Kids?

[JessHooper]

How is everyone handling their guests with kids? We're on a strict budget and for our reception, we're looking at spending almost $100 per person for food! The kids would be just over 50 per child over 4, which we're not willing to pay, since the kids are all ages 4 through 6, and there are 5 of them. We are tempted to say, no to the kids coming. Is this unreasonable? What else could we do???

 

[Laurafoster]

It really depends. It might be tricky if you have guests travelling to your wedding and paying out to stay at a hotel. What would they do with the kids whilst at your wedding? Pay an additional fee for a babysitter?

One option would be for you to hire a babysitter for all of them maybe?

Does your kids menu include food? as the menu i am using charges just $20 for the kids for food.

 

[scootert]

When my stepson was married they decided that the rehearsal dinner would be adults only. (This was in Chicago, not WDW). They arranged and paid for babysitting at the hotel where most of us were staying. If folks were staying elsewhere, they just had to get to the main hotel and drop off their children. I'm sure Disney has babysitting options available -- perhaps your event person could help with this.

 

[groomtb]

where's the reception at? Swan/Dolphin does have evening 'camp' for kids from 5:30pm~12am
$10.00 per child/per hour

 

[janine]

I was given a choice of children's menu's, the most expensive being $23 per child.

 

[LouisianaDisneyFan]

How is everyone handling their guests with kids? We're on a strict budget and for our reception, we're looking at spending almost $100 per person for food! The kids would be just over 50 per child over 4, which we're not willing to pay, since the kids are all ages 4 through 6, and there are 5 of them. We are tempted to say, no to the kids coming. Is this unreasonable? What else could we do???

Disney offers in-house babysitting and also the Neverland Club, but the cost per child would be higher than the $25-50 you would spend for each of them for the reception. You're only talking about 5 kids... $250 max. I think it would be much more gracious to allow your guests, who have probably spent thousands to attend your nuptials, to bring the children along for the reception. Or, perhaps you could arrange a quantity discount for the Neverland Club through your planner. I think telling the parents that you've invited them to a family resort and now want to exclude their children would not be received very well (speaking from a parent's point of view). In essence, they are giving up their vacation time to attend something that is important to you... and now you want them to give up more. See what I mean? ~Ev

 

[allisonswonderland]

I think it is a sticky subject - my dad is paying and does not want them to be there. Of course the kids who will be around will be b/w the ages of 2mo to 5yrs and there will be about 13 of them. We will probably have them for the reception but not the ceremony. Their parents do not make them behave.....at all!

 

[sajetto]

I'm really of not much help but b/c I'm having an intimate my sis's 2 kids can't come. She is reallllly particular about who watches her kids so Disney's childcare was not going to work. Instead, I offered to pay the fees for her brother and sister and law to fly down so that they can sit in the room and watch the 2 of them. (I know this is crazy but my sis is a stay at home mom who home schools and uses cloth diapers...so I did my best to accomodate her)

 

[DisneyBrideWannabe]

Re: Sajetto
Wow, did you have to invite the brother and sis-in-law to the reception dinner? Your sis has one loving and accommodating sister. Shouldn't your sis be the one picking up the tab since it is her choice? I mean, you shouldn't have to break the bank (this at least a $500 proposition).

 

[sajetto]

Re: Sajetto
Wow, did you have to invite the brother and sis-in-law to the reception dinner? Your sis has one loving and accommodating sister. Shouldn't your sis be the one picking up the tab since it is her choice? I mean, you shouldn't have to break the bank (this at least a $500 proposition).

No, I didn't invite them b/c I'm an intimate and I'm not even related to them. I picked up the tab b/c I thought it was the least I could do. Her husband bought diamond earrings for me as a wedding gift to wear during the ceremony that I can tell you are waaaaaaay over $500! They are a carat a piece set in platinum b/c I'm allergic to gold ( he has known this since I was a teenager and wanted to make a thoughtful gesture, which indeed he did! )

 

[spokanemom]

I warn you up front that this is not the answer that you are looking for, but you asked for opinions, so here goes...
If I were an invitee to a wedding and my children were uninvited, I would not go. If someone is wanting me to celebrate with them, spend my time and money to travel to a wedding (and bring a gift) I don't think that it is too much to ask that my family be invited, especially to Disney. This is supposed to be a celebration, everyone should be included. There will be hard feelings if the children are excluded. I have experienced this. It was not pleasant. Just my opinion.

 

[DisneyBrideWannabe]

I don't mean to speak for Sajetto, but I'm in the same boat and not having children come to the ceremony b/c we are having an intimate (mainly for budget reasons) so we can't have over 18 guests. We wanted the four young ones to come, but can't see bumping some other adults, especially since the young ones won't even enjoy or remember the ceremony. The children will still be coming to the reception dinner and all the other events, including the welcome dinner, Illuminations dessert reception, and farewell brunch. Plus they'll have time to spend at the parks, which is what they're looking forward to the most. This a small compromis we had to make so we could have our dream wedding.

 

[JessHooper]

I warn you up front that this is not the answer that you are looking for, but you asked for opinions, so here goes...
If I were an invitee to a wedding and my children were uninvited, I would not go. If someone is wanting me to celebrate with them, spend my time and money to travel to a wedding (and bring a gift) I don't think that it is too much to ask that my family be invited, especially to Disney. This is supposed to be a celebration, everyone should be included. There will be hard feelings if the children are excluded. I have experienced this. It was not pleasant. Just my opinion.

Hi Spokanemom,
I know that everyone is making a vacation with out wedding so family is definately going, but to be honest, I would feel the same way you do. I am just not prepared to spend $50 per child for them to waste it. Plus it would be saving the parents money so they didn't have to buy dresses or suits/tuxs for their kids. But thank you for sharing your opinion. I would never not say that their kids couldn't go to Disney.

 

[sajetto]

DisneyBrideWannaBe...that's fine speak for me all you want b/c we are indeed in the same boat. To be honest, since everyone in my wedding party understands the buget constraits we are under I would tell anyone offended by the fact that they can't bring their kids not to come. Why should I exclude vital members of my family like my Grandparents, his grandparents, aunts, and uncles b/c of someone's children, who BTW are so young they probably wouldn't even remember the nuptials? To me it would be offensive for someone to say "Well, if my kids can't come I'm not coming!" I would respond that I was sorry they felt that way and I'm sorry they won't be there. I think it is cruel to put a couple in that sort of situation knowing full well that the Disney wedding is their dream and that they are under a very tight buget...Whew! That was long winded but I just had to get that off my chest.

I guess I'm lucky, My family understands the deal and are just happy to know that they were thought of enough to get an invite.

 

[allisonswonderland]

I agree Sajetto- I just think of times that my 2b nephew has thrown fits at birthday parties b/c he has eaten the icing off his cake and wants another piece becaue the icing is messed up on his piece....I am not spending 9-15 bucks per slice for a child to play in his or her food, part of me thinks that parents should understand that this is a speacil day for the bride and groom and do babies belong at a wedding ceremony? To me it is almost too much to ask a 3 yr old to be quiet and pay attention, most just can not do that. A wedding is a major expense to people and I think the sense of entitlement that children should always be inculded is a bit crazy, especially when the prices are so high to begin with and for those brides having intimate ceremonies. I am a custom but limited to 65 people due to cost.

 

[DisneyDiva74]

JessHooper, I sympathize with your problem, since we are having the same one. I really hate to exclude anyone with kids, especially since they would be spending so much of their own money to fly down to Disney and for the hotel, but we aren't sure how we're going to afford the extra expense of a baby sitter (or several) during the reception. Also, by the time we added up all the kids that might come, there were about fifty!! (DH2B has a huge family and they all have TONS of kids.)
We think we might invite kids and pay for their food (the special kids meal), but leave it to their parents if they want to bring them along or not, knowing that we won't have any special provisions for them. We probably won't be providing a baby sitter or any special extras like toys, etc. We just can't afford it!!!
Good luck with your decision! Let me know if you come up with a brainstorm that I can steal!!!
Amanda

 

[DisneyBrideWannabe]

Sajetto: Totally understand!!! DF and I were worried at first to tell his sis and bro the little ones would miss this part, but they were actually fine with it. My mom said they are probably relieved b/c making little kids be quiet for like two hours in nice clothes in the heat can be a load on the parents. We are in NO way saying no kids at all, this is Disney, but I can;t see upgrading to a custom for four kids, all under 6.