Kids and rated R movies

[Mickey Fliers]

Great question. My DS 13 (almost 14) is really wanting to watch Zombieland. He loves the zombie genre and has t-shirts, has read World War Z and watches The Walking Dead (on AMC). I think he is able to watch this no problem, but the bigger problem is his 12yo brother that thinks he can do whatever his big brother does. Ugh.

 

[jwfla422]

Not judging at all but I am curious. Why do some feel violence is OK but nudity is not? I feel the opposite. Maybe I'm odd.

Nope, totally agree with you...I was scrolling through the posts wondering the same thing?? OK, so it's ok for our kids to watch people shoot each other and bloody violence, but god for bid, anything related to sex is a no-no?? I dont' get it either...


As far as the ratings are concerned, I think it mostly has to do with your child's maturity and what they understand and how they relate to it. It may also have to do with your own beliefs and you have to do what YOU feel is right for your child. Once upon a time, kids under 17 could not see a movie in the theater without a parent if it was rated R. (there was no PG-13 either) There were no videos or DVDs and when it finally came to TV it was edited. Now, it's not so tough for kids to rent an R rated movie or even to watch that type of content online.

 

[furb & dez]

You're not alone. I wouldn't care about nudity certainly nor really sexual content. Violence however...l:

I totally agree... I've never understood why parents would let their children watch someone be murdered (something one would hope their children would never do), but would get all bothered about physical intimacy (which is something they'll eventually enjoy many, many times).

Talk about mixed messages...

 

[hambirg]

You're not alone. I wouldn't care about nudity certainly nor really sexual content. Violence however...

The MPAA in general is a totally ludicrous organization with less-than-rigorous guidelines and judging.

My parents didn't care at all - I loved horror movies as a kid, we went to whatever we wanted once we were old enough to go to the movies alone, and rented whatever and if I passed by porn on cable it was no deal. Didn't bother me any.

This is pretty much how I feel too. My DD15 has been watching R rated movies since she was about 12. . .depending on what the R is for. She's always been very mature for her age though.

Maybe it's because my Dad would drag us to all the Dirty Harry movies when we were young and I was only 6 when the first one came out. . ., but I'm fairly lenient when it comes to ratings. The only thing that I really hold back on is gratuitous, violent horror movies. My DD15 loves them, and I let her watch. . .but not me. .. hate them! And I don't let my DS11 or my DD9 watch them. They have all seen The Shining though.

I took my DD15 and 6 of her friends to see Jack*ss 2 for her birthday. I think the R rating for that is dumb! Who but immature teens would even want to see that?! I must confess. . .I laughed. . .I gagged!

I'm just not a shelter my kids kind of person, I guess. And I have no respect for the "ratings" system. Have you seen This Film is Not Yet Rated? The entire system is a farce.

 

[Scrappy_Tink]

OT, but kind of funny! We were raised in a strict Baptist household.....no R Rated movies until your 18!!! One night my sister and neighbor (also a member of the church) snuck into a R-Rated movie. They were giggling and talking about it in the church bathroom the next day....then they heard "the flush", and out walks my mom from the bathroom stall!!! my mom still loves telling that story, even tho it happened nearly 30 years ago. . I've always restricted the blood/guts and movies with sexual content from my boys when they were growing up. Not so worried about the language.....unfortunately they hear sewer talk at school every day.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I totally agree... I've never understood why parents would let their children watch someone be murdered (something one would hope their children would never do), but would get all bothered about physical intimacy (which is something they'll eventually enjoy many, many times).

Talk about mixed messages...

This is very much my take on it.

I am fine with nudity and language in movies and most sexual situations really too (healthy relations, not anything that is really violence as well or just really overt or over the top and the focus of the movie). I figure my kids can see things that are adult things and know they will participate in them as adults some day. Just like they see adults driving and know they cannot drive yet but will some day
I don't want them EVER participating as a victim or perpertrator of violence so that bothers me a whole lot more.

At 12 and 14 though I really make the judgement based on the individual movie (actually that is how I have always done it). They have seen many R rated films over the years (heck, DD owned one--given to her by DS--when she was maybe 9; Stand By Me). I don't limit too much anymore, but both tend to self limit (both dislike violence, DS12 will walk out of things he is seeing with friends that are rated for his age because the violence bothers him).

 

[IDoDis]

I don't allow movies with crude sexual stuff. The fake comic strip type of violence like Transformers, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings etc.. I'm fine with and let my kids watch those PG-13 movies when they were young. I think DS's first PG-13 movie was Spiderman when he was 3 or 4 years old.

My DD is 15 and is not allowed to watch rated R movies. Recently I went with a friend to a sneak preview of "The Change Up." One person in line had her teenage son with her (he looked like 13 or 14 yrs old). The movie people said "This is a hard R movie that we don't recommend for your son." The woman smiled and said, "That's okay." He was the only teen in the theater.

After watching that movie, there's no way I'd let either of my kids watch it. Kids are not adults and they are not at the maturity level to understand things at that level when they've never experienced things even remotely close to these situations.

 

[Principessa1284]

Some of you parents make me giggle.. as far as strictness goes, my parents were middle of the road. The stuff they didn't let me watch, I watched at one friend's house who had an older brother who let us watch whatever we want. Another friend of mine was forbid to watch anything more than sesame street so she watched some stuff at my house.. and sometimes when we went to the movies to see a PG or PG-13 when we were 12/13/14, it was quite easy to slip over to the theatre next door to see that R rated movie we wanted to see.

So... you can forbid your kids to watch stuff as much as you want, but if they want to see something, they're going to. Heck, redbox doesn't exactly have an ID checker on it. All you can do it be honest and encourage them to make good choices.

 

[cornflake]

I may be confused - I thought the Change Up was the Bateman/Reynolds Freaky Friday/the one with Judge Reinhold/ the one with Matt Perry/etc. body swap thing. It looked terrible but the most offensive thing from the previews seemed the unending poop jokes.

Great question. My DS 13 (almost 14) is really wanting to watch Zombieland. He loves the zombie genre and has t-shirts, has read World War Z and watches The Walking Dead (on AMC). I think he is able to watch this no problem, but the bigger problem is his 12yo brother that thinks he can do whatever his big brother does. Ugh.

Zombieland is a great movie and if he likes zombies and comedy he'd probably love the Dawn/Day of the Dead franchise. The original is a little dark but campy and they get kind of progressively ridiculous and camptastic.

 

[mjantz]

My DS is 14. He has been allowed to watch 2 R-rated movies (Terminator & The Matrix). In general though, the limit is PG-13.
AFA nudity vs violence there are a few reasons. First, I don't like the objectification of (typically) the female body in many movies. Also, many sexual situations deal with sex out of marriage or casual, 1 night stand sex & that's not in our religious values. Violence I can 'explain away' as not real & most of what he's seen is cartoon-level (More Captain America than Saving Private Ryan). But when a guy puts his hands on a woman he is really touching her in that manner. He may be an actor in a role but he has still done 'those things'. Yes, I know that the actual act is simulated but lots of lead-up isn't.

I know that my opinion is not everyones & that is OK. We all do the best we can do.

 

[Squidgyness]

I totally agree... I've never understood why parents would let their children watch someone be murdered (something one would hope their children would never do), but would get all bothered about physical intimacy (which is something they'll eventually enjoy many, many times).

Talk about mixed messages...

Not wishing to stereotype cultures here, since of course there are exceptions to this but...

In general I have come to the conclusion that American TV/Movie culture is far more concerned about Sexual things than Violence, at least in comparison to the UK where I live.

You would be shocked at some of the things that are on TV in England at 10 or 11pm (and it is easy for a child to stay up past bedtime) or even in some cases 9pm. Graphic programs giving sex tips and the history of pornography for example.

Even before 9pm you get frank discussions of sexual orientation, sexual health and other topics.

When I have been in the states, I see very little of this, but similar amounts of violence to English TV. Of course, this must come with the caveat that I have not seen all american networks, just some of the mainstream ones, so dont assume I am assuming this is a black and white thing. More different shades of grey

 

[Acklander]

We don't really follow the ratings. If he likes a movie, we watch it. If not, we don't. The first r rated movie he saw was schindler's list when he was about 7. He doesn't watch horror movies or slasher type movies as he doesn't like all the violence in them. So far, no traumas, and he's able to distinguish between a movie and reality.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Not judging at all but I am curious. Why do some feel violence is OK but nudity is not? I feel the opposite. Maybe I'm odd.

I will tell you why I am more liable to let my kids watch violence over sex.

Embarrassment. My embarrassment.

My kids know better than to kill people. Watching a movie with violence isn't going to turn them into sociopaths. My kids also know when we feel it is acceptable for them to start having sex, and how people shouldn't be objectified as things to lust over.

But, I just don't want to be sitting with my kids in a movie theatre when pair of breasts pop on the screen, or worse, a full frontal shot. I'm just not comfortable sharing that kind of moment with my kids.

Iron Man had a scene with Tony and a journalist in bed. And a scene with poll dancers in an airplane. We felt a little uncomfortable with our kids seeing that, but it wasn't the end of the world.

Now, as for violence, we don't let them see stuff too graphic. I think the worst was Captain America. Although we just told our daughter (14) she could watch Sweeney Todd, after we warned her how graphic it was. Our son, 11, wouldn't be allowed to watch that yet.

 

[gillep]

This is pretty much how I feel too. My DD15 has been watching R rated movies since she was about 12. . .depending on what the R is for. She's always been very mature for her age though.

Maybe it's because my Dad would drag us to all the Dirty Harry movies when we were young and I was only 6 when the first one came out. . ., but I'm fairly lenient when it comes to ratings. The only thing that I really hold back on is gratuitous, violent horror movies. My DD15 loves them, and I let her watch. . .but not me. .. hate them! And I don't let my DS11 or my DD9 watch them. They have all seen The Shining though.

I took my DD15 and 6 of her friends to see Jack*ss 2 for her birthday. I think the R rating for that is dumb! Who but immature teens would even want to see that?! I must confess. . .I laughed. . .I gagged!

I'm just not a shelter my kids kind of person, I guess. And I have no respect for the "ratings" system. Have you seen This Film is Not Yet Rated? The entire system is a farce.

I loved this documentary and will never be able to understand why parents allow complete strangers, with unknown values, to dictate to them what their children are able to watch.

My parents let me watch pretty much whatever I wanted to from a very early age. I especially loved horror films, and sci fi films; my dad was a huge movie person and he would always watch all of the movies with me and would be right there to explain to me what was going on or the difference between the real world and movies. This system worked really well for my family as I was very mature for my age (my mom has always said that I was born as a 40 year old), and I don't scare easily especially if it is just in fake movies. Now that I am older I still appreciate all types of movies and for me the ones that I hate the most are the ones that over use bad language, sometimes I feel that movies go way over the top with language without adding anything to the film and I usually don't finish those movies.

 

[golfgal]

I agree, the comic strip type violent movies, not a huge deal, but until the kids were in high school, the graphic sexual movies, no. I remember a couple years ago DS19 was going to a movie at the theater with some friends and I said "isn't that rated R"--not so much that it was rated R but him being able to get into the movie. He looked at me and said, "Mom, I'm 17"--oh yeah, I forgot

 

[PollyannaMom]

It definitely depends on the kid and the movie here.

 

[Nancy]

Some of you parents make me giggle.. as far as strictness goes, my parents were middle of the road. The stuff they didn't let me watch, I watched at one friend's house who had an older brother who let us watch whatever we want. Another friend of mine was forbid to watch anything more than sesame street so she watched some stuff at my house.. and sometimes when we went to the movies to see a PG or PG-13 when we were 12/13/14, it was quite easy to slip over to the theatre next door to see that R rated movie we wanted to see.

So... you can forbid your kids to watch stuff as much as you want, but if they want to see something, they're going to. Heck, redbox doesn't exactly have an ID checker on it. All you can do it be honest and encourage them to make good choices.

LOL, so true.

I never really restricted my kids as to what they could watch other than when they were under 12/13..then no R rated depending on why it was R. I was against graphic violence and the gratuitous sex scene tossed into a movie that had zero to do with the movie plot..language was no biggie since their father has a horrendous trash mouth and from a very young age they were taught not to say what Daddy says. Nudity? In itself doesn't bother me. Bloody graphic violence is worse to me. Anyhow, they knew what movies I thought were OK to watch, but I also knew that they would find a way to watch what they wanted.

 

[aprilgail2]

Last month we took my 11 year old daughter and five of her friends to see the midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I think that was rated R but I dont even know. I dont have a set age or film type that i go by. Nudity i dont mind male or female but not real graphic sex yet!!!

 

[Sparx]

I recommend that everyone watch This Film is Not Yet Rated and read up on the Blue Valentine controversy. I think websites that list the actual things that happen in movies are much more useful than the rating system. Websites like this review of Rise of the Planet of the Apes http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/rise-planet-apes

 

[ebtbmom]

Some of you parents make me giggle.. as far as strictness goes, my parents were middle of the road. The stuff they didn't let me watch, I watched at one friend's house who had an older brother who let us watch whatever we want. Another friend of mine was forbid to watch anything more than sesame street so she watched some stuff at my house.. and sometimes when we went to the movies to see a PG or PG-13 when we were 12/13/14, it was quite easy to slip over to the theatre next door to see that R rated movie we wanted to see.

So... you can forbid your kids to watch stuff as much as you want, but if they want to see something, they're going to. Heck, redbox doesn't exactly have an ID checker on it. All you can do it be honest and encourage them to make good choices.

I really agree with you, I was totally this kid. My mom tried very hard to control everything I was exposed to and it drove me insane!!! I would always go to my best friends house (who's mom was a little clueless) and watch precisely what I wanted to. I wasn't even allowed to watch The Simpsons for goodness sake! I've tried not to be so restrictive with DS because it has really effected the relationship I have with my mom still to this day.

My DS is 14. He has been allowed to watch 2 R-rated movies (Terminator & The Matrix).

I guess he's seen 2 rated R movies, I didn't realize The Matrix was rated R? We watched the trilogy a couple of weeks ago and he loved it, though the thought that we could all be plugged into machines and not know it freaked him out for a few days-sure it did many of us too though!

Not wishing to stereotype cultures here, since of course there are exceptions to this but...

In general I have come to the conclusion that American TV/Movie culture is far more concerned about Sexual things than Violence, at least in comparison to the UK where I live.

You would be shocked at some of the things that are on TV in England at 10 or 11pm (and it is easy for a child to stay up past bedtime) or even in some cases 9pm. Graphic programs giving sex tips and the history of pornography for example.

Even before 9pm you get frank discussions of sexual orientation, sexual health and other topics.

When I have been in the states, I see very little of this, but similar amounts of violence to English TV. Of course, this must come with the caveat that I have not seen all american networks, just some of the mainstream ones, so dont assume I am assuming this is a black and white thing. More different shades of grey

Yes, we went to Ireland in May and the first couple of nights I had a hard time sleeping and was flipping through the channels . Very surprising! Interesting the differences in the culture.

He wants to watch Saving Private Ryan too, what do you guys think of that? I've actually never seen it but DH has and because of my son being really into history and wars and stuff they want to watch it together. Basically if I let him go see a comedy with me, DH feels like he should be able to let him see Saving Private Ryan.