Lets talk about our teenagers!

[KarenB]

As I previously posted, we are at the stage where drugs and alcohol are becoming available to DSs adn we aer only hoping they make good choices at this age.

Well, just a few days ago, I heard what I thought was a drip in our heating pipes. I had DH go down in the finished basement and lift the ceiling tiles to see if there was indeed a drip or leak. He came upstairs and explained to me "No, there was not a drip, but I found this." he hands me a cigar box. Of course, I think the worse----Oh my god-DSs are hiding drugs from us!!!!

Well......DH starts to laugh and as he is trying to calm me down, he continues to tell me they are old love letters from a girlfriend a few years ago!!!

Karen

 

[disney4us2002]

I have three boys - 18, freshman in college; 14, freshman in hs; and 11, 6th grader but still somewhat babyish.

Currently, my oldest is adjusting well in college and got terrific grades, actually better than when in hs.

My 14 y o is driving me batty. Report cards came out yesterday and I'm livid, shocked, and sooooo disappointed. He earned (hate to say "got" because that implies his grades are not his responsibility) 3 D's, 2 C's, and 2 A's. This child is very intelligent. He has been in honors classes since the 4th grade. Nearly every teacher indicated on the report card, "inattentive in class" and "missing homework". Each class also lists a midterm test score and in all 5 of his C-D classes the midterms were in the high 80s (B's). Apparently, he is just butt lazy. I see him doing homework at night but he either doesn't finish it or doesn't turn it in. I really don't know what to do. We took his internet away so he can only use the computer for writing papers basically and he also lost his phone because we found he was texting his friends during school which is a big no no. I emailed back and forth with a few of his teachers when midterms came out 5 wks ago and all of them indicated he "knew" the material and that he tests well.

Any suggestions? How can I motivate this kid? How do I get him to realize that his grades are cumulative and that this crappy year will be holding him back from certain colleges 3 yrs from now (which is an eternity to him).

 

[Liberty Belle]

I have three boys - 18, freshman in college; 14, freshman in hs; and 11, 6th grader but still somewhat babyish.

Currently, my oldest is adjusting well in college and got terrific grades, actually better than when in hs.

My 14 y o is driving me batty. Report cards came out yesterday and I'm livid, shocked, and sooooo disappointed. He earned (hate to say "got" because that implies his grades are not his responsibility) 3 D's, 2 C's, and 2 A's. This child is very intelligent. He has been in honors classes since the 4th grade. Nearly every teacher indicated on the report card, "inattentive in class" and "missing homework". Each class also lists a midterm test score and in all 5 of his C-D classes the midterms were in the high 80s (B's). Apparently, he is just butt lazy. I see him doing homework at night but he either doesn't finish it or doesn't turn it in. I really don't know what to do. We took his internet away so he can only use the computer for writing papers basically and he also lost his phone because we found he was texting his friends during school which is a big no no. I emailed back and forth with a few of his teachers when midterms came out 5 wks ago and all of them indicated he "knew" the material and that he tests well.

Any suggestions? How can I motivate this kid? How do I get him to realize that his grades are cumulative and that this crappy year will be holding him back from certain colleges 3 yrs from now (which is an eternity to him).

I'm going through the same thing with my 14 year old. I think things are starting to sink in and this semester has been a lot better (so far). He told me yesterday that he told his (advanced) social studies teacher that he wanted to take AP Government next year. She told him she didn't have a problem with it and that she certainly thought he had the brains to do very well, but he had to change his work habits. For some reason, it really seemed to sink in when she said that.

Dh said he was the same way in high school, but he graduated college magna cum laude.

 

[KarenB]

I have three boys - 18, freshman in college; 14, freshman in hs; and 11, 6th grader but still somewhat babyish.

Currently, my oldest is adjusting well in college and got terrific grades, actually better than when in hs.

My 14 y o is driving me batty. Report cards came out yesterday and I'm livid, shocked, and sooooo disappointed. He earned (hate to say "got" because that implies his grades are not his responsibility) 3 D's, 2 C's, and 2 A's. This child is very intelligent. He has been in honors classes since the 4th grade. Nearly every teacher indicated on the report card, "inattentive in class" and "missing homework". Each class also lists a midterm test score and in all 5 of his C-D classes the midterms were in the high 80s (B's). Apparently, he is just butt lazy. I see him doing homework at night but he either doesn't finish it or doesn't turn it in. I really don't know what to do. We took his internet away so he can only use the computer for writing papers basically and he also lost his phone because we found he was texting his friends during school which is a big no no. I emailed back and forth with a few of his teachers when midterms came out 5 wks ago and all of them indicated he "knew" the material and that he tests well.

Any suggestions? How can I motivate this kid? How do I get him to realize that his grades are cumulative and that this crappy year will be holding him back from certain colleges 3 yrs from now (which is an eternity to him).

Could school have been really easy for him and he could breeze through the first 8 years? Maybe it has just become challenging now that he is in HS?? Just a thought......good luck.

 

[Donald & Daisy Duck]

I have two teenage children DD(15) and DS(13). Right now the problems we are dealing with are small compared to what they could be. DD has some issues that she has been getting help for and seems to be doing better - much better than last year when she was hospitalized for a week. She does excellent in school with all advanced classes, due to her own smarts and motivation. In fact, she is too motivated and her perfectionism is a large part of the problem. She is very athletic and has a nice group of friends. She works parttime and loves having her own money - although, she still likes to spend mine better. She has had a boyfriend for about a year, but they are really just friends (no kissing/snuggling) No drugs, no drinking and no sex as of yet. We have spoken to her over the years about these issues and hope when the time comes that she makes the right decisions.

DS(13) can still be very sweet and loving, but then........omg, can he have an attitude. He, unlike his sister, has no motivation for schoolwork. He is also very smart, but doesn't seem to care about his grades. He is in advanced classes also but doesn't seem to have any homework or any need to study. I am waiting the hear from his math teacher to see if he should remain in advanced math, a subject that used to be his best. Other than his schoolwork, he too is very athletic and has a nice group of friends. He has told me though that some of his friends are involved with older girls and have tried drinking. He has stayed clear of that scene, thankfully. He also knows our rules about no drinking, no drugs and our feelings about sexual activity. So far he seems to be making good decisions.

I don't know how people with five or six children survive. There are days when I feel I won't survive and I have two good teens.

I am so happy to have a thread like this one so I can see that other parents are going through similar issues.

 

[PatsGirl]

DS will turn 18 on Tuesday where did the years go? DS was born a sad, introverted child. While he has never been disrespectful or rude, he was very difficult most of high school, up until about 6 months ago. He never cared about his restrictions, like another poster said, he'd find a book. There were times I cleared out his room except for a mattress and it still didn't motivate him to change his behavior. The extended family jokes that they don't know how he got in trouble so much because he was grounded for both his freshman and sophmore years I really tried everything but nothing seemed to work. Most of the problems were based on not doing homework, not doing chores, and a few majors like was dumb enough to leave the empty beer bottle under his bed -- did he think I never went into this room? He was also caught with a bag of weed, dumb dumb dumb Both were one time offenses and trust me, I've been looking! On the other hand, he has only been late for curfew twice in the last four years, yahoo!

He is connected at the hip to his GF and they are very serious, too serious. I'm not sure where to draw the line and he has become so much more compliant and fun to have around I'll admit I'm hesitant to rain on his parade He will graduate in May and is going into the service. At one time he had the grades for college and he has always had the aptitude but he lacks motivation. On other other hand, he has always worked, bought his own pickup truck, pays his own insurance and gas, and for Xmas bought me a Coach purse -- so we know he can work when he wants something and that he knows who butters his bread

He is a delight when he gets what he wants and he is very compassionate and good-willed. I feel that we've made it to the other side

As for DD10, I'm afraid she'll be worse in a different way... she's already starting to question my authority regarding proper clothing and is starting to slide a bit on chores and keeping her room clean. On the other hand, she is a cheerful child and likes to laugh. Maybe we can get through this with humor! Well, it's worth a shot!

 

[TrixieBel]

So, it's Friday night and our kids are all at home - including our DD (16) who has spent the evening doing homework and not out with her boyfriend! Sometimes life is still calm...

 

[lucyanna girl]

Here is my "Drama for the week".

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1705581&referrerid=79230

Penny

 

[mamacatnv]

Good Morning

Good News: DS got a job! Also finished 2 scholarship applications - that was his to do list this week. He only has 2 classes a day, I think he can spare the time.

To all of you with the unmotivated teens, did the drivers license change anything? DS of course wanted to drive. We had 2 rules; he would have to work summers to pay for his car insurance and he had to maintain a 3.25 GPA. He had to wait 6 months past when he was eligible because even tho he had the insurance money he did not have the grades.
These conditions did the trick and he has kept his grades up ever since. Whenever the grades look like they are in danger of slipping 2 words do the trick: School Bus

 

[mamacatnv]

My son just turned 15. My biggest problem with him... explaining GIRLS!!!... and why for one week out of the month they are soooooo strange....

If you figure it out, please share!

Hopefully he'll figure women out. Right now he has a slew of them trying to get his attention. His reaction... he's a male, he's clueless. I try to tell him but what do I know... I haven't been a girl in EONS!!!

I've been married for 20 years, the dork is still clueless!

Here is what DS has said for years, and I agree GIRLS ARE MEAN! and he just shakes his head while I laugh!

 

[KelNottAt]

Thank you for starting this thread.

This week has been really rough with DS. Nothing permanent. Nothing dangerous. Just really rough. Many, MANY, little things have coincided to damage his 2Q grades. They all hit at once and the end result is that he won't be eligible for NHS.

BFD. I know. In the grand scheme of things, of course, I know it could be A LOT worse. It just painful to watch someone torpedo his own potential.

I think DS is the luckiest kid I know. He brought home his report card yesterday and even though he had 2 C's for the quarter and 3 on exams, his cummulative weighted GPA remained 4.000. For the semester he ended up with 4 A's and 4 B's.

I think he'll get that NHS invitation after all. He's still grounded (Amish life until Feb 15) for letting hw zeros lower his grades. But, this has been a real bright spot for him.

 

[Hypermommy]

Amish life until Feb 15

I love that description!!!! Consider it stolen the next time my guys are grounded (which could very well be this weekend for one of them if those grades don't get up!).

 

[mamacatnv]

I think DS is the luckiest kid I know. He brought home his report card yesterday and even though he had 2 C's for the quarter and 3 on exams, his cummulative weighted GPA remained 4.000. For the semester he ended up with 4 A's and 4 B's.

I think he'll get that NHS invitation after all. He's still grounded (Amish life until Feb 15) for letting hw zeros lower his grades. But, this has been a real bright spot for him.

Teenage boys a friend was over for Superbowl, their DS is turning 16 in a week or so, Mom has been ready to wring his neck over grades. He has to have a 3.0 in order to get his license. She didn't think he was going to pull it off......She was dreading a semester of having to drive him to Zero period. (My Ds used to drive him but as a Sr. he got to drop Zero for his last semester) Her DS was short 1 A to balance out one of his C's. He had a high B 89.2% or someting close in his math class and the little charmer went in and got his teacher to give him an A. He pulled off his 3.0 My friend gets to sleep in her DS gets to drive himself.

When I first learned of "weighting" on the AP/Honors classes it didn't seem like all that much for all the extra effort and work.........But........it sure makes a cumulative difference as they continue their HS careers, I was actually surprised with DS's overall GPA at the end of his Jr. year.
Glad to hear that your DS is still on track and I hope he enjoys the Amish lifestyle

 

[Froggyswife]

15 yo dd
doctor's office
there for little less than an hour
She paces and grumbles about having to wait the entire time.


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Ok vent over continue on.

 

[babytrees]

Hi there!! Mom to 2 DD's...one a teenager and one a preteen.

DD1 is a smart, absolutely beautiful kid who has me upside down sometimes. DH and I fought on Friday night...I hate fighting in front of the girls but when he won't talk at all....I digress. The girls started fighting over a.....CUP on Saturday morning. I told them to knock it off over something so stupid. DD1's comeback: "Well, if you don't want us to fight stop fighting with dad" We had a conversation....umm it got a little loud...the girl knows how to push my buttons. I am lucky she is a great kid and I don't have to worry about it often but Ay yi yi!!!

Cassidy(15) is signing up for her Junior classes...she found out she is in the top 40% of her class (huge class). She'd be doing better if she hadn't failed a semester of math last year. I made her stick it out with this teacher for the second semester and her grade did come up. A large part of her failing was her fault but some blame lies with the teacher because before and after him she aced math. She is in marching band and on teacher's recommendations will be taking AP Chem and Honors IMP(math class) along with other classes. This is a total turn around from last year at this time when all of her (except math of course ) asked her to take honors classes and she turned all but one down because she didn't want to deal with the homework .

Abi(11) is going to be my moody, contentious one judging on behavior now.

Thanks for the thread/sounding board!!

 

[Wish Upon A Star]

I have two teens:

DD - 18 going on 19 and
DS - 14 going on 15

They are like night and day! DD became a different person at age 13, moody, pain in the butt, just plain awful. She did have her moments, and still does, but the drama that we had to go through with her was just totally crazy! She graduated high school with a "B" average, which was good for someone who rarely studied or brought home a book. I have seen countless numbers of guys parade through my house, I can name every one of them, but only liked 2, maybe 3 that breezed through. This guy she is dating now is not one of my favorites, unfortunately, but I guess you cannot choose who your kids date. This relationship has been lasting since October (we are shocked) and I'm hoping that this one isn't the "one". Not that he isn't a nice person, its just that he really doesn't have much going for him, not even sure what DD sees in him. She is half done with her hairdressing school and I'm looking forward to her getting her license and having a real job.

Now DS on the other hand is my over-achiever, not that there is anything wrong with being an over-achiever, its just that sometimes it gets to the point where he gets obsessive with test grades and projects and drives himself insane about it. He is an honor student and this marking term made high honors. He is active in school and does community service outside school. He is joining track and is in the marching band. He is constantly on the move. He's pleasant most of the time and rarely moody. He has been going out with his girlfriend since last June and they are really an item, almost like an old married couple. He is going in the right direction, knows that when he graduates he wants to become an Art Teacher. The down side to my son is that he needs to lighten up a bit and have some fun. The poor kid finished mid-terms a couple weeks ago and went straight to all his teachers (even emailed some) to find out what he got. Course selection will be starting soon for the 08-09 school year and many of his teachers want to recommend him for AP classes, he's dreading that too! He's driving me insane in a different way.

 

[minnieandme]

My oldest DS is 14 and is basically a great kid. He doesn't give me too many problems but there are times when I want to wring his neck when he gets an attitude about anything. Sometimes he'll just wake up with an attitude, so I have to put him in check.

He's already thinking about college but can't make up his mind exactly where he wants to go. I told him he has at least 3 more years to decide since he's only in the 8th grade. He's still maintaining his A's and B's. I'm always telling him how proud I am of him and to keep up the good work. It'll pay off in the long run when he starts applying for college.

He's finally admitted to having a girlfriend. I kinda knew anyway because at one point there was 4 different girls calling the house. But I was questioning this one girl that he's always IM her on myspace. Sure enough, she's the one.

The biggest problem I have right now is he eats up everything in the house. His little brother already told him when he gets older and comes to his house to visit, he'll have to bring his own food I swear, I can't make money fast enough to feed him. Why do teenage boys eat so much? I'll never understand that.

 

[Olaf]

This was the Zits cartoon on Sunday. They have captured my DS 13 to a "T".

http://www.arcamax.com/newspics/4/468/46828.gif

 

[punkin]

I think DS is the luckiest kid I know. He brought home his report card yesterday and even though he had 2 C's for the quarter and 3 on exams, his cummulative weighted GPA remained 4.000. For the semester he ended up with 4 A's and 4 B's.

I think he'll get that NHS invitation after all. He's still grounded (Amish life until Feb 15) for letting hw zeros lower his grades. But, this has been a real bright spot for him.

Explain to me please the whole weighted GPA thing. My DD15 is basically in (almost) all honors classes so her weighted GPA is considerably higher than raw GPA. In the mean time she is freaking out because she "will never get into a college; ok, never get into a good college; will have to go to community college and never do well in life" (Do we have a hitting head against wall smilie?)

 

[lilyv]

Explain to me please the whole weighted GPA thing. My DD15 is basically in (almost) all honors classes so her weighted GPA is considerably higher than raw GPA. In the mean time she is freaking out because she "will never get into a college; ok, never get into a good college; will have to go to community college and never do well in life" (Do we have a hitting head against wall smilie?)

Some colleges and universities automatically recalculate weighted/non-weighted into a single score that allows them to compare students more easily. Others just leave them as they are. Either way, it's good your DD is in honors. If she has the opportunity to take AP or IB classes, she should consider them, as well. When DD applies to a college, her HS will attach a school profile to her transcript. This allows the college to know what opportunities existed at her HS, and if she has taken advantage of them.
My DD had some of the same worries about getting into a college. It helped her to check out the requirements ahead of time (using university catalogs online) to make sure she was on the right track with her class selections. She was also interested to read about how many credit hours she might get with AP's, depending on scores. Good information to know!