Just venting to those that would understand...

[garnet1240]

I've read posts with empathy from others frustrated by family memebers invited to go on their vacation, and then cancel last minute. I've always thought, that's sad to do that to your own family. If you can't go, that's fine, but don't act all exicted, can't wait to go..yadda yadda... and then change your mind leaving your host holding the bag for extra points used when it wasn't needed or an additional cash expense. What the heck is that...

Well, I've joined the club. Not a major thing in the scheme of things, but sooo annoying and left me thinking are you kidding!?

For the past three years we have let our DDs invite someone along for our fall trip. My youngest has always invited my niece, same age, get along great. (they are now 17). We always ask early, around June when I start watching airfare if she can come. Again this year, niece, my brother and SIl, say she is thrilled to be going with us, nice thing we are doing including her with us, she has a great time.

So you get were I'm going, last night, 30 days to our trip. Niece calls, says she can't go. Her mom says can't miss school (1.5 days). Huh? Now you say she can't miss school? Went through the usual questions, can't she bring work with her, is there a special project, ect. No, just don't think she should miss school same time of year as last three years. Sorry, but we are giving you a month to find someone else to ask...

We always take kids friends as guests...so it's now going to cost me twice as much to cancel her airfare and rebook 30 days before we leave. That is if my DD can find someone to go this close to trip. I told SIL, she should take care of $$ difference in airfare. She disagrees, saying we invited niece as guest. Not to mention, my DD upset. Needless to say, wasn't a friendly end to the conversation.

I know, only one kid, not a whole family canceling on me. ...but ughhhh!!

Sorry for the long post and rant...I feel better...thanks for letting me vent to those that understand...

 

[eliza61]

Welcome to the wonderful world of Families & DVC. I'm willing to bet that everyone here has a similar story so we can all empathize.

 

[DisDaydreamer]

I know, only one kid, not a whole family canceling on me. ...but ughhhh!!

Hi Gail, Sorry this had to happen. And the bad thing is it isn't the kid, it's the parents. Two days of school missed well into the beginning of the year shouldn't be a show stopper in and of itself (IMHO) unless there is a history of problems. Sounds more like punishment. Hope things can work out.

So what do you think... will you invite her next year?

 

[dianeschlicht]

The airfare thing would be my big beef!!! Certainly the mother KNOWS that would be an issue! Since 9/11 changing the name on a ticket is not an easy thing to do, and certainly not cheap! I'd probably get the father involved. Maybe he will have clearer thinking. I do have to say 1.5 days of school shouldn't be that big of a deal either. Now I do see how it is more of an issue in High School than in elementary, but still, 1.5 days isn't going to make or break most grades.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Oh, and one more thing.... Be sure she KNOWS that she will NOT be invited back on any future trip non-gratis!!! I'd make that point VERY clear!

 

[pyrxtc]

why would you have to cancel and rebook? Just cancel or if it will cost you mroe then just leave it and she just won't check-in and you'll just lose that airfare money. if it's costing you double to cancel and rebook then don't, just rebook if you are bringing someone else.

 

[PEANUT1]

that's a bummer! Why not talk to your brother about this. Also, it sounds like your sil is a real piece of work...don't take this out on your neice. I would still invite her again in the future just make it clear to her parents that if they cancel, they have to pay.

We just bought last year so luckily have not dealt with this yet.

 

[Granny]

Since you are dealing with an in-law, I'd suggest just taking your lumps and doing the best you can. I wouldn't invite them anymore, but I wouldn't make a big deal out of announcing that either. I'm assuming that you explained the financial situation of changes back in June when you invited them?

I don't know your family dynamics, but I would probably work directly with my sibling on things like this...in this case, your brother. If he doesn't understand what they've done to you then there's nothing much more to do about it.

I'm sorry for your situation. Like renting points, asking guests to go to WDW has a fair amount of risk.

Maybe we should start advising people to draw up "Guest Agreements" similar to point rental agreements.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Granny, my policy is, burn me once...you don't get a second chance!

 

[garnet1240]

Welcome to the wonderful world of Families & DVC. I'm willing to bet that everyone here has a similar story so we can all empathize.

I know, and mine isn't that bad...lessons learned

 

[mikesmom]

Granny, my policy is, burn me once...you don't get a second chance!

I agree. We have 2 friends/family on the "never again" list.

 

[Chuck S]

Granny, my policy is, burn me once...you don't get a second chance!

Ditto! There are 4 people on my "never again" list. Even though they are aware of the "never again" policy before they ever accept the invitation, they just feel so "slighted" now. I mean, if they had cancelled for a medical emergency, or some other emergency, sure I'd invite them back. But lack of planning on their part is not an emegency to me. ,

 

[bookwormde]

One of my rules is that the guest makes there own transportation reservations (I usually find them the best deal).

If I end with some extra space in the accommodation that I cannot fill then that is fine, like others have said I just do not invite them again.

bookwormde

 

[garnet1240]

Hi Gail, Sorry this had to happen. And the bad thing is it isn't the kid, it's the parents. Two days of school missed well into the beginning of the year shouldn't be a show stopper in and of itself (IMHO) unless there is a history of problems. Sounds more like punishment. Hope things can work out.

So what do you think... will you invite her next year?

You are right, it's the parents. No history of any problems, she's a good kid. Don't think there will be another invite, my DD is pretty upset at having to find someone else at this late date.

Oh, and one more thing.... Be sure she KNOWS that she will NOT be invited back on any future trip non-gratis!!! I'd make that point VERY clear!

After this, makes me rethink taking any of them non-gratis. No skin off their teeth if they cancel. Think I will at least look for their airfare $ from now on.

why would you have to cancel and rebook? Just cancel or if it will cost you mroe then just leave it and she just won't check-in and you'll just lose that airfare money. if it's costing you double to cancel and rebook then don't, just rebook if you are bringing someone else.

I had a great price.. Airfare to rebook is now over $400 rt

that's a bummer! Also, it sounds like your sil is a real piece of work...

I'll take the high road, and be nice here.....yes, she is.

Since you are dealing with an in-law, I'd suggest just taking your lumps and doing the best you can. I wouldn't invite them anymore, but I wouldn't make a big deal out of announcing that either. I'm assuming that you explained the financial situation of changes back in June when you invited them?

I don't know your family dynamics, but I would probably work directly with my sibling on things like this...in this case, your brother. If he doesn't understand what they've done to you then there's nothing much more to do about it.

I'm sorry for your situation. Like renting points, asking guests to go to WDW has a fair amount of risk.

Maybe we should start advising people to draw up "Guest Agreements" similar to point rental agreements.

Yup, explain what would happen if changes are made, every year. My brother understands what just happend....he's an ok guy, this puts him smack in the middle of me and his wife...see comment above


Thanks guys, I knew you would all understand. It will all work out, just frustated and feel bad for both my DD and my neice.

Gail

 

[Granny]

Granny, my policy is, burn me once...you don't get a second chance!

I don't disagree. I even posted that I wouldn't invite them again. I just wouldn't throw it back in their face. I'd quietly explain to the brother that we are sorry but can't invite them in the future since we took a financial and emotional (especially DD) bath on this one.

Everyone has their own way of handling things. This one just seem like the SIL is being a jerk about the whole thing.

 

[Disney_Villain]

We've been irritatated by 2 friends this year - cancelling after they'd said that they would go, mainly for "I can't afford it" reasons. They were sure eager when 1st asked to go!

I am so mad about this that I will never again offer to put anyone up on OUR points except for my in-laws, who are sweet people and wouldn't cancel unless they were in the hospital.

When people don't have to put $ down (a deposit) they speak through their hats when it comes to committing to vacations - and they cancel at the 11th hour!

 

[WolfpackFan]

Having never invited anyone to WDW ourside DS and DD, I really don't have much input on this except to suggest that you remember she is your niece, so you might not want to come down too hard on them if you want to keep any type of relationship in the future. I surely wouldn't say "we'll never invite you again", because you never know what will happen in the future. I wouldn't say anything that you will be sorry about later, no matter how irritated you are now.

 

[RLRDA]

OP, sorry this happened to you . Hopefully you won't let it be a cloud hanging over your trip. My question to your SIL would be "I gave you the dates of the trip months in advance, you knew at that time that she'd have to miss school, didn't you?" How is it that 30 days before a fall trip (when everyone knows that school's back in session) this becomes the reason for backing out??? Gotta love family! We've had a somewhat similar disappointment take place and my DB and DSIL won't be asked again because of it - we were never out any money just used points that we wouldn't have had to.

Hope you have a great time in spite of the bad taste this has left you

 

[Goofy's apprentice]

Sorry for your frustrations. We have a big trip planned in March and I am keeping my fingers crossed. I won't be making their airfare arrangements. The last few years we have invited friends and I made the flight purchases but only after a frank face-to-face discussion as to how much they were willing to spend on flights etc. Everything went very well.

However, it is sad but I don't have this amount of faith for the family trip in 2009. They will have to make their own flight arrangements. I mention it often during family events. I will check one last time well before the banking deadline.

 

[Deb & Bill]

I'll be the one looking at the other side of the coin. She's 17, just started back to HS and found out that (1) her absence would not be excused for the first time (2) her cheerleading squad or other team (??) was having a meet/game/important practice that week and if she missed it, she would be off the team/squad (3) SAT/ACT test/practice sessions start that week (4) her new part time job couldn't let her off for those days or she would be fired (5) etc. Has your daughter asked her cousin what was going on? Maybe she really wanted to go, but something came up and she just couldn't now.