Just moved--how do we make friends?! Help!

[tessieg]

Hello everyone,
We( dh, me and dd's 2,5,10) just moved across the country, to a town in Ohio. We left behind a huge support system--all grandparents, aunts, uncles, life long friends. It has been a tough move!
We are settled into a great school system but the kids have no friends! We were used to playgroups and playdates --a really packed social calendar and I know the kids are really missing that. How do I help transition the school pals they are making to out of school friends? Almost all the kids in this district ride the bus so I don't get to meet any parents. In our neighborhood, there are a lot of kids but the only ones the same ages seem to be all boys, the girls are all older--and the boys don't seem to hang out at all with the girls here(my oldest dd had lots of "boy" friends back in our hometown). The girl scout troops are full to the brim so I haven't had any luck with that either--and I can't lead my own troop because my dh has a very demanding work schedule with fluctuating shifts so I can't ever count on not having my 2 and 5 yr old, especially now that we know no one and have no babysitters!!!
I am stressed over this! The kids really miss their old friends and I do too. How do we move on and find new ones? I would love advice from anyone who has moving with kids experience!
Last but not least we used to live 2 hours from Disney and that is far away now too! So sad.
Thanks for anyone who can help!

 

[mickimousemama]

Moving can be so hard on families. I would start by checking into a few mom's groups, look at different churches if that is something you are comfortable with. Alot of Malls have Toddler Days and its ok to bring along older children if your 5 year old is not yet in school.
Look at what they offer for things through your community and through the public school system. Here there are programs called E.C.F.E. (Early Childhood Family Education) For kids 0-5 years old, you attend with your children and can meet other families with children their ages, and they provide child care for other siblings right at the same location.
Our community Center also offers a ton of family activities to get out and meet other families. It can be hard, I would probably say that I am a socially withdrawn person, but I force myself to get out there and meet other moms for the sake of my kids,
Best of luck and lots of Hugs to help you!

 

[Leajess99]

I am not sure on the ages of your children but maybe look for some sports programs to get them in to help make friends that way. Also check out http://www.mops.org/ which is mother os preschoolers and see if they have a local chapter for playgroups in your area. Moving is very hard and it does take time to make friends but please hang in there.

 

[pennymom]

We didn't really know anyone in our town until my oldest started school. All of our college friends had moved away from the area and we were busy with our careers and traveling to visit friends on weekends. Then my older son entered Kindergarten and I began volunteering for the PTA and took DS5 (then 3 years old) with me to plan/help with PTA activities. Both of the boys met children from around the whole town either at PTA events or while parents worked on planning/meetings after school and in the evenings. I met many moms who also had one or more in school and a younger one at home. We have a bit of a social life (only a bit because I also work part-time) with a few families whose children are about the same ages as mine, and I am very active in the PTA now that both of the boys are at the same school.

Good luck to you!

 

[ireland_nicole]

I would look into finding a playgroup in your area. That's how I met all of my current friends when we moved back to the states. Also, go to local preschool story time at your local library, go play at an indoor play center and strike up a conversation... if you have an active community association or HOA, there may be women's groups or playgroups there; join a bookclub at a local bookstore, take a class, join a church if that's something you are comfortable with, put your kids in a team activity of some kind. Don't worry, once you find your feet there are loads of ways to meet people, I promise.

 

[Amanda V]

We moved 5 years ago and have made wonderful friends since doing so. Check to see if you have a mom's club in your area. We have also made friends through gymnastics, the kids' school (VOLUNTEER!!!!), and our park district has a lot of kid's activities and we have met a lot of families through participating in classes and activities through them. We are lucky to have great neighbors, too. One of my very best friends lives next door. Hang in there! I tend to be on the shy side and even I have made friends here.

 

[jennyleettu]

Have you looked on www.meetup.com to see if there are any groups in your area?

Good luck getting back into the swing of things! I'm sure you will start to meet people soon and before you know it your schedule will be packed!

 

[WantToGoNow]

What part of Ohio are you in?

 

[Swmr359]

I just moved to Ohio also! Look into sports groups, library groups, go to back to school night to meet other parents. Go for walks around the neighborhood and introduce your self to anyone who is out.

Good luck!

 

[auralia]

your best bet is to join a church even if you arn't religious (we are not) we have never done this, but it is always what we are told to do (we are military so moving is kind of second nature). I have been where I am for almost three years and still have absolutly no network because we are airforce stationed at an army base so the base views us as second class citizens and there really arn't any places we can go to meet people. I am always told the best way to meet good people is in the churches, hubby will have nothing to do w/ it though as he is a very hard fast athiest I am rather indifferent, but i won't go against his wishes w/ this. end result my daughter just now has her first friend... a lady i ment off craigs list when i sold my daughters old toys, pretty sad

 

[May05 preemie mom]

If you have at least one child in school, then find out the names of some of the girls in her class and get their parent's info. and invite them for a playdate either at your house or at a local park. Do you go to the local playground with the younger ones during the day, local library's preschool hour? What about after school activities like gymnastics, recreation center (maybe you could join a exercise class or a ceramics/jewelry making class), swimiming lessons, dance, etc. Does you local mall have an early morning walking club? Does the local hospital have some class you'd want to take? If your dh is working outside the home, does he have co-workers with wives and children, could you talk to him and maybe get him to invite a family over? What about fall festivals coming up?

I realize it is easier said than to actually do but think about every opportunity that you are outside of your home, grocery stores, doctor's offices, Target.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

I know you said that the Girl Scouts are full to the brim, but if you were to offer to help the troop, they may take you. There are things you could do without helping out at meetings, like being the cookie mom or fall fundraiser person. When my troop was full, I would have taken someone if they'd help. A lot of people just want to drop off the girls.
Another idea is that some churches have groups for kids- ours has pioneer club and the baptist church has awanas.

 

[tessieg]

Thanks for all of the great suggestions. I will start looking into some of them.
We are outside of Cincinnati, to answer one of the posts.
I'd love to hear any other ideas or stories about moving and acclimating!
Thanks!

 

[verlee]

First, you need to know that you are not the only one out there looking for connections. Lots of people are in the same boat. I think the best advice is to get out into the local community. Take walks, go to the library, books stores coffee shops, parks. Try to go to community functions. See people and be friendly. The more "face time" you have in the community the more you will get to know people. It takes time. Longer then you would think. We moved about 3 yrs ago and we are just now starting to feel like we are part of the community. Good luck and don't worry. It will come in time

 

[erinmomof2]

Are your kids interested in anything such as dance, soccer, gymnastics, chererleading, ect? My daughter has a hard time making friends and even though she was in school she didn't click with any of the kids. She started dance last year and it was an amazing transformation. She loved the dancing, she started socializing with the other kids, it really was wonderful for her. This year she's doing even more. My husband and I have met a lot of great parents while we watch her class. One girl is even in her grade at her school now, and she really likes that. It was nice to meet other parents with kids the same age as mine and it was good for my daughter too. This year my youngest starts class (today actually), she's doing a rhythm class for 2 1/2 year olds. We're hoping to open her up a little more through this.

So I guess my advice is to find out what interests your kids, and if they would enjoy any type of out of school activities. And hopefully they'll find something they love and you can meet some parents.

Also, I second the church thing. Nearly all of the people we associate with are from our church. It is really a fabulous way to meet people who have similar beliefs to you. I know not everyone is into church, so I don't know if it would be something you'd enjoy or not.

Hope you make some new friends and get settled in.

 

[Stasieki]

I am in the same boat. I left a huge network of friends all on the same street. Now, I feel like I am "begging" people to be friends. I have tried everything (meetup.com, etc), but it seems like every playgroup is for SAHM's. I work full-time, so it is really tough. My DD just started a 3 year old preschool so hoping to make some friends (for both of us) that way. But, again, when I drop off, I am rushing to work as I envy the Moms who are chatting in the parking lot with their coffees.

The few people I have struck up conversation with (one at my DD's dance school) seem so busy and already have a big circle of friends. I understand that, too.

Best of luck to you - I am sure it will turn around.

 

[CandleontheWater]

I can really sympathize with your situation. We moved from Florida to Alexandria VA in June and it has been tough. My husband is military and we move every three years, but I don't think it gets any easier! Are you working? I always find that is it easier to make friends through work. Since I was preggo when we moved, and I plan on being a SAHM, I haven't had a job, so I've had to get creative. I went on yahoo.com and google.com and joined an expecting moms group where I met some great people, and I have also met people through a prenatal yoga class. I also met a friend at babies r us! I'm starting to volunteer for the democratic party in VA and I hope to meet other people that way too!

I have found from my frequent moves that it takes a good year to really get settled into a place and establish a good network of friends. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't feel like you are fitting in right away. If you put yourself out there, before long you'll have a whole new group of wonderful people surrounding you!

 

[CnZielinski]

Hi! I live in the cincy area and have two little ones ages 2 and 4 so feel free to contact me for anything you might need help with!

 

[Poohbug]

Check out the local public library. They usually have tons on things going on. Our library has story time for a variety of ages, as well as craft sessions, movie nights, etc. They just had a balloon making class I was thinking about but there was only one spot left and I have two kids that would want to try it. You have time to talk with the other parents while the kids are busy and get to know the people in the area.

Also take them to the local playgrounds. You can meet alot of people there and even though you don't really know them-maybe you can still make future playdates that take place at the playground until you get to know each other better.

 

[left210]

To get to know parents and kids, we started having a pumpkin party when DS was in preschool, then he moved to a private school for 2 years and is now in public school. We did this with each school in October and invited all the kids in his class and painted pumpkins and played games. We met many parents this way and it helped him to make friends too. It wouldnt necessarily help with your little ones but the other kids may have siblings.