Kid who does not want to ride

[mindeola]

To some of these other comments:

I do not understand forcing kids to do rides? I was a kid who did not like roller coasters. Me not getting on a coaster affects absolutely no one. I am 45 and turned out just fine. Choose your battles. I have a fear of heights and I do not like drops. There are rides I have decided to try over the years. Most, I still do not like. It is not my thing. If it isn't your kids thing, why not understand that?

I will never forget seeing parents trying to force their small child to ride dinosaur. he screamed bloody murder through the entire que. They were pulling him to the entrance and he was digging in his heels and trying to get his hand out of theirs . It was awful Everyone in line was appalled. He was not being a brat or just simply scared. he was terrified! Thank God, the CM's did not let them board with him.

 

[Klayfish]

To some of these other comments:

I do not understand forcing kids to do rides? I was a kid who did not like roller coasters. Me not getting on a coaster affects absolutely no one. I am 45 and turned out just fine. Choose your battles. I have a fear of heights and I do not like drops. There are rides I have decided to try over the years. Most, I still do not like. It is not my thing. If it isn't your kids thing, why not understand that?

I will never forget seeing parents trying to force their small child to ride dinosaur. he screamed bloody murder through the entire que. They were pulling him to the entrance and he was digging in his heels and trying to get his hand out of theirs . It was awful Everyone in line was appalled. He was not being a brat or just simply scared. he was terrified! Thank God, the CM's did not let them board with him.

Each to their own, certainly. It's up to the parent to decide that or not. As I said, I'm a big supporter of forcing them to try a ride (presuming no true medical/etc..issues). When you're 45, you have a lot of life experiences and have a good handle on what's "your thing" and what isn't. Even at that age, you still often try new things. But at age 6, 7, 8 or younger kids may not know what "their thing" really is. DD9 would have sworn to you when she was 5 or 6 that roller coasters were not her thing and were death machines. But I also know that was just in her head, she had never really been on any. So yeah, I absolutely forced her to try. Started off small, with Goofy. I will never forget that first ride. Shaking and tears getting off, screaming like a lot of people do on coasters and then grinning ear to ear when she got off. Then one step bigger, etc... Now, holy moly, she's a coaster dare devil. If I hadn't forced her, I wouldn't have all these wonderful memories of riding RnR and such with her...and my boys. I forced all my kids to ride ToT a few times. My boys said they didn't really care for it after the 2nd or 3rd time they rode it. Cool, no problem, glad they tried it.

 

[TwoLittlePrincesses]

Anxiety is a horrid and potentially debilitating beast. While some may see this as "no big deal" to allow a kiddo to skip rides because they are afraid to ride, for a child with anxiety, allowing them to skip out on things that make them anxious can make the problem much worse in the long run. Here's a great article with a few tips to help address anxiety.

https://childmind.org/article/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-children-are-anxious/

FWIW, my 10 year old DD has experienced anxiety throughout her life, including while at WDW. She was terrified of BTMRR up until she was 7, when we had her ride, despite her being horribly anxious about it. Same with Splash (which is now her all-time favorite ride), and just a few weeks ago, Space Mountain. While I didn't drag her on kicking and screaming, there were a few tears, and some near-panic moments. I used each experience as a teaching opportunity to help her be brave and face her fears head on. She has been so proud of herself for overcoming her fears of rides and has gotten stronger and stronger with her ability to cope with anxiety. It has really been a very positive life lesson for her, and one that will serve her well in the future.

 

[TwoLittlePrincesses]

And for adults with anxiety, this is by far the best book written on the topic, IMO!

https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety...8&qid=1489601247&sr=8-1&keywords=dare+anxiety

 

[KrazeeK120]

To some of these other comments:

I do not understand forcing kids to do rides? I was a kid who did not like roller coasters. Me not getting on a coaster affects absolutely no one. I am 45 and turned out just fine. Choose your battles. I have a fear of heights and I do not like drops. There are rides I have decided to try over the years. Most, I still do not like. It is not my thing. If it isn't your kids thing, why not understand that?

I will never forget seeing parents trying to force their small child to ride dinosaur. he screamed bloody murder through the entire que. They were pulling him to the entrance and he was digging in his heels and trying to get his hand out of theirs . It was awful Everyone in line was appalled. He was not being a brat or just simply scared. he was terrified! Thank God, the CM's did not let them board with him.

Completely agree. I like some rides, but not all. Motion simulators make me horribly sick (like Star Tours), and I just plain don't like the way my stomach feels on big drops. I would never, ever want someone to force me onto a ride, and I try to keep that in mind when it comes to my child. Like, how would I feel in his shoes? I will never, ever force him onto a ride. It's just a ride. There is no point to making him be scared on vacation. just because I'm mom and I'm bigger doesn't give me the right to treat him in a manner in which I, myself, would not want to be treated. Besides, there are so. Many. Things. To do at Disney besides rollercoasters.

 

[GrrArrgh]

I think that some of the "kiddie" rides, like the Barnstormer and Dumbo can be way scarier than 7DMT or even Everest. On the Barnstormer, that thing feels like you could go flying off the track. And there isn't anything up there to obscure your view to make you feel less exposed. I did not enjoy it, or Dumbo, but I did enjoy 7DMT, which feels much safer. The walls on the car were high and I could enjoy the ride rather than worry about toppling out. I don't push my daughter to ride anything she doesn't want to. She loves coasters, but not everybody needs to. Anxieties are real and powerful and I'd rather she be able to trust that I'm not going to force her to do something at an amusement park.

 

[wilkeliza]

Anxiety is a horrid and potentially debilitating beast. While some may see this as "no big deal" to allow a kiddo to skip rides because they are afraid to ride, for a child with anxiety, allowing them to skip out on things that make them anxious can make the problem much worse in the long run. Here's a great article with a few tips to help address anxiety.

https://childmind.org/article/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-children-are-anxious/

FWIW, my 10 year old DD has experienced anxiety throughout her life, including while at WDW. She was terrified of BTMRR up until she was 7, when we had her ride, despite her being horribly anxious about it. Same with Splash (which is now her all-time favorite ride), and just a few weeks ago, Space Mountain. While I didn't drag her on kicking and screaming, there were a few tears, and some near-panic moments. I used each experience as a teaching opportunity to help her be brave and face her fears head on. She has been so proud of herself for overcoming her fears of rides and has gotten stronger and stronger with her ability to cope with anxiety. It has really been a very positive life lesson for her, and one that will serve her well in the future.

And for adults with anxiety, this is by far the best book written on the topic, IMO!

https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety...8&qid=1489601247&sr=8-1&keywords=dare+anxiety

That is great that this worked for you and your daughter but not everyone with anxiety and panic disorders will have the same affect. I have a panic disorder and PTSD from child hood abuse. I can 100% tell you if my fight or flight mechanism gets thrown for a loop that going through it and forcing myself to "deal" is not the correct method. Thankfully it has only happened 1 time in a theme park as I enjoy them way to much to have that taken away. Again it is great that the method worked for you but please understand that it does not work for everyone and it is beyond a life lesson. Some of us are pretty tired of being told to face it and it'll get better because we know that isn't the case.

 

[TwoLittlePrincesses]

That is great that this worked for you and your daughter but not everyone with anxiety and panic disorders will have the same affect. I have a panic disorder and PTSD from child hood abuse. I can 100% tell you if my fight or flight mechanism gets thrown for a loop that going through it and forcing myself to "deal" is not the correct method. Thankfully it has only happened 1 time in a theme park as I enjoy them way to much to have that taken away. Again it is great that the method worked for you but please understand that it does not work for everyone and it is beyond a life lesson. Some of us are pretty tired of being told to face it and it'll get better because we know that isn't the case.

I'm so sorry to read about your experience. The book isn't about "dealing" with anything. It is a step by step guide for recovering from anxiety and panic.

 

[hdnwaters]

We took my DD to WDW the first time at age 8. Our first park was DHS (MGM) at the time. We rode most of the rides including the now extinct back lot tour, plus we watched the IJ stunt show. At the end of the afternoon, she said she wanted to ride TOT. We did not force the issue and headed for the line. The TOT at the time had no seat belts or handles. Just a common row lap bar, I'll have to admit it was really a "Tower of Terror"! Can you say Free Fall! My poor DD pretty much refused to ride anything else the entire trip. We spent the rest of the our trip getting character photos and autographs. I was really disappointed because it had been years since I had been to WDW and there was so much I wanted to do. We returned to WDW and Universal the next year and my DD said "No water, No fire, No guns, and No drops" At US, she cried all through Terminator 3D (sat in my lap and clawed the crap out of me 'cause she overheard there was "a drop", she hid her face in my lap all through Jaws. At that point DH had had enough....they went off to get Ice Cream and I rode alone! Bottom line....it's best not to force a young child to ride. It can make everyone's trip miserable.

I would use the rider swap, ride alone, or take turns riding with the other children. I personally would be hesitant to leave a child alone. JMO. FYI.....DD was 26 before she got on TOT again and I actually thought I was going to have to walk her out before the ride. She was going to panic! She laughs about now and will actually let go of the handle to wave at the top!

 

[BrianL]

I think there is a line between strongly encouraging a kid who is apprehensive to ride and forcing a kid who is terrified. I don't think any good comes from the latter, but certainly trying to get a kid to step outside their comfort zone and try new things isn't a bad thing, even if they are scared. If they are truly terrified, then I would say it is best to take a pass on a ride and try to discuss the matter in a less intense setting. Then, should they want to try again, give it another shot. Of course, this will vary a bit based on the kid.

 

[Camshell]

Anxiety is a horrid and potentially debilitating beast. While some may see this as "no big deal" to allow a kiddo to skip rides because they are afraid to ride, for a child with anxiety, allowing them to skip out on things that make them anxious can make the problem much worse in the long run. Here's a great article with a few tips to help address anxiety.

https://childmind.org/article/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-children-are-anxious/

FWIW, my 10 year old DD has experienced anxiety throughout her life, including while at WDW. She was terrified of BTMRR up until she was 7, when we had her ride, despite her being horribly anxious about it. Same with Splash (which is now her all-time favorite ride), and just a few weeks ago, Space Mountain. While I didn't drag her on kicking and screaming, there were a few tears, and some near-panic moments. I used each experience as a teaching opportunity to help her be brave and face her fears head on. She has been so proud of herself for overcoming her fears of rides and has gotten stronger and stronger with her ability to cope with anxiety. It has really been a very positive life lesson for her, and one that will serve her well in the future.

My child has anxiety too. I concur with your post that you need to therapeutically parent a child through anxiety, or in the long run they become more rigid. There should never be any force, but more of a "wiggling" them out of their comfort zone so they can become desensitized to the anxiety provoking thing. Our psychologist also introduced "realistic thinking" steps and body relaxation techniques to help face the fears. They have worked for us, but it is an ongoing process with new anxiety popping up. It is important for your child to feel they can overcome their anxiety and not let it stop them from participating in life. Given my kiddo's issues I would not have forced him on a ride, but I would definitely use it as a teachable moment to get him working on his anxiety (like watching a video of the ride, standing in line for the ride) even if he didn't ride the ride. Of course you need to pick what you are going to work on. I'd probably prioritize the ride lower, unless you child really wanted to ride the ride but the anxiety was stopping them.

I do wonder if there is a difference between someone that is just scared to ride a ride, versus someone that had generalized anxiety about it.

 

[wilkeliza]

We took my DD to WDW the first time at age 8. Our first park was DHS (MGM) at the time. We rode most of the rides including the now extinct back lot tour, plus we watched the IJ stunt show. At the end of the afternoon, she said she wanted to ride TOT. We did not force the issue and headed for the line. The TOT at the time had no seat belts or handles. Just a common row lap bar, I'll have to admit it was really a "Tower of Terror"! Can you say Free Fall! My poor DD pretty much refused to ride anything else the entire trip. We spent the rest of the our trip getting character photos and autographs. I was really disappointed because it had been years since I had been to WDW and there was so much I wanted to do. We returned to WDW and Universal the next year and my DD said "No water, No fire, No guns, and No drops" At US, she cried all through Terminator 3D (sat in my lap and clawed the crap out of me 'cause she overheard there was "a drop", she hid her face in my lap all through Jaws. At that point DH had had enough....they went off to get Ice Cream and I rode alone! Bottom line....it's best not to force a young child to ride. It can make everyone's trip miserable.

I would use the rider swap, ride alone, or take turns riding with the other children. I personally would be hesitant to leave a child alone. JMO. FYI.....DD was 26 before she got on TOT again and I actually thought I was going to have to walk her out before the ride. She was going to panic! She laughs about now and will actually let go of the handle to wave at the top!

I have heard some pretty gnarly stories about the communal lap bar. I'm kind of sad I never got to experience the true "Terror" of the Tower of Terror haha.

 

[scrapquitler]

To some of these other comments:

I do not understand forcing kids to do rides? I was a kid who did not like roller coasters. Me not getting on a coaster affects absolutely no one. I am 45 and turned out just fine. Choose your battles. I have a fear of heights and I do not like drops. There are rides I have decided to try over the years. Most, I still do not like. It is not my thing. If it isn't your kids thing, why not understand that?

I will never forget seeing parents trying to force their small child to ride dinosaur. he screamed bloody murder through the entire que. They were pulling him to the entrance and he was digging in his heels and trying to get his hand out of theirs . It was awful Everyone in line was appalled. He was not being a brat or just simply scared. he was terrified! Thank God, the CM's did not let them board with him.

It's hard to see something like that and know for sure what's going on. I think you have to let parents decide for their own kids....they know their kid, and you don't. I have a two children who would never do ANYTHING if we didn't push and sometimes FORCE them to do things. So many times they have whined and complained about things (Rock n Roller Coaster, TOT to name two) in line and you probably would have thought we were being cruel. But after they rode those rides, they were thrilled and asked to ride again immediately. Some kid just don't do change or deal with the unknown well, and if they need to be pushed, the parents know that.

 

[MickeyMinnieMom]

I do not understand forcing kids to do rides? I was a kid who did not like roller coasters. Me not getting on a coaster affects absolutely no one. I am 45 and turned out just fine. Choose your battles. I have a fear of heights and I do not like drops. There are rides I have decided to try over the years. Most, I still do not like. It is not my thing. If it isn't your kids thing, why not understand that?

First, I'd just say that we NEVER dragged our kids on a ride kicking, screaming, and/or crying - NOTHING like that. Have we pushed them to "try it just once" -- like we do with a new food? Yes.

I don't think that at 8, 9, 10 years old kids definitively KNOW what "their thing" is yet. Part of how we see our job as parents is to encourage them to 1) try new things, and 2) step outside of your comfort zone every now and then.

If they try it and decidedly do not like it, we don't force them to do it again. DS loves RnR but HATES the last drop on Splash -- ok! He only KNOWS that because we pushed him to TRY IT ONCE!

 

[mi*vida*loca]

If there are only very few rides my kid would ride I would choose another vacation destination. Maybe do WDW without them at a later date.

My DS was afraid of coasters for a while. We would put him on a bench with a snack and he would wait. We started this when he was 9/10. Once DD hit 5 he couldn't let her upstage him (she will literally ride anything) so he rode them and noticed he liked them all. Now he's not into riding Space 5 times in a row but he'll do it once or twice.

We did "force" him to do Splash and a few tamer rides that he thought were bigger. His favorite ride in all of WDW is Splash. He has ridden it 10 times in one day. I didn't force him on EE or RnRC.

 

[MichaelWill&Megan'sMom]

I may get flamed for this, but truth be told, we had our DS, who had just turned 10 at the time, wait for us at a designated bench or other spot because not every ride offers a chicken exit. We did leave him with a cell phone. I felt like he was capable to wait and he did NOT want to go with us in the line.

ETA: Sadly, he still will only ride a very few rides. He just has too much anxiety over them and maybe motion sickness - but mostly anxiety.

We do the same thing! My middle child (currently 11) is not a fan of many rides. He has been on them all at least once and prefers not to do some again. He waits and plays on his iPod on a bench while we ride. That is the cost of wanting to sit it out. You won't have any issues. He has a phone of his own now, but previously, we left one of our phones with him just in case.

 

[DisneyOma]

I won't flame you! I'm wondering if he will be nervous to go into the lines even, so this is a good thought. My son has a lot of anxiety surrounding rides too. He doesn't even want to do dumbo bc of the height.

Has he watched them on YouTube? Maybe check online for some Imagineer videos on how the rides are put together? (and have you thought about some anti-anxiety meds for him? I love my anti-anxiety meds - they are the only reason I can fly in an airplane!)

I have had some CMs allow my son to sit in the child swap area to wait, but that was a while ago. Not sure if this is still allowed at Disney. Last time we were at Universal (6 months ago) they were enforcing a 14 and up age to wait alone in this area. He was 12 so I was going to let him go the gift shop area.

You are getting Universal mixed up with WDW, I think. There are no waiting areas like you describe at WDW.

That is great that this worked for you and your daughter but not everyone with anxiety and panic disorders will have the same affect. I have a panic disorder and PTSD from child hood abuse. I can 100% tell you if my fight or flight mechanism gets thrown for a loop that going through it and forcing myself to "deal" is not the correct method. Thankfully it has only happened 1 time in a theme park as I enjoy them way to much to have that taken away. Again it is great that the method worked for you but please understand that it does not work for everyone and it is beyond a life lesson. Some of us are pretty tired of being told to face it and it'll get better because we know that isn't the case.

You meant effect, right? Using affect means something totally different - and I don't think that's what you meant to say.

We've always found our WDW trips to be a great place to work on some family anxiety issues. We've been encouraged to try things by our therapist - if you don't try, you don't have the chance to make progress. But I understand the need to do it slowly, carefully, and "no tricks allowed". (That's my daughter's saying)

Also, what do you mean by "beyond a life lesson'?

 

[wilkeliza]

Has he watched them on YouTube? Maybe check online for some Imagineer videos on how the rides are put together? (and have you thought about some anti-anxiety meds for him? I love my anti-anxiety meds - they are the only reason I can fly in an airplane!)



You are getting Universal mixed up with WDW, I think. There are no waiting areas like you describe at WDW.



You meant effect, right? Using affect means something totally different - and I don't think that's what you meant to say.

We've always found our WDW trips to be a great place to work on some family anxiety issues. We've been encouraged to try things by our therapist - if you don't try, you don't have the chance to make progress. But I understand the need to do it slowly, carefully, and "no tricks allowed". (That's my daughter's saying)

Also, what do you mean by "beyond a life lesson'?

Just meaning that not everyone's anxiety is as simple as learning a life lesson. I think some have situational anxiety which is normal when growing up and can be helped through life lessons like not everyone wins or it is okay to be afraid and still try it out. Those are situations where guidance through a situation can be very benefitial and is a "life lesson".

Also yes I clearly meant effective. Of course though on the internet nobdoy lets grammar slide even if it was pretty clear what I meant. As I stated it is great it works for you but that is't always the best approach for every single type of anxiety or panic disorder.

 

[Klayfish]

Really don't want to dive into the psychology side, as it's not "my thing" But yeah, I really do see it as no big deal to drag a scared kid onto a roller coaster. I just do. It's not skydiving, juggling chain saws or driving a race car. It's riding a roller coaster at WDW. Everyone has different parenting styles. DW and I have always been more on pushing...or in some cases forcing...our kids to try new things and push their comfort zone.

DD9 was always afraid of playing sports. We finally signed her up for lacrosse a few years ago and said "You're going, period." Had she hated it after doing her first season, we'd have let her stop. But by seasons' end, she really found she liked it. Now she plays nearly year round.

Not every story is a success story like that...we've had some "failures" too, things they tried and didn't like. And that's OK, it's part of discovering who you are and what you like and don't like.

 

[TwoLittlePrincesses]

My child has anxiety too. I concur with your post that you need to therapeutically parent a child through anxiety, or in the long run they become more rigid. There should never be any force, but more of a "wiggling" them out of their comfort zone so they can become desensitized to the anxiety provoking thing. Our psychologist also introduced "realistic thinking" steps and body relaxation techniques to help face the fears. They have worked for us, but it is an ongoing process with new anxiety popping up. It is important for your child to feel they can overcome their anxiety and not let it stop them from participating in life. Given my kiddo's issues I would not have forced him on a ride, but I would definitely use it as a teachable moment to get him working on his anxiety (like watching a video of the ride, standing in line for the ride) even if he didn't ride the ride. Of course you need to pick what you are going to work on. I'd probably prioritize the ride lower, unless you child really wanted to ride the ride but the anxiety was stopping them.

I do wonder if there is a difference between someone that is just scared to ride a ride, versus someone that had generalized anxiety about it.

I think the difference is how pervasive and impactful anxiety is on a person's life. Everyone has anxiety to some extent, but if it prevents you from engaging in daily activities then it becomes a disorder. For my daughter, anxiety was becoming quite pervasive and impacting her daily functioning. That's why we practice her coping strategies consistently. She wasn't just anxious about rides, it was a number of other things, too. If I had allowed her to avoid things that caused her anxiety instead of learning to cope, her anxiety would have undoubtedly become much, much worse. Now she has the ability to cope much better with her anxiety on a daily basis, which is what I meant by life lesson. For many people, anxiety is something that they will face throughout their whole lives, and there are many incredibly effective techniques that can lead to recovery.