Jury Duty is not family-friendly!

[jrmasm]

Lots of people have children, and they still find a way to do their civic duty. They have family, they have friends, they have trusted sitters.

In Florida, having small children in your care was normally excused. But not every state is like that -- and what will you do if a judge throws you in jail for contempt?

That would be a major childcare issue.

I think this whole thread is silly. Jury duty has the potential to cause disruption in anyone's life that is called to serve. Not just families with children.

 

[justhat]

I think the point that the person was making in saying that they would never leave their child with some stranger was that when you put your children in daycare you get to pick who you want. You get to research the facility. You get to meet the person and interview them. You get to look at safety records, the cleanliness of the facility, the rules, the expectations, the people who will be interacting with your child. When you drop your kid at a court childcare you know nothing about it at all. Backround check or not you have no idea if the person is a moron or a mean nasty person. They don't check for that. I have no issues with people who have to leave their children in childcare to work etc. As parents we do what we must to provide. I just personally would not leave my child with someone that I just met and know nothing about. If you ask me about kids clubs I feel the same way. It is simply not in our confort zone. That doesn't make me bizarre nor does it make you (a general you) neglectful if you are comfortable with it.

You can interview daycare workers, but you still have no idea if they are morons. Many stupid or mean people can be very nice on interview.

What I don't get though about not wanting to leave your kids ever in any sort of club or temporary daycare is how do you handle other activities? Do you just not do them? Like this zoo class my daughter is attending Saturday. You have no idea who the teachers are (unless you happen to work at the zoo, which I don't), you don't stay for the class, so you're dropping them with strangers with the idea that they will have fun and enjoy the class. Of course there is a risk, there always is, but

And same idea with some other activities like camps, dance, gymnastics, etc. Presumably you don't interview all those people before the first time you drop your child off, right? And they are not always within view (at least at our gym) even if you stay for the class. Even if you are familiar with the establishment, the teacher could still be new.

I just feel like if I lived that way my kids would never experience anything. This past summer my daughter went to 6 different summer camps and not one had any sort of orientation day, any opportunity to meet the staff, etc. If I felt the need to interview each person I ever left her with she'd never be able to go anywhere.

 

[RadioNate]

Thank you. It still amazes me how much ppl. are soley concerned about themselves. Hello???? It's part of our job as citizens of our country. I suppose we could just let all criminals go back out in the streets, since we don't have the "time to be bothered." Or we could just put them all in jail, and not give them a fair trial, although then I'm sure ppl. would be upset about how much it would cost to house them all.
Don't get me wrong, I have 2 small children as well, and now that I'm a SAHM, yes it'd be a pain to have to find childcare for them, and an expense, but that's life. I don't expect to not "have" to serve or get special treatment, just because I'm a SAHM. I'd like to think I'd be treated as anyone else.
How would you feel if you were the victim of the case, and a juror came to court, in a bad mood because their life was inconvenienced??? Or how would you feel if you were wrongly accused?
Ppl. need to stop being so selfish, and see the greater good. It's just like ppl. that witness a crime, but "don't want to get involved." I'm not saying go risk your life, but yes pick up a darn phone and call the police. Again, put yourself in someone else's shoes for a second, or think 20 yrs. down the road, when it could be your children as the victim. Wouldn't you want unbaised ppl. getting involved or being on the jury?

Yes we are all so selfish that we don't think people should have to go into debt (and that IS the case in some families) or to have to fly people in to watch their children in order to serve jury duty. It is all pure selfishness.

No one said they don't have 'time to be bothered' with jury duty. We've said that the current system places a large burden on families with young children.

Where did any of us say we wouldn't serve???? We said that is can be very very difficult and that there should be something in place to ease that burden (childcare, higher pay, etc.)

It absolutely affects you when you are worrying about the care your kids are receiving, worrying about how you are going to pay for the child care you needed to arrange and worrying about your spouses job security when they have to take off to watch the kids.

What does calling the police have to do with serving jury duty? Want to know how many times I've called 911 on my drunk neighbor when he is beating up his wife? That has nothing to do with spending long periods on a jury.

We are talking about younger than school aged children and jury duty lasting more than 1 day. The discussion stemmed from Federal jury duty where you are required to be available for weeks at a time.

 

[mickeyboat]

That would be a major childcare issue.

I think this whole thread is silly. Jury duty has the potential to cause disruption in anyone's life that is called to serve. Not just families with children.

Yes, back to the topic at hand. DH received a jury questionnaire over the summer. He is a self-employed carpenter, and when he does not work, he does not get paid. Summer and Fall are his busy seasons, so he is hoping they won't call him until Winter - or that he is able to defer until then.

If he has to go, he has to go. He will grumble but he will still do what he is asked to do.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

That would be a major childcare issue.

I think this whole thread is silly. Jury duty has the potential to cause disruption in anyone's life that is called to serve. Not just families with children.

This is very true. What if grandma who watches your kids while you work gets called? That would be a problem for 2 families. Like I said, the system is far from perfect but I have no idea how to fix it.

As for those who don't understand how people could not have childcare let me explain. Yes, I have neighbors and friends who I could call on in an emergency. A few hours, maybe a day at best. I cannot expect anyone to be able to watch 4 (or even 1!) children for days and weeks. That is a bit much to expect from anyone. We do leave our children when needed but to be honest, even if we were able to secure a facility for our children the cost would be astronomical here.

 

[robinb]

Again, I see no benefit in leaving a baby with a child care provider. Good for you if you had no trouble dropping your baby off with somebody who passed a few tests, but my baby meant quite a bit more to me

You really don't want to go there! Get off your SAHM high horse . You are not a better parent than the parent who leaves their baby in a day care situation. Your baby is not more important and s/he is not loved more.

 

[jodifla]

Yes they work during the day. And if it was a true emergency, I think they would probably call off work for me. But when the kids were not in school I had made arrangements with day care providers to be "back ups" if my regular day care was not available. But like I said, I had to work hard to forge the kinds of relationships where I could have the peace of mind of leaving my kids with someone if I absolutely had to.

I guess what I am trying to say is that even if I were a SAHM I would work to have the kinds of relationships with people to make sure I had a back-up plan.

I bet your granny neighbors would love to spend some time with your little one! They'd sleep well that night!

Absolutely! You never know when you might have a medical emergency for example.

EVERY parent should have a backup plan.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You can interview daycare workers, but you still have no idea if they are morons. Many stupid or mean people can be very nice on interview.

What I don't get though about not wanting to leave your kids ever in any sort of club or temporary daycare is how do you handle other activities? Do you just not do them? Like this zoo class my daughter is attending Saturday. You have no idea who the teachers are (unless you happen to work at the zoo, which I don't), you don't stay for the class, so you're dropping them with strangers with the idea that they will have fun and enjoy the class. Of course there is a risk, there always is, but

And same idea with some other activities like camps, dance, gymnastics, etc. Presumably you don't interview all those people before the first time you drop your child off, right? And they are not always within view (at least at our gym) even if you stay for the class. Even if you are familiar with the establishment, the teacher could still be new.

I just feel like if I lived that way my kids would never experience anything. This past summer my daughter went to 6 different summer camps and not one had any sort of orientation day, any opportunity to meet the staff, etc. If I felt the need to interview each person I ever left her with she'd never be able to go anywhere.

Yes, you can interview someone and they can turn on the charm but at least you have the opportunity to do so and to also research where your child is going. You can ask other parents, check the BBB, check their state compliance record etc.
As for how I handle activities. My children are in a ton of activities. They are young so we do not drop them off at any of them. One of us is always there. Now, there are activities that I would not have a problem dropping them off if I had to because I know the people who run it very well. As for summer camps, well not many kids here go to camp. I personally do not believe in summer sleep away camps for kids. I don't look down or fault anyone who does, it is simply not something that I think is needed. My kids get to experience plenty (we make sure of it) without sleeping away. We don't know anyone who sends their kids to sleepaway camp here. Day camps do happen but my children have no interest in it. If they did want to go to say a week long day camp for something I would make sure that I looked into it, met the people they would be interacting with and I would do my own research. If I felt that it was a safe place etc. then I would let them go .I would think that is what any parent would do. I wouldn't just blindly sign them up somewhere without knowing anything about it. Of course, I personally like to know everything about anything I do even if it doesn't involve my kids.

 

[justhat]

This is very true. What if grandma who watches your kids while you work gets called? That would be a problem for 2 families. Like I said, the system is far from perfect but I have no idea how to fix it.

As for those who don't understand how people could not have childcare let me explain. Yes, I have neighbors and friends who I could call on in an emergency. A few hours, maybe a day at best. I cannot expect anyone to be able to watch 4 (or even 1!) children for days and weeks. That is a bit much to expect from anyone. We do leave our children when needed but to be honest, even if we were able to secure a facility for our children the cost would be astronomical here.

Aren't any of your kids in school? Could you set up afterschool playdates? Most kids I know have some sort of afterschool activity a couple of times a week so that would buy you even more time. Ask a parent to drive your daughter to ballet, for example, then return the favor another week.

My friend had to go out of state to visit her elderly grandfather and I gladly took her son to baseball with my daughter to help her out. Her husband works long hours and her MIL who was helping out could never have successfully found the baseball field, and had her other 2 kids to deal with, so I helped out. And given that he's in school 8-3, then I picked him up from school, took him to baseball, then returned him home at 6pm, seems she had coverage for him the entire day. Would have worked had she been in jury duty or out of state like she was.

Now if all the kids are very young and are home all day then I can see that being a real chore to get a babysitter.

 

[LisaR]

Boy, that was a hot potato subject on the last jury duty thread I saw on the DIS. People literally didn't have any childcare arrangements at all - I assume they were willing to go 18 years without ever leaving their child with someone else.

Personally, I think that's bizarre, and I wonder how those children manage later in life without any sort of experience being in the care of anyone other than a parent.

I am a huge proponent of having everyone serve jury duty and I love being called. It has happened frequently for me and I enjoy the process every single time.

That said, I was called within 2 months of moving to a new state. I didn't know anyone well enough to leave my kids with for an entire day. I didn't have a babysitter lined up yet. I homeschool so my kids (9 and 7 at the time) were not at an age where I would have been comfortable leaving them for 8 hours by themselves. Luckily, my DH worked from home that day and I was dismissed that afternoon. I just wanted to point out that there are situations where people truly don't have access to a sitter. It doesn't mean that we are helicopter parents and don't plan on letting our kids out of our sight until they are 18.

I have never served where I haven't learned something. It has always been a huge inconvenience to me and I moan and groan on the days leading up to it. But every single time, I walk away with new knowledge and a better appreciation for the system.

 

[RadioNate]

You really don't want to go there! Get off your SAHM high horse . You are not a better parent than the parent who leaves their baby in a day care situation. Your baby is not more important and s/he is not loved more.

Can we not paint all SAHM's with the same brush. Please.

I'm currently a SAHM and I don't feel at all that I'm any better than a working mom. In fact, there are many days that I feel my DD would be better off if I did work and she was in day care.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Aren't any of your kids in school? Could you set up afterschool playdates? Most kids I know have some sort of afterschool activity a couple of times a week so that would buy you even more time. Ask a parent to drive your daughter to ballet, for example, then return the favor another week.

My friend had to go out of state to visit her elderly grandfather and I gladly took her son to baseball with my daughter to help her out. Her husband works long hours and her MIL who was helping out could never have successfully found the baseball field, and had her other 2 kids to deal with, so I helped out. And given that he's in school 8-3, then I picked him up from school, took him to baseball, then returned him home at 6pm, seems she had coverage for him the entire day. Would have worked had she been in jury duty or out of state like she was.

Now if all the kids are very young and are home all day then I can see that being a real chore to get a babysitter.

Most kids here have multiple activities after school. In fact, none of the parents I am friends with (myself included) even allow playdates after school because of the limited time they have. Of course in an emergency that would be different. All of my children are not school age. They are quite young. In your situation your friend had her MIL and DH to help out as well as you. Your friend is very lucky to have you.

 

[justhat]

Yes, you can interview someone and they can turn on the charm but at least you have the opportunity to do so and to also research where your child is going. You can ask other parents, check the BBB, check their state compliance record etc.
As for how I handle activities. My children are in a ton of activities. They are young so we do not drop them off at any of them. One of us is always there. Now, there are activities that I would not have a problem dropping them off if I had to because I know the people who run it very well. As for summer camps, well not many kids here go to camp. I personally do not believe in summer sleep away camps for kids. I don't look down or fault anyone who does, it is simply not something that I think is needed. My kids get to experience plenty (we make sure of it) without sleeping away. We don't know anyone who sends their kids to sleepaway camp here. Day camps do happen but my children have no interest in it. If they did want to go to say a week long day camp for something I would make sure that I looked into it, met the people they would be interacting with and I would do my own research. If I felt that it was a safe place etc. then I would let them go .I would think that is what any parent would do. I wouldn't just blindly sign them up somewhere without knowing anything about it. Of course, I personally like to know everything about anything I do even if it doesn't involve my kids.

None of our camps were sleepaway camps. My daughter is 5yo so that's not even an option at this age anyway. All day camps. But all totally new to her and I, none of which were places other kids we know had attended. I dropped her off Monday morning, she walked into her classroom/meeting area, and that was that. I could have gone in and talked with each teacher, but given that other kids were there it would have taken away time from their supervision. Meeting them in advance was often not an option as many of the camps had high school/college kids working there and they rotated groups often so you never knew who would be your child's specific counselor. She also went to a pony camp this summer where I not only trusted them to care for my child, but be sure she was safe while riding a horse.

Also, dropoff activities start at age 3 here so even my son goes to gymnastics, soccer, and swimming on his own. I usually wait there simply because his classes are still fairly short (30-45 minutes), but I can't sit on the pool deck, inside the gym, etc. There are waiting areas behind glass, but you can't be with your child.

But the point you make about interviewing, going to the BBB, asking other parents, why can't you do that at the jury duty daycare? You have months to prepare. You can go to the courthouse with your kids, let them see the place, you can meet the staff, talk to parents picking their kids up after jury duty, etc. Seems like an easy fix if you're worried about the care they will receive while you are in jury duty.

 

[Becky2005]

No one said they don't have 'time to be bothered' with jury duty. We've said that the current system places a large burden on families with young children.

Where did any of us say we wouldn't serve???? We said that is can be very very difficult and that there should be something in place to ease that burden (childcare, higher pay, etc.)

Yet, there ARE places with childcare in place for serving on the jury to ease the burden & others are saying that's not good enough. So, that leaves you back at square one doesn't it?

And as someone else pointed out, if you get thrown in jail for contempt of court, you are going to have BIGGER childcare issues than jury duty, plus a whole host of other issues to go along with it (I'm assuming some sort of fine too which then adds to the financial burden).

I don't think jury duty is *ever* easy for anyone but it's part of living in the United States. There is always something better that someone can think they have to do (vacation, wedding, work, childcare, weather (hey in the winter, a blizzard is possible), I don't like the idea of having to drive in it for jury duty!), for that matter lack of a driver's license to GET to the courthouse -- I could come up with a billion excuses).

At least here, we get a notice months in advance asking you "when is the best time for you to serve" and you get to choose the month and you fill it out with all pertinent information such as if you have been convicted of a felony yourself, know anyone who has been, etc...

Here's a question for you all with the childcare -- what would you do if you had a 1 month old baby & you were subpoenad to testify in a court case? You don't really get the option of NOT going & then you don't get called to the stand that day but have to go back the next day & do it all over again. This happened to me in real life, I would have had to FIND somehow, someway childcare & BOTH DH & I were there to testify, so couldn't even leave the baby home with DH. Sometimes in life you just have to do what you have to do because it's required of you.

 

[justhat]

Most kids here have multiple activities after school. In fact, none of the parents I am friends with (myself included) even allow playdates after school because of the limited time they have. Of course in an emergency that would be different. All of my children are not school age. They are quite young. In your situation your friend had her MIL and DH to help out as well as you. Your friend is very lucky to have you.

My friend isn't lucky-she helps me out too. As do many parents from my kids school. We take turns. No one feels owed that way. And many of the parents work so they are not all SAHMs. In fact, living in DC, most parents I know work, few are SAHMs.

Not all, obviously, but many people in jury duty also have another parent to help out like my friend. Maybe not a MIL (I have no family within 4 hours of us), but a spouse. Again, not everyone, but many. So in my example, I brought the little boy home at 6pm, when baseball ended. His dad was still at work, but had he not been I could have taken the boy back to my house, fed him dinner, and waited for dad to pick him up. Assuming the mom was still in jury duty, and at 6pm that seems unlikely.

Kids near you seriously never have playdates after school? That's very foreign to me. Do the kids really have activities M-F at such young ages? Or are they that time consuming? This afternoon my kids have swim lessons. 3 kids from our school also swim at the same time/place. I could easily take one of those kids home afterschool, give them a snack, let them play a bit, then head to swimming. Tomorrow my kids have gymnastics, again with other kids from school in the same classes. We head there straight from school but I could easily take a kid home with me after class (as well as drive that kid to class) if the parent were busy.

 

[robinb]

Can we not paint all SAHM's with the same brush. Please.

I'm currently a SAHM and I don't feel at all that I'm any better than a working mom. In fact, there are many days that I feel my DD would be better off if I did work and she was in day care.

Psssst! I'm a SAHM .

 

[ZachnElli]

Actually, it is easy for some people to do jury duty. My parents are both retired and are at 60 and 65 years young, very capable of serving jury duty. My mom has NEVER been called, why? There should be a better system in place. Why are some people never called and some people called as soon as their time is up? There should be some way to sign up for it voluntarily. I'd do it now. But when I was called, I had just moved to that state, dh was working a new job, so no vacation time, I didn't know anyone yet, no family within 1200 miles, I was a SAHM AND dh's boss was called the same week I was, so he couldn't cover for my dh! I also called local daycare places to ask about temporary child care and I was LAUGHED at! I could so do it now and gladly would, why can't I sign up for it?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

The kids here don't get home from school until fairly late. Many days we have less than an hour to eat and do homework before activities start. Some activities run until 7 or 8 at night. It is very common here. Very few kids have nothing to do after school. Even if you aren't in any activities by the time you do homework etc. you have at best an hour for a playdate before it is dinner time.

 

[justhat]

Yet, there ARE places with childcare in place for serving on the jury to ease the burden & others are saying that's not good enough. So, that leaves you back at square one doesn't it?

Here's a question for you all with the childcare -- what would you do if you had a 1 month old baby & you were subpoenad to testify in a court case? You don't really get the option of NOT going & then you don't get called to the stand that day but have to go back the next day & do it all over again. This happened to me in real life, I would have had to FIND somehow, someway to find childcare & BOTH DH & I were there to testify, so couldn't even leave the baby home with DH. Sometimes in life you just have to do what you have to do because it's required of you.

Very good points.

 

[RadioNate]

Yet, there ARE places with childcare in place for serving on the jury to ease the burden & others are saying that's not good enough. So, that leaves you back at square one doesn't it?

And as someone else pointed out, if you get thrown in jail for contempt of court, you are going to have BIGGER childcare issues than jury duty, plus a whole host of other issues to go along with it (I'm assuming some sort of fine too which then adds to the financial burden).

I don't think jury duty is *ever* easy for anyone but it's part of living in the United States. There is always something better that someone can think they have to do (vacation, wedding, work, childcare, weather (hey in the winter, a blizzard is possible), I don't like the idea of having to drive in it for jury duty!), for that matter lack of a driver's license to GET to the courthouse -- I could come up with a billion excuses).

At least here, we get a notice months in advance asking you "when is the best time for you to serve" and you get to choose the month and you fill it out with all pertinent information such as if you have been convicted of a felony yourself, know anyone who has been, etc...

Here's a question for you all with the childcare -- what would you do if you had a 1 month old baby & you were subpoenad to testify in a court case? You don't really get the option of NOT going & then you don't get called to the stand that day but have to go back the next day & do it all over again. This happened to me in real life, I would have had to FIND somehow, someway to find childcare & BOTH DH & I were there to testify, so couldn't even leave the baby home with DH. Sometimes in life you just have to do what you have to do because it's required of you.

It doesn't leave me at square one. It might leave another poster that way but not me. If I lived in an area that provided child care (which my current area doesn't), I'd likely use it. Maybe not for a 1 month old but for my nearly 2 year old. Ok. I'd do what I'd have to do. I don't think I'd be thrilled about it but if I had to, I'd have to.

I think jury duty is far easier on my single working professional friends. They all seem to love going. One childless married went a week or 2 ago for 2 days and sad that he didn't make a jury.

If I were in your situation, my mom would have flown down to watch the 1 month old. I assume you knew the date a week or 2 in advance. I'd have her stay a week or so to cover any additional days I may need to be available.

I have served in Illinois (3x - always dismissed once I interview) and only once did I get a best time to serve questionnaire. At that time I was going to college in Iowa so I listed a time I'd be home and was reassigned that time.

Something like that would be helpful in planning to serve. Add that to my list of potential solutions. Asking people when they'd be available, instead of just assigning a date with little notice.

Here in FL, I got my summons about 3 weeks out. It was the summer so I had 2 children home. I wrote a brief explanation of why I needed it and asked for a deferment. Lack of childcare was one of the criteria that it listed. About 3 days before I was to appear, I got a letter granting the deferment.