Making a large purchase with an inheritance...

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Yes, I would and did. As a PP stated, we also bought DVC with an inheritance from my mom. The money was unexpected, and I didn't just rush off to speand it--we talked long and hard about how best to use the money for our family. We knew she would want us to enjoy it as a family.

It will be a little different when MIL dies. For one thing, DH will inherit 7 figures. Certainly, a lot of that will go into investments. Also, MIL is very big on education--she's established trusts for college for each grandchild--so that would definitely be a priority for some of the money. I could also see us using the money to improve our lives--maybe a newer vehicle, renovate the house, etc.

I know a family that was really struggling financially, mostly because they had 4 kids in just under 3 years. Tragically, one of their children was killed in a car accident. They used the settlement money to buy a new, fancy house. That, I don't think I could do. I would look around all day and see my dead child. And frankly, the whole family seemed just so miserable--I know it's atough thing to go thorugh, and I don't think they had the necessary support (counseling, etc.).

One final note--people can do some funny things in grief. Some may appear odd to an outside observer. If I heard of someone, say, going on a cruise right after they lost their mom, I would be very, very slow to judge. You don't know the history or what drives them through the grief process.

 

[Camicar]

I used the inheritance from my mother to put a down payment on a house.

My sister used the same amount of money for well...crap. Chanel lipstick here, dvd player there.

7 years later, I have that house (which we've paid off). My sister has... nothing.

So, heck yeah, I'd use the money for something substantial. And no, the house has never reminded me of my mother's passing. If I think about it, it's with gratitude that her 'gift' gave us our house.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

We knew she would want us to enjoy it as a family.

This is a great point that I forgot to mention. One of the last things my mom ever said to me (knowing she was about to die) was "have fun".

I also knew she'd want us to spend the money in whatever way made us happy.

 

[NMAmy]

In my own experience, the receipt of an inheritance can take place quite a long time after the death of the person. We weren't expecting anything so it was a very nice surprise and we had had 8 months to grieve.

No, I don't think of the person when I use any of the large purchases that were made. We have items that she gave us before she passed away that do remind us of her.

 

[robinb]

I did make a relatively large purchase with an inheritance. My grandmother died and left me with a few thousand dollars. I spent about half of it on a strand of Japanese pearls and with a handmade pendant that hangs off the necklace. I refer to it as "my grandmother's pearls" and think of her whenever I wear it.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

Would you be comfortable seeing the receipt of a financial inheritance as a context for indulging in one or more large purchases?

Also: Would or would not the things you buy with money from an inheritance "remind" you of the loss that brought about the inheritance?

1) Yes - my parents bought an RV with the inheritance from Mom's parents since their house was paid off.

2) Nope.

 

[DawnCt1]

Would you be comfortable seeing the receipt of a financial inheritance as a context for indulging in one or more large purchases?

Also: Would or would not the things you buy with money from an inheritance "remind" you of the loss that brought about the inheritance?

My mother left me a modest inheritance which she worked very hard for. She lived modestly, saved conservatively and lived in part off of the proceeds without touching the principle. Her estate was split evenly between my brother and I 12 years ago. I have saved and invested all of my portion. My DB has done the same with a sizable portion of his share. We both felt that spending it frivolously would not have honored our mother. Everyone decides for themselves I guess.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Yes (but I am very frugal) and maybe (depends on the person and the purchase).

Why would you not spend the money?

 

[All American]

I think you misunderstood my question.

Would you see receiving a large inheritance as an acceptable opportunity to make one or more large purchases? And would your purchase serve as a reminder for your lost loved one?

Thanks for the clarification. I absolutely have no problems with large inheritances being spent on large purchases. I think the money was left to you (general "you") for whatever reason and that the one who bestowed such a gift trusted you with what they earned. I have known people who have received large sums and went hog-wild only to have it gone within a few years. I have known others who used the money to purchase a house and furniture or a car when it was needed.

As for the second question, I don't think you need to have a park bench with Grandma's name etched into it in the backyard if you were to buy a house (or put a downpayment) but a simple thought of "I couldn't have done this without your help Grandma" and honoring the gift/inheritance by taking care of whatever you purchase can serve as a reminder as well.

Clear as mud?

ETA: If it helps, my financial philosophy is that "money is a stewardship" no matter how much you have. This is how I was raised.

 

[LakeAriel]

When my Dad died he left a very small amount to each of the three of us. I bought a Grandfather Clock. That was in 1977 and it still works! ..and of course, I think of him when I look at it.

 

[OK!]

My mom received a large inheritance from my great-aunt when she passed away in 2006 and purchased a hot tub with the money (along with several house repairs, etc.) She has a lot of severe back problems and so uses it almost daily, so of course it reminds her of her aunt, but in a very good way. I've heard her say, "Thanks, Aunt Isabella!" on more than one occasion.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I think you misunderstood my question.

Would you see receiving a large inheritance as an acceptable opportunity to make one or more large purchases? And would your purchase serve as a reminder for your lost loved one?

What else would you do with the money? Let it sit in a bank or as an investment?

No matter what, the money is there either in the form of something purchased or invested, so it really wouldn't matter to me at all.

And no, the money or the thing bought with it would remind me of the lost one but that doesn't even mean it be in a bad way. My sister has my grandpa's house and it reminds her of him often and she's happy.

We plan to sell the house later on down the road to use as down-payments for both of us, so that's even a better way to remember grandpa as he spoiled us rotten.

 

[minniecarousel]

Shortly after we were married, DH's great uncle Wally passed away. Since his mother had died, her share of Uncle Wally's estate was split 3 ways for DH & his brother & sister. DH bought a really nice 35 mm camera and telephoto lens. We always referred to that as "Uncle Wally's camera"! (I had never met him and DH only had a vague recollection of him.)

 

[DMickey28]

I would use the money in a way that made myself and the loved one happy. I would not use it just to put in savings unless I NEEDED it and that was my loved ones wish. I would pay off debt, going on a vacation, buy a lasting item that would remind me of my loved one. I wouldn't throw it in my bank account and let it be used just like the rest of my money. I would want to do something "special" with it that I might not do if I didn't get the money.

 

[Minnie-n-Mickey4ever]

Would you be comfortable seeing the receipt of a financial inheritance as a context for indulging in one or more large purchases?

Also: Would or would not the things you buy with money from an inheritance "remind" you of the loss that brought about the inheritance?

It would not bother me at all. As a matter of fact, before my dad passed away (mom had passed away a few years prior) he had sold his house and moved in with DH & me. It was a big mistake from the beginning - fights constantly usually started by dad - but we made the best of it because he wasn't in the best of health and being an only child it was my "duty" (as dad called it) to take care of him.

Anyway, we had bought into DVC and were paying monthly and dad told me to take "some" of the money and buy whatever I wanted since the money was to be for me anyway (as an inheritence when dad passed - well whatever money was left after taking care of dad that is). DH & I thought about it and decided instead of buying something else, we decided to pay off our DVC "mortgage". Best thing we ever did!

Dad passed away shortly after that and the money (that we had from the sale of dad's house that we were using to take care of him) had been invested and yep! you guessed it - we lost every penny because of the economy! And last year DH couldn't work because of continuous health issues - so had we not paid off our DVC we would have been forced to try and sell it.

just my 2 cents!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

When my husband's mom passed away, we sold her house and also received insurance settlements and other money. We split all of the proceeds with his brother. We used our share to put a very large (2/3) down payment on our house. We probably wouldn't have been able to purchase the house and have such a low monthly payment without that money.

We didn't feel badly about spending the money. We feel thankful that it was provided to us.

 

[ferris198]

My Mother recently passed away and has left me some money.
With it I am buying my DH a new car, and having my kitchen renovated, which is something my Mom and I had often talked about.
I believe she would want me to to that.
Also, we will go on a trip.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I think you misunderstood my question.

Would you see receiving a large inheritance as an acceptable opportunity to make one or more large purchases? And would your purchase serve as a reminder for your lost loved one?

Yes

and

Yes

... and that's okay.

 

[cheermom1]

if i was to ever come into a large sum of money no matter how I got it I intend on paying off our house period....so yes and then yes that they helped me buy our house....

 

[DisTeach1]

Well, we just received a little under $400,000 from my husbands' parents estate and I can't even talk my husband into an extra vacation! We paid off our second mortgage, our putting some away in a very safe, blah, 2% money market for right now. We paid off every bill we had. He's still holding me to eating out once a week. In other words, we are being very careful and conservative with it, because while it is a lot of money, we also realize it can be squandered just as easily.

So, no we are not making a large purchase, although about 18 months ago when we refinanced and remodeled, we never dreamed our housing value would tank, so it has been nice to pay off that entire 2nd mortgage. I guess in a way, my MIL paid for my new kitchen, but no, the money doesn't make me think of them. Pictures and other things make me think of them.