I love reading about your trips, Deena. They're so interesting!!!
That server at CA Grill sounds like a total witch-with-a-b!! I've actually never been to CA Grill (DF and I are poor college students
), but it's on my list for our honeymoon. You're not the first one who has reported an "ehhhhhh" time there though!
As for wedding stuff, I don't think it's lame at ALL to get married in the WP if there are no guests! It's YOUR wedding and it's what YOU want--- and I do think you should tell your family that too. Who cares if they get annoyed; they're not paying for it! I really don't think it's selfish, and I think this should be something they realize. Have a party at home after you get married, and call it a day. But, well, I hate most people, so maybe I'm a cynic.
Can't wait to hear more!
Aw girlie. *hugs* As far as the wedding thing goes, I totally hear what you're saying. Our honeymoon is in St Lucia at a Sandals resort and we get a free wedding with our stay if we choose to use it. I've been tempted numerous times to just say f' it and go there and get married. But my mother? She would crucify me. ha. So I'm not dealing with that.
But in your case, I'd almost say do it? What if you were to do the wedding in Jamaica or where-ever and then have a second part to your honeymoon in Disney? I know the mouse won't be there.. which trust me.. It totally relate to! I'm up in Jersey trying to figure out a way to get them there! ha. But Dave and I compromised and said we'll do a vow renewal down in Disney with maybe 50 people and hopefully get the mouse or just walk around til we find them while we're dressed! ha (chef mickey's in full bridal gown here we come!) If you were to do this it'd save you money and then you'd have something a little less stress-ful because it won't be the 'real deal' down in Disney and you can tell both families here's the deal.. 50 people max. First to reserve rooms are able to come.. if not.. see ya later! You can come to Disney but we'll meet you in the parks! lol.
I hope you guys get to talk and figure things out girlie! <3
Glad your back, safe and with more ideas in your head! I just caught up on all the updates.....waiting for pictures, LOL!!)
Can't wait to see pics!
That stinks about California Grill. But it makes me feel a little better about not being about to book our wedding dinner there.
And I LOVE the grey goose slushi. I'm dying for one after reading this!
No way is it lame to be married at the WP without guests. I'd do it.
What about a
DCL wedding? You could wear your dress on the ship and get pictures with the mice and its a little bit more of an elopement than an Escape/Wishes. If you don't want guests, don't feel bad about it. Believe me, once you start inviting people your guest list will keep getting bigger. Our's does (why am I considering inviting my 3 cousins who I've only seen a handful of times in my life? b/c weddings make people crazy). I also don't think its weird for you two to be in the wedding pavillion alone...its actually kind of romantic. If people don't like it, then maybe have a get together at home afterwards. You could do a slideshow of pictures from the wedding.
Thanks for all the feedback!! I'm still waking up so my words may be a little blurred. I really agree with Wendy saying that weddings make people crazy--because they certainly do. I thought if I had a wedding 2+ years out that I'd have time to gather my thoughts and make it nice and calm--well that's obviously not happening. Last night when Dave got home, I locked him down and said I needed 30 minutes of his time. He kind of got mad because I've been telling him that decision day is coming and he's been avoiding it. He doesn't want to talk about it because he knows ultimately I hold the cards... and the wallet. What he doesn't understand is that I DO want him involved.
So here's how things went:
I asked him, if he had it his way... where would he get married. He said I dunno. Clearly we're off to a great start. He told me to just do what I want. I asked him if he wanted to do Disney, Aulani, Jamaica, a Cruise, Justice of the Peace?? He said that I'd be bored at Jamaica because I don't swim with fish. I dunno what that has to do with anything... they have a spa there right?? I'd like to give a Sandals/Beaches/Breezes resort a try sometime... maybe just not for my wedding. Plus the problem with Jamaica, etc and Aulani is the cost of the flight!! We could have several add ons at Disney for the difference in the cost of the flights. He said he wanted to do something that had meaning for us... which was his backwards way of saying Disney. We're finally getting somewhere.
So I said that Disney has 3 offers. Memories (thru April 2012), Escape or Wishes. I laid them out like this:
Memories: You can wear shorts, I'll wear a cheap dress and Toms Glitters, We'll be on the beach and we'll only stay like 4 days and honeymoon later. This would probably take place this November because I can't take time off in the holidays and I don't want to get into POP Warner or Spring Break in 2012.
Escape: This will be just us. Although you can have a few guests... it will be just us. We'll pay for cake and floral upgrades, a bit of decor, but not as much since there's no guests. We'll stay for 10 days, do some tours, etc... eat awesome food, hit MNNSHP,
MVMCP and Food/Wine. We'll add Misty for 4-6 hours (hopefully). This will take place in the Wedding Pavilion or Sunset Pointe. We will have Mickey and Minnie and a Petal Cannon. We're leaving the MK Shoot up in the air with a probable no.. but still maybe. Hopefully that will be the best $500 picture in history
With the cost of every last thing down to the rent-a-car, new vacation clothes and toiletries, and a basin white budget we're looking at 25,000-27,000 for the Wedding and the 10 day vacation. I would like to see that number be more like 20,000... but we'll see. There's also no room block to mess with.
Wishes: This will be if we invite people. Wedding Pavilion and Summerhouse with Lounge Theming and Violinist. Heavy calla lilly theming in the WP and Reception, awesome aisle runner, favors, invites, sweet swarovski crystal cake, bouts and corsages for family, welcome bags, rehearsal dinner, memorial set up, Mickey and Minnie, petal cannon, 10 trip with tours, etc (like above). This is looking between 37,000 and 40,000. It's pretty much going to cost 12,000 to invite guests.
So our discussion was a rambling of something like this.
Him: I'll go to the Justice of the Peace tomorrow.
Me: Then why don't we do Memories in November.
Him: Because I want to get married next year-this year is too soon.
Me: (emotional mess) Why don't you want to marry me this year?
Him: Because I said 2013 and you already pushed me to 2012.
Me: answer me
Him: Because I said
I continue to go on questioning his love for me and if he's just stringing me along, and I'm about ready to put a deposit down and he doesn't really wanna do this, etc etc etc.... this went on for a few minutes and I may have cried
So Memories is out. We're down to Escape or Wishes.
So I reset the conversation and pulled it together.
I asked if he wanted to invite guests.
He said he'd like to have his mom there
I told him that if he asked her, he had to ask his brother, then she'll want him to invite the grandparents and the aunts and the 15 cousins, and he still had friends he wanted to invite.
Then there's me where my stepmom is insisting on coming, my aunt doesn't really want to fly or travel, my step-uncle who rules the roost with accomodations ($) doesn't want to stay onsite, I have a step-aunt and cousin that I haven't seen in over 15 years that live in Ft. Lauderdale that will need to be invited, and there's a total of 10-15 of my side. Plus maybe some friends.
So my response to this was that it wouldn't be as easy as just inviting parents. His mom hasn't even asked about the wedding since November--not one word. I asked if he thought his mom would want to be with us 24/7 and he said yes. The world revolves around her, and she finds an issue with EVERYTHING. If you got her a $100,000 red sports car, she would tell you that she prefers more of a cherry color than a crimson. My stepmom will want to be with us too, and we already know about that. What kind of Honeymoon is that??
He told me I already answered all my own questions that I need to do what I want to do.
I told him if it was that important to him to have guests that we'd figure it out, but 12,000 to be aggrevated is a lot of money and that could be our DVC initial buy in. We both tend to act different around our families too. We aren't ourselves and when we get married, don't we want to be ourselves and not have to act differently to coddle our parents??
But then here's the other issue I'm nervous about. I lose my 16/12 month booking window. I didn't want to book vendors till I had a contract, but that puts me into 2012 when vendor prices will rise. As long as I'm flexible with times and between those 2 locations... do you think I'll be okay at 8 months?? It's a Monday
The way I'm figuring it is that if things change in the interim, we can always bump up to Wishes, whereas we can't bump down to Escape. I'm I thinking right?? Plus you CAN have guests at Escape, we're just currently choosing not to. This may be a way to cap things from getting out of control, but I really just want to go alone. I just know if I end up with a reception I will insist on being Wishes for the Planning Session. I know my brain.
We're still planning on a November trip, but if we're Escape, then we'll be skipping next May. It was just too hot and we were truly miserable in the humidity. This will save $$.
So feedback is welcome. Lots of it. I can't get the feeling of being selfish out of my head, but then I look at my work schedule and feel like I'm going to work harder and harder to have the Wishes wedding and no one will appreciate it. As a reminder... this wedding is being paid for with cash out of MY pocket. We are in debt consolidation and have no access to any types of credit until 2013. It's not as easy as throwing it on the card and figuring it out later. We most likely will not see any help from our families if we don't invite them--but we'd still be coming out ahead. I think I'd like to send announcements out afterwards. We really don't want an at home reception either--the DJ, dancing, speeches.... just not us or our friends and family. I feel like we're more apt to dance with Mickey and Minnie and have a good time, then if our families were there only looking to make fun of us and our type of fun.
Ugh... I just can't help to think that it wouldn't be this way if my father were alive. He was the life of the party and there would be no struggle to make decisions like this. He would make sure I was the center of attention and put everyone who stepped in my way in their place. He would make sure that my family helped me financially as well. I just can't explain how excrutiating it is to being so important and loved by someone in your family, then that person is just gone. I just feel like since he's gone, the rest of my family is so disconnected from me. If I feel like this... why it is so important to please them?? Maybe because I'm trying to get their approval or love back?? Why should it cost $12000 to do that??
So who thinks I have the strength not to book my dream wedding in 7 weeks?? Lol. That's what makes me nervous. I'm so impulsive that I'm scared I'm just going to book it. I really think the Escape is what we should do at this point, but I need your support to help me not act like a crazy bride!! Being 17 1/2 months out, I of course still have time to change my mind.... AGAIN.... but I'm wondering what you think of my current plan.
Okay.... one more thought before I leave: Do you think any couple that went by themselves were Wishes?? If we do an early wedding it would only be a 10,000 minimum. Do you think anyone has had a reception/private meal at a venue?? Would that be cool?? Or should we just take the Escape limo to Shula's and call it a day?? If we did my budgeted decor through Disney and decided on the MK Photoshoot.... we're looking at 9700--but remember it's November and there's no telling if they'll let us do the shoot or not--or it we even decide we want to do it. I dunno what the breakdown would be if I paid for those things separately. Just another idea to kick around.
Please help put this mess in perspective for me. My thoughts are so scattered that I need someone to bring me back down to reality. And you girls are the best to do it!! I started uploading the pix to photobucket last night, but never finished because we started wedding talking. They should be up soon!! I'm going to go over a few numbers today and see what I can come up with!! Thanks ladies!!
about that by the way), but I just didn't think it was worth it. Oh well! Can't wait to hear more 
Just a little happy note there for you! 
