Kevin ...about the not fitting in

[DenishaT]

Hi! and Welcome. I'm trying to become less of a lurker and post more.

im on fb too Denisha Thompson would love to meet you!

 

[ADP]

Hi! and Welcome. I'm trying to become less of a lurker and post more.
im on fb too Denisha Thompson would love to meet you!

Friend request sent.

 

[mainegal]

I went to the first Toy Story Meet in 2008, but did not get to know anyone.

I have never been to any other "in person" meets at WDW or any place else. Because I don't know people "in person", I don't really feel as much a part of any "in group".

Yet... I post often. People read my screen name and know that I am really Lyn with one "n". And my flattie has been seen at Disapalooza and in a bookstore on the California trip.

WOW! I really do feel "included". Thanks, all.

 

[k5jm]

I have fought this fight too many times to count.

If you feel that you are being left out...say something.

If you feel that you are being ignored....say something.

If you dont get an "in joke" .....say something.

If you dont "get" something...say something.

If you have a question......say something.

This is not a "search and rescue" mission.

This is a party that you have to decide to join. You have to participate in order to be included. No one is going to come looking for you to join the conversation. It's entirely up to you. Friendships take work in real life. They take more work on the internet or they will wither.

If you are sitting against the wall waiting for someone to ask you to dance....you will spend a lot of time waiting.

Get involved. Ne friendly. Share an opinion. Lend an ear. Be a friend.

You will be shocked at the results.

To add on to what Kevin is saying, I really do not see an "in-group" or clique of folks. It is the "active participation" group. In any group of people a small percentage of folks are active compared to the whole of the membership of that organization. The only thing one has to do is become more active and involved. It is no different in PTOs, HOAs, Church's, and clubs. Your only limitation is how much you limit yourself. I am a firm believer that raising your hand in a crowd is intimidating, but it does get you noticed and getting noticed can be a very good thing!

 

[Disney Dad Canada]

As a widowed Dad of three great kids, ages 10, 6 and 6, I could so relate to the intro show. I inherited the Disney love from my dear wife, but it wasn't until our first trip last May when it kicked into high gear. Once we did the DVC tour, I was hooked, and used the last of my wife's life insurance to buy resale. We'll be on our first trip "home" May 27th.

BTW, feel free to friend me http://www.facebook.com/pcyopick

 

[kathrna]

Welcome to all of the newcomers!! I think that you'll have a great time here if you just get involved. Come to chat on Wednesdays, friend us on FB. If we're not here, we're there. My name is Kathy (there are lots of us here. If the name isn't Kathy, it just might be Jennifer!)

: Hi everyone! I've not been by in a while. Where does the day go??!!

 

[kaligal]

I have fought this fight too many times to count.

If you feel that you are being left out...say something.

If you feel that you are being ignored....say something.

If you dont get an "in joke" .....say something.

If you dont "get" something...say something.

If you have a question......say something.

This is not a "search and rescue" mission.

This is a party that you have to decide to join. You have to participate in order to be included. No one is going to come looking for you to join the conversation. It's entirely up to you. Friendships take work in real life. They take more work on the internet or they will wither.

If you are sitting against the wall waiting for someone to ask you to dance....you will spend a lot of time waiting.

Get involved. Ne friendly. Share an opinion. Lend an ear. Be a friend.

You will be shocked at the results.

At no point did I include myself in the lefter-outers. I don't feel left out. There isn't anything I want to be included in.

But they exist. Sometimes people want to participate, but are lost. Sometimes they even try, but get ignored.

I'm not blaming anyone for ignoring them. People are busy having fun and don't even notice.

This happens time after time with clique after clique. And there are always people who are confused and left out. Then one of them starts a thread about being left out and a new clique is born...and eventually it has people who feel left out.

I know you've seen it. And though the people, subjects and jokes change, the whole scenario doesn't.

I doubt that blaming those who feel left out will help them any, especially if they've tried and failed. It's hard to break in. And the folks in the clique simply CAN'T be best buds with everyone.

The lefter-outers don't feel that it's a party they have to join. They wouldn't even bother trying. Who goes to a party where everyone knows each other and is doing inside-jokey stuff and starts walking around trying to be a part of it? Not most people.

They see it as a place to chat with others. They don't realize that some people are buds until the inside-jokes and all that stuff start.

I'm not on either side of it and actively avoid clique stuff. But I always have a soft-spot in my heart for the folks who feel left-out. Always have, always will. Not just on the internet...actually, more so IRL.

So I said what I had to say. And you've said what you had to say and I'm sure others have other things to say.

 

[SusanWasHere]

Hi Susan! Looks like you're from near my home base. I live in NYC now, but went to Howell High School!

I used to teach in Howell! But at the elementary level. Then I realized I didn't like bumping into students and the parents every time I go to Target, Stop n' Shop, or the post office lol. So now I work 30 minutes away - in a different county - and am much happier LOL. I do go to the reservoir in Howell all the time though, love it there!!

 

[wishspirit]

I have fought this fight too many times to count.

If you feel that you are being left out...say something.

If you feel that you are being ignored....say something.

If you dont get an "in joke" .....say something.

If you dont "get" something...say something.

If you have a question......say something.

This is not a "search and rescue" mission.

This is a party that you have to decide to join. You have to participate in order to be included. No one is going to come looking for you to join the conversation. It's entirely up to you. Friendships take work in real life. They take more work on the internet or they will wither.

If you are sitting against the wall waiting for someone to ask you to dance....you will spend a lot of time waiting.

Get involved. Ne friendly. Share an opinion. Lend an ear. Be a friend.

You will be shocked at the results.

I agree Kevin!

I don't know if I am in the 'clique' or not, I react to everyones posts the same. I do know some people more by name than others (but that is usually because I have spoken to them on chat, so I know them more than just the pictures in their signature, which I do use to identify people). If you put your first name in your signature and give us a bit of info about yourself, you become a lot more memorable than what can often be just a bunch of letters and numbers!

I haven't been to any of the big Dis events, but I think the people on the boards go above and beyond to make people feel included even if I can't make it, e.g. the live reports. Yes, I wish I was there, but I also know that if I set up my own little meet, like I have done, there are other people more than willing to come!

I wasn't really part of the group until I asked what the jokes meant- one a very long time ago involving Mindy (Ursulas Shadow) had me stumped! I asked the thread what it meant, they were more than happy to explain and I became included in the joke.

I think the Unplugged board isn't like say the community board. We don't have specialist clique threads, we all join in everything!

 

[safetymom]

I have fought this fight too many times to count.

If you feel that you are being left out...say something.

If you feel that you are being ignored....say something.

If you dont get an "in joke" .....say something.

If you dont "get" something...say something.

If you have a question......say something.

This is not a "search and rescue" mission.

This is a party that you have to decide to join. You have to participate in order to be included. No one is going to come looking for you to join the conversation. It's entirely up to you. Friendships take work in real life. They take more work on the internet or they will wither.

If you are sitting against the wall waiting for someone to ask you to dance....you will spend a lot of time waiting.

Get involved. Ne friendly. Share an opinion. Lend an ear. Be a friend.

You will be shocked at the results.

I couldn't agree more. I don't feel there are any cliques here. Just friends that have gotten to know other people.

Please join in. For me the beauty of the DIS is the wealth of information. With minutes you can have an answer to a question. I also find comfort when folks respond when I ask for prayers and pixie dust.

Just jump in and start posting. You will enjoy it.

If you need a nudge to starting posting just PM me. We really are a very friendly group. Take the first step and start enjoying the DIS.

 

[tlcoke]

I have fought this fight too many times to count.

If you feel that you are being left out...say something.

If you feel that you are being ignored....say something.

If you dont get an "in joke" .....say something.

If you dont "get" something...say something.

If you have a question......say something.

This is not a "search and rescue" mission.

This is a party that you have to decide to join. You have to participate in order to be included. No one is going to come looking for you to join the conversation. It's entirely up to you. Friendships take work in real life. They take more work on the internet or they will wither.

If you are sitting against the wall waiting for someone to ask you to dance....you will spend a lot of time waiting.

Get involved. Ne friendly. Share an opinion. Lend an ear. Be a friend.

You will be shocked at the results.

To add on to what Kevin is saying, I really do not see an "in-group" or clique of folks. It is the "active participation" group. In any group of people a small percentage of folks are active compared to the whole of the membership of that organization. The only thing one has to do is become more active and involved. It is no different in PTOs, HOAs, Church's, and clubs. Your only limitation is how much you limit yourself. I am a firm believer that raising your hand in a crowd is intimidating, but it does get you noticed and getting noticed can be a very good thing!

Welcome to all the Newcomers!!​

Kevin & Mike said it well, you just have to jump in and begin posting. I have done that in the last year and have to say the people on the boards here are the best friends I have met! (and some I am still waiting to meet in person for the first time) Many of us have formed friendships that began on the boards that now expand to in person meet ups at DIS sponsored or regional events we have planned on our own. If you don't understand something - ie. inside joke, just ask the story behind it and we will share the story.

Chat can be intimidating the first time you join us - just jump in and say Hello, I am .... and this is my first time in Chat. We will all say Hello. Then jump in and ask questions and begin talking to us - we don't bite.

 

[Launchpad11B]

Welcome to all the Newcomers!!​

Kevin & Mike said it well, you just have to jump in and begin posting. I have done that in the last year and have to say the people on the boards here are the best friends I have met! (and some I am still waiting to meet in person for the first time) Many of us have formed friendships that began on the boards that now expand to in person meet ups at DIS sponsored or regional events we have planned on our own. If you don't understand something - ie. inside joke, just ask the story behind it and we will share the story.

Chat can be intimidating the first time you join us - just jump in and say Hello, I am .... and this is my first time in Chat. We will all say Hello. Then jump in and ask questions and begin talking to us - we don't bite.

And we're glad you did Tracey.

 

[tlcoke]

And we're glad you did Tracey.

Thanks Paul!!

 

[UrsulasShadow]

I can't possibly react to every single post the same way...with so many DISers and so many events and so many geographical areas...who can???

I react to posts that have content I can relate to. I react to posts from people I'm familiar with. I react to posts to people I have something in common with. I react to posts that ask a direct question that I feel I can answer somewhat intelligently.

I tend to NOT react to posts that are whiny or self-pitying. That's just me. I never reacted to my children when they whined...why should I start now? I'm not big on drama. Lots of people love it, though, and those people will find friends here. I may just not be among them.

I am big on humor. If you're funny, I'll read your posts. Everyone likes funny.

I haven't been to any of the big Dis events, but I think the people on the boards go above and beyond to make people feel included even if I can't make it, e.g. the live reports. Yes, I wish I was there, but I also know that if I set up my own little meet, like I have done, there are other people more than willing to come!

I wasn't really part of the group until I asked what the jokes meant- one a very long time ago involving Mindy (Ursulas Shadow) had me stumped! I asked the thread what it meant, they were more than happy to explain and I became included in the joke.

Oh, and if you say my name, and I happen to read it...I'll probably respond.

And there are LOTS of inside jokes, it's true. That happens after a while in any social group. I'm old, I've been here a little while, I'm the butt of a couple of inside jokes. Just ask, like Katydid did. If it's not too off-color, we'll probably tell you what it means...if we remember.

I've been less active on the boards these days, and although there are quite a few people who know me, there are a lot of people who are more recently arrived who will not. I'm not ignoring you, I'm just busy. Please don't take it personally.

 

[ADP]

I post for two reasons:

I love theme parks - The Orlando parks the most, and since these boards are mostly about those parks it makes sense to post here.

It is true lots of friendships have been made right here on the DIS. In order to make friends you need to interact with people on a social level; whether it's posting or even talking with them. Friendships don't happen overnight....They take time, or as I like to say, one post at a time. Some friends I had a lot in common with, so maturing a friendship with them was easy. Others, I didn't have much in common with; however, I respected their interests, and even tried them out to see if I would like it. Low and behold some caught on, and our friendships have matured as well. Folks on these boards are good people. So, please post often so we can get to know you. Friends, and even good friends are hard to come by today; however, we have an abundance of friends right here on the DIS. So please tell about yourself so we can get to know you and share our interests. I'm pretty sure we are going to have one thing in common......Disney and the parks.

There are a some differences when dealing with the written word versus the spoken work, but in the end there are a lot of commonalities.

 

[crazydisneyman]

I have fought this fight too many times to count.

If you feel that you are being left out...say something.

If you feel that you are being ignored....say something.

If you dont get an "in joke" .....say something.

If you dont "get" something...say something.

If you have a question......say something.

This is not a "search and rescue" mission.

This is a party that you have to decide to join. You have to participate in order to be included. No one is going to come looking for you to join the conversation. It's entirely up to you. Friendships take work in real life. They take more work on the internet or they will wither.

If you are sitting against the wall waiting for someone to ask you to dance....you will spend a lot of time waiting.

Get involved. Ne friendly. Share an opinion. Lend an ear. Be a friend.

You will be shocked at the results.

I couldn't agree more Kevin! I jumped in and went to the Indy meet just wehn I started posting and listening and met people. Then I ran the Muddy Buddy last year and met many people.

I couldn't agree more. I don't feel there are any cliques here. Just friends that have gotten to know other people.

Please join in. For me the beauty of the DIS is the wealth of information. With minutes you can have an answer to a question. I also find comfort when folks respond when I ask for prayers and pixie dust.

Just jump in and start posting. You will enjoy it.

If you need a nudge to starting posting just PM me. We really are a very friendly group. Take the first step and start enjoying the DIS.

I met Kathy for the first time on PCC 1.0 (Podcast Cruise 1.0) last year. We sat as a big group by the adult pool and talked for hours and got to know each other. Kathy is an awesome person, and I am so happy that I got to know her better!

 

[AnninIowa]

You have to be happy in your "real" offline life first before you can really be happy online in a forum such as the DIS or on Facebook. I have a feeling that people who say they feel "left out" here feel left out in their relationships with family, friends and co-workers. I guess what I'm trying to say is worry about your day-to-day relationships first and on making yourself happy OFF-line before trying to forge relationships ON-line.

 

[Illini Disney Guy]

Hello all. I have been lurking around the boards for over 2 years now and have never felt like I was not part of the in group. I am just not a person that is very outgoing in person or on the internet. I feel as though I am part of the group just a much as somebody that post 10 times per day. My DW and I are signed up for PCC 2.0 and can not wait to go to meet all the people that I read every day.

Tom

 

[DisneyKevin]

I'm headed to San Francisco on Highway 1 so I'm a bit distracted.

I am most certainly not blaming anyone for their level of participation or interest. Maybe not everyone is interested in participating at full throtle.

If you are interested in that level of participation....it"s up to you to let us know.

The party analogy is a. poor choice on my part. As one of the hosts, if I were to see you sitting alone at a party, I'd invite you to join whatever conversation in which I was involved.

I can't do that here. I can't see you sitting at your computer. I don't even know you are there until you tell me you are.

I said it before.... if you want to participate, say something. PM Kathy or myself.

Speak up. We're interested in hearing what you have to say.

 

[daneenm]

I'm headed to San Francisco on Highway 1 so I'm a bit distracted.

What!!! You are headed right by us (San Jose) and didn't let us know you were coming!

Safe travels. The weather in the Bay Area is supposed to not be so great the next couple of days. Remember your umbrella.

P.S. If you are headed back south after your jaunt and want to stop by the Apple Company store for some paraphernalia, let me know.