Kids and rated R movies

[DisneyBamaFan]

My boys are 11 and 14. My 14 yo is very mature. We let him watch anything up to MA. My 11 yo son is very sensitive. We do not let him watch moview with violence or scary movies. He does not respond well to them - even the milder ones (sleep walking, nightmares, etc).

I do not believe in sheltering my boys from nudity. We think it is natural.

 

[bellebud]

as far as the sexual content... those of you that allow sexual content for your younger kids, would you let them watch "get him to the Greek?" where I don't even think there's actual real nudity, but there's a long scene of a threesome, and there's obvious different types of sex going on, etc (under the sheets, but completely obvious). That's the sexual content I'm referring to.

The bed scene in Iron Man was them falling into bed, kissing, then it's the next morning. That type, I'm ok with. You don't see them doing the act under the sheets or real foreplay (besides kissing). My kids are 10 and 11, and I don't want them seeing people... (I don't know what I'm allowed to type here) 'finishing' their sexual encounter. At least not as we're watching it on *family movie* night (LoL).

DD11 (almost 12) and her friends are starting to get more curious about that stuff. She asks me questions, the mom of her bff told me funny stories about her own dd asking her questions, etc. They're asking moms, talking about it with each other, figuring it all out. I'm sure they're searching for things like this and talking to each other (and us moms, thank goodness!), but they're going into 7th grade and this is the natural time. But again, not for *family movie night*.

So Iron Man, absolutely fine, Get Him to the Greek, no.

 

[ChattaAlley]

I saw the Change Up this weekend. It has very bad language and nudity, etc. There was a boy in there I would say around 11. I'm sorry but i would never bring my kid to a movie like this. It was a hilarious adult movie but it made me uncomfortable knowing a child was viewing the same things I was.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

as far as the sexual content... those of you that allow sexual content for your younger kids, would you let them watch "get him to the Greek?" where I don't even think there's actual real nudity, but there's a long scene of a threesome, and there's obvious different types of sex going on, etc (under the sheets, but completely obvious). That's the sexual content I'm referring to.

The bed scene in Iron Man was them falling into bed, kissing, then it's the next morning. That type, I'm ok with. You don't see them doing the act under the sheets or real foreplay (besides kissing). My kids are 10 and 11, and I don't want them seeing people... (I don't know what I'm allowed to type here) 'finishing' their sexual encounter. At least not as we're watching it on *family movie* night (LoL).

DD11 (almost 12) and her friends are starting to get more curious about that stuff. She asks me questions, the mom of her bff told me funny stories about her own dd asking her questions, etc. They're asking moms, talking about it with each other, figuring it all out. I'm sure they're searching for things like this and talking to each other (and us moms, thank goodness!), but they're going into 7th grade and this is the natural time. But again, not for *family movie night*.

So Iron Man, absolutely fine, Get Him to the Greek, no.

I always thought about it in a different way. If they are thinking about it, it is time to confront it. When we watch a movie that introduces something new or different, I try to talk about it with my boys after the movie (religion, politics, sex, drugs - whatever). So, in a way, movies sometimes actually help me to open a discussion that we need to have, anyway.

 

[bellebud]

I always thought about it in a different way. If they are thinking about it, it is time to confront it. When we watch a movie that introduces something new or different, I try to talk about it with my boys after the movie (religion, politics, sex, drugs - whatever). So, in a way, movies sometimes actually help me to open a discussion that we need to have, anyway.

Well, we are confronting it (we talk about things all the time when the kids come up and ask questions, or I just feel it's time), but I'm not going to watch someone having an "O" with my 10yo and 11yo kids. We're very open with each other, but saying "see that honey, that's what it looks like when you have an "O"... I don't know, that's just not something I'm comfortable with.

The kids see/hear plenty from movies, x-box, and their friends, then come to myself or dh, we talk, explain things, etc.

 

[Gigi22]

Agreed with the PP from the UK--we live in Canada and can always tell when we are watching an even slightly 'racy' movie on an American t.v. station--a lot more is edited out. DH and I look at each other and ask ourselves, "Wasn't that scene longer? Oh, this is an American channel."
Back in the day "To Sir with Love" was R-rated here--the reasons given by the censor at the time were the length of the girls' skirts (60s minis) and the language. I was in h.s. at the time, and I saw short skirts and heard foul language on a daily basis in h.s. Thought it was stupid to give it an R rating, but I waited to see it until I was 18.

 

[shortbun]

Yeah, we did fantasy violence and language at about 14. We still haven't alllowed the sexual content because we attend the R's with him and we're not ready to sit next to him while he watches with his friends. None of the other parents will do it either so I guess we're average. The boys are 15-16 now. I'm allowing all violence and language though. They hear it all in their music which we also allow. So far, I've made two mistakes. One was HellBoy, the terror violence was too strong. The other was Tropic Thunder. I'd read three sites and still missed a graphic 'talk' by Jack Black. Sitting beside my 14yo during that scene was possibly the most embarrassing time we've had to date. So, we had a very long talk after that. Sometimes, you just can't find the info you need on a movie to prescreen properly.

 

[bellebud]

Yeah, we did fantasy violence and language at about 14. We still haven't alllowed the sexual content because we attend the R's with him and we're not ready to sit next to him while he watches with his friends. None of the other parents will do it either so I guess we're average. The boys are 15-16 now. I'm allowing all violence and language though. They hear it all in their music which we also allow. So far, I've made two mistakes. One was HellBoy, the terror violence was too strong. The other was Tropic Thunder. I'd read three sites and still missed a graphic 'talk' by Jack Black. Sitting beside my 14yo during that scene was possibly the most embarrassing time we've had to date. So, we had a very long talk after that. Sometimes, you just can't find the info you need on a movie to prescreen properly.

we've watched Hellboy a lot of times, and I can't recall the scenes you're talking about. Also, we've watched Tropic Thunder, but I'm also not recalling that scene either (I need to see a movie at least twice to really 'remember' it). I'll have to keep my eyes open for that one next time it's on.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

My kids will be permitted watch just about anything with me or another adult present, and as for without me, they can go into the movies alone when the movie folks say they're old enough. If they have enough wherewithal to sneak into a higher rated movie, though I don't necessarily approve, then they deserve the fruits of their labor. I don't do censorship.

You know, a couple months back DH and I went to a movie after hours at a mall where the policy was that under 17 you needed to be accompanied by an adult into the theatre at that time of day (regardless of what movie you were seeing). DH got carded. I busted out laughing. "He's 33!" I said. Then I thought, "Wait a minute...I'm younger than he is...why didn't I get carded?"

 

[bellebud]

DH got carded. I busted out laughing. "He's 33!" I said. Then I thought, "Wait a minute...I'm younger than he is...why didn't I get carded?"

oh, that's funny!! I hate when people call me "Ma'am"... what happened to "Miss"? Crap, I'm getting old! LOL!

 

[princessmom29]

I totally agree... I've never understood why parents would let their children watch someone be murdered (something one would hope their children would never do), but would get all bothered about physical intimacy (which is something they'll eventually enjoy many, many times).

Talk about mixed messages...

Here is the difference for me:
In our value system, sometimes, killing the bad guy is necessary. This is true in any war situation, and sometimes in our own backyards. It is the reality of the world we live in. Bad things happen to good people as well. Violence just for the sake of violence, torture scenes, ect, she is not ready to deal with. It prompts many discussions about right and wrong, good and evil, and how that line can be blurred by some people.

Sex with just anyone is NEVER necessary, and is totally outside our value system. We choose to teach our child that sex is emotionally important and not to be entered into just becuase. Iti s not recreational activity. This kid of sexual content in a movie is not omething we want her seeing.

 

[mjkacmom]

Dd15 has no restrictions (I still remember my mom coming to the movie theater when I was 12, to tell them it was okay for me to see Hair, with full frontal nudity). I didn't let ds13 see The Hangover (apparently I'm the only one who said no), but he did watch Beer League with his dad and the guys. Forgot about the part when the stripper shot ping pong balls out of her hoo-ha... But, according to ds (who is very honest), he's seen much worse on his friends' computers.

 

[Acklander]

as far as the sexual content... those of you that allow sexual content for your younger kids, would you let them watch "get him to the Greek?" where I don't even think there's actual real nudity, but there's a long scene of a threesome, and there's obvious different types of sex going on, etc (under the sheets, but completely obvious). That's the sexual content I'm referring to.
no.

I haven't heard of get him to the Greek but from your description it doesn't sound like something DS11 would ask to see so therefore we wouldn't go. This summer we've gone to see pirates, Harry potter, green lantern, something with an x in the name (can't for the life of me remember what it's called) and hangover 2. I have no idea what any of them are rated and all movies were chosen based on previews..

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Well, we are confronting it (we talk about things all the time when the kids come up and ask questions, or I just feel it's time), but I'm not going to watch someone having an "O" with my 10yo and 11yo kids. We're very open with each other, but saying "see that honey, that's what it looks like when you have an "O"... I don't know, that's just not something I'm comfortable with.

The kids see/hear plenty from movies, x-box, and their friends, then come to myself or dh, we talk, explain things, etc.

Sorry - I did not mean to imply that you should consider changing anything. I just wanted to offer a different point of view.

 

[punkin]

I'm overly permissive, I guess. DD12 watches just about anything. She's currently into horror movies, which I hate, so she watches them with her friends who are also the same age, so I guess other mothers are also permissive.

 

[Anne34]

My son is 14 1/2 and we allow *most rated R movies. It really just depends on the movie and why it has the rating.

My kids are 13 (14 in 2 weeks) 16 & 18 -- we let them watch most things. We took all 3 to an R rated movie a few weeks ago. There weren't too many kids there, but it was a Sunday night.

 

[bellebud]

Sorry - I did not mean to imply that you should consider changing anything. I just wanted to offer a different point of view.

and your point of view is a very good and valid one too. Anything that opens the lines of communication w/ our kids is great!

 

[Magpie]

I'm overly permissive, I guess. DD12 watches just about anything. She's currently into horror movies, which I hate, so she watches them with her friends who are also the same age, so I guess other mothers are also permissive.

Us, too! Except we watch everything with our kids. Has your daughter seen Repo, the Genetic Opera? (I DON'T recommend it for 12yos - or practically anyone really - but my kids both love it, and I think it's hilarious, and gruesome, and wrong in SO many ways.)

A lot of sexual content just goes over kids' heads, if they're not ready to understand it. I remember watching Ghostbusters with my kids when they were about five and seven. My son (the 5yo) started laughing during the part where a character is getting molested by a sexy lady ghost. He said, "That lady ghost is trying to play with his ZIPPER!"

Over all, I think you have to decide based on your child. It's an individual parenting decision, and there isn't one right answer for everyone. I'm not a stickler for the "rules" - my mother used to lie about my age all the time to get me into planetarium shows when I was a little girl, and I'm grateful she did!

 

[famousmockingbird]

This is pretty much how I feel too. My DD15 has been watching R rated movies since she was about 12. . .depending on what the R is for. She's always been very mature for her age though.

Maybe it's because my Dad would drag us to all the Dirty Harry movies when we were young and I was only 6 when the first one came out. . ., but I'm fairly lenient when it comes to ratings. The only thing that I really hold back on is gratuitous, violent horror movies. My DD15 loves them, and I let her watch. . .but not me. .. hate them! And I don't let my DS11 or my DD9 watch them. They have all seen The Shining though.

I took my DD15 and 6 of her friends to see Jack*ss 2 for her birthday. I think the R rating for that is dumb! Who but immature teens would even want to see that?! I must confess. . .I laughed. . .I gagged!

I'm just not a shelter my kids kind of person, I guess. And I have no respect for the "ratings" system. Have you seen This Film is Not Yet Rated? The entire system is a farce.

This is pretty much my point of view, also. I let my 10 year old watch some things that are rated R, but I have almost always seen them first. He's seen Dawn of the Dead and Night of the Living Dead. I think that R rated movies made in the 70's and early 80's tend to be a little tamer than R ratings of today (in some ways) and I typically don't have a problem with car crashes, a little violence, language, etc. I think you just have to watch with them and be on hand to answer any questions. I think every kid is different. I know my kid and what he can handle. He's never been one to be afraid of something he watches on a movie, so I don't mind zombie or vampire movies. He's begged for two years to watch Halloween, but I still think we are a couple of years away from that.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

This is funny because we were just talking about this at work. A girl I work with has a 9 year old who is watching PG-13 movies. A customer thought it was her duty to lecture the mom about letting her daughter watch a PG-13 movie (it was a HP movie). Then when the girl I work with told everyone about it, we all reminisced about the times in high school about the random few kids who were not allowed to watch R rated movies until they were actually 17. Or even ANY high school kid who wasn't allowed to watch an R rated movie.

Then I thought, maybe I should ask the DIS. Then I look and someone already has asked. I'm a little surprised there are more people here than I though who don't have kids we would have made fun of in high school (not overly made fun of, friendly making fun of to people we were actually friends with).