Kids Say the Darndest Things

[NotUrsula]

Let's not forget how sneaky Art was. I have a copy of his memoir about doing the show, and he said that his ace-in-the-hole question was, "What did Mommy tell you NOT to tell me today?" Slick, that one.

 

[akelly]

Funny posts!

Just this morning I was telling my DD9 about something she said when she was about 3. We were going through the drive-thru at McDonald's. When we pulled around to the window and my DD9 saw the young lady working there, she blurted out, "Mommy, that lady looks like Fiona." Well, if you've ever seen Shrek you know that that no young lady would want to be told she looks like Fiona, nevermind that my DD thought it was awesome that she looked like Fiona.

Another time, when DD was 2 we were on a tour of a mansion's outdoor gardens during a vacation in New York. There were quite a few older couples around. DD is on my husband's shoulder and very loudly proclaims, "Look, that lady has socks on with her sandles." I can thank my oldest DD's fashion advice for that one.

 

[bcinohio]

When my DS was 3(he is now 16) we were on a trip to WDW and he was just potty trained. We didn't want any accidents so we would take him to the bathroom before we got into a big line. We would say, "It's time for you to take daddy potty" so he wouldn't think we were always making him go. It worked the first few times then when we said it again he looks up at me and says, "Can't grandma take daddy potty?"

We still laugh about it today!!

 

[bas71873]

These have really cracked me up. I thought of another zinger DD said a few months ago. She went on a tear over the winter with loosing some teeth and at some point she was trying to tell me something about her gums, but she referred to them as her "teeth holders". It took her telling me "teeth holders" several times before it finally dawned on me what she was talking about. Kids are too darn cute.

 

[Deesknee]

Another one...

At preschool age my triplets had just figured out they out number DH & I. While waiting for DH at the train station the kids start telling me about a little girl in their preschool class, they kept saying her name was Sugar. Not remembering anyone in their small class by that name I mentioned it to dh when he got in the car. He also didn't remember her. DM lived with us at the time, we mentioned it to her during dinner. She was surprised we had never met or heard of this child before either. At that time all three 4 year olds start laughing & inform us they were just "pulling our legs off".
We knew it was the beginning of the end.

 

[daddyof2]

My dd was about 3 yrs old and one day at church our friend Venus came into church a little late while every one was sitting and quiet she gets excited to see her and yells Hi Penus

while at disney my son 3 at the time said to my wife on about the 2nd or 3rd day "mommy I want to go home so you could make dinner and I could play with my lightning mcqeen

and about a week ago I was scolding my DD 9 I said that I was very angry about how her and her brother were behaving (my son was on a time out on the wall at the time and butted into the conversation by saying "You dont look very angry"

 

[ColleenG]

My DH is on our town's first aid squad and was helping with some repairs at the building. He had our DS4 with him, who announced, "My Daddy is the strongest....because he is so fat!"

 

[my3mice]

Several years ago we were in the living seas pavilion with my son (then 3). He was looking at the sting rays with his older brothers who pointed out a sign that said not to touch the sting rays.
When we walked over to them to see the sting rays also, he made sure to warn us "don't touch the stink rays... they have poopys"

 

[nursegirl]

Not Disney related, but last night while I was getting my 5 year old DS ready for bed, he says "Mommy, who is trusty Steve?" "What do you mean?" "You know, he rode in on his trusty Steve."

 

[Samar]

DD: (to her brother) Guess what? I have a BFF!

DS: So what? I have a PSP.

The kid apparently doesn't speak girly friend lingo

 

[CopasFamily]

My two y/o is a litany of strange sayings...I have some written down, but I'm too lazy to go find them right now...
She asks me every day, "Mickey Mouse Summer?" She's been doing that since we told her at 58 days until our vacation and now a 7 days I'm ready to not have to answer that anymore.
She calls Tinker Bell Taco Bell. She stopped calling me Mommy last week in favor of "Snow Wipe"...

DH:"Do we need a passport to go to Hawai'i?"
Me:*stare*

and this conversation:

DH:"I need AA batteries."
Me:"There are some right there."
DH:"They say Polaroid."
Me:"So?"
DH:"I don't need them for a camera."

 

[ajjollie23]

the other day my ds5 was playing with an interactive solar system and he asked his brother (2 1/2) if he wanted to discover pluto with him. DS 2 responded, "ok billy, but next can we discover Mickey Mouse"

 

[tweedlemom]

As a teacher, I would often tell my first grade students that their tests were "Easy as cheese!" so that they wouldn't get too nervous about them. One of my students piped up and said, "This test is as easy as pie!". I said, "That's great!". Another student then chimed in with, "This test is as easy as my MOM!"

 

[sk8jdgca]

We were at a wedding, my 3 year old son got ahead of me in the communion line and was given the wine. He looked up at the minister and very loudly for all to hear proclaimed " that's good stuff you've got in there!"

 

[fireflymedic]

(not DW)

My 4 yr. old asked how your body got to heaven when you died. I told him just your soul would go to heaven and I was pretty sure it was automatic.

he told me he might want to keep his body!

 

[santa's surpriz]

We were at a wedding, my 3 year old son got ahead of me in the communion line and was given the wine. He looked up at the minister and very loudly for all to hear proclaimed " that's good stuff you've got in there!"

That is too funny! I missed Sunday school services when my dd was 5. We went to the regular sedrvice later and she sat with me in the pughs. She walked up to the alter with me did not take communion but heard the "Body of Christ" and "Blood of Christ" parts of service. She went to school and told her friends that I took her to a place with a really important man in a pretty robe fed me blood and body parts! At the time I did not think of the impact it wouldhave on her bc it seemed pretty harmless, but our commmnity is diverse and there were a couple Muslim children in her class that beleived I ate and drank a real person. Luckily the teacher the teacher cleared up the situation. To this day we never missed Sunday School again!

 

[dyna]

My DD then 4 seen white cows with black spots an yells "LOOK DALMATION COWS!!!!"

 

[my3mice]

DH sliding in to relate a story -

Years ago, I was at the mall with a friend, we were christmas shopping for her husband. She asked if I could hold her infant while she went into the lady's room.

As I am standing outside the lady's room, cooing at the three month old, the door opens and a little girl - Shirley Temple reincarnated - chubby cherubic cheeks and ringlets and all comes skipping out humming. She takes one look up at me and gasps. Turns around and runs back into the lady's room yelling:

"Mommy Mommy - There's a big ugly hairy guy out here with a BABY!"

I have since shaved my head...

 

[MomRN]

I love this thread!

My story starts with my ds (3) coming out to the garage and telling me he has macaroni and cheese in his ear. So I grab a flashlight and head to the brightest room of the house to investigate. I try to bubble it out with peroxide, and while stuff is coming up, the object in question is not moving. I relent, call the on-call pedi nurse (since I work with an older population) to make sure there is nothing else I can do and it can wait until the morning. And so it begins...

We get the drs office. While in line to pay the copay my ds is announcing to anyone who will listen he has macaroni and cheese in his ear. We get downstairs and a resident comes in, one that I had worked with several times before. She checks out his ear, says she doesn't see anything (okay, maybe it fell out in the night), and my ds, in his typical way, asks her name...then says "Thank you Dr X, will you send in the REAL doctor." Very few times am I rendered speechless, but mumbled some excuse about maybe he wanted to see his dr.

Alas though, his dr wasn't in, and Dr "Green" was. Well, my ds son didn't believe Dr "Green" was Dr "Green" because he was wearing brown. So he quizzes him..."don't you know your colors?" and looks right at me "You got to be kidding me"

And, the ending to the story... I had got the mac and cheese out, but the unmoving object was a rock. "Oh momma, I forgot to tell you it was a rock then macaroni and cheese!"

 

[TaliaB]

At the time I did not think of the impact it wouldhave on her bc it seemed pretty harmless, but our commmnity is diverse and there were a couple Muslim children in her class that beleived I ate and drank a real person. Luckily the teacher the teacher cleared up the situation. To this day we never missed Sunday School again!

This reminded me of my DD3. Our community is also diverse. We were at the park when a woman wearing the hijab and her son arrived. This flustered my daughter and I didn't get it. We teach her to accept and love everyone. So I ask her what's going on and she says ''If she puts a hat because it's cold, Why doesn't she put one on her son?''

If the lady wouldn't have laughed, I would've died.