GEM
Mommy to Paul - 1lb 7oz wonder
- Joined
- Sep 23, 1999
- Messages
- 5,054
My six year old son is in kindergarten this year. He's doing pretty well..academically and behaviorally. One of his challenges has been learning to keep his hands to himself. He's very "touchy" and affectionate....loves to hold hands, kiss, hug, snuggle, tickle, etc. Today he got in big trouble at recess. Apparently, he was playing with a little girl and they were running and chasing and being silly. He lifted up her shirt and tickled her on the belly and gave her a zerbert on her belly. A teacher saw this and immediately sent him to the assistant principal's office. Now, I absolutely unquestioningly agree that he should NOT have done that. It was inappropriate behavior at school. However, I do have some issues with what happened after that. Evidently, the assistant principal told my son that he would get a spanking as his punishment. My son freaked out and started crying hysterically. He's never been spanked and was terrified, I guess. I guess because he freaked out so much, the assistant principal backed down and changed his punishment to sitting by the wall for recess three days next week. He did tell him, though, that he would be paddled the next time he touched someone inappropriately. I have some serious problems with this. Below is a copy of the email I sent to the assistant principal. I guess I'm posting this because I'd like to hear your thoughts on the matter, one way or the other....out of curiosity, NOT because I question anything I said.
Mr. ____________,
First, I want to say thank you for contacting me about the incident that occurred on the playground today. I can assure you that I have the utmost respect for school administrators and teachers and the difficult disciplinary decisions you face day in and day out. Paul has known from his first year of pre-school that we expect him to respect his teachers and the school rules in all situations and that the rule in our house is....if you get in trouble at school, you always get in trouble at home as well - no excuses or exceptions. Several times this year I have had him sit down and write a letter of apology (a hugely time consuming activity for a kindergarten student) to Mrs. __________ for various classroom behavior issues. And, although I do know for certain that Paul was acting innocently and had no idea of the real inappropriate nature of his actions today (to him he was just playing around and being silly with a friend), I absolutely agree that learning to respect other people's bodies and keep his hands to himself is a lesson of the highest importance. Because of his behavior on the playground today, he will not be attending a very much anticipated birthday party tomorrow. And, of course, he absolutely understands and accepts that what occurred today has caused him to miss out on recess play for three days next week. We have discussed all of this very thoroughly with Paul this evening. I firmly believe that one of the most loving things a parent can do for a child is to teach him or her to take responsibility for the consequences of his or her actions.
However, having said all that, I am very concerned that paddling was one of the discipline choices offered in this situation. As parents, my husband and I believe very, very strongly that hitting a child for any reason is never justified. We do not hit in our home, and I have very serious concerns about the use of hitting as a disciplinary measure in a school setting. My husband and I would never use the infliction of physical pain as a disciple technique, and I would absolutely never condone, in any circumstance or for any reason, any adult hitting my child.
The practice of corporal punishment in schools has been made illegal in over half of the US states and in over 100 countries around the world. Ours is one of only 20 states where it is still legal. In addition, paddling and all forms of corporal punishment are illegal in most all juvenile detention centers around the country, affording juveniles who have committed crimes requiring them to be incarcerated more protection under the law than elementary school children in some states. Research shows that hitting in any circumstance is completely ineffective as a discipline tool for a variety of reasons. In the situation that occurred today, it seems especially strange to me to offer paddling as a means toward teaching a child respect for other people's bodies.
Again, please understand that I absolutely respect you and your position in the school. I understand that certain actions at school must result in disciplinary action, and, with the exception of corporal punishment, my husband and I will absolutely and unquestioningly back any discipline decisions made by school administrators or teachers.
This is something that we feel very, very strongly about and I really felt that I needed to bring it to your attention.
Thank you for your work with Paul and with the other students. Please understand that what you do is very sincerely appreciated.
Mr. ____________,
First, I want to say thank you for contacting me about the incident that occurred on the playground today. I can assure you that I have the utmost respect for school administrators and teachers and the difficult disciplinary decisions you face day in and day out. Paul has known from his first year of pre-school that we expect him to respect his teachers and the school rules in all situations and that the rule in our house is....if you get in trouble at school, you always get in trouble at home as well - no excuses or exceptions. Several times this year I have had him sit down and write a letter of apology (a hugely time consuming activity for a kindergarten student) to Mrs. __________ for various classroom behavior issues. And, although I do know for certain that Paul was acting innocently and had no idea of the real inappropriate nature of his actions today (to him he was just playing around and being silly with a friend), I absolutely agree that learning to respect other people's bodies and keep his hands to himself is a lesson of the highest importance. Because of his behavior on the playground today, he will not be attending a very much anticipated birthday party tomorrow. And, of course, he absolutely understands and accepts that what occurred today has caused him to miss out on recess play for three days next week. We have discussed all of this very thoroughly with Paul this evening. I firmly believe that one of the most loving things a parent can do for a child is to teach him or her to take responsibility for the consequences of his or her actions.
However, having said all that, I am very concerned that paddling was one of the discipline choices offered in this situation. As parents, my husband and I believe very, very strongly that hitting a child for any reason is never justified. We do not hit in our home, and I have very serious concerns about the use of hitting as a disciplinary measure in a school setting. My husband and I would never use the infliction of physical pain as a disciple technique, and I would absolutely never condone, in any circumstance or for any reason, any adult hitting my child.
The practice of corporal punishment in schools has been made illegal in over half of the US states and in over 100 countries around the world. Ours is one of only 20 states where it is still legal. In addition, paddling and all forms of corporal punishment are illegal in most all juvenile detention centers around the country, affording juveniles who have committed crimes requiring them to be incarcerated more protection under the law than elementary school children in some states. Research shows that hitting in any circumstance is completely ineffective as a discipline tool for a variety of reasons. In the situation that occurred today, it seems especially strange to me to offer paddling as a means toward teaching a child respect for other people's bodies.
Again, please understand that I absolutely respect you and your position in the school. I understand that certain actions at school must result in disciplinary action, and, with the exception of corporal punishment, my husband and I will absolutely and unquestioningly back any discipline decisions made by school administrators or teachers.
This is something that we feel very, very strongly about and I really felt that I needed to bring it to your attention.
Thank you for your work with Paul and with the other students. Please understand that what you do is very sincerely appreciated.
It disturbs and saddens me to think that might be true. 
Okay- I would never write a letter like that but you get the idea. There is no way I would ever in a million years tolerate anyone paddling or spanking my children. Especially at school.
