Kids & Electronics rant

[TheGoofster]

First of all, let me say, that I totally see the original posters view. Too many kids nowadays just have no concept of what it means to participate in an actual conversation. If we go out to eat (or some other event) with friends, I make sure that my kids at least look like they are paying attention (no games, phones, or whatnot).

But, let me also give another point of view. Because of our job, my wife and I are with our kids 24/7. I love my kids, I really, really do, but to be honest there are times that I just want to be able to talk to my wife uninterrupted. So, sometimes when we go out to eat (just the 4 of us), I will not only allow my kids to play with a DS or cell phone, but I might even encourage it.
Being able to talk to my wife uninterrupted for even just 1/2 an hour can seem like a real treat. Again, if there are other people with us, then no way, but if it's just the 4 of us, then sometimes, yeah, my kids will play with an electronic device - with the volume turned all the way down (if I can hear it, it's way too loud).

Thankfully my kids are very good at talking to people (of pretty much all ages), so I'm not too concerned about a 1/2 hour or so of not participating in our conversation. If we didn't spend so much time together, and get in a lot of conversation time, then I'm sure I would be right there with everyone else in forbidden these items, but in our case, I don't mind it.

 

[rparmfamily]

So how do you handle it when the culprit is an adult? DH is terrible about surfing the web on his Blackberry while we're out eating. It drives me nuts. Last time we went for pizza, I sent him to get me a drink refill and I hid his phone while he was away from the table. He actually got irritated at me.

Ditto. I tell DH he is going to end up a divorced man. He's out of control...taking it in the bathroom, in the car, our bedroom, restaurants, kids' events, Christmas dinner, game night with friends,etc you name it.

Luckily our kids have and follow rules about electronics. I don't want them to grow up acting like DH. Sad, eh?

 

[Wall-E1]

In my younger, more ignorant days, I used to look at the Amish and feel sorry for them and all the things that they were missing. These days I look at the Amish and feel sorry for us and all the things that we are missing.

 

[PatriciaH]

Uggg... my friend did this the last time she came to visit us. Had just got a new phone and would not put it down! To the point I was sitting at meals staring ahead blankly while she texted/Facebooked away. She was letting her little one wander off in the parks and parking lots (3) expecting everyone else to watch her while she was glued to the phone!

 

[wenrob]

So how do you handle it when the culprit is an adult? DH is terrible about surfing the web on his Blackberry while we're out eating. It drives me nuts. Last time we went for pizza, I sent him to get me a drink refill and I hid his phone while he was away from the table. He actually got irritated at me.

Before we had eldest DD, DH and I regularly went without using seat belts. When we had DD I began wearing mine with the knowledge that one day she would ask why she had to wear hers and I didn't have to. I went back and forth with trying to get him to wear one and then presented him with that very argument, "What are you going to say when she asks why you don't have to obey the rules?" He's worn a seat belt ever since.
Same thing applies to electronics. We, the adults do not answer the phone, text or anything else during dinner or when doing things as a family unit. That simple, we're not allowed so neither are you.
I really, truly believe if it's something that can't be let go for an hour it's an addiction and needs a stop put to it. We do not need to be connected 24/7.

edited: I realize you may not have kids? In that case I would tell DH I feel ignored. When mine got so wrapped up with chat rooms that he wasn't even hearing me I purposely ignored him to show him how it felt. Maybe passive aggressive but it worked.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I'm going to fess up & admit that I *sometimes* allow my DD9 to play with her DS at the table in a restaurant. One couple we go out with often has no kids and DD gets positively bored listening to us chat. We allow her to play with her DS after the meal is finished (or before it comes--never while eating) with the volume turned all the way down.

However if its just our family or there's another kid with us, she is not allowed to play at the table.

I find that absolutely no different than a pp saying they find it perfectly allowable for their child to read at the table.

We have allowed our children, on occasion to use electronics, to read or to gasp, use the coloring placemats and crayons to keep them entertained during a long wait. All three are no different than the other.

As in all things, there is moderation. A DS while waiting (with volume muted or earphones) and then put away when food comes is absolutely no different than a child coloring and then putting the crayons away when the food comes or the child that is given a magazine to entertain themselves.

Moderation. Even the OP, who started this thread, said that occasionally checking texts while at the table has proved to be very beneficial, ie: when their friends texted them they would be late. She turns off her phone, but knows that her calls will be redirected to her husband's phone, whose phone is not turned off.

As for adults, there are numerous different professions where the adults are on call and no, the call cannot wait an hour. For instance, my guess is that if a loved one was having a heart attack, you wouldn't want the cardiologist to have his phone off, saying it can wait an hour. A system failure at VISA would create havoc across the country and people would not be very happy if the techies said "oh, I have to finish my dinner, it can wait an hour." So, yes, there are many, many people out there who need to be attached to their technology and it cannot wait an hour.

My husband checks texts/calls about every 15 minutes, even during dinner. If a call or text comes in, he will check quickly at the table and if something needs more attention, he will excuse himself and go take the call in the lobby or elsewhere.

 

[mvazul]

In my younger, more ignorant days, I used to look at the Amish and feel sorry for them and all the things that they were missing. These days I look at the Amish and feel sorry for us and all the things that we are missing.

I have ALWAYS wished I could be Amish.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

It's not just kids, at least as far as cell phones are concerned. I think it's one of the major problems with common courtesy today.

 

[wenrob]

I find that absolutely no different than a pp saying they find it perfectly allowable for their child to read at the table.

We have allowed our children, on occasion to use electronics, to read or to gasp, use the coloring placemats and crayons to keep them entertained during a long wait. All three are no different than the other.

Actually I think it's a little different in that when a kid is coloring they are more likely to be engaged with the people around them. Asking what color to use, help with the crossword, playing tic tac do with someone else etc. Video games and reading are more solitary/isolated and do not engage the people around them. Not saying it's right or wrong just IMHO there is a difference.

 

[rparmfamily]

So how do you handle it when the culprit is an adult? DH is terrible about surfing the web on his Blackberry while we're out eating. It drives me nuts. Last time we went for pizza, I sent him to get me a drink refill and I hid his phone while he was away from the table. He actually got irritated at me.

My husband takes it with him EVERYWHERE. He'll claim it's for work.

Seriously, we had a big discussion last night about this. He just does not get it! He does not see that it's rude.

 

[bumbershoot]

Another "kids these days" thread....

I tell ya, adults these days...saying and doing exactly what adults throughout the ages have said and done, the only difference being the exact things the "kids" are doing.....




My brother and I read ALL the time. Past tense and present tense for the word "read". Growing up we always had books, especially when visiting our dad. Especially with my brother, who barely knew our dad, it kept him from being bored out of his mind.

I see it as being almost no different. I'm sure I listened to my tapes on my Walkman, cutting edge technology, when some adults those days thought I shouldn't.

 

[C.Ann]

It's not only rude, but these children are going to be clueless when it comes to a point where they actually have to interact with someone - vocally, eye-to-eye.. Their social skills will be zilch and then the parents will be sitting around wondering why..

As for adults engaging in this type of behavior in public, it's pretty much ignorance and that "me" mentality..

Although electronics are certainly helpful, in the long run I think we're going to see a lot of damage that has been caused by many of these gadgets as well..

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

So how do you handle it when the culprit is an adult? DH is terrible about surfing the web on his Blackberry while we're out eating. It drives me nuts. Last time we went for pizza, I sent him to get me a drink refill and I hid his phone while he was away from the table. He actually got irritated at me.

I've been hinting and usually DH respects it.

But if he refuses to stop--I will threaten to smash it. If he can be rude....then so can I.

He usually has some sort of justification--but it is extremely rare that it is a good justification.

 

[clovergirl5]

Actually I think it's a little different in that when a kid is coloring they are more likely to be engaged with the people around them. Asking what color to use, help with the crossword, playing tic tac do with someone else etc. Video games and reading are more solitary/isolated and do not engage the people around them. Not saying it's right or wrong just IMHO there is a difference.

I totally agree...either mom, dad, brother/sisters help each other or play little games on the paper while we are waiting. No way are we interupting someone else's meal. We are bonding actually Ds's or cellphones/ipods--at least when I see my kids with them, you can call their names and they don't hear me It irritates the crap outta me. They are zombie-eyes when they are holding any of those things, lol. Jmo of course

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I find that absolutely no different than a pp saying they find it perfectly allowable for their child to read at the table.

We have allowed our children, on occasion to use electronics, to read or to gasp, use the coloring placemats and crayons to keep them entertained during a long wait. All three are no different than the other.

As in all things, there is moderation. A DS while waiting (with volume muted or earphones) and then put away when food comes is absolutely no different than a child coloring and then putting the crayons away when the food comes or the child that is given a magazine to entertain themselves.

Moderation. Even the OP, who started this thread, said that occasionally checking texts while at the table has proved to be very beneficial, ie: when their friends texted them they would be late. She turns off her phone, but knows that her calls will be redirected to her husband's phone, whose phone is not turned off.

As for adults, there are numerous different professions where the adults are on call and no, the call cannot wait an hour. For instance, my guess is that if a loved one was having a heart attack, you wouldn't want the cardiologist to have his phone off, saying it can wait an hour. A system failure at VISA would create havoc across the country and people would not be very happy if the techies said "oh, I have to finish my dinner, it can wait an hour." So, yes, there are many, many people out there who need to be attached to their technology and it cannot wait an hour.

My husband checks texts/calls about every 15 minutes, even during dinner. If a call or text comes in, he will check quickly at the table and if something needs more attention, he will excuse himself and go take the call in the lobby or elsewhere.

I get your point---

But there is no way that an entire restaurant is filled with cardiologists and high level technicians for VISA.

Some people justify their actions when they have no more need to be wired than their 3yo.

(Not saying you---but when it is observed all over the place, it has gone beyond need and purely convenience/wants.)

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Another "kids these days" thread....

I tell ya, adults these days...saying and doing exactly what adults throughout the ages have said and done, the only difference being the exact things the "kids" are doing.....




My brother and I read ALL the time. Past tense and present tense for the word "read". Growing up we always had books, especially when visiting our dad. Especially with my brother, who barely knew our dad, it kept him from being bored out of his mind.

I see it as being almost no different. I'm sure I listened to my tapes on my Walkman, cutting edge technology, when some adults those days thought I shouldn't.

During a meal?

To me it isn't a "kids these days" so much as it is a common courtesy/etiquette issue.

 

[KimR]

Yes, it's rude but not much different than getting up from the table every 15 minutes or so to check the score of the game. Or when you go to a family gathering and everyone is glued to the TV. I think this same issue was probably discussed years ago - same problem, different medium.

 

[wenrob]

Another "kids these days" thread....

I tell ya, adults these days...saying and doing exactly what adults throughout the ages have said and done, the only difference being the exact things the "kids" are doing.....




My brother and I read ALL the time. Past tense and present tense for the word "read". Growing up we always had books, especially when visiting our dad. Especially with my brother, who barely knew our dad, it kept him from being bored out of his mind.

I see it as being almost no different. I'm sure I listened to my tapes on my Walkman, cutting edge technology, when some adults those days thought I shouldn't.

I would not have dared to try and bring my Walkman to the dinner table let alone out to dinner. I may have been a bratty, obnoxious teenager but I knew my limits.

A question I have for everyone in general is: Why do we feel our kids need to be entertained? Don't they have to learn patience too? And why can't they have a conversation with the adults at the table?

 

[wenrob]

Yes, it's rude but not much different than getting up from the table every 15 minutes or so to check the score of the game. Or when you go to a family gathering and everyone is glued to the TV. I think this same issue was probably discussed years ago - same problem, different medium.

(apologies for the double post, I forgot to hit multi-quote)

No it's not different, it's just as rude and inconsiderate and not allowed during dinner in my home either. My BIL does this when we are invited to Sis house for dinner and he does it when he comes to mine. I find it unbelievably rude and no longer go to Sis house for dinner unless he's working and tell her I will not cater to him watching TV in the living room while we all eat at the table. He never comes with his family to gatherings at my house anymore which I find really sad. You'd rather stay home and watch TV then spend time with your family?

 

[jodifla]

(apologies for the double post, I forgot to hit multi-quote)

No it's not different, it's just as rude and inconsiderate and not allowed during dinner in my home either. My BIL does this when we are invited to Sis house for dinner and he does it when he comes to mine. I find it unbelievably rude and no longer go to Sis house for dinner unless he's working and tell her I will not cater to him watching TV in the living room while we all eat at the table. He never comes with his family to gatherings at my house anymore which I find really sad. You'd rather stay home and watch TV then spend time with your family?

I try to accommodate my guests. I'd just set up a TV in another room for him at my house, and I'd never DREAM of trying to tell others they couldn't catch a game that's important to them. (And god save the person who tried to separate me from my Gator football game.)

You have pretty stringent rules on how you expect others to behave. What's the point?