Pea-n-Me
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2004
- Messages
- 41,316
We’ve talked on another thread, but I’ll mention here that Snowysmom also lost a very beloved pet this summer. 
I’m so glad you posted here @Snowysmom. This thread will stick around for a long time and not get lost like it would on the CB. Posters here tend to be really understanding and kind. I know when I had a major loss in my life it was hard to feel like the world went on when mine was falling apart. On some threads it might feel tough hearing about others having fun and doing things while you’re saddled with so much such sadness right now. So this was a good move, I think.
What you lived through was a trauma. Waking up to find your spouse gone is understandably something that will always be hard to think about. I can’t imagine. Sudden deaths are always hard, but what happened with you and your DH, I’m sure, will feel a little unsettling for a long time. Finding others to talk about it with may be helpful. Especially others who’ve lived through a similar trauma. There are so many sad stories out there.
Once you move a little past the trauma (not saying you can ever “get over it”), and get through some of the busywork that sits before you, hopefully remembering the good times will become more prevalent, and you can begin to think about ways you will move forward with your life, the way your DH surely would’ve wanted you to. Think of it as carrying on for both of you.
You will play a big part in helping keep his memory alive for your kids and grandkids, and they will feel fortunate to still have you, even more.
Your sons sound like lovely young men. This is a testament to you and your husband. Take the time you need and try not to feel like a burden. You’re all going through a shared experience and there’s nothing wrong with being together. As I said before, one day at a time. You’ll move through the stages of grief as time goes on. The way you feel today is not the way you’ll feel forever. So hang in there. And know so many of us care.
I’m so glad you posted here @Snowysmom. This thread will stick around for a long time and not get lost like it would on the CB. Posters here tend to be really understanding and kind. I know when I had a major loss in my life it was hard to feel like the world went on when mine was falling apart. On some threads it might feel tough hearing about others having fun and doing things while you’re saddled with so much such sadness right now. So this was a good move, I think.
What you lived through was a trauma. Waking up to find your spouse gone is understandably something that will always be hard to think about. I can’t imagine. Sudden deaths are always hard, but what happened with you and your DH, I’m sure, will feel a little unsettling for a long time. Finding others to talk about it with may be helpful. Especially others who’ve lived through a similar trauma. There are so many sad stories out there.
Once you move a little past the trauma (not saying you can ever “get over it”), and get through some of the busywork that sits before you, hopefully remembering the good times will become more prevalent, and you can begin to think about ways you will move forward with your life, the way your DH surely would’ve wanted you to. Think of it as carrying on for both of you.
You will play a big part in helping keep his memory alive for your kids and grandkids, and they will feel fortunate to still have you, even more.Your sons sound like lovely young men. This is a testament to you and your husband. Take the time you need and try not to feel like a burden. You’re all going through a shared experience and there’s nothing wrong with being together. As I said before, one day at a time. You’ll move through the stages of grief as time goes on. The way you feel today is not the way you’ll feel forever. So hang in there. And know so many of us care.
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