Kids and rated R movies

[aprilgail2]

. I don't really want to explain to my kids just yet what a BJ is, so sexual content is out.

lol some kid at school took care of that for me- he told most of the kids-my daughter included- in 5th grade all about that in much detail. All i had to do was confirm that it was indeed true when she asked me about it lol.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

Oh wow! I can't imagine being OK with my kids watching someone get their head blown off and being uncomfortable with sexual dialogue.
At the off chance that kids do grow up to repeat what they see on TV, I'd rather mine end up having tons of sex than murdering people. But that's just me!

And on the other hand I cannot imagine a parent LETTING their child watch a movie where it has scenes of 2 adults having sex or showing nudity. They know what a naked body looks like. They have one. But to let young kids see grown ups naked and doing sexual things, to me, is perverse.

 

[Magpie]

lol some kid at school took care of that for me- he told most of the kids-my daughter included- in 5th grade all about that in much detail. All i had to do was confirm that it was indeed true when she asked me about it lol.

This happened to us, too, except that kid was riding the kindergarten school bus with my children.

I immediately alerted their kindergarten teacher when I heard about it and her reaction was very telling. She rolled her eyes and said, "Oh no, not again! Okay, I'll have a chat with the class."

I was volunteering that day, so I got to hear her explain to all the 4 and 5yos, "Sometimes when two ADULTS love each other very much..." and all the kids going, "Ew! Gross!"

It really makes you wonder how much kids hear from other kids, that we never find out about... (Maybe because they're trying to preserve our parental innocence. )

 

[scrapquitler]

In our house, it depends on the movie. My DD is 14, and has been seeing some R rated movies for about a year, but it depends on what it is. I'll admit that we let her watch most horror movies and a lot of action flicks and scif, but those with sex/drug use we don't allow. It just depends. If she were a different kid, we might have different kind of 'rules' about this.

 

[Magpie]

And on the other hand I cannot imagine a parent LETTING their child watch a movie where it has scenes of 2 adults having sex or showing nudity. They know what a naked body looks like. They have one. But to let young kids see grown ups naked and doing sexual things, to me, is perverse.

There's obviously a HUGE line between showing young children hard core porn, and showing them a brief scene in a film that's about something else entirely. I never realized there was any sex in Smokey and the Bandit, until I saw it again much later and realized that the "one thing" he takes his hat off for isn't to kiss pretty girls, it's to get naked behind a bush with them!

I'm not sure who said it exactly (one source says Rita Rudner), but I've always liked the quote about, "If you show a man touching a woman's naked breast, you'll get an R rating. But if you show a man cutting that naked breast off with a chainsaw, that's still a PG-13."

 

[furb & dez]

I can't imagine the rationale behind sheltering a child, and then vomiting them out into the world. The entire purpose of my being, as a parent, is to educate my children about the world around them. No matter how awkward a subject, I will brooch it! That's my job. If I couldn't handle it, then I wouldn't have burdened my children with my position as their mother.

Why can't there be more parents like you? Most of the one I see are more interested in being "friends" with their children instead of actually parenting them.

And I agree, it's a parent's JOB to educate and prepare your child for the world, regardless of how squeamish you may be.

 

[SookieStackhouse]

My parents didn't really "let" me watch R rated movies. However, I saw a few... The Breakfast Club being one of them!

I was in college before I could watch R rated movies.

 

[Scrappy_Tink]

lol some kid at school took care of that for me- he told most of the kids-my daughter included- in 5th grade all about that in much detail. All i had to do was confirm that it was indeed true when she asked me about it lol.

Geeze Louise!! And to think, 18 years ago my biggest worry was someone busting out Santa Claus!!!!

 

[Rora]

I wasn't allowed to watch R movies until I was 17!

 

[Scrappy_Tink]

Depends. Mine are 13 and 15, and we started letting them watch certain specific episodes of South Park years ago.

South Park is certainly TV-MA, I think...

I don't remember exactly when we sat the kids down and made them watch the Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride episode. My husband thinks our son was seven. The point is, we'd seen the episode and we decided it was something the kids needed to see, since there were topics in there that we wanted to discuss with them. We also showed them episodes on child sexual abuse, economics, Christianity, etc...

Of course, not everything we show them is educational. When Snakes on a Plane came out on video in 2007, the kids were keen to see it and so were we. So we had ourselves a "Snakes on a Plane" evening, with our 9 and 11yos.

The point is, we watch TV together.

IMO, I don't see plopping kids on the sofa and making them watch TV shows, beyond their maturity, as educational. This is why there are 5th graders "educating" other kids about BJs. I think when parents voice their concerns about their children watching nudity, it's more about the promiscuity and morals (or lack thereof) that they are trying to shield their children from. Its our job to educate our children, but also to protect them. There is a total loss of innocence when you start exposing your children to sexually explicit material....why would a parent want to take the magic out of being a child? IMO there's a big difference between sitting little Johnny down and explaining why Susie has two Mommies in general terms vs making them watch Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat.

 

[IDoDis]

I may be confused - I thought the Change Up was the Bateman/Reynolds Freaky Friday/the one with Judge Reinhold/ the one with Matt Perry/etc. body swap thing. It looked terrible but the most offensive thing from the previews seemed the unending poop jokes.

There was a lot more than poop jokes! On a scale of 1-10 for sex/nudity content, kidsinmind.com gave it a 9.5. It was directed by the same people who did The Hangover. If you want to take a peek at some of the crudeness in this movie, just peek here.

http://www.kids-in-mind.com/c/changeup.htm

I saw the Change Up this weekend. It has very bad language and nudity, etc. There was a boy in there I would say around 11. I'm sorry but i would never bring my kid to a movie like this. It was a hilarious adult movie but it made me uncomfortable knowing a child was viewing the same things I was.

My friend wanted to bring her 14 year old DD with us to the movie. I told her I didn't think it was appropriate and there's no way my DD 15 would be watching. Her DD ended up not going because she made plans with a friend. After the movie my friend said, "I'm so glad DD didn't come. OMG!! " And this is from a parent who lets her kids see anything without restriction.

Funny part here is that The Change Up movie here in Canada is 14A and not restricted. My son wants to see it and he is 14 right now.

He as seen other movies that were rated R in the U.S. If you watch night time TV there is a lot of sexual content in that too these days. No Happy Days or Brady Bunch for these kids.

If The Change-Up is a 14A, what the heck would be higher than that? It was a pretty crude movie. Funny, but sexually crude.

I didn't know the Breastfast Club was rated R.

I had to reread this. At first I thought you typed, "The Breastfed Club." I thought it was a documentary on breastfed children!

 

[mjantz]

Oh wow! I can't imagine being OK with my kids watching someone get their head blown off and being uncomfortable with sexual dialogue.
At the off chance that kids do grow up to repeat what they see on TV, I'd rather mine end up having tons of sex than murdering people. But that's just me!

I'm not comfortable with realistic violence (like Saving Private Ryan) but I'm OK with what I would call cartoon-ish violence like what you see on Spiderman or Captain America. My kids (& they're 11 & 14 FWIW) know that Spiderman isn't real so the violence they see isn't real. They've also been to Renaissance Festivals where the jousting includes a 'kill' & have seen the guy get up & walk away afterwards. They understand special effects & that its fake. As I said, they haven't watched movies with realistic violence or what I'd call 'slasher movies' but they have seen movies with fantasy violence. They know its not right to kill people.
AFA sex, sexual situations & nudity, its not just the act, its everything around the act or the situation or the nudity. We believe that sex is great but its also not something to be casual about. You don't let your hormones control your brain. Also, when a guy gets shot in a movie, its not real. There are blood packs & stunt guys & computer effects & tons of other stuff that make it not real. When a guy puts his hands or mouth on a womans chest he really is doing that to her. Yes, I've heard over & over again that shooting a sex scene is the most unsexy thing in the world. I also know there are movies with unsexual nudity like Schindler's List. However, that movie is difficult for ME to watch so I'm not sure if I'd want to subject my kids to that.
I will say this: If anyone can give me examples of movies where sex within marriage is shown as a positive thing within a loving relationship I'd probably let my oldest watch that. However, what I tend to see are situations of 'we've been out on a few dates so lets have sex' which does not mesh with our values.

 

[NAB]

There was a lot more than poop jokes! On a scale of 1-10 for sex/nudity content, kidsinmind.com gave it a 9.5. It was directed by the same people who did The Hangover. If you want to take a peek at some of the crudeness in this movie, just peek here.

http://www.kids-in-mind.com/c/changeup.htm



If The Change-Up is a 14A, what the heck would be higher than that? It was a pretty crude movie. Funny, but sexually crude. :

We do have R rated movies. Bridesmaids was one of them. But by the link you provided for The Change Up , it should be rated R for the all that nudity. Have you seen the movie personally? Wonder if the wirte up is true? It does sound bad in that article. With that much nudity and sex you would think it would be "R" here but I know it is not. The Hangover was R I believe.

 

[Magpie]

IMO, I don't see plopping kids on the sofa and making them watch TV shows, beyond their maturity, as educational. This is why there are 5th graders "educating" other kids about BJs. I think when parents voice their concerns about their children watching nudity, it's more about the promiscuity and morals (or lack thereof) that they are trying to shield their children from. Its our job to educate our children, but also to protect them. There is a total loss of innocence when you start exposing your children to sexually explicit material....why would a parent want to take the magic out of being a child? IMO there's a big difference between sitting little Johnny down and explaining why Susie has two Mommies in general terms vs making them watch Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat.

I didn't "make" 'em. I allowed them to watch those particular episodes, because I though they had some redeeming value in terms of the message being conveyed and were good discussion starters. The kids themselves had been begging to see the show for a couple of years, since several of their friends were already watching it.

And I have NO issues discussing sex with the kids. In my opinion innocence and ignorance are not the same thing at all.

(Plus, South Park is hardly "sexually explicit". The jokes are a bit raunchy, but it's a loooong way from being Debbie Does Dallas.)

 

[Scrappy_Tink]

I didn't "make" 'em. I allowed them to watch those particular episodes, because I though they had some redeeming value in terms of the message being conveyed and were good discussion starters. The kids themselves had been begging to see the show for a couple of years, since several of their friends were already watching it.

And I have NO issues discussing sex with the kids. In my opinion innocence and ignorance are not the same thing at all.

(Plus, South Park is hardly "sexually explicit". The jokes are a bit raunchy, but it's a loooong way from being Debbie Does Dallas.)

My apologies! I thought when you said you made them sit down and watch it, that you meant you made them sit down and watch it.

 

[dandave]

I'm not comfortable with realistic violence (like Saving Private Ryan) but I'm OK with what I would call cartoon-ish violence like what you see on Spiderman or Captain America. My kids (& they're 11 & 14 FWIW) know that Spiderman isn't real so the violence they see isn't real. They've also been to Renaissance Festivals where the jousting includes a 'kill' & have seen the guy get up & walk away afterwards. They understand special effects & that its fake. As I said, they haven't watched movies with realistic violence or what I'd call 'slasher movies' but they have seen movies with fantasy violence. They know its not right to kill people.
AFA sex, sexual situations & nudity, its not just the act, its everything around the act or the situation or the nudity. We believe that sex is great but its also not something to be casual about. You don't let your hormones control your brain. Also, when a guy gets shot in a movie, its not real. There are blood packs & stunt guys & computer effects & tons of other stuff that make it not real. When a guy puts his hands or mouth on a womans chest he really is doing that to her. Yes, I've heard over & over again that shooting a sex scene is the most unsexy thing in the world. I also know there are movies with unsexual nudity like Schindler's List. However, that movie is difficult for ME to watch so I'm not sure if I'd want to subject my kids to that.
I will say this: If anyone can give me examples of movies where sex within marriage is shown as a positive thing within a loving relationship I'd probably let my oldest watch that. However, what I tend to see are situations of 'we've been out on a few dates so lets have sex' which does not mesh with our values.

I don't tend to watch a great deal of movies, so I really don't have any examples off the top of my head. My 16 yo DS is at the movies now. I have no idea what he's watching, as he hadn't decided when he left. I'm fine with whatever he chooses.
If your children are intelligent enough to know that movie violence isn't real, then surely they could comprehend the fact that movie sex isn't real.
I guess I just don't see sex as unwholesome or unnatural, therefore, I don't see any reason to pretend that people aren't having it - with and without a marriage license. To me, it's far more agreeable to see two adults in a sexual situation on a movie screen or on TV than two see two adults trying to murder one another or even watching kids bully other kids. Some of those smart mouthed, spoiled brat, kids on the Disney shows are the worst examples for kids to watch.

 

[Magpie]

My apologies! I thought when you said you made them sit down and watch it, that you meant you made them sit down and watch it.

Oh... *goes back, rereads post* Yeah, I see how you got that! My first paragraph said "allowed". I wrote "make" in the second, because we didn't actually allow them to watch just any old episode, we had them watch specific episodes that we considered passably appropriate.

In other words, it was never an issue of just plopping ourselves down as a family and watching whatever showed up on TV. Instead we'd be watching TV without the kids, and part way through an episode my husband and I would look at each other and say, "You know, this one wouldn't be bad for the kids to see."

So we'd record it. Then we'd say to to kids, "Guess what, there's an episode of South Park you can actually see, because it's a darn good summation of the stuff you've been seeing on the news."

The kids would go, "Yay! South Park!"

We'd say, "We're going to discuss the theme after the show. There WILL be analysis."

And the kids would go, "Yay! South Park!"

In theory I suppose at 13 and 15 they could now probably watch any South Park episode they like, but they're not interested in the show any more. They've moved on to watching The Bang Theory, instead. And Bugs Bunny. They're been completely enraptured by classic Looney Tunes lately.

So I think we went backwards down the rating system...

 

[Magpie]

I don't tend to watch a great deal of movies, so I really don't have any examples off the top of my head. My 16 yo DS is at the movies now. I have no idea what he's watching, as he hadn't decided when he left. I'm fine with whatever he chooses.
If your children are intelligent enough to know that movie violence isn't real, then surely they could comprehend the fact that movie sex isn't real.
I guess I just don't see sex as unwholesome or unnatural, therefore, I don't see any reason to pretend that people aren't having it - with and without a marriage license. To me, it's far more agreeable to see two adults in a sexual situation on a movie screen or on TV than two see two adults trying to murder one another or even watching kids bully other kids. Some of those smart mouthed, spoiled brat, kids on the Disney shows are the worst examples for kids to watch.

ITA - I couldn't stand those tween Disney shows, either. We never had them on in our house. That's the advantage to having the TV in a central area where everyone watches it. It's not so much an issue of forbidding certain shows, it's an issue of everyone (including Mom and Dad) having to agree on what we're going to see.

 

[princessmom29]

And I have NO issues discussing sex with the kids. In my opinion innocence and ignorance are not the same thing at all.

ITA with this, but feel it applies to violence as well. Sometimes, the world we live in isn't a pretty one.

Agian, it is not the sex or nudity I object to, but the context in which they are presented in most cases. Casual sex is outside of or values as a family, just as unecessary violence is. I don't allow movies that contian more than a passing amount of either. It is not about the marrige liscense for me, but about healthy relationships and how to build them,. Having sex with someone you barely know is NOT going to build a solid relationship.

 

[timmac]

DS10 has seen plenty of R movies, though I (as does his mom) filter out many based on content, either from my own experience having seen the movie, or from what I read about it. Heavy drug use and/or sexual content are usually the primary reasons I'll veto a movie.

DD9 and DD7, on the other hand, rarely even watch a PG-13. Not only are they potentially scared by the content, but they just aren't that interested in most of the genres.

DS4 is somewhere in between, oddly enough. While I definitely wouldn't let him watch the same stuff as DS10, there's plenty of PG-13 movies (think action style or comic book based based) that he enjoys viewing with his older brother.

Largely, I think it depends on the child. DS10 loves heavy action, appreciates history, and takes a lot of interest in army and war related topics. He also pretty consistently demonstrates that he can handle the subject matter well. DDs are still into happy fuzzy bunnies and princesses only, and don't much enjoy movies that have too many 'scary parts'. DS4 just likes fun and action.