Larisa&Eric June 6, 2011**7/7 Weee'reee Baaack!**

[lzimm13]

really? no one has anything to say?

 

[irishwishes]

I think you'll just have to see how it goes when you talk to her. Your bridesmaid seems like she is fulfilling all the MOH duties anyway. Is it really important to her that you identify her as the MOH instead? Or does she not really care and would doing these things regardless of everyone at the wedding knowing she's the MOH? When it comes down to it, MOH is just a name.

Maybe I'm not treating the MOH title as important as other people. I only have 2 girls in my wedding and having the title of MOH or bridesmaid isn't the most important thing to them.

 

[neener3]

I'm not sure I have any advice to offer, to be honest.

I'm not sure what kind of a mental health state your MOH is in now, but when you're having mental health issues, it's REALLY hard to see beyond yourself. And I don't mean this in a "oh, depressed and suicidal people are SO selfish" at ALL. I just mean that when you can't figure yourself or your life out, it's hard to see beyond anything. I have a friend like your MOH. I cherish her for who she is, and we've been friends the longest...but she's not standing with me (or even coming to the wedding actually).

In the end, it's your wedding. And you have a right to be honest with her about how your DF feels about her, since she asked outright. No point in lying. My DF feels the same about my friend, and sometimes she's like "well I wonder what he thinks of me since he doesn't like so and so and so and so". But she's never ASKED outright, so I don't bite.

Good luck, whatever happens. It's your day, and if you think she's going to take from it, then you have the right to leave her out. Expect her to take it VERY personally. There's no easy way out of this one...

 

[*Pixiedust1438*]

I think you'll just have to see how it goes when you talk to her. Your bridesmaid seems like she is fulfilling all the MOH duties anyway. Is it really important to her that you identify her as the MOH instead? Or does she not really care and would doing these things regardless of everyone at the wedding knowing she's the MOH? When it comes down to it, MOH is just a name.

Maybe I'm not treating the MOH title as important as other people. I only have 2 girls in my wedding and having the title of MOH or bridesmaid isn't the most important thing to them.

I agree with this... if your BM is going to basically do everything a typical "MOH' would do, then your lucky to have a great bridesmaid, and maybe you should just leave the titles as is, but let MOH know that you understand if she cannot full fill all the "typical" MOH duties. Or, I don't know how you would feel about this, maybe you could just make them both MOH (Is one of them married? In that case, even better, one Maid of Honor, and one Matron of honor) I know some people don't like the idea of having two, but I have been to plenty of weddings where there were two MOH or Best men (actually my sister had two MOH, I was one of them, and it didn't bother me at all that she had two, and DF is having two best men) so that is something to consider. Ultimately you need to choose whatever will make you the least stressed out in the end!

 

[lzimm13]

Thank you girls for your very practical take on things.

I talked to her on friday. Basically she expressed that she doesn't think she should be MOH to a couple when the husband-to-be doesn't like her. after a long conversation and a lot of understanding I decided that there will be no maid of honor. I jut have 3 bridesmaids...and it works out. I don't expect much of my third bridesmaid as far as duties, shes 14 and his neice, shes thrilled just to be included. Other wise one bridesmaid lives here the other lives in FL so they can share the separate duties that they can attend to at their locations.

I contemplated making the other girl MOH but I feel like it would be pouring salt in a would (that I didn't even make, mind you) so I just left it as is. I'm just glad the decision is done and over with

 

[neener3]

Glad to hear things worked out in a way that you're comfortable!

 

[BecBennett]

That's a pretty good outcome, hopefully no one will get hurt doing it that way.

 

[*Pixiedust1438*]

I think that was a perfect decision you made! Glad everything worked out well!

 

[lzimm13]

Ok, Drama aside and done with. I need to make a to do list. I function much better with lists because I feel good when I can check something off. However I really am having trouble compiling a list. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. SO help a bride out.

This is what I've done so far:
Book Photographer
Book outside florist for personal florals/possibly centerpieces
Book hair/make up
Book the church
Buy dress
Book Photo shoot for his gift
Suits for the guys
dresses for the girls

Things left to do:
Buy shoes
buy undergarments
alterations
get menu pricing
gather dessert party menu ideas
dessert party menu pricing
Pricing for centerpieces from disney
suits for dads
dresses for moms
favors/and or welcome bags
rehearsal dinner

Whew! thats all I can think of right now but I feel like theres so much else I need to do that I'm not remembering.

Also where can I have a rehearsal dinner for like 15ish people? I think thats my biggest task right now. And honestly I never talk to my planner so shes not to much help....I feel like I'm bothering her when I e-mail her because she never initiates contact....How often does everyone else talk to their planners?

 

[DVC Bride 2011]

Michelle is my planner too and I don't talk to her much but I honestly thinks it's because our weddings are still 7-7.5 months away. There's not much to talk about until the planning session and most people on the boards say they didn't have much contact with their planners until the wedding date got closer. I wouldn't sweat it. If you have a question though, like your rehearsal dinner one, it won't hurt to email her just for some ideas, or post on the main wedding board. We were thinking of using the Key West room at the GF - it fits about 20 people I think. Or you could make reservations through a restaurant on property.

 

[lzimm13]

Thank you! I was starting to feel like there was something I was doing wrong because I wasn't emailing her back and forth once a week! People are talking about pricing for buffet menus and I just kind of assumed I would get that at the Planning session!

 

[lzimm13]

So Tuesday I have a phone meeting with Michelle to talk about Rehearsal/welcome dinner possibilities. My in-laws-to-be finally gave me a number to work with which takes a load off my mind! I'm also in the process of writing the invitation wording and looking for design software to design and print them.

For the Invitations I'd like to include all the extra information people will need like trasnportation, what to wear, and...I seem to be blanking on everything else. Any ideas? software wise or topics for the invitations?

 

[Goldeelox9]

Raglan road does an awesome rehearsal dinner. They will make menus and give choices and the Evan have a semi private alcove. Give them a call.

 

[BecBennett]

Michelle is my planner too, I always initiate contact and find this normal.

You wouldn't be bothering her with your questions, that's what she's there for, if you're worried she's too busy to answer your questions, email them through anyway, and she'll reply when she can.

I can't really help with the check list. I know I've got a massive one that I'm steadily making my way through, but I know there are heaps of things that need to be added to it, but I can never remember what they are! They usually come to me when I'm driving or in the shower

 

[irishwishes]

Raglan road does an awesome rehearsal dinner. They will make menus and give choices and the Evan have a semi private alcove. Give them a call.

I'm having my rehearsal dinner at Raglan road. I'm happy to hear that it's a great place to have one. When I talked to them they were so nice and accommodating.

 

[lzimm13]

So I spoke to Michelle about the rehearsal/welcome dinner and I've narrowed it down to Shipwreck Beach, Tamu Tamu courtyard, or the Rix Lounge. I think Tamu Tamu is out because their f&B min is $2500, which is a bit much. And I think I'm leaning towards Shipwreck beach.

Other than that I've realized that our PS in in 5 weeks and I am wildly un-prepared. I'm trying to have a mockup of our invitations done by then. and I still have to fill out all of our paperwork for the PS and the tasting session and i have to get on it with the DJ lists, and the cake pictures...oh man I knew there was stuff I should have been doing this whole time!

 

[lzimm13]

OK I need a vote on shoes

http://www.6pm.com/multiview/7635961/61625

http://www.6pm.com/multiview/7423385/396

http://www.zappos.com/multiview/7707829/18608

Thats all I've got so far...I'm not really thrilled with any of them except the green ones and I'm not sure how they would look peeking out from under my dress

 

[*Pixiedust1438*]

I think shipwreck beach sounds like a great place to do the welcome dinner! I would probably choose there out of the choices. As far as the shoes I like the 2nd and 3rd pair a lot, I think either of those would look good. The green ones would be nice. I kind of like when brides wear bright colored shoes with their wedding gown.

 

[Sccrmnky2005]

I like the third one the best!! They look so wedding like and think they would look great with your dress!

 

[lzimm13]

I think shipwreck beach sounds like a great place to do the welcome dinner! I would probably choose there out of the choices. As far as the shoes I like the 2nd and 3rd pair a lot, I think either of those would look good. The green ones would be nice. I kind of like when brides wear bright colored shoes with their wedding gown.

I think I'm going to go with shipwreck beach...The whole wedding is turning out to be a lot more ocean-y than I had originally planned but in a good way! I'm using compass's in the design of the invites and things...we're shifting towards nautical here as for the green shoes, I'm really tempted by them...i might just have to order them and see what they look like with the dress

I like the third one the best!! They look so wedding like and think they would look great with your dress!

I think the 3rd pair is my back up. They're a little vintage-y, classy, wedding-y lol

I've got another pair here too
http://www.6pm.com/multiview/7655072/14