Lost my daughter to suicide

Dan Murphy

We are family.
Apr 20, 2000
Although I never did thank everyone, please know I read each comment, and do appreciate it very much, so Thank you,
Here I lie sleepless. Monday my daughter would be turning 22, although restrictions are in place, no doubt we would be certainly celebrating. My child loved her Birthday more than anyone. I just can’t believe it’s the 4th one without her. I look at all these pictures, I never ever dreamt they would be the last ones.
Please take pictures, make memories.
Good thoughts remain with you, mommasita. :hug:'s
  • Grand Koalafornian

    Oct 25, 2014
    I’m newish here, so I’m late to the game. I’m so sorry for your loss. I know far too many parents who have lost children, including my own parents and grandparents. It’s not something anyone should have to experience.

    I lost my little sister over a decade ago and my father last December. It’s not the same thing at all, of course, but I hope it helps to know that you’re not alone in grieving.

    I know that it’s pretty much a cliche by now, but I love the quote from WandaVision “what is grief, if not love persevering relationship?” I don’t know if helps you at all, but I find it comforting when I’m at my lowest.

    Sending hugs and prayers your way.
  • supamaki

    Drinkin' around the world!
    Jan 10, 2001
    my daughter chose to end her life by hanging in our home, my husband and son (21) found her. She was my baby, and only 18. It's only been one month

    her ex bf had done the same two weeks earlier , and his sister blamed her, as she had a new bf.

    We are really broken and trying to survive . Last year I lost both my mom and stepdad in 5 days, but this is something no parent should face. I wish for nobody to have this pain.
    Please keep us in whatever you do, thoughts and/or prayers
    I know that words must feel empty now, but I'm going to share some of mne anyway, however meaningless they are.
    First it's not your fault. It's NOT your fault. When someone chooses to end their life, the chances that anyone can stop them is minuscule. I know there's title comfort in that, but there might be some. Her brain was telling her to do something that someone without depression cannot understand. It's a constant and everyday struggle and sometimes you lose the fight.

    Grief is another insipid bedfellow, but I'm here to tell you that it feels like you're drowning and waves and waves of grief just wash over you and won't let you breathe. You can't get up for air and you're just drowning. But at some point you're gonna notice that there's a little break in the waves crashing over you and you can grab a breath. And then another. And even though the grief is hitting you from all sides you can stand it.
    There will be times that a wave catches you off guard and you feel like you're drowning again and that's normal. But eventually you're gonna see the waves coming and you can prepare for them, birthday's holiday's trips to places you both shared. The waves never leave, but the time between them lengthens and you can breathe.

    I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope that someday you can escape some of your grief and be only left with the cherished memories of the loved and lost.