Man advice needed for a friend..(long)

[FreshTressa]

I have not posted in a while, but I know this is a great place to go to get good advice from the masses!

My best friend met this gay guy on the internet and they became good friends. He only lives about an hour and a half away and she drove up to meet him one day when she was going to be in town anyway. This was about a month ago.

So, while there, her gay friend brought along some friends, one of which she really clicked with. He wound up buying her lunch. She assumed he was gay also, but upon questioning her original friend, she found out that he is not, that he has been engaged, likes women and is actively looking for a relationship.

So, anyway, my friend and this guy she hit it off with exchanged IM's and phone numbers. So, every night since meeting, he calls her and they talk on the phone for hours. He sends her IM's from work, plays games online with her and has bought her some CD's and mailed them to her. She says they have tons of stuff in common, the same hobbies, same music, same life philosophies etc.

BUT, he has never once asked to see her again or invite her on a date, but has alluded to wanting to show her his favorite restaurant. Also, their conversations, while great have been completely platonic....although he has said she was an amazing person and has mentioned his desire to be married and settled down within the next few years.

Any ideas what this guys deal could be? My friend would like to date him and has dropped hints that she has this weekend free, and he said he did too, but he never posted an invitation. In my experience, men don't usually put forth this much effort to a woman that he just wants to be friends with, although there are exceptions. Also, my friend has a kid, and he has none. Maybe this is scaring him off.

 

[*Flower*]

She might just want to relax and not read too much into his comments.

If she's actively looking for a relationship with love/marriage at the end- she might not want to take him too seriously. He's making the noises, but he's not ready to persue anything.

I wish her the best........

 

[RitaZ.]

Who knows what the guy is thinking... Your friend can always ask him out and see how he responds.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Plain and simple...Men stink! (When it comes to relationships.)

 

[FreshTressa]

I don't know if you remember, but this is the same friend whose last BF had a 4 month old baby with his wife who he was in the process of divorcing. The divorce went through...but she dumped him. Yay for her!

Boy I am glad I am married, hehe.

 

[Margie J]

Well, it's only been a month. I'd suggest that your friend not worry so much about the possible "date". Given the fact that they talk for hours and are exchanging info about one another is a good sign IMO. He may be more interested in the depth of a person, their inner soul and less about the fancy dinners, flowers and "romance" just yet.

If he is still doing this six months down the line then I'd have to say s**t or get off the pot.

 

[TigerBear]

I think I am with PW on this one. With their frequency of contact, it seems quite strange to me that he has not asked her out. Has she talked to her friend about this guy. What is his take?

 

[bjgrazi]

Could he possibly be taking it slow and see what develops before jumping into anything. Possibly he's had his heart broken and just wants to be sure before he puts himself out there.

Not all men stink, there are some wonderful ones out there. There are also some real horrible women out there, that cause the men to stink. IMHO.

 

[bubie2.5]

Maybe he doesn't want to pressure her into anything; maybe he's probably giving her time to really think about it; maybe (since their conversations have been completely platonic) he's not sure about how she feels about him; maybe he's too chicken; maybe he's afraid she would say no.

A lot of maybes, but if he wasn't interested he wouldn't spend all this time talking to her.

 

[Dan Murphy]

No advice, Tressa, just wanted to say it is nice to see you, you have been missed.

 

[supergoof]

I'd say, rule out her child keeping him from asking her out, heck you said he has a kid too.I would say with the IM's and all the interactions without face to face meetings, it would leave someone "curious" as to the others feelings. I have to see someone to catch little "looks" or actions to really tell what they are thinking.
I agree with the masses, give it more time but, don't read too much into text. Get her to make the dude meet her half way. That's what a good relationship is all about!


P.S. Glad to meet you.