Karma? 14 yo boy's parties

[twinklebug]

DS (13) has had a friend the same age as him for the last 4 years who'd sit with him on the bus every day. Not the closest of buddies, but close enough ya know? They'd get together occasionally, play etc.

Last year the boy decided to have a birthday party at his house and invited a ton of the "cool kids" who were not his friends as well as my son, and another boy who is also his friend. My son couldn't make it as I was in town working and there was no way I'd let him bike the highway to get there. None of the cool kids showed up, just the one other friend. ... I felt so awful for not finding a way to get DS to the party, but there was nothing I could think of to do and I only found out later what happened.

This year, this same boy decided to have his party at an indoor bike and skateboard park. His mom rented out the place but told him he could only have a certain number of kids. DS, the friend who showed up last year, and some new friends the boy made were all invited. DS was so excited we took his bike down to the shop and got it tuned up. Then last Monday the boy informs DS, the other friend who went to his party last year and a few others that they are UNinvited becuase he wants to invite the "cool kids". DS was angry but held onto the slightest hope that he'd be re-invited along with the other boy.

No deal, didn't happen. The party was yesterday and the kids got updates from facebook posted from the party stating how "cool" it was and who was there. Well, half an hour into the party the birthday boy broke his leg landing wrong from a jump. Yup, the mom and her son spent the rest of the day off in the ER waiting, X-raying and getting the leg set.

Karma?

BTW - DS is horribly saddened to hear this happened to his friend and is willing to forgive and forget.

ETA: It's a scary world where one has to defend asking a simple question. I'm simply shocked over the number of people who've jumped to the conclusion that I'm happy this happened or that the boy deserved what he got. To me that says something about their quick to judge personalities. First off, I don't feel any of us have the right to judge and label one another. Second off, these people haven't read my question asking for a definition of Karma (a coworker often tells me of Karma and when discussing this situation she felt this was a perfect example.) I don't feel anyone deserves physical punishment for uninviting kids to a party (not saying it's right). You can keep reading posts, join the conversation, and give us an opinion on the definition of karma and if this situation applies, or you can stop after reading a few posts and judge. All opinions are welcome. /end of public service announcement

 

[Mermaid02]

DS (13) has had a friend the same age as him for the last 4 years who'd sit with him on the bus every day. Not the closest of buddies, but close enough ya know? They'd get together occasionally, play etc.

Last year the boy decided to have a birthday party at his house and invited a ton of the "cool kids" who were not his friends as well as my son, and another boy who is also his friend. My son couldn't make it as I was in town working and there was no way I'd let him bike the highway to get there. None of the cool kids showed up, just the one other friend. ... I felt so awful for not finding a way to get DS to the party, but there was nothing I could think of to do and I only found out later what happened.

This year, this same boy decided to have his party at an indoor bike and skateboard park. His mom rented out the place but told him he could only have a certain number of kids. DS, the friend who showed up last year, and some new friends the boy made were all invited. DS was so excited we took his bike down to the shop and got it tuned up. Then last Monday the boy informs DS, the other friend who went to his party last year and a few others that they are UNinvited becuase he wants to invite the "cool kids". DS was angry but held onto the slightest hope that he'd be re-invited along with the other boy.

No deal, didn't happen. The party was yesterday and the kids got updates from facebook posted from the party stating how "cool" it was and who was there. Well, half an hour into the party the birthday boy broke his leg landing wrong from a jump. Yup, the mom and her son spent the rest of the day off in the ER waiting, X-raying and getting the leg set.

Karma?

BTW - DS is horribly saddened to hear this happened to his friend and is willing to forgive and forget.

I dont' know about Karma- but it was ROTTEN of him to uninvite boys to his party. I can't believe his mother allowed him to do this.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

Wow- there wasn't enough room at the skate park for ALL the kids??? It's not like they all had to sit around a campfire holding hands and singing Kumbaya together!

That mom should be ashamed of her son's rude and inconsiderate behavior.

 

[padams]

Karma

Hope your ds hangs with some better kids. This one isn't worth it.

 

[phorsenuf]

While it's a shame what the boy did it's almost as bad to be gloating over the situation. Poor kid.

 

[krcit]

Yikes. I get being really annoyed at what the kid did but something about this post disturbs me. He's a kid and he did something stupid but to think it might be 'karma' that he was seriously injured is kind of...yucky

 

[Holly]

Yikes. I get being really annoyed at what the kid did but something about this post disturbs me. He's a kid and he did something stupid but to think it might be 'karma' that he was seriously injured is kind of...yucky

I agree.



That was my first thought, and my second was that I think it's really mean to uninvite kids from a birthday party.

 

[twinklebug]

While it's a shame what the boy did it's almost as bad to be gloating over the situation. Poor kid.

So I'm a bad guy now?

All I asked was would anyone consider the situation to be Karma? No gloating involved. I feel for the boy and even more over the bad decisions he's made over who to have as friends. I hope DS and he do work things out becuase the boy needs guidance the mom doesn't seem to offer. Not saying I'll step in a the mom, just as an adult he can trust if he needs one to talk to.

I really can't get over being the bad guy

 

[HeatherH]

Wow, I seriously can't believe you're asking if it's karma that a child broke his leg as "payback" for uninviting your son to a party.

I agree that what the child did was mean and hurtful, but I don't think him breaking his leg is in any way some sort of divine retribution for his behavior. That's just wrong.

I think it's great that your son is saddened and is willing to forgive and forget. I think you need to follow HIS lead here and do the same.

 

[Owlpost23]

Actually,for the birthday boy with the broken leg,it could be a VERY good lesson.A broken leg at that age isn't a huge deal,and maybe it could get him thinking about behaving the same way in the future.Yes,that whistle was the karma train coming through.

 

[Hannathy]

Karma

Hope your ds hangs with some better kids. This one isn't worth it.

I agree. The kid got what he deserved. Things like this always amaze me that the parents let this bully/brat get away with doing what they did! They should be ashamed of themselves and of the son they raised, to condone actions like this.

Your son sounds like a very nice soul for worrying about the boy after what he did. BUT don't let your son totally forget what he did and let it become a pattern that he gets treated like dirt by his so called friends. Help him find kids that will be true friends not just when the "cool" kids won't hang with them.

 

[twinklebug]

Just want to add, that I've only recently become aware of "Karma" as a co-worker from India really believes in it. She thinks that was the case here without doubt. I was thinking it was all an accumulation of bad decisions until she and I spoke.

 

[phorsenuf]

So I'm a bad guy now?

All I asked was would anyone consider the situation to be Karma? No gloating involved. I feel for the boy and even more over the bad decisions he's made over who to have as friends. I hope DS and he do work things out becuase the boy needs guidance the mom doesn't seem to offer. Not saying I'll step in a the mom, just as an adult he can trust if he needs one to talk to.

I really can't get over being the bad guy

Yes, you asked if it was karma, which equates to payback. So to me it's seems like you are gloating. If that makes you feel like the bad guy (your words, not mine) then so be it. By reading some of the replies I see I am not the only one that feels that way.

 

[phorsenuf]

I agree. The kid got what he deserved. Things like this always amaze me that the parents let this bully/brat get away with doing what they did! They should be ashamed of themselves and of the son they raised, to condone actions like this.

Your son sounds like a very nice soul for worrying about the boy after what he did. BUT don't let your son totally forget what he did and let it become a pattern that he gets treated like dirt by his so called friends. Help him find kids that will be true friends not just when the "cool" kids won't hang with them.

^^
This.

 

[Mermaid02]

I never really thought of karma as "payback" but more of the universe giving you back what you give out- payback insinuates a human hand in things.

 

[twinklebug]

I never really thought of karma as "payback" but more of the universe giving you back what you give out- payback insinuates a human hand in things.

Yes, this is what I've been told. It's not payback or retaliation, but sort of a yin yang (spelling?) thing where everything has to balance out. I'm still in a fog about how it works is the thing. Not even sure I believe in it.

I do believe in ghosts though

 

[kimblebee]

I agree. The kid got what he deserved. Things like this always amaze me that the parents let this bully/brat get away with doing what they did! They should be ashamed of themselves and of the son they raised, to condone actions like this.

Your son sounds like a very nice soul for worrying about the boy after what he did. BUT don't let your son totally forget what he did and let it become a pattern that he gets treated like dirt by his so called friends. Help him find kids that will be true friends not just when the "cool" kids won't hang with them.

 

[qtwns]

My DS is going through some similar growing pains right now. It hurts us almost as much as it hurts them. I hope your son comes through this a stronger, better person.

 

[Acklander]

if you asking if I think it's Karma that the boy broke his leg because he uninvited some kids to the B-day party, the answer is no - I don't think it's karma.
I had always thought that karma meant that you get back what you give in terms of energy. Example, people who are naturally positive will have positive things happen to them. People who are naturally negative will have negative things happen to them. In reality the two people could have the exact same thing happen to them, but the positive person see's the positive in a situation but the negative person see's the negative.
Now, in this case the birthday boy is sending out the energy that he would rather have the cool kids instead of his true friends at his party, so there fore his friendships are going to be superficial instead of the good solid dependable friends. That's what I believe karma is. The broken leg just means he's a klutz.

 

[MushyMushy]

Yeah, sorry, I think it might have been karma. Kids aren't exempt from it.

This might end up being a learning experience for the kid AND his mother. They'll see which of the "cool" kids invited to the party end up sticking around now that the boy is no fun and hurt.