Oof. I am sorry you're going through this. I faced something similar planning a family trip (for my husband's side) back in 2015. People wanted to know ALL of their options (kind of a "i think I'll know what I want when I see it") but the reality is that the amount of options were overwhelming, then they couldn't decide.
And I made all the reservations except for one group because they knew a
travel agent who was offering a gift card if you booked through them and they wanted the gift card. Then they kept coming to me wanting me to change their reservation/add requests, etc. "I cannot do anything with your reservation. You have to go through your travel agent." Then they seemed to be annoyed at me because I was doing these things for everyone else (even though I wished I wasn't doing it for anyone!)... but, duh, I had access to their reservations. No matter how many times I tried to explain it, they just didn't seem to get it. They thought I was being obstinate/refusing to help out of spite (note: I am not a travel agent. I am just the family "details" person. I did not make any money from anybody's trip.) And apparently, after the original booking, their travel agent wasn't very responsive, so they regretted using him... and it made a whole lot of hassle for me, that their reservation was different than the rest of ours.
Anyway -- I kind of had to set a day of the week and say "I can talk about the trip on Sundays... if you have something you need to tell me, let's talk on Sunday. Don't just randomly text me while I'm at work and expect me to do it/remember it. At minimum, follow up with me on Sunday to see if I've done it." Your schedule sounds like it might not be as "regular" as mine... but maybe you can find a time that will work. (or if nothing else, you can start a list of things to look into after your cabaret is over.)
