Leashes for kids??? Is it wrong??

[NotUrsula]

... and I know I went through about ten seconds of terror before hearing her screaming out for me... Mommmmmmmmyyyyyy!!!

This is slightly OT, but one of the most useful safety tips I've ever been given is to be sure to teach your child your full *real name* as soon as they can pronounce it, and tell them to use it if Mom or Dad ever gets lost.

In a crowd, "Mommmmyyyy" is a lot less helpful than "Mary Jones!!!!" Not all kids will remember, but many will, and you can more easily be paged in a store, etc., if your child knows your full name. (Lots of kids get a kick out of learning this because it gives them license to fuss at you the way you may sometimes fuss at them.)

 

[ptslp]

We had purchased a harness for dd 18 mos for our last trip and left it in the package. I felt good knowing we had it if necessary, but we ended up not needing it. I would have taken it out, but she listened well and if she tried to let go while walking, we put her right in the stroller.

I think that your comfort level is what is important. My ds is 3 1/2 and listens well, so we don't have two who will run off, but I was at Sesame Place last week and saw a dad with twins, about 18 months old. He was alone (we were near a restroom and he appeared to be waiting for someone) and the girls both attempted to run from him - in opposite directions! I can't imagine what he would have done if he didn't have the harnesses and they both were able to pull their little hands from his at the same time. It reinforced to me that some kids/families need to use harnesses for safety.

Someone earlier posted that you teach your kids to stay with you or you leave and I have, but Disney is such a different kind of place that kids don't normally experience and if I paid that much money to go somewhere, I wouldn't threaten my kids with leaving anyway- maybe they would have to sit in the stroller, but I wouldn't leave the park after paying a fortune to get in!

to the OP, do what feels right for you!!
have a nice trip

 

[WIcruizer]

You can use them. But if I see you, I'm going to roll my eyes at you. So will a lot of other people.

I agree. I think it looks ridiculous, and it doesn't guarantee safety. How can they know their limits whenever they're NOT on a leash? Our kids weren't very different than anyone else's. They couldn't sit still and wanted to wander away. But we used age appropriate penalties and rewards. If you wander away again, there will be no ice cream. If you're a good girl and stay by daddy, we'll go on Dumbo next...

It's not as easy as leashes, but far more rewarding.

 

[freckles and boo]

I'm almost certain they were developmentally normal children. Most autistic children have at least some degree of speech impairment and both of these kids seemed completely normal in every way.

My four year old is on the autistic spectrum and has a communication disorder. You would never know it by hearing her speech out of context because her diction is perfect! She is like a parrot and much of her language is at this time learned by rote, so it is inappropriate and "weird". She also appears completely normal. Unfortunately she can run like a gazelle! I have never used a harness with her but I absolutely understand the impulse and would consider it in a chaotic situation.

But if I see you, I'm going to roll my eyes at you. So will a lot of other people.

As usual, I have an unpopular opinion, but for every one here going, yahoo, now you don't have to worry, you've removed all risk from your child's world, there's somebody out there thinking "yeah, not trying very hard, are we?"

I have two very willful daughters 18 months apart, and it took constant vigilance and constant work with them to teach them when it was ok to wander around, and when it wasn't.

Including deliberately letting them 'get lost' (they didn't know where I was, I knew where they were).

How else are they supposed to learn boundaries?

Leashes are such a passive form of parenting, it just doesn't teach them anything.

Those who choose to roll their eyes and feel superior in their parenting skills may not realize how blessed they are to have children who are capable of listening and learning normally.

 

[kkevcamsmom]

Someone earlier posted that you teach your kids to stay with you or you leave and I have, but Disney is such a different kind of place that kids don't normally experience and if I paid that much money to go somewhere, I wouldn't threaten my kids with leaving anyway- maybe they would have to sit in the stroller, but I wouldn't leave the park after paying a fortune to get in!

That was me, we have taught ours in small trips like to the store, mall and other places that were free to get in. That way when we did take them to Six Flags, Adventureland, the Omaha Zoo or other places it was just habit to hold our hands.

I can not put a price tag on my kids safety and yes I would leave the park, kids do not know we can return they only know that "Hey, Mom said she would and she did!" And yes when we did have problems, I have taken my kids out of the amusement parks, movies, and zoo's before, talked to them, let them wait a few minutes and then asked if they would like to try again. They usually say YES!!! and we have no further problems.

The point I am making is if you follow through with the small 'threats' they will believe the big ones.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

If someone looks mean at you just smile back. Do whatever makes your trip safer and more enjoyable for everyone. I do caution however that when you are going it is going to be quite croweded. Leashes can be quite dangerous when the crowds are too heavy. We saw a little toddler girl take a pretty bad fall last year when someone tripped over her leash. Be sure you also have a stroller, and be sure to pick her up when the crowds are heavy or she seems to be getting tired.
I do however belive that children do need to learn to stay near thier parents and to learn that sometimes they must hold your hand. I just do not think that WDW is the place to take a chance or teach a lesson better learned at home.

 

[fan_of_small_world]

disclaimer! I used a harness for DS when he was 1 and 2!

Leashes are such a passive form of parenting, it just doesn't teach them anything...My kids saw other kids on leashes at Disney and asked me, "why are they walking their kids, Mommy?" And I shrugged and said "because the kids can't mind their parents."

I think something to remember is that most folks here who are considering getting a harness are doing so for unusual situations...in this case, going to WDW - one of the most crowded places their children have probably ever been to. I don't think many people here are talking about using them all day, every day. So to say that this constitutes "passive parenting" is making a generalization out of something that is quite likely a one-time (or a not-very-often) thing. And we're talking about 1 and 2 year olds! I have yet to meet a toddler who always listens; even those with attentive, dedicated parents have their moments!

And I don't think one other poster has said anything close to:

now you don't have to worry, you've removed all risk from your child's world

I think most people here realize that harnesses are just one more tool to use, and do not expect them to solve all concerns.

Just my 2 cents!

 

[o2bacelt]

well, we're users here, only we don't call them leashes.

My DD is just 2, we took her to WDW for her first trip in March when she was 22 mos. old, my DD started walking at 9 months, she's very very fast and amazingly strong, when it's really hot out and we're all sweaty she can manage to pull away from me on occassion. Does that make me a bad parent? Nope, it just means I have a very independent thinking normal two year old who will do unpredictable things when faced with WAY TOO MUCH stimulation.

We bought a set of "reins" while in England last summer. Instead of connecting at a center point in the back of the harness it connects at two points so that you can help steer your child through congested areas. Best 10 pounds I ever spent.

My issue is that my DD can tell you her first name but when confronted with strangers will clam up, she doesn't know her address yet, we've been working on it but she doesn't have it or her last name down yet. She wears something that will identify her and us, but I'd rather have her two feet from me on the harness than lost somewhere in the park because she managed to pull away from me and got lost in a crowd.

Now in March we probably only used the thing three times because she understood she was going to wear it if she misbehaved while holding on to to anyone's hand or she would be put in the stroller. That alliviated some of the problem and by the end of the trip she was okay with it on and it gave her the freedom to walk without having to hold someone's hands.

Harnesses aren't for everyone but they work for a lot of people.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

We would NEVER use one, but it's not my business on those that choose to do so. Just do what you feel necessary have fun! i wish my trip were sooner

 

[Disneyrsh]

Those who choose to roll their eyes and feel superior in their parenting skills may not realize how blessed they are to have children who are capable of listening and learning normally.

Oh, here we go again.

My kids aren't normal. I won't get into why, but let's just say it's a good thing I had the emergency brake set on my minivan when my then 4 year old figured out how to work the key fob lock, which key went into the ignition, and how to turn the ignition ON and put the car in neutral, then crawl under the seat to press the gas. Holy freakin' mother of frijoles.

So, let's not go into the whole, 'you're lucky your kid is normal' argument, shall we?

Because NOBODY's kids are NORMAL!

Every parent has their challenges with their kids.

I simply disagree with the way those parents who choose to use leashes parent their kids, for reasons stated in my original post.

 

[KJMAX1]

Well I could care less if people rolls their eyes or comment to me, I am thinking of using one with our 2yr old. She is strong willed and will run off. We have left stores on MANY occassions. In fact I had to leave a Wiggles concert. However, we will be on vacation and while I will correct my child if needed Id like all of us to have a fun time. Therefore, since she enjoys walking and not riding in the stroller all the time, and has a habit of running and hiding, I think a "Mommys Helper" will be great for us. Id really like to get the fanny pack version, it looks really cool and she will think she is a big kid!

 

[Cass]

I loved using the harness on my daughter. I bought it in Scotland, it was a soft white leather with a teddybear on the front. She walked and walked and thought it was the best thing. It prevented me from stretching her little arm as she tried to walk beside me holding hand. Great little invention, the harness is the way to go.

 

[HollisterSweetie]

I don`t necessarily think that it's "wrong" if you use them properly because it`s not my place to tell other people how to raise their children. I would have to say I would do the same thing that Disneyrsh does:

Disneyrsh
But if I see you, I'm going to roll my eyes at you. So will a lot of other people.

On multiple occassions i've seen the parents literally drag their kids(most not older than 2) on the ground with these things in WDW . It breaks my heart to see this. I realize not all of you do this, but i've seen this far too many times .

 

[digskat]

It's your call. For me.........my kids have my eyes and my hands, my dog has my leash.

 

[SamIAm21]

This is slightly OT, but one of the most useful safety tips I've ever been given is to be sure to teach your child your full *real name* as soon as they can pronounce it, and tell them to use it if Mom or Dad ever gets lost.

In a crowd, "Mommmmyyyy" is a lot less helpful than "Mary Jones!!!!" Not all kids will remember, but many will, and you can more easily be paged in a store, etc., if your child knows your full name. (Lots of kids get a kick out of learning this because it gives them license to fuss at you the way you may sometimes fuss at them.)

That's a great idea!! She is six and knows my name very well, but I think we both panicked when we lost sight of each other. We were in a pretty small area and it would have been a very good idea to just yell SUE!!!! I used a harness on her until she was about three and after that she just learned that there were times she had to hold my hand. She's a really good kid about stuff like that and listens pretty well especially when she knows that she could be very lost very quickly. She is also instructed on what castmembers look like and told to only approach them if we become separated.

Great idea and I will coach her on that for out next trip in November!

 

[NotUrsula]

I simply disagree with the way those parents who choose to use leashes parent their kids, for reasons stated in my original post.

With all due respect, your minivan story perfectly illustrates that kids can ALWAYS be unpredictable at times, no matter how hard you try to set boundaries for them and teach them the rules. I'm thinking that after that episode you took probably took steps to insure that particular performance couldn't happen again, which is exactly what motivates most American parents to use reins. Most have discovered the hard way that having a child just once fail to remember the rules could mean a serious injury if it happens in the wrong circumstances. Being in a large, unfamiliar public place with a lot of people and a lot of attractive but dangerous distractions around qualifies as one of those circumstances, IMO.

BTW, I've never been one to be paranoid about pedophiles and things like that. The sorts of dangers that most concern me at WDW include things like the moat around the Castle, hot popcorn carts, floats, automatic doors, and water-borne ride vehicles. Toddlers can so easily slip past barriers in places where adults cannot easily follow.

 

[Passions71203]

You can use them.

But if I see you, I'm going to roll my eyes at you. So will a lot of other people.

As usual, I have an unpopular opinion, but for every one here going, yahoo, now you don't have to worry, you've removed all risk from your child's world, there's somebody out there thinking "yeah, not trying very hard, are we?"

I have two very willful daughters 18 months apart, and it took constant vigilance and constant work with them to teach them when it was ok to wander around, and when it wasn't.

Before I vent I just wanted to say that I have a daughter and a son that are 15 months apart so I do understand how hard it can be at times.

Go ahead roll your eyes at me Using a harness on a child at WDW is much different then using a harness on a child all the time in public. And yes we do know how to parent our children. But I am not going to spend my whole vacation yelling at my child.

So once again roll your eyes at me when my DD has her harness on and I will roll my eyes back at you
I know what works for me and my family..and if it doesn't go by what you believe in....get over it!

 

[tacomaranch]

I recently posted the same topic on the disAbilities board. Our son has autism and he is a runner. I would never consider going without the leash.

Other people are not responsible for my son, I am. Look all you want, he is safe, close and comfortable.

JMO, April

 

[all4fun]

Before I vent I just wanted to say that I have a daughter and a son that are 15 months apart so I do understand how hard it can be at times.

Go ahead roll your eyes at me Using a harness on a child at WDW is much different then using a harness on a child all the time in public. And yes we do know how to parent our children. But I am not going to spend my whole vacation yelling at my child.

So once again roll your eyes at me when my DD has her harness on and I will roll my eyes back at you
I know what works for me and my family..and if it doesn't go by what you believe in....get over it!

Well said!

 

[pepperw23]

I don't really have an opinion on them one way or another. I never needed one, but on the other hand, my kids may be different than someone elses....that being said.......

Everyone whether you use a harness or not have FUN!!! WOO HOOOOO.