She is currently in second grade and is having more social issues and says know one likes her and wants to sit by her at lunch. This just breaks my heart 
she is such a sweetheart, but comes across as aggressive and loud and talkitive. My gut still thinks there is more going on than just ADHD and anxiety and feel she maybe high functioning autistic.
Diane,
What you just wrote about your daughter could have been written about me 50 years ago - story of my life. Never invited to the birthday parties, etc. I was finally diagnosed with ADD at the age of 50. Adder's are notorious for having poor social skills, not picking up on social cues from others, and so forth. However, social skills and "awareness" can be trained, to some degree, and I've been working hard on mine.
Fortunately for your daughter, she was diagnosed young - AND there are meds (what a blessing was Ritalin for me when I was still working) and methods of learning the social skills that weren't available 50 years ago. My granddaughter attended an after school social skills program. There are also camps and coaching. If you have a local chapter of CHADD or some other support group for parents of ADDers, that might be a place to start.
It *will* all work out, but it WILL take work. Good luck!
Oh, PS. Despite the undiagnosed ADD, many ups and downs through my teenage years and young adulthood, I managed to grow up, have a successful marraige, satisfactory career and a good life. Those same kids who shunned me at age 8, are, at our most recent (42nd) class reunion, warm friends.