Let your DD go to a playdate or sleepover if only dad at home

[FlightlessDuck]

Yeah, I'd be pretty hesitant to do that.

 

[aprilgail2]

Am I the only one who says, probably not???

I would LOVE to say that I would be fine about it...and I was about to say I would be...Theoretically...

I think realistically...if my DD asked, I would probably say no.

I'm sure OP is a great person and I know there are other great people out there...but I would more than likely say no.

No you are not the only one- I would not let my daughter stay at the house if just a father was home. In fact I am not crazy about it when there is a step father/boyfriend there either but I have relaxed on that now that she is older.
My daughter used to have a friend of hers and for some reason that dad just creeped me out- I would not let her over the house even during the day when just the father was home. Other friends of hers fathers don't make me feel that way just that one creeped me out.

 

[rentayenta]

This is something that I and other single fathers plus stay at home dads struggle with daily. My daughter has a group of friends she regularly plays with when I am not over-scheduling her . Most of her friend's parents have no issue with them coming over to play at my house, but there are only a few that have said yes when my daughter has asked them for a sleep over.

Most of the time some will ask if my daughter can sleep over there but it is not something you can ask. Nothing is ever said but it is implied they are not comfortable as I am a single father. I get it, I understand the statistics, and I don't bother to point out that women statistically are more likely to physically abuse their kids.

I know there are some who just "will not take that chance", but I am fortunate having gotten to know many of the parents that my daughter gets to have friends over on her "turf" if that makes sense.

What do you would you allow in this situation? Is it different if the single dad was raising a son, would your son be allowed to sleepover with his friend if a dad was the only parent in the house? I have no frame of reference since I am twisted around the finger of a girl and gave up my man card years ago when I sat through a Miley Cirus 3D movie!

My father raised me. All but one friend was allowed to spend the night.

 

[Disneynut5]

My children are not allowed to spend the night with anyone for any reeason. Grandma is the ONLY exception. But if I did let them, I have to admit that I would be okay with a single mom but not a single dad. Sorry for the double standard, but men are more likely to sexually abuse other children. Women are only more likely to physically abuse their own children.

I am sorry that this double standard effects you and your daughter.

 

[low-key]

to weird, I wouldnt do it

 

[bumbershoot]

I hope that when DD is of "sleep over age" I can kind of get over things like this...but if I'm going to be honest...right now...the answer would be no.

If you're going to worry about your daughter, why not about your son?

I'm not sure that abuse like that stays inside the lines of what parts the child has.



I'm not ready for DS to stay overnight anywhere, so I can't answer. It wasn't something I came across growing up; my mom was the only divorced parent in my group, and another mom was widowed, and every other friend of mine had an intact, alive, family.

And inside of one of the best, nicest families, was the only time the group of friends was verbally abused (by the father) because we were too loud, too late (and the guy had the mistaken concept that a slumber party involved slumber...silly silly man). Not any sort of "real" abuse, but it sure stuck with us! Scary.

But anyway, I'm just not ready for that with DS.

 

[5lilfish]

This is something that I and other single fathers plus stay at home dads struggle with daily. My daughter has a group of friends she regularly plays with when I am not over-scheduling her . Most of her friend's parents have no issue with them coming over to play at my house, but there are only a few that have said yes when my daughter has asked them for a sleep over.

Most of the time some will ask if my daughter can sleep over there but it is not something you can ask. Nothing is ever said but it is implied they are not comfortable as I am a single father. I get it, I understand the statistics, and I don't bother to point out that women statistically are more likely to physically abuse their kids.

I know there are some who just "will not take that chance", but I am fortunate having gotten to know many of the parents that my daughter gets to have friends over on her "turf" if that makes sense.

What do you would you allow in this situation? Is it different if the single dad was raising a son, would your son be allowed to sleepover with his friend if a dad was the only parent in the house? I have no frame of reference since I am twisted around the finger of a girl and gave up my man card years ago when I sat through a Miley Cirus 3D movie!

2 things would determine my answer:

1) Do I know you? We don't have to be friends, but I would want to have met you and spent at least a little time around you (like chatting at a school event or being on the sidelines at a sporting event...enough to get a vibe)...but that is not necessarily due to you being a single Dad. I like to have a clue about the family inviting my DD over for a sleepover.

2) Is my DD old enough to let me know if she is uncomfortable? I'd be less likely to think twice about sending my 12 yr old than sending a 6 yr old.

I would not have any blanket rule against a sleepover just because you are a single Dad though. I know some fantastic single fathers.

Jess

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

If you're going to worry about your daughter, why not about your son?

I'm not sure that abuse like that stays inside the lines of what parts the child has.

I worry about him just as much...but the question said daughter.

 

[kellyg403]

I worry about him just as much...but the question said daughter.

I understand where you are coming from, its difficult to know for sure, 100% nothing will happen to our children when they are not right there in our presence with us to protect them. I think it is a natural response to feel that way. It doesn't make you a bad person! The only thing I would add, is sometimes it is hard to let go and not restrict our children from experiences because we are overprotective. While an apples to oranges analogy, I have a fear of water. Intense fear. I don't like even to take showers because of the water in my face. I had a near drowning incident when I was about 9. I could swim like a fish before that time. Now, I can't get over the fear to even get in the water above my ankles. I never let my children go in the ocean past their ankles because of this. Weird I know. However, my now dh, when he realized my issue, signed up all my children for swimming lessons and took them personally. I didn't have to go and watch them. My one ds was a severe asthmatic and his ped had for several years said swimming was an excellent way for him to build his lung capacity, after the first year did not have an attack for 2 years. Anyway, today my children are excellent swimmers. I still can barely stand to see them go into the ocean but I am better at the pool. Honestly, it boiled down to my fear and not being able to protect them should there be an incident.Had he not done that, I would have restricted them from something that they all enjoy quite a bit. So, I am better about not resorting to my fears as being the reason they can't do something.

I get what you are saying in the end!

Kelly

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I understand where you are coming from, its difficult to know for sure, 100% nothing will happen to our children when they are not right there in our presence with us to protect them. I think it is a natural response to feel that way. It doesn't make you a bad person! The only thing I would add, is sometimes it is hard to let go and not restrict our children from experiences because we are overprotective. While an apples to oranges analogy, I have a fear of water. Intense fear. I don't like even to take showers because of the water in my face. I had a near drowning incident when I was about 9. I could swim like a fish before that time. Now, I can't get over the fear to even get in the water above my ankles. I never let my children go in the ocean past their ankles because of this. Weird I know. However, my now dh, when he realized my issue, signed up all my children for swimming lessons and took them personally. I didn't have to go and watch them. My one ds was a severe asthmatic and his ped had for several years said swimming was an excellent way for him to build his lung capacity, after the first year did not have an attack for 2 years. Anyway, today my children are excellent swimmers. I still can barely stand to see them go into the ocean but I am better at the pool. Honestly, it boiled down to my fear and not being able to protect them should there be an incident.Had he not done that, I would have restricted them from something that they all enjoy quite a bit. So, I am better about not resorting to my fears as being the reason they can't do something.

I get what you are saying in the end!

Kelly

Thanks!

I think once we get settled in(we're moving to a permanant residence next year) it will be easier to get to know people better.

I had an interesting(to say the least) experience with a mother here and her DH(I had known her for about a year...but her DH was deployed so I had never met him) a few weeks ago and I am still a little weirded out...especially because I had let my kids have a playdate there before...One of the few without me...so I am like...Nope.............never.....again.

I do feel bad, because I a sure most single fathers don't deserve that...but I can't help it.