Just Call Me "The Incompetent Wife"...

[DMRick]

But, when I hear the words "My Little Boy" used to refer to a grown man...
Yep, I think that there's something a little off there.

Some may disagree.
But, that is my opinion.
And, it's not one that I have formed lightly....

Too bad something happened to make you have an 'off' opinion of that. My children will always mean much more to me, than being just my son or daughter. He's more than a foot taller than me, but my opinion will stay the same just like your's will also..he's my little boy...forever and ever.
How old is your son? If he's still a child, then you may someday still change your mind. I certainly don't think of my husband as someone's a little boy (but if his mom were still alive, I know she would, and it wouldn't bother me at all)..but my son...yep, forever.

 

[minniecarousel]

I miss my "little boys", and I told my younger daughter-in-law that when we vacationed with them a few weeks ago. But, they're grown men and both have terrific wives.

My older daughter-in-law wrenched her knee pretty bad the other day. Once I saw that on Facebook, I called and asked if I could bring dinner over the next day. They were both grateful, although my son said he could rustle up some dinner for them.

I'm sure it's all in the tone. I had my mother as a wonderful example of how to be a mother-in-law (I never had one). So I try not to meddle, but I want to be helpful. Thankfully, my sons and daughters-in-law ask when they need some help, knowing that I'll do what I can.

 

[DMRick]

I had my mother as a wonderful example of how to be a mother-in-law .

 

[phorsenuf]

My son posted on Facebook the other day he was heading to Oktoberfest (he's stationed in Germany). I told him I would be happy to fly over next year to babysit while he and his wife go. He said I could come, but no the babysitting. It was my subtle hint for grandchildren.

I try to be a good MIL. I find myself biting my tongue at times because I don't want to be like my MIL. It's hard though sometimes to let our children go, no matter how old they are. We just always want the best for them and I think all mothers can agree that we feel that nobody can take care of our children like we do.

 

[Scurvy]

I do think there's a difference between concern and criticism. I don't see anything wrong with parents calling to check on their son or daughter if there is something wrong with them. I actually think it's a good thing. My parents have always called to check on me when I'm sick, and my husband's parents often check on him as well. And if one of them made a suggestion that they thought would be helpful, we'd appreciate it. If any of them were calling and actually saying that we couldn't take care of each other as well as they could, then I would have a problem with that. OP, if your mother-in-law is actually criticising the way you care for your husband, then I wouldn't share information with her. I'd just let your husband deal with her when he's sick, if he wants to. If she's just expressing concerns or making suggestions, then I'd accept that the way it's probably intended - as a mother who is concerned about her son and wishing she could do something to help.

 

[si-am]

Maybe the MIL is concerned because the OP actually *caused* the damage to the husband's eye.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Too bad something happened to make you have an 'off' opinion of that.

Nope, not 'too bad'.... I don't really need your pity.
There is not any one thing that happened to make my opinion 'off'.

I don't believe my thoughts on this are so far off after all. The whole thing with an overbearing mom with the adult 'little boy' is just to darned classic. It is the brunt of jokes and comments and comedy in movies and television shows. There is NO denying it.

And, think about it....
If the guy was a 12 year old, and 'Mama' was calling the school every day about her 'Little Boy', because he had the sniffles, or she didn't think the teachers were treating him like she would... everybody would be just all over that, and there would be one heck of a 'HELICOPTER PARENT' bashing thread.
Helicopter parenting is bad enough with elementary school kids...

Nope, it's not okay when a guy is a teenager, and its even more 'not okay' when he is a grown married man.
I wouldn't be calling up to the school to check on my 12 year old all the time, to make sure he is taken care of, while he is there.
And, I think it is safe to say that I won't be doing that with his wife, either.

I can admit that mothers always have a soft spot for their children.
I understand that.
I can understand - "Ohhhh my BABY is graduating"
I can understand - "Ohhhh my BABY is getting married."
But, after that, there is a point where I just go

Sure, mothers may feel that way....
Everybody has a right to their feelings.
It is the way they voice and act on those feelings that is not always appropriate.

 

[DMRick]

Ah, I understand..your oldest is 12 and still living under your roof. Yes, I understand that's how you plan to be when he grows up. Been there did that. The old 'this is how it's going to be' used to be how I thought too. Let me know what happens when you actually have an ill adult child out there somewhere.

If I called my son's work, or school, because he had the sniffles, I might see your point, but calling my darling daughter in law, who is like a daughter to me..not so much. I'm not a helicopter parent, and never was (but that's not to say I don't absolutley love my kids and am a part of their lives), but I sure am one that worries when any of my children don't feel well, no matter what the age. I'm not sure how concern for your adult sick child has anything to do with calling the school if a child has the sniffles of if you think a teacher isn't treating him well. Apples - Oranges.

If the guy was a 12 year old, and 'Mama' was calling the school every day about her 'Little Boy', because he had the sniffles, or she didn't think the teachers were treating him like she would... everybody would be just all over that, and there would be one heck of a 'HELICOPTER PARENT' bashing thread..