LuvLuvLuv's Memories TR Starts Pg 73 - Honeymoon Day 6.1

[sw33t_angel]

YAY!! So glad you get your dream wedding with just you and your DF!!

Everything sounds wonderful so far!!!!

What about a private dinner on the Tower of Terror Terrace like Carrie had mentioned?

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

Oh man girl.. fingers crossed for you tonight! Sending boat loads full of pixie dust your way*

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine!

I have to admit I laughed at your post - I was imagining your 'examples'

I just wanted to say--- GOOD LUCK!!!!! FMIL are the worst anyway. (Well, some of them are.)

Worst comes to work? Just kick her.

Yikes! Can't he just tell her since it is his mom? I would so have my H bite that bullet. I remember after we got married and had to tell everyone (we had a non-wedding on the beach with just our parents present) we had a rule that he had to take care of his friends/family and I had to take care of mine.

Good luck!!!!

Phew that's good to hear that guest count shouldn't be a problem. Sorry for freaking you out!! I hope your dinner with FMIL goes okay...I almost always find myself breaking bad news to his family/friends too. Maybe it's a guy thing?

YAY!! So glad you get your dream wedding with just you and your DF!!

Everything sounds wonderful so far!!!!

What about a private dinner on the Tower of Terror Terrace like Carrie had mentioned?

THANKS EVERYONE!! I feel like your wishes and pixie dust got me through dinner last night

In the car on the way to dinner, I asked Dave if he was prepared to tell her the news. He said no. I told him I wasn't going to do it because it's his mother. He said that he would tell her we didn't decide yet I told him that was a lie and I don't marry liars He really wasn't going to tell her, and I knew the look on my face would give it away. Ugh.

So we get there, get a table, she gets there... comes whipping in the door, scowl on her face, mad, throws her keys and purse down. Loverly. Before saying hello she just jumps right in. ((in my head--i was secretly nervous that she found my PJ, lol)) She rants about how her father (DF's GF) is very ill and probably has very little time left. Why the rage and not sadness... I dunno... I feel like it was a show--a bad soap opera, or a high school theater performance. It went on for a bit and I caught myself staring off into space. I don't even know what I was looking at because I couldn't see. I forgot my glasses in my car at home because I had my prescription sunglasses on and just jumped in his car. So we order our food and the interruption seemed to calm her down. She then started gossiping about his brother and his GF. Simply amazing. Then she started asking about people's FB pictures and posts... and she is a Grade A stalker which is why the Dis must NEVER be mentioned on my FB account!! We both responded to... we don't really care much about what other people do, we have our own stuff to worry about. I kind of like making people feel dumb... I just always have... It's a gift.

The food was taking a while and I was PRAYING it would hurry before she jumps to the dreaded subject. Low and behold, she asks in one sentence: So about this wedding, do I need park tickets, are there discounts, where do I stay, are there discounts, is there a room block, do i have to pay for the rehearsal dinner, where is everything at, you know i have to fly to panama city and get the grandparents then drive from there which is expensive, what do I need to do, you know I took a huge paycut and I need to save. At this point I am staring at her because she hasn't stopped griping yet. Dave says... well we haven't really decided details yet Enough. I had my big girl pants on and I had had enough. She obviously seemed unhappy about the money so I'll give her an out. I, like a little mouse, said... Well we have a few ideas, but we've also been kicking around the idea of going by ourselves and having something when we get back. She stared at me--I couldn't decide if it was good or bad because I couldn't really see her across the table without my glasses, lol. She said, well do what makes you happy. Oh? So I was confused by this so I just started talking. I said that the reason we haven't made a decision is because we don't want to offend family who wants to be there. I then asked how she felt about it and she said she was okay with it. Whether it was true or not was another story. I explained money, family, travel, honeymoon, etc... and I felt like I sold it pretty well.

The food came, she barked that her steak was well done and not medium. When he went to take it back she barked, no... I'm going to eat it... just take it off my bill. I could have died from embarrassment. They went back and forth for a minute, but she continued to tell him what he was going to do. Ugh.

So after all that (my chicken fingers were great by the way) we got back to the wedding and she asked what she could do. I asked if she could find a place for our reception. She said we could do it at my condo complex. Of course she would pick a free location... small but free. I'm worried about parking and size there, but whatev. She obviously doesn't want to pay for anything, but keeps asking what she can help with. If you're not going to dish it out... don't put yourself out there. Grrr! Dinner was over, she asked if we wanted to get ice cream at Coldstone and we declined. We had to get outta there. On our way home we stopped and got ice cream and ate it while watching American Idol I would say it went wayyyyyyyyyy better than we thought. We just don't know if she's being honest to our face, then will turn around and tell someone else behind our back that we're trying to keep her out of our lives. I guess we'll see.

So as far as this reception goes... I'd like it to be "open house" style. Come and go as you please, eat, drink, look at pictures, get out. Most likely on a Sunday when our friends can be there and aren't working. Do you think the Sunday after Thanksgiving is a bad time--or good because people are off?? I'm afraid to do it into December when weather may be an issue. I also have vowed to myself that I'm personally not spending over $500 on it. Family can chip in on that. The only reason I'll spend anything is to be sure it isn't too tacky.

Well I guess I'm going to look at reception stuff for the next week or so until I get an email back from my coordinator. No use making plans until I see what we're able to do, or if he has a super cool idea or two! I told DF that since I tackled his mom and my aunt already, that he has to call my stepmom. Yeah, right. So after I deal with that, maybe this weekend I will feel more at peace

I think that's all for now. I'm going to go do a little work

 

[elleinad16]

OH wow, just reading that stressed me to the max! I'm glad you were honest and told her though. Hopefully she's really ok with it. Partway there now!

 

[lilsqueakrr]

Well, glad to hear your chicken fingers were good! ;D haha.

But at least she didn't cause a rutkuss in the restaurant! ha. Give her a day or two for reality to sink in and she if she still has the same reaction? But WOOHOO. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what she says anyway!

And I totally agree with the don't offer if you wanna do it cheaply thing! DF's mom does the same thing! And it drives me up the friggn wall!!! Especially cause then DF offers to pay her part. AOY!

But yay anyways! hehe.

 

[KristiLyn]

Wow, she kinda sounds like a downer
I'm so glad you spoke up! I wouldn't have been able to keep quiet.
I definitely think you should give it a couple days and see what her reaction really is. My family is famous for saying one thing and then days later, it's a huge problem. Good luck! I really hope everything works out!!!

 

[DoomBuggy0922]

Ooff! I was stressed too! But I, as well, am glad you had yummy chicken fingers. And maybe your other senses were being heightened by your lack of sight.

You know, the way I see it is, she's given you her "consent." She told you to do whatever made you happy--- and so you're going to do that! Even if she says another thing, or changes her mind, just stick to your guns!

 

[Bewitch324]

I'm so proud of you that you decided to put it out there even Dave was afraid to. Especially because she was in a MOOD. Must have been really scary, but it sounds like you handled it great. Hopefully she's being sincere, but if she's not...well, just pretend she is (was). It's her own fault if she can't be honest, right?

So two big hurdles surmounted!! WHoo Hoo!! Everyday you are a little farther down the path to your dream (drama free) wedding !!

Thank you for the update, I was so worried for you last night!!
Brooke

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

OH wow, just reading that stressed me to the max! I'm glad you were honest and told her though. Hopefully she's really ok with it. Partway there now!

i feel so relieved to get it out! now just one more major family member to tackle and i'll be good

Well, glad to hear your chicken fingers were good! ;D haha.

But at least she didn't cause a rutkuss in the restaurant! ha. Give her a day or two for reality to sink in and she if she still has the same reaction? But WOOHOO. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what she says anyway!

And I totally agree with the don't offer if you wanna do it cheaply thing! DF's mom does the same thing! And it drives me up the friggn wall!!! Especially cause then DF offers to pay her part. AOY!

But yay anyways! hehe.

so far so good... i even got a text that i should do what makes me happy. impressiveeeeeeee!!

Wow, she kinda sounds like a downer
I'm so glad you spoke up! I wouldn't have been able to keep quiet.
I definitely think you should give it a couple days and see what her reaction really is. My family is famous for saying one thing and then days later, it's a huge problem. Good luck! I really hope everything works out!!!

yeah... she'll never say anything to us, but she'll go to the bar and dish to his friends how she feels... and it of course gets back to us. blah. so far nothing negative has happened... i'll just keep my fingers crossed!!

Ooff! I was stressed too! But I, as well, am glad you had yummy chicken fingers. And maybe your other senses were being heightened by your lack of sight.

You know, the way I see it is, she's given you her "consent." She told you to do whatever made you happy--- and so you're going to do that! Even if she says another thing, or changes her mind, just stick to your guns!

I chicken fingers, lol. I agree... she said what she said and there's no turning back

I'm so proud of you that you decided to put it out there even Dave was afraid to. Especially because she was in a MOOD. Must have been really scary, but it sounds like you handled it great. Hopefully she's being sincere, but if she's not...well, just pretend she is (was). It's her own fault if she can't be honest, right?

So two big hurdles surmounted!! WHoo Hoo!! Everyday you are a little farther down the path to your dream (drama free) wedding !!

Thank you for the update, I was so worried for you last night!!
Brooke

Thanks I was super nervous, but once I started talking... it just flowed. I felt like I was talking too much, and I was nervous.... but given the circumstance it went better than I thought!! Thanks for your support!!

____________________________________

Well I didn't think I had an update today... but I do, lol. Last night I went to Benihana with a friend of mine. We talked life and wedding, she said she'd help with whatever which is nice (this is my doggy sitter with the memory issues, lol). She went with me the second time I tried on the Maggie Sottero dresses. She loved the silver Dominique on me. I showed her the picture of the Alfred Angelo I liked from the showcase and she said although it's more simple, she thinks she likes it better because of that. I told her I was still up in the air since we pretty much changed everything about our day... I wasn't sure what kind of "look" we were going for being alone.

So after we were done, I drove an hour home (11 miles) because of an accident--2nd day in a row like this. Dave was at softball and while the AI finale was on, I scoured the internet for new dress ideas. I had saved a few I liked, then Dave came home and my pictures were still up on the screen. Particularly the one of me at the showcase. He maybe had a few drinks at softball and immediately was like.... ugh... I don't like it--I'm just not feeling the look. Pshhhh I guess better that he saw it now, lol. I asked what he didn't like about it and he wouldn't tell me. He just kept saying he wasn't feeling it. I asked if it was the shape... he didn't know. Is it that my chest is pushed up into my neck.... no he liked that Is it that it made my waist look much littler--nope he liked that. Is it because it's white?? He shrugged his shoulders. Viola! I asked if he could pick a color for me to wear what would it be... he said silver or black. Okay.

So I guess a little background would be... I have to wear black everyday for work. My closet is filled with 90% black, and my accent color is grey or silver which is about 8% of my closet, and 2% items of color I must have found on sale. Is he just used to me in black?? Besides a few pairs of socks... I don't own anything white. Not one thing. Nothing. So when I googled, I came up with prom dresses. Let me tell you... they don't make prom dresses like they used to. Funny thing... when I was a junior, I had the most gorgeous black gown that I had tons of crinnie under. I always said if I got married I wanted the same dress in white. Lol... If I could lose 85 pounds and fish it out of the closet I'd be good to go I'll have to dig up a picture. I do think I have the sheer sequin bolero with me here. It may just come in handy!

We found one we both liked.... but it's going to take me a while to process this. I just don't know. I was looking on all kind of sites... some I don't trust, but I was just looking anyway. Just getting ideas this is what I found:

http://www.eastbridal.com/evening-d...r-length-evening-dress-2010-style-ed0117.html
((i think i would wear this everyday, lol))


http://www.eastbridal.com/evening-d...aid-satin-and-tulle-evening-dress-ed0112.html

http://www.serendipityprom.com/proddetail.php?prod=TeraniP171

http://www.serendipityprom.com/proddetail.php?prod=sherrihill2555
(it's white but i like it)

http://www.serendipityprom.com/proddetail.php?prod=blush5020&cat=147
***this one he reallllllly liked... and i like it too. the $298 price tag doesn't hurt my eyes either


So those are just what I quickly looked at when he threw me thru a loop. I need to go in person... but who has the time?? I'm soooo exhausted. Every night lately we've had severe thunderstorms and sirens going for tornado warnings... up and down to the lower level, ughhh. It's so miserable here. It hasn't quit raining since February. We're supposed to have a threatned tornado again this afternoon. Looking out the window to drearyness everyday is depressing--I need vitamin D in the natural form... not the gummy vitamins.

So let me know what you think. I'm going to sleep at my desk and act like I'm working on a project that's due tomorrow

 

[Mindyjoy]

I like the first and last one! I know you want DF to be happy but the real question to ask yourself is, what do YOU see yourself wearing on your wedding day. There's absolutely no rule that says you have to wear white, but when you picture yourself at the "alter", what do you see yourself wearing?

 

[dkal]

First of all...my heart just breaks for all that you are going through in your area.

Personally I feel that you must be happy with your dress...no matter what color or style it is. I can't imagine that your future husband will look at you for the first time on your wedding day and think...'wow, I don't like that dress she's wearing'.

On that day you could wear a burlap sack and he will think you look beautiful.

The dresses you showed are lovely...and the one you said you could wear everyday...I'd start looking for in white. That is one beautiful dress.

Don't stress about it...but wear what your heart says you should.

I'll be keeping you in my prayers for the weather to clear up quickly. Stay safe.

 

[KristiLyn]

I like the last one!
You're absolutely right, they don't make prom dresses like they used to. My sister went to prom this year and I helped her pick out her dress, and I couldn't believe it!
I think your df will think you are beautiful in whatever you pick out. I say, get what you want and what you think you look the best in. He will see the total package on the big day and you will look stunning

 

[lilsqueakrr]

The first and last one get my vote! ;D I do know some designers make dresses in a Silver color? Alfred Angelo included!

And no, they DEFINITELY don't make Prom gowns like they used to at all.. my gown was gorgeous ( I looked like Belle ) and totally would wear it in white for my wedding! Ha. Low and behold, I'm going a completely different direction as far as dresses go! Ha. But hey it doesn't hurt to try them on! Esp if the prices are right! Could always do a white dress with color beading/accents even? Up to you!
Btw, I own like 2 things that are white! ha

That text sounds pretty awesome and is totally a good sign! Woohoo!

Thinking about you girl with all these storms. <3 <3

 

[DoomBuggy0922]

Oh my gosh I LOVE the last one!!!!! I want to wear that NOW. And twirl around in it!!

But, really--- just do whatever YOU want! You're the one who has to care, and he's a guy and will forget what you're wearing in a second anyway!

 

[Pinkgirl]

Another vote for the last one. It is gorgeous.

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

I like the first and last one! I know you want DF to be happy but the real question to ask yourself is, what do YOU see yourself wearing on your wedding day. There's absolutely no rule that says you have to wear white, but when you picture yourself at the "alter", what do you see yourself wearing?

I realllllly like the first one, but it's one of those ones that they hand make in China and it never comes out right from reviews I thought of trying to order it just because it's cheap. I could always turn it into a halloween costume I thought I had a clear picture of what I wanted to look like, but now that it's just us... I guess its changing a bit.

First of all...my heart just breaks for all that you are going through in your area.

Personally I feel that you must be happy with your dress...no matter what color or style it is. I can't imagine that your future husband will look at you for the first time on your wedding day and think...'wow, I don't like that dress she's wearing'.

On that day you could wear a burlap sack and he will think you look beautiful.

The dresses you showed are lovely...and the one you said you could wear everyday...I'd start looking for in white. That is one beautiful dress.

Don't stress about it...but wear what your heart says you should.

I'll be keeping you in my prayers for the weather to clear up quickly. Stay safe.

Thanks for the prayers. Tornados ripped thru our area yesterday about 35 minutes north of our town. Lots of flooding on our streets and branches are everywhere. It's supposed to be sunny this weekend though!! I really need to expand my horizons and find a day to dress shop. I feel like looking online at pictures isn't going to get me far--I need to see them in person for sure!!

I like the last one!
You're absolutely right, they don't make prom dresses like they used to. My sister went to prom this year and I helped her pick out her dress, and I couldn't believe it!
I think your df will think you are beautiful in whatever you pick out. I say, get what you want and what you think you look the best in. He will see the total package on the big day and you will look stunning

I remember back in my day We wanted to look elegant... now everyone wants to look edgy and dramatic!! Working at Dillard's we have a huge selection of dresses and they're super short, super low-cut, neon, lol... they are really intense. I'm a Dior artist there and they make prom appointments and they want super dramatic eyes and I'm like ughhh your 16. Not that we didn't look fancy when we went... these girls are just a whole different generation!! ..... and as far as my DF goes.... as long as my makeup rocks.... he'll be happy. He likes how I do it

The first and last one get my vote! ;D I do know some designers make dresses in a Silver color? Alfred Angelo included!

And no, they DEFINITELY don't make Prom gowns like they used to at all.. my gown was gorgeous ( I looked like Belle ) and totally would wear it in white for my wedding! Ha. Low and behold, I'm going a completely different direction as far as dresses go! Ha. But hey it doesn't hurt to try them on! Esp if the prices are right! Could always do a white dress with color beading/accents even? Up to you!
Btw, I own like 2 things that are white! ha

That text sounds pretty awesome and is totally a good sign! Woohoo!

Thinking about you girl with all these storms. <3 <3

I like the silver thing too... makes me think about the Dominique that I almost got before. Hmmmm. You need to get on a plane and come help me shop, lol!!

Oh my gosh I LOVE the last one!!!!! I want to wear that NOW. And twirl around in it!!

But, really--- just do whatever YOU want! You're the one who has to care, and he's a guy and will forget what you're wearing in a second anyway!

Lol, I think I want to twirl in it too. I will call and order, "um hi, I'd like to order this dress, try it on and twirl in it, then send it back if it doesn't twirl like the girl in the picture, is that okay?" lol. Unfortunatley, he's half female when it comes to clothes. He's very big into clothes so picking something he likes is sooooooo important to me.

Another vote for the last one. It is gorgeous.

Thanks!!

________________________________

So 2 of my best co-workers just came back from vacation, and they're both engaged!! So finally there are people at work that will know what I'm going thru and that can relate to my madness. They have already caught the fever, lol. They're both planning for Fall 2012 too so it looks like we're all taking the ride together which will be kinda nice The 3 of us couldn't be any more different from each other which is really fun to see how everyone's plans will turn out. We're all 3 Catholic, but only one of us will do the church thing--and yes, for us rebels... our families are not thrilled. So the one wants to do a beach package in Florida... does anyone know a good spot I can suggest for her?? She doesn't want her family to have to go out of the country. Anyway... I'm sure we'll be doing a lot of dress shopping along the way so I'll have plenty to look at and decide.

June is busy with both works. Dior has a two week event, my other company has our family day at King's Island, my friends will racing in town, and our complex's garage sale. That's a lot of mess, lol. My main concern is to get BLT MK View booked, and save for a deposit for my photographer and DFTW.

Well the Disney Store just sent me a free shipping offer so I'm going to go shop, lol.

 

[Princess SarahK]

I like 1, 2, and 4 the best. Theyre all pretty but I would probably wear 1 and 2 if I could everyday also! Theyre very pretty. I also agree with everyone else, Dave might not be used to you in white and just needs to get used to people in white dresses..you could strategically place wedding magazines or bride pictures around the condo? Too much? lol...I am the queen of "subtle" hints and reminders bahahaha You need to make YOU happy, this is your day (his too, but mostly yours!) so do what you think is right. We will all be here to support you, even if you decide to wear a bathing suit Happy Hunting!

 

[lilsqueakrr]

Haha, Disney sent me the email too! If only I had money? I may just have to shop either way! ha.

But I WISH I could get on a plane and come shopping girl! You know I'd be there in a heartbeat! If I had the money I'd purchase my ticket now! I'm so game to help you out! Can always go dress shopping and text me the pics? I'll just send you my cell number! =]

Yay for your 2 co-workers! I can't even tell you how many weddings are going on in 2012. But best of all? MINE's LAST! WOO! Nobody can copy me ha. I'm Catholic as well, and didn't want to do the big church wedding. But I don't have much of a choice. Wah! Ohhh welll. hehe.

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

Well I didn't see this update coming today... but:

Let me start off by saying: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Hi, I'm Deena, and I'm a 28 year old push over.

That was supposed to help. I just had a 32 minute conversation with my beloved step-mom. I was not going to bring the subject up, but then like word vomit in Mean Girls, it just came out. Unlike the prior two interactions with his mom and my aunt... this did NOT go well. I mean it seriously went haywire. She said she is coming. I said no. She asked what would happen if she showed up. I told her security wouldn't escort her out, but she would be the only one there, and that we were having lunch and dinner alone so we would not be feeding her. She kept up saying that we shouldn't get married there, do we HAVE to go there, can we just honeymoon there? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! I told her that no one gives a what we think and this is supposed to be about what we want. We want it there, we can vacation there anytime we want. This goes on and on. So she proceeds to ask if we can eat at Yachtsman and where should she stay This is for reals. We went over room blocks, and fickle people, and contracts, and money and minimums and the bottom line that I don't want people there. Well she must consider herself an alien because she still insists on coming. There are so many words I want to use right now, but I'll probably be kicked off of disboards if I use them, lol. I can't even say them out load because I'm at work, lol. I said I wanted to have a reception when I get home and can't we just do that so more people can be involved?? She then asks if it would be in PA or KY. I said, KY. She then said we should have 2! I feel indifferent because that's a lot more checks, but a lot more hassle. There goes an exploding can of worms. Within seconds, she told me she would find a venue, she knew what food she'd get, that she needed to make a guest list, and that she would be attending both. Well I'm not paying a dime for that one so she's on her own.

Although I told her we were not going to hang out with her, not eat with her, etc etc. She said she'll be there. Now I have to talk my aunt into going with her I guess. Maybe my aunt will talk her out of going?? I am at a loss and gave up arguing. I did say that NO ONE else will even be considered. I don't want this turning into 10, then 15, then 35 people. If this turns to be true, I'll extend the offer to DFs mom with the same conditions. I doubt she'd come. When our conversation ended, she wants me to get prices for her for a room, dining plans, etc.

How did my dream elopement get crushed in 32 minutes?? I mean maybe it won't be awful since I laid it all out there. She said she would be using this as her vacation--so whatevs. And to top it off... as we are talking... Bill responds to my email saying that we can have less than 10 and to send him some of our ideas.

There's way more detail, but I'm so overwhelmed in my head. When I tell DF I doubt he'll be surprised--he knew I'd have trouble with her. I need to go to lunch and go over this in my head. I'll be back later once I get myself together, lol.

 

[lilsqueakrr]

OMG, seriously!? I'd change the date and literally give her all of the wrong information. =] Talk about totally not giving a POOP about what YOU AND DAVE want. Ridiculous. I have anxiety for you. Talk to your aunt. Tell her your situation and what YOU guys want. And maybe she'll be on your side and convince crazy step mommy to get a life. ;D That's just crazy.

And I'm dead serious about giving the wrong information. ;D I'd do that for my own family if they were going against my wishes.

 

[Bewitch324]

Oh my gosh, your step mom sounds like a nightmare to deal with!! On the other hand, it sounds like she forgets everything you tell her five minutes later, so I would just ignore her for right now, don't provide the information she wants you to research for her (if she wants to go that bad, let her exert some freaking effort!!!) and stick to your guns. It sounds like she doesn't listen, but you've got 16 months to get it through her thick skull!! Maddening, but don't let it bring you down!

A lot can happen in a year. Maybe over time, she'll decide she doesn't really want to be there, or that she'll be satisfied with the after party. From what you've described previously, she sounds like someone who changes her mind and gets sidetracked and forgetful anyway....I would just leave her out of the equation for a while and go forward with your planning the way you want and say in 4 -5 months, maybe revisit the topic again. Or not. I just wouldn't share about the wedding. Just don't discuss it with her, it doesn't involve her, it's not about her, it's about you and Dave.

Easier said than done, but you got buy-in from the other two, I don't want to see you backslide on your dream when she has proven herself fickle in the past....

Hang in there, and stay focused on what you want and what is important to you and Dave. Just ignore her craziness for awhile. Maybe the wind will blow and she'll decide your idea is the better one...

Brooke