Life Expected

[RangerPooh]

Life has been full of ups and downs, some for the good others not so much. When I was in college I envisioned a career in forestry/fire prevention, staying on the west coast but relocating wherever the job took me. Instead hiccups in life lead to a complete career change and I now reside in the southeast. I try to keep the mindset that life is an adventure and have worked to instill that in my kids.

Would I have preferred to have stayed the course that I set early in my adult life? Possibly, but if I had I don;t think that I would have had the life of experiences that I have had.

 

[The Foolish Mortal]

I expected to own a large ranch, guarded by an army of dogs that ran and barked in unison. So yeah, life worked out exactly as I expected

 

[disneychrista]

I had I don;t think that I would have had the life of experiences that I have had.

I am all about life experiences.

Even though there are things I wish were different or would have done differently I know that everything I have gone through (good & bad) has made me the person I am. I don't regret any choices I have made.

 

[Klayfish]

But at age 62, looking back, I do find it amazing how what were insignificant choices at the time, had such huge impacts on where I am today.

Sure, I think that's true for everyone. Which is why I never worry about those types of things, as you never know what decision you make will lead to what. I don't believe in any religion, or fate or anything like that, so to me it's all just about a sequence of events that happen through circumstance and decision making. I met DW through what was really a very insignificant choice I had made. Had I made a spur of the moment choice to go another direction, my life would have been wildly different. But that's how the cookie crumbles, as they say.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

My life has pretty much gone according to expectations. College, career, marriage, no kids. Some bumps along the way like a first failed marriage and some other mistakes, but I'm satisfied and grateful how my life has turned out. I'm fully aware I've always had privileges and opportunities others haven't.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

Nope, not where I expected to be. Both of my kids ended up having a debilitating genetic disorder and their dad left us after 23 years of marriage to fend for ourselves, so a couple of tough turns. I've met some great people trying to fight my way through this mess, and learned a lot about myself.

I'm still working on getting my kids to a state of independence and I've met a very sweet man. Things are getting better, just slowly.

 

[soccerdad72]

I suppose the answer varies depending on what timeframe you're thinking of. I think few people would be able to envision what their life would be when they were kids or teenagers, but later on in life, you have a little more clarity on what you think your life might turn out to be.

 

[wvjules]

My life has turned out much better than I expected. There is nothing I would change because all of the ups and downs got me to where I am today. I am happy and healthy. I have a great job, a loving partner, a daughter that I couldn't be more proud of, and the cutest, smartest little grandson.

 

[Donaldswife]

That's what she said

Sorry couldn't resist.

But not to him!

 

[Kitty 34]

At my stage in life I simply react to the expected and unexpected whether it be good or bad. I cry; I get mad; I laugh; and I question which I guess would be expected at my age in life.

 

[L&Lfan]

My life is happy but definitely not what I had imagined it would be 40 years ago.
If I had to do it over there are quite a few different choices I would have made.

 

[amcnj]

Naturally there have been detours, unexpected events, pivots and changes.

But that’s what life is!

 

[ronandannette]

My life is happy but definitely not what I had imagined it would be 40 years ago.
If I had to do it over there are quite a few different choices I would have made.

I feel the very same way. We've experienced a number of calamities that while I'm so grateful for the grace of God and the love and support of people, I would wish the events away if I could. I've never really been one who could look back on my heartaches and say "Yeah, I can see good in that".

 

[lovin'fl]

Great question and one I contemplate often.

I think...I hope it's a normal thing to think about every now and again.

 

[Owlpost23]

No way. And, this is the message I'm trying to impart to BOTH of my children, who are in the middle of a lot of "angst" about being "adults" and not really knowing what they want to do in life (they are 20). I've told them I had ZERO clue at their age about how my life would go. I was going to college, taking some classes, and doing "stuff," but I didn't really know what I should "be" in life. I don't even remember worrying about it very much. More that life would unfold as it was meant to unfold. So, I started as a pre-med major, switched to Chemistry, and then on the eve of graduating and going to grad school in Chemistry, I switched, stayed another year as an undergrad and studied mainly philosophy for that year, picking up a second major. I remember at that point struggling with "what to do next" when my philosophy advisor said "have you considered law school?" I'm like: "law school? I've never even met a lawyer before." But, I took the LSAT, did very very well, and figured it was "meant to be." And, the rest is history.

Even how my law career unfolded though, was not pursuant to a plan nor something I could have anticipated. Where I worked and what I did were entirely a surprise to me. A pleasant surprise, but a surprise nonetheless. Then, having children was never a thought in my mind...until suddenly, it became an imperative. LOL. Another pleasant surprise.

Anyway, when you plan, God laughs. I just let life flow over me. It's been a fantastic ride.

 

[Owlpost23]

No way. And, this is the message I'm trying to impart to BOTH of my children, who are in the middle of a lot of "angst" about being "adults" and not really knowing what they want to do in life (they are 20). I've told them I had ZERO clue at their age about how my life would go. I was going to college, taking some classes, and doing "stuff," but I didn't really know what I should "be" in life. I don't even remember worrying about it very much. More that life would unfold as it was meant to unfold. So, I started as a pre-med major, switched to Chemistry, and then on the eve of graduating and going to grad school in Chemistry, I switched, stayed another year as an undergrad and studied mainly philosophy for that year, picking up a second major. I remember at that point struggling with "what to do next" when my philosophy advisor said "have you considered law school?" I'm like: "law school? I've never even met a lawyer before." But, I took the LSAT, did very very well, and figured it was "meant to be." And, the rest is history.

Even how my law career unfolded though, was not pursuant to a plan nor something I could have anticipated. Where I worked and what I did were entirely a surprise to me. A pleasant surprise, but a surprise nonetheless. Then, having children was never a thought in my mind...until suddenly, it became an imperative. LOL. Another pleasant surprise.

Anyway, when you plan, God laughs. I just let life flow over me. It's been a fantastic ride.

So grateful you posted this! My daughter is going through this right now.She's 25,lives at home,has a bacherlor's degree with no college debt,savings in the bank,and still isn't sure of her path in life.I keep telling her you will get there from here,but it's a tough road.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

The only thing I’m disappointed about in my life is my physical condition. I have always been a very active person - hiking, biking, running, beach swimming. But 12 years ago I messed up one of my knees and had to have surgery. Then a couple years later I did the same thing to the other knee and had another surgery. My activity level plummeted; I gained a bunch of weight, and now I have very bad arthritis is both knees. It is getting to the point on my left side that it’s messing up my foot due to the compensation when I walk. I’m walking with a limp now. My kids are worried. And I’m not living the active lifestyle I really want to live. So I’m seeing an ortho in a few weeks to see what my options are. At 53 double knee replacement is in my near future. DH, who is way more fit and active than me, had both hips replaced last year. At 50 he could barely walk and could not stand up straight due to college football. He’s doing great now, so now it’s my turn because right now I can’t keep up with him!

Everything else in my life turned out pretty much like I wanted it to: 2 smart college educated kids that I got to stay home with for 7 years, a good 29 year (and counting) marriage to a great guy, a white colonial style house with black shutters, nice vacations, a good job. It’s funny though - I never had any specific plans for my career as a teacher & school administrator. I just sort of stumbled into it because it worked with my mom schedule.

Overall I am very content. I’ve learned to appreciate what I have and not worry about what everybody else has or what I don’t have. One of my favorite quotes is - Comparison is the thief of joy.

 

[spiders]

I married my high school sweetheart and we have two healthy kids. These days, can't ask for much more.

Regrets...yeah, I have regrets. Who doesn't? Biggest professional regret is that it took me so long to finally quit a job I absolutely hated. I actually had a dream one night where I woke up, went into the bathroom to get ready for work, looked into the mirror and in this dream I saw I was in my 40's (I was in my earlier to mid 20's at the time). I was so disappointed because I had let that job become my career. I quit my job shortly after without another job lined up. This was in 2009 too when the economy wasn't so great. Looking back on it, it was probably one of the most wreckless things I've done but we didn't have kids at the time so I guess that does allow you to make choices that one might not make later in life.

Unfortunately, that delay will follow me for the rest of my career. Had I gone straight into my current job, I would have had much better seniority and 3-4 years makes a big difference with my hire date. 4 years difference would have me on Saturday/Sundays off in about another 2 years. I probably won't ever see Saturday/Sunday during any point in my career. I'll always be "middle/upper middle of the pack" so while I'll always have decent but not great days off. By the time the guys 3-4 years ahead of me retire, I'll be retiring with them. We're all within the same age group and we're forced to retire at 56 and with a few exceptions, we all become eligible for retirement around 50 so not much time between between when we're all going to leave.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I would say at this point everything appears to be what it should be. I am happy with that (assuming things stay as is). I took a few detours along the way. There are a few years I would like to erase along the way.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Did you life turn out like you expected? - pretty much

Or did you take detours along the way that lead you to where you are now? - though yes, it was a meandering path

Are you happy with how your life has turned out? - yes

Or is there something that you would change or do differently? - not really - I'm a big believer in the butterfly effect, so I would be scared to go back and actually change things in the past, even though there are instances where I would give someone in exactly the same situation in the present different advice.