Looking for handouts?

[Feralpeg]

I have sent things to people from these boards in the past. In these cases, something about their story touched my heart. I sent what I sent because it made me feel good. I did not follow up with the people, nor did I want to know if they were legit. I gave because I wanted to. If it turned out that the people scammed me, so be it. Some day, people who do such a thing will have to atone for their actions to a higher power. I know that I have done what I feel is the right thing. That is all that really matters to me. I'll probably do it again in the future if I hear the right story. I'm just glad I am able to help out and, hopefully, help someone in need. Some might say I am naive. I prefer to think of myself as a positive person. I like to give others the benefit of the doubt.

 

[MELSMICE]

I found the thread, but it must be closed. I couldn't open it. But like I said before. . .I hope these types of things don't make people too cynical. There really are people that need help. Choose wisely. .. but keep giving.

Looks like it went poof!

 

[browneyes106]

I'll have to find that thread. . .cause yeah. . .I wouldn't have ever felt comfortable telling strangers that my kid was entitled to a band trip. . .. That's nuts! He's old enough to get a job at McDonald's. Now if he wants help filling out the application, I would be more than willing to help out.

If that's the attitude. . .I really deserve to go to Italy. I've never been and would LOVE to go. . .so DISers. . .don't you feel sorry for me? Italy here I come.

I have gone through periods in my life were I have felt entitled to things but later on I realized the more important things in life and how we can't always everything want or sometimes need. I think a lot of parents sometimes love and appreaciate their children that they may sometimes say stuff like that poster did but sometimes in life not everything can be handed over just because a kid did well in school.

As I mentioned before the 16 year old son should be at the point were he is understanding that life is hard and he needs to get some sense of managing finances and how you sometimes can't always afford everything you want. Since this a DIS board the poster and her family have taken vacations before and I noticed she joined the board in 2003. It's not like her son has never had a trip or vacation before.

I had a friend in college who won a trip to Atlantic City and Philly in a campus contest and she had never gone away on a trip. She was 22 and it was her first time traveling out of state. Her parents weren't extremely poor but they owned a hardware store in economically depressed town so they never had extra money to go on vacations. My friend was very happy when she won the trip and I felt she deserved to have some fun somewhere else for a week. That poster shouldn't be making a big deal out of her son not being able to go to NYC. Some families even with two working parents can't afford a lot of extras and they and their kids just deal with they have and they try to enjoy life the best they can.

 

[LovableGluttons]

I would think after over two years, she would not continue to need support from other people out there. Two years? Not having the money to send kids on expensive band trips is something someone needs internet shoulders to cry on?

It has been years since her husband's income dropped, aren't the kids aware by now that their lifestyle has changed?

Grounded, well adjusted people would not still be looking for support, they would have moved on with their lives.

B Whether she read looking for cash our someone to commiserate with her, who really knows? In light of these economic times, her story is not unique.

My neighbor lost his job over two years ago and had not been able to find another. His wife is a very large woman who was able secure some low paying at home customer service telephone position. This poor woman is so large, I doubt there is anything she could do outside the home. Her pay isn't enough to keep them afloat, so they stopped paying their mortgage two years ago. She wants to have children, but cannot conceive due to her weight and finances. The mortgage company is letting them stay in the home rather than abandon it.

With the poster on the Budget Board, you don't get the feeling that all of this was a learning opportunity. Instead of being proud that she had developed a new lifestyle and learned from her mistakes.

Very sad. This woman had five children and is teaching them the same things.

My neighbors made some poor choices too and will likely end up childless and living with relatives, forget band trips. I have never heard them utter a word that sounds like they feel sorry for themselves and the things they don't have. They speak of the things they have learned along the way.

 

[snowywhite89]

I would think after over two years, she would not continue to need support from other people out there. Two years? Not having the money to send kids on expensive band trips is something someone needs internet shoulders to cry on?

It has been years since her husband's income dropped, aren't the kids aware by now that their lifestyle has changed?

Grounded, well adjusted people would not still be looking for support, they would have moved on with their lives.

snip

With the poster on the Budget Board, you don't get the feeling that all of this was a learning opportunity. Instead of being proud that she had developed a new lifestyle and learned from her mistakes.

Very sad. This woman had five children and is teaching them the same things.

snip

ITA

That poster just complains about all the stuff that others won't do for her - reduce her CC balances, give them food stamps, can't do a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, can't do band trips and on and on.

She talks about losing the house but wants a Kinect for the boys for Christmas. Priorities are out of whack.

 

[MELSMICE]

ITA

That poster just complains about all the stuff that others won't do for her - reduce her CC balances, give them food stamps, can't do a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, can't do band trips and on and on.

She talks about losing the house but wants a Kinect for the boys for Christmas. Priorities are out of whack.

What's a Kinect?

 

[agnes!]

What's a Kinect?

Something expensive that I don't have
Actually, it's a game system similar to the Wii but made by Microsoft (I think).

agnes!

 

[Octoberbride03]

What's a Kinect?

A newfangled XBOX thing. Its an expensive gift.

Tried the link for the other thread but didn't get there in time. I got a clue to the poster the PSAT waiver though. I really hadn't followed her threads that much. Some people have no shame at all

As for me I usually donate through my church only. It often partners with other local churches to distribute food and gifts. I feel like my money is well spent that way.
Not sure how much donating I'll be able to do this year because money is tight here too. But we can still pay our bills and buy groceries so I don't need any handouts. And I won't be asking for any. Hopefully a couple of changes we made this past month will help us save some more money. But I don't go asking here.

 

[talulabelle]

I'll have to find that thread. . .cause yeah. . .I wouldn't have ever felt comfortable telling strangers that my kid was entitled to a band trip. . .. That's nuts! He's old enough to get a job at McDonald's. Now if he wants help filling out the application, I would be more than willing to help out.

If that's the attitude. . .I really deserve to go to Italy. I've never been and would LOVE to go. . .so DISers. . .don't you feel sorry for me? Italy here I come.

Yes - and I deserve a trip to Italy too! Because, well, all my friends are going, so I must deserve it too. I really want it, and actually deserve it because I feel so sorry for myself that I couldn't participate in all of those great Black Fri. deals! and THEN I had to live through Cyber-Monday. and I didn't get to spend money that day either. and things were on sale so it was practically like they were going to give me something. BTW -speaking of giving me something - if anyone here wants to pay for my daughters next field trip - I'd appreciate it - because I need to save my money for my sons Kinnect for Christmas. They really deserve that too - because they are gifted! un-employeed, but gifted!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What's a Kinect?

It is a 150 dollar addition to the XBOX which makes it like the Wii with the motion sensor.

In other words something I am not getting for Christmas and pure disgust that the poster would even think that her kids should get this.

Heck they should be selling their gaming systems and games. I am sure that would fund the teenagers band trip.

 

[tnmt]

My son has a once in a lifetime field trip coming up with his class this spring to Washington DC but guess what.... we don't have the money so he gets to stay home. I want to mention I do have a paypal account too. He would really love to go but we are not even working 40 hours a week here and we just can't swing it. Seriously, his class is going but I would never hint for someone to furnish his trip for him. The poster didn't really come right out and ask for anything but you definitely can read between the lines in her posts.

 

[sarah4770]

This is not particularly in reference to the poster in question, but I have a hard time when i hear someone mentioning, "but I have kids" in addition to their story.
When my kids were young, as a single mom, I really did not have time for message boards. I was too busy working and taking care of the kids. And that is the way it should be. right?
I just don't get all these mom's who decided to tell their story to the world...... As a PP said... something about needing help, and not asking for it.
that's how I was.My kids prob DID qualify for free lunch... but i wasn't about to announce that to the whole world.

 

[Art 1]

This is not particularly in reference to the poster in question, but I have a hard time when i hear someone mentioning, "but I have kids" in addition to their story.
When my kids were young, as a single mom, I really did not have time for message boards. I was too busy working and taking care of the kids. And that is the way it should be. right?
I just don't get all these mom's who decided to tell their story to the world...... As a PP said... something about needing help, and not asking for it.
that's how I was.My kids prob DID qualify for free lunch... but i wasn't about to announce that to the whole world.

I agree with you. People today in the USA think they deserve it all and that it should magically appear. My widowed immigrant grandmother raised 4 children on housekeepers wagers many many years ago. There was no welfare at that time. You worked, and you didn't get sick, you worked through it. Two of her 4 got educated at Carnegie Mellon, another at MIT. It can be done people, get off the welfare and work.

 

[mhsjax]

My son has a once in a lifetime field trip coming up with his class this spring to Washington DC but guess what.... we don't have the money so he gets to stay home. I want to mention I do have a paypal account too. He would really love to go but we are not even working 40 hours a week here and we just can't swing it. Seriously, his class is going but I would never hint for someone to furnish his trip for him. The poster didn't really come right out and ask for anything but you definitely can read between the lines in her posts.

Funny you should mention that. I posted not too long ago asking about what DS should wear to Washington DC, we live in FL so I don't understand that kind of cold. Anyway, about 1 week after that, some emergenices came up and we told DS that it would be really hard for us to send him, but we could it would just cut into everyones Christmas, He said no problem what so ever, he would cancel, not a pout, not a dirty look, nothing.

We told him we would all go not this summer but next so we have plenty of time to save and that he can plan most of it.

DS is only 13, and he can handle this disappointment. I think some parents, like this pp that everyone is talking about,are raising really spoiled little you know whats.

We just informed all of ours that with their allowance (they get a pretty good one so they can learn money management) they will now have to use some of that to buy their own clothes, and I mean school clothes not play stuff, this includes our youngest who is 9. They were fine with that. Kids just have to learn that they don't always get what they want or what their friends have.

 

[mhsjax]

I agree with you. People today in the USA think they deserve it all and that it should magically appear. My widowed immigrant grandmother raised 4 children on housekeepers wagers many many years ago. There was no welfare at that time. You worked, and you didn't get sick, you worked through it. Two of her 4 got educated at Carnegie Mellon, another at MIT. It can be done people, get off the welfare and work.

Wow, a little under educated don't you think. Good for your grandmother.