Looking for handouts?

[phamton]

I did donate once to a single mother who posted about not having money for Thanksgiving dinner. It may or may not have been a scam but since she was local and I could deliver it, then I took her a frozen turkey. My reason was this: I had 4 frozen turkeys all of which was free to me. We had been given the turkeys from Universal Studios as a gift to team members. Four members of my family were working there either full-time or seasonal at the time and I had plenty to share. I threw in an extra $20 to buy the rest of the turkey dinner but only because I wanted to. If I got scammed, it was fine because I knew my heart was in the right place. I didn't need the turkey or the money when I gave it.

 

[DisneyBeagle]

Now I have to visit the budget board

Me too. I didn't have any specific thread in mind when I started this thread, but it can't hurt to look.

 

[ready123go]

Can you tell I took a half a day off??

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2603482

 

[LovableGluttons]

Can you tell I took a half a day off??

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2603482

Those threads get me! I have to close them immediately. If not I'll end up posting "Get a clue! You cannot afford to stay home any longer. Get off the computer and get a job"!

Since people don't usually post things like that because they want reality, I just move on.

I just give local as well.

Too many convenient sob stories on the internet muddy any that might be legitimate.

 

[snowywhite89]

The budget board person seems to be begging again. I guess another AG doll needs to arrive this year.

 

[DVCLiz]

If I saw a post from someone I had "known" online for some time and they said, "We are having a really hard time this year. If you want to donate, our church (at XYZ address and phone number of legitimate contact person) would be glad to accept your donation", I might very well send a check to help someone's kids have a nice Christmas. But I'll never send to an individual - I'd rather put that money in the local Toys for Tots program and know it went for the intended purpose.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

I got that vibe from that thread too. Someone should link this thread over there.

 

[MELSMICE]

Now I have to visit the budget board

Me too!

 

[pixiewings71]

I received a 100% anonymous donation once, I never found out who it was but I still have the card that they sent. We had a major house fire almost 5 years ago now (it will be 5 years as of New Year's Day at 3 am), we lost basically everything. I posted about it on a couple of boards I went to regularly (closed groups, very close knit or so I thought) and some friends there sent us stuff to help us until we got money from insurance. I offered to reimburse them for shipping and to pay for what we got when we did get a check from ins. but they all said no. I received a card signed simply "from someone who cares" with a beautiful sentiment inside and a Target gift card for $200. I asked everyone who might have sent it and no one knew, I was hesitant to use it because I felt I shouldn't accept it but we needed to buy shoes, coats, clothes, toothbrushes, hairbrushes....all the things you take for granted we had to replace so we did use it. I still read that card from time to time when I'm feeling down, I hope that person knows how greatly and how deeply we appreciated her assistance at that time in our lives.
I do read the hardship posts and I've sent $$ the few times I could do so but with me not working right now our Christmas (and DD10's bday (12-15) and DBF's bday (1-7) have been hard enough so this year we are keeping our $$ close to our own hearts. Makes me sad to not be able to help others but I have to take care of my family first and there are other ways to help people.

 

[krcit]

I received a 100% anonymous donation once, I never found out who it was but I still have the card that they sent. We had a major house fire almost 5 years ago now (it will be 5 years as of New Year's Day at 3 am), we lost basically everything. I posted about it on a couple of boards I went to regularly (closed groups, very close knit or so I thought) and some friends there sent us stuff to help us until we got money from insurance. I offered to reimburse them for shipping and to pay for what we got when we did get a check from ins. but they all said no. I received a card signed simply "from someone who cares" with a beautiful sentiment inside and a Target gift card for $200. I asked everyone who might have sent it and no one knew, I was hesitant to use it because I felt I shouldn't accept it but we needed to buy shoes, coats, clothes, toothbrushes, hairbrushes....all the things you take for granted we had to replace so we did use it. I still read that card from time to time when I'm feeling down, I hope that person knows how greatly and how deeply we appreciated her assistance at that time in our lives.
I do read the hardship posts and I've sent $$ the few times I could do so but with me not working right now our Christmas (and DD10's bday (12-15) and DBF's bday (1-7) have been hard enough so this year we are keeping our $$ close to our own hearts. Makes me sad to not be able to help others but I have to take care of my family first and there are other ways to help people.

A family one block over just had a fire and lost everything. I don't know them but sent money into school(the school collected) and also sent over clothes for the older boys. I'm sure that the person who helped you was happy to do it and you were genuinely in need. I think the posters here are talking about people looking for hand-out because they can't afford to give their kids the same kind of Christmas' they are used to. Who can?? I don't understand why someone would post all their financial troubles to virtual strangers. It's one thing to mention in passing like 'oh this year will be tight.' but the details that some people post are weird and you can't help but think they are looking for hand-outs.

 

[Hannathy]

What got me with that particular post is she states her DH lost his "exclusive executive" position only 18 months ago and is back to work. Well if it was so exclusive a position maybe you should have saved some and not lived so high on the hog cause if it was that good of a job you should be able to live for a year without begging. My DH was out longer than 18 months and not from an exclusive executive position and we made it without begging on the internet.
I also wonder if they have sold their cars and downsized or do they both still have cars to go with the title? There are also 3 teenagers in the family who could be working. The kids also get free lunch and he is back to work so why can't they afford some Christmas? And if getting free lunch probably are getting food stamps. Sell some of the stuff his salary must have went to buy before.

She only has 1 little one to keep up Santa with although she claims the 12 yr old believes, yeah right, and if she does , guess what it is time for her not to if needed. but even then she can buy stuff for an 8 year old to believe in Santa in what 1 teen would earn for a night of babysitting!

Many of these sob stories are of their own making and not from a disaster like the fire in another posters post. Disasters I feel for the people and will try to help.

 

[C.Ann]

I can think of several people on the DIS - right off the top of my head - that I would help out if they needed anything - without even giving it a second thought.. Never met them in person - never in talked to them on the phone, but it doesn't matter..

Anyone else, it would be a case-by-case basis.. Let's face it, if I got ripped off, I would much rather it be a stranger, than a family member.. When I give to a family member, I make sure I do it without any expectations of repayment - ever..

I try very hard not to be cynical when it comes to someone in need.. It's not like I have millions to give away anyhow.. LOL.. But if I believe a person is being honest, I would much rather end up being burned than wonder endlessly if I turned my back on someone when they needed me..

Definitely a very personal decision..

 

[goofyernmost]

A family one block over just had a fire and lost everything. I don't know them but sent money into school(the school collected) and also sent over clothes for the older boys. I'm sure that the person who helped you was happy to do it and you were genuinely in need. I think the posters here are talking about people looking for hand-out because they can't afford to give their kids the same kind of Christmas' they are used to. Who can?? I don't understand why someone would post all their financial troubles to virtual strangers. It's one thing to mention in passing like 'oh this year will be tight.' but the details that some people post are weird and you can't help but think they are looking for hand-outs.

That kind of thing happened at my workplace. An employee had a fire in his apartment. We took up a collection, figuring he must really need the cash. The next week he went on a cruise and won $10,000.00 in the casino (presumably with our money). He did say thank you but never offered to return the donation. Made me a little cynical about the whole process.

 

[jaminmd]

I got the same vibe from that thread.

No way am I donating to anyone over the DIS or most message boards (I'm on one message board where I have personally met a good proportion of the posters - there I'd likely donate).

Me, too. I think that's what some of the other posters were trying to get to when they responded to her threads. Glad I wasn't alone in my thinking. she just kept going on & on about it...

 

[DawnM]

Sometimes we have to bite the bullet and say NO to our kids. It isn't fun, but I think they learn valuable lessons from it. Our kids will survive without the latest and greatest toy or whatever.

We had some dear friends who took in a woman and her 3 kids for almost a year out of the goodness of their hearts.

The church stepped up and offered to buy the woman and her 3 kids Christmas gifts.....well, turns out the church went quite overboard and the woman and her kids got way more than the person hosting her could afford for her kids. It was rough.

Dawn

Me, too. I think that's what some of the other posters were trying to get to when they responded to her threads. Glad I wasn't alone in my thinking. she just kept going on & on about it...

 

[SaraJayne]

People need to learn to use different usernames on different boards. lol

Otherwise, googling your username will uncover all kinds of info you probably don't want people to know.

 

[MushyMushy]

I would probably reach out and help someone who's been around the boards a long time and I recognize their name, but I'm with others who say they never really see anybody with a hand out.

I was helped out once immensely by internet friends. So I'd definitely pay it forward if i saw someone in need.

 

[leight]

Although I try to keep most of my charity close to home in my community, I did react to posts on a board I used to read about 7 yrs ago. It was a board for trying to concieve or talk about your child's milestones in the first few years. There was also a section devoted to adoptions. I read journal entries from a young woman who chose to adopt rather than have infertility treatments. She and her equally young husband (mid twenties- I was about 35) decided to adopt a sibling group from their county.The two siblings were about 12 &14 or so. I was so impressed by how they were trying create their family on a limited income and had bypassed requesting infants so that they could immediately help these needy children that I emailed her requesting sizes and some choices of the kids xmas requests. I sent a package along with a walmart gift card for $50 to help with their xmas. It felt great. I was pretty sure that they were for real, but I can't guarantee it. She posted about an anonymous santa and they all emailed their thanks. I think fondly of that christmas and hope that it helped make them feel more like a family that first year.

Things are really tight for us this year again so we told the kids that we would again have a small budget. I used the Kmart toy coupon to buy 5-6 toys at low prices to put towards toys for tots donations as the schools collect and so does my job. I bought extra items when shopping with coupons to stock up on non perishable food to donate when the school and work collects near the holiday too.

My 10yr old doesn't believe in Santa anymore but still wrote her letter and put prices next to everything with her most wanted items. My 13 yr old just wrote a few things and said I'll be happy with whatever I get. I'm comfortable in having less under the tree knowing that the kids are aware and can accept that we're still lucky. They don't need for anything and while they might not get new DSIs or Ipods- they will get some nice things and we won't go into debt doing it. Hopefully, we'll be able to plan on a real vacation this year by saving rather than using savings to fund emergency trips for family deaths. (we had to cancel two trips this year and the Disney trip was completely budget thru the Give a day promotion) I'm grateful that I can look at what I can give vs what I need to take from society. And I'm grateful my family can hug each other after we open our presents on Xmas morning. That's all I need. If others feel the need to post their life's woes hoping for handouts, I just skip those posts.

 

[browneyes106]

I have donated to a few people/families online that I found about through the Internet. A close friend of mine lived in Alabama a few years ago for a college teaching job. He also did mentoring in addition to teaching and one of the guys he was helping had a younger sister who was severely injured in a car accident. She suffered brain damage and the family had a hard time trying to get additional therapies and rehab. My friend joined a Facebook group set up for the family and he told me about it one time when we were chatting online. I looked at the group and decide mail a donation to them.

Years ago I used to post on a screenwriting forum and there a member there whose wife was suffering from cancer and he had a caringbrige site for her and they collected donations to help cover some of the copay that the family was having trouble covering.

Last spring through another online message board I found about a mother and daughter who were scamming people through the Internet by claiming that they were wrongly evicted from their apartment and they made other accusations about a church and other non-profit organizations.

As for the threads on the budget board I have noticed them and I do sometimes question things. I wouldn't donate to anyone online unless they were undergoing a medical crisis or lost their home or items through disaster.

 

[C.Ann]

As for the threads on the budget board I have noticed them and I do sometimes question things.

When I first read that thread on the BB (that someone linked here on the CB) I have to admit that shortly into it, something didn't set quite right with me.. As I said earlier, I don't like to be cynical - but that particular thread is shooting all sorts of "red flags" at me..

Having said that, I think the only threads I have read that seem to be of the "hand out" nature on the DIS have been on the BB, Disney With Families, and Themes & Attractions boards.. I can't recall ever reading one on the CB - unless I missed it or just don't remember it..

I still prefer to be "less" cynical than "more"..