PrincessInOz
Thanks for my avatar, Mary Jo!
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2010
- Messages
- 108,007
Just home from dinner at mum's.
Neologisms
This is doing the rounds by email at the 'orifice' and I thought I'd share. Apologies to those that have already seen it.
NOTE: Any *** words will be ones edited by the Dis; not by the copyist.
The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners are:
The Washington Posts Style Invitational also asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this years winners:
Neologisms
This is doing the rounds by email at the 'orifice' and I thought I'd share. Apologies to those that have already seen it.
NOTE: Any *** words will be ones edited by the Dis; not by the copyist.
The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners are:
- Coffee (n), the person upon whom one coughs
- Flabbergasted (adj), appalled over how much weight you have gained
- Abdicate (v), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
- Esplanade (v), to attempt an explanation while drunk
- Willy-nilly (adj), impotent
- Negligent (adj), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown
- Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp
- Gargoyle (n), olive-flavoured mouthwash
- Flatulence (n), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
- Balderdash (n), a rapidly receding hairline
- Testicle (n), a humorous question on an exam
- Rectitude (n), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists
- Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist
- Oyster (n), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms
- Frisbeetarianism (n), The belief that when you die, your sould flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there
- Circumvent (n), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
The Washington Posts Style Invitational also asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this years winners:
- Bozone (n), The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Foreplay (v), Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
- Cashtration (n), The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
- Giraffiti (n), Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- Sarchasm (n), The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesnt get it.
- Inoculatte (v), To take coffee intravenously when youre running late.
- Hipatitis (n), Terminal coolness.
- Osteopornosis (n), A degenerate disease.
- Karmaggeddon (n), Its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and its like a serious bummer.
- Decafalon (n), The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Glibido (v), All talk and no action.
- Dopeler effect (n), The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly,
- Arachnoleptic fit (n), The frantic dance performed just after youve accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug (n), Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Caterpallor (n), The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit youre eating.
And the pick of the literature:
- Ignoranus (n), A person whos both stupid and an $#$#@ (substitute with donkey's behind....the Dis didn't even bleep this out....it just deleted it completely! And if there are any mods reading this, I'm just faithfully quoting from the Washington Post!)
