Mama bear angry

[smilie]

So my DD came home from school today telling me that a girl at school has started kicking her. Hard. In the bottom and the shins. I've already contacted the school but my blood is boiling right now! I DESPISE bullying! And I have angry mama bear syndrome bad! What else can I do so I don't march myself down to the school and confront this girl myself.

 

[J'aime Paris]

Take some deep breaths.....

Do NOT confront a minor. It will only end badly for you.

How old is your DD? How old is the other girl?

Is the school pro-active about handling bullying and/or physical aggression?
Give the school, teacher and admin a chance to handle this. Keep lines of communication open and make sure they are following up.

 

[smilie]

My DD is 12, I think the other girl is maybe a year older. I emailed the teacher and she told me to have her report it in the morning. That it won't happen again under her watch, but it's happening in the hallway between classes so... who knows. So I guess I have to wait and see what happens tomorrow. It makes my heart hurt DD is such a good kid with an amazing and helpful heart. She doesn't deserve this.

 

[NannyBeBe]

If this were to happen in the district where my daughters teach, the police would be called. If the school administration is not planning to contact the bully's parents and the abuse happens again, then the police should be called.

 

[neverlandsky]

(((HUGS))) Middle school is tough and very high bully incidents. You're best contacting the school Dean. If you really want attention fast, the kick in the butt is sexual harassment and assualt. Trust me, been down this road before. It will be addressed ASAP.

 

[Travel60]

My first thought is that I'd get my daughter self-defense lessons then tell her to slam that kid to the ground. But....that would get your DD in trouble.

Talk to the principal, talk to the other parents, talk to the other girl in presence of her parents. Try to find out what is going on that she thinks that is appropriate. Could be a cry for help.

If all else fails, call the police.

 

[OneOftheB's]

Why on earth did the school not call you as soon as it happened? That would at least show they were interested in handling the situation and pulling the aggressor from class to keep her away from other students.

 

[izzy]

I’d skip the teacher and go straight to the principal.

 

[Pink Partridge]

So my DD came home from school today telling me that a girl at school has started kicking her. Hard. In the bottom and the shins.

Assault. I can't believe the school didn't immediately reach out to you.

 

[Feralpeg]

Let the school handle it. Tell your daughter to try not to react when the girl makes remarks. I know that doesn't work for physical assault, but bullies only get satisfaction if they see a reaction. No reaction, they will get bored with it fast.

 

[Meglen]

Have your daughter where shin guards with spikes... J/k... Kind of. It's so horrible that it takes a crying child to have an adult at the school to notice. No excuse to not notice assaults in the hallway. I hope the school puts a stop to it. You got this just keep on the school.

 

[DisneyOma]

If she is bruised from these assaults (and yes, it is assault!) document them by taking photos - not of her butt if that's too much for her, but at least the shins. Maybe get her checked out by her doctor too? Or at least the school nurse? (((Hugs))) to you both! I taught both my girls how to defend themselves from bullies, and one day I got a call from the elementary school. Seems a boy was chasing my older daughter around the playground. She told him to leave her alone, to stop chasing her, he didn't, so she kicked him in the nuts. She then lied to the vice principal about it. She got in trouble at home for lying, but not for defending herself. I did ask her why she didn't just run over to the teachers supervising recess. She said "but you told me what to do!" Oops! When I talked to a friend who worked there she said the kid she kicked was known for being aggressive, they tried to keep an eye on him, but the play structures made it hard to see the whole area. I believe she also said the consensus among those who knew the situation was "yeah, he had it coming". I don't agree with violence to solve a problem like this, and it was frustrating to find out they knew he was acting out, but no one messed with my daughter in the playground ever again.

 

[dclpluto]

don’t do email as something as important as this. Talk to the teacher in person or at the very least talk by telephone.

 

[Kittyblue]

I agree with suggestions to call the principal about it. I’m sure it’s not like this everywhere, but unfortunately in my experience the principal hearing of issues from the student or the teacher they reported it to carries a lot less weight than hearing it from a parent, and problems don’t always get dealt with.

 

[CaoilinnsMom]

So my DD came home from school today telling me that a girl at school has started kicking her. Hard. In the bottom and the shins. I've already contacted the school but my blood is boiling right now! I DESPISE bullying! And I have angry mama bear syndrome bad! What else can I do so I don't march myself down to the school and confront this girl myself.

Have your daughter write down a statement with as much information as possible while it is still fresh. Where it happened, what time, who might have seen it happen. Schools have cameras. Take a copy of the statement to school tomorrow, or email it to the administration along with a phone call. They can pull up the footage and see what happened. If another girl attacked her the school will handle it.

 

[Jennasis]

For fastest resolution, call the principle directly and say the words "Police" "Assault" and "Lawsuit".

 

[DLgal]

Give the school ONE chance to deal with this and then go to the police if it happens again. Call the principal in the morning. Do not rely on the teacher to handle it. The principal needs to be involved now.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I'm so sad this is happening to your child it's hard to be a mom.
I think it's illegal for an adult to permit one child to hurt another child so they are likely obligated to stop this but the insidious stuff is tough to track. Hopefully things will sort out but with what we know about how bad things can be for some kids I'd get my child evaluated by the pediatrician ASAP for a paper trail. In the area where I worked schools need to let kids with diagnosis of depression be accommodated remotely and I've seen it, maybe you can do some research on what is available. There are also charter schools and such that offer kids being bullied a great deal of relief.

 

[quandrea]

My DD is 12, I think the other girl is maybe a year older. I emailed the teacher and she told me to have her report it in the morning. That it won't happen again under her watch, but it's happening in the hallway between classes so... who knows. So I guess I have to wait and see what happens tomorrow. It makes my heart hurt DD is such a good kid with an amazing and helpful heart. She doesn't deserve this.

I thought you were going to say your dd was four or five. Acting out physically at thirteen (age of the bully) is so developmentally inappropriate. Everyone else is right. Phone or visit the principal tomorrow and have your daughter write everything down tonight so her account of the incident is clear. Just terrible behaviour....

 

[kymom99]

I thought you were going to say your dd was four or five. Acting out physically at thirteen (age of the bully) is so developmentally inappropriate. Everyone else is right. Phone or visit the principal tomorrow and have your daughter write everything down tonight so her account of the incident is clear. Just terrible behaviour....

I have to say it. Middle school kids are mean. This goes not surprise me at all. I teach middle school.