Jury Duty is not family-friendly!

[DVCLiz]

Ah there you go talking common sense and all. Shame on you!

I know - it's my fatal flaw...

 

[aprilgail2]

For those of you with no childcare what would you do if you had to be hospitalized for any reason for days and your husband could not get off work?? Who would watch the kids? Or if he wanted to go to the hospital to visit and there are no kids allowed would he not be able to go visit you because you have no friends and no family close by to watch the kids??

 

[mtemm]

For those of you with no childcare what would you do if you had to be hospitalized for any reason for days and your husband could not get off work?? Who would watch the kids? Or if he wanted to go to the hospital to visit and there are no kids allowed would he not be able to go visit you because you have no friends and no family close by to watch the kids??

my husband would have to take the time, its as simple as that. he could visit in the evenings (usually hospitals have evening visiting hours) when a friend could watch the kids, or if possible do a quick swing in in the mornings. my twins have morning kindergarten, so from 9-11:30 he'd be able to. depending on how long I was in the hospital, my parents might come up from virginia. but no, they wouldn't come up for jury duty.

am curious, what would you suggest? I am not being fresh/sarcastic, I'd really like to know of any other solution for sahm's and those without nearby family to pitch in. I'm seeing a lot of people who are taken aback by those of us who don't have ready daytime childcare at our disposal, but I'm not seeing a lot of recommendations on finding it.

Am wondering if anybody has a possible solution.

 

[mhsjax]

For those of you with no childcare what would you do if you had to be hospitalized for any reason for days and your husband could not get off work?? Who would watch the kids? Or if he wanted to go to the hospital to visit and there are no kids allowed would he not be able to go visit you because you have no friends and no family close by to watch the kids??

I guess I understand both sides. I actually had to let my hubby go the the ER by ambulance by himself because no family here and it was very early in the am. I went to pick him up and had to wait in the waiting room with the kids until he was ready.And for jury duty almost all of neighbors work, so that would not have been an option. My hubby I am sure could have gotten out of work, so that would not have been as issue, however I can see in some circumstances where it would be a problem for some. So it isn't like you have no friends close by, most people work these days. And no we don't have family close by at all.

As for the poster who said that if they couldn't afford daycare for a few days, they would make a lifestyle change, Maybe that lifestyle change is why a person could not afford daycare for a few days. Just read the paper and listen to the news, Some families both parents are losing their jobs. I find that posters attitude to be very rude and judgmental.

All that being said, yes I do think it is your duty to serve on jury duty if called. would I want to? No, but I would and thankfully my kids are old enough now to take care of themselves if they had to.

 

[Briarmom]

For those of you with no childcare what would you do if you had to be hospitalized for any reason for days and your husband could not get off work?? Who would watch the kids? Or if he wanted to go to the hospital to visit and there are no kids allowed would he not be able to go visit you because you have no friends and no family close by to watch the kids??

No idea. That's the way life in the military works. He might not be home. Hell, he might not be home for months but I've never lived anywhere near family.

 

[mtemm]

What is crazy is that some people are saying they wouldn't even use the free childcare provided, yet complain that they have no one to watch their kids. And no one seems to have replied to my statement that you could go to the free daycare in advance and meet the staff, check references, talk to parents, etc. That would solve the 'stranger' issue and you'd be able to serve without a hardship.

I'd use it, if it was available. of course, the problem is my twins go to school from 9-11:30, so who would provide the transportation to the childcare? I doubt they would stop the trial in order for me to go get them and do it.

I suppose they could miss school for the length of the trial, but that's not a good solution either.

of course, thinking about it, my husband might be able to (assume he isn't travelling) grab them and take them to the childcare.

but it isn't even an option here.

 

[RadioNate]

For those of you with no childcare what would you do if you had to be hospitalized for any reason for days and your husband could not get off work?? Who would watch the kids? Or if he wanted to go to the hospital to visit and there are no kids allowed would he not be able to go visit you because you have no friends and no family close by to watch the kids??

Well, I've said before I don't have NO childcare. I have difficult and expensive child care.

If I were in the hospital long term (more than a day or 2) my mom would fly from Chicago to watch my kids.

In the short term, my neighbor could watch them for an hour or two or we'd hire a sitter. My (working) neighbor watching my kids for an hour in the evening is different than needing all day care for my 22 month old.

I said, I don't have any GOOD options for something like jury duty not that I didn't have no options at all.

And to me jury duty is FAR different than a hospital stay. I would be much more comfortable asking a family member to drive the 2+ hours to watch my kids if I were hospitalized than if I had to go serve jury duty.

I also don't think anyone is talking about one-day local jury duty being a big issue. The OP referenced federal jury duty in which the person is required to available weeks at a time. That is a lot of time to ask someone to be on call. I know you don't always have to go daily but generally you don't know if you have to go until the night before. That is even if you aren't selected. If you are selected some trials COULD take months.

I don't think it is crazy to say that the system could do better in regards to lessening the burden on families. Onsite childcare is only one of the options I presented. Higher pay would also lessen the burden. Sure for a few days I can easily pay the extra $70 or so dollars paying for childcare would require. But factor that in for a few weeks, it gets tougher. Letting people chose their times would also be helpful then I could pick a time where I'd have someone like my mom come stay.

 

[NotUrsula]

For a lot of people, the answer is a church. When their backs are up against the wall, they call their pastor and beg, and very often the pastor knows someone who can pitch in. Sometimes the person isn't even a church member, but turns to the church because they can't think of anyone else to help. You can call social services, too -- they have lists of agencies that might be able to help.

I've had a neighbor that I've only waved to in passing come to my door and tell me that her dog had just been hit by a car, and would I come over to her home and watch the baby for a couple of hours while she rushed to the vet. I went, because it is what a kind person does when someone is in trouble. I took my own toddler with me to her home, and she understood that.

At the risk of channeling Blanche DuBois, it *is* possible to fall upon the kindness of strangers. None of us like doing it, but sometimes when life throws you a curve you just have no choice but to make that leap and trust someone that you don't know.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Nobody said you had to WANT to spend money on childcare in order to be on the jury. But to be so tight that you couldn't do it if you had to is not a place I would want my family to be in. Period.

And this thread is not about how the economy has affected your family's finances.

Wow. Get a nose bleed from being up on that pedestal much?

It is really nice that you don't want your family to be in that position and I am sure that nobody wants to be in that position but the reality is that many people are in that position and it isn't by choice. I am sure that there are many people who have lost their jobs who have exhausted their savings and are just getting by that never wanted their family to be in that position. I am glad though that no matter what happens to you and your family that you will have a neverending supply of money.

Oh- and I didn't say anything about the ecomony effecting my family's finances. I made a broad statement saying that many are effected by the ecomony right now.

 

[justhat]

I'd use it, if it was available. of course, the problem is my twins go to school from 9-11:30, so who would provide the transportation to the childcare? I doubt they would stop the trial in order for me to go get them and do it.

I suppose they could miss school for the length of the trial, but that's not a good solution either.

of course, thinking about it, my husband might be able to (assume he isn't travelling) grab them and take them to the childcare.

but it isn't even an option here.

Well that was my issue, my daughter was too young for the free daycare but also in school from 8-11:30 so someone had to be able to pick her up, but not really provide full day care. I could have opted out due to her age, but instead I had my mom visit for the weekend and she stayed till Monday (whenI had jury duty). I knew I wouldn't be chosen for a trial because here, if your child is too young for the free care then you can be exempted from serving. My mom works so staying all week wouldn't have been an option. In the event I did serve on a trial I would have needed another parent from her school to pick her up and bring her home until either my husband or I got out.

I find that in most cases here, parents are more than willing to take your kid home from school and keep them a few hours as long as there is reciprocation. Some would likely do it without that, but I do find that offering to take their kid works wonders.

 

[jrmasm]

I don't think it is crazy to say that the system could do better in regards to lessening the burden on families.

And how should the system change to lessen the burden on those without children, with elderly parents, with no savings, with no vacation days? Should the system provide temps to the employer to lessen the burden in the workplace?

I'm pretty sure that none of us can afford that system.

 

[justhat]

For those of you with no childcare what would you do if you had to be hospitalized for any reason for days and your husband could not get off work?? Who would watch the kids? Or if he wanted to go to the hospital to visit and there are no kids allowed would he not be able to go visit you because you have no friends and no family close by to watch the kids??

My husband cannot take off from work at all. No sick days, nothing. When our son was born he was literally off half a day when I went into labor and that was it. It was a Friday and my husband worked overnight on Saturday. Such is the life of a resident.

So I think you bring up a very good point. I, for example, will be in that very situation in January when our 3rd is born. I luckily have established a network of friends who are very willing to help out where they can and will gladly take my kids. My mom will come down, but she's 4 hours away so we will need someone in the meantime. Plus she's not great at finding her way around DC since she doesn't live here so friends will be taking the kids to/from activities.

I know that when you first move somewhere it is tough to find people to rely on, but I think it's important to have at least someone you can call in a pinch. And once the kids are school age I think it is even easier because they are typically gone much of the day so they only need care for a limited time period.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

am curious, what would you suggest? I am not being fresh/sarcastic, I'd really like to know of any other solution for sahm's and those without nearby family to pitch in. I'm seeing a lot of people who are taken aback by those of us who don't have ready daytime childcare at our disposal, but I'm not seeing a lot of recommendations on finding it.

Am wondering if anybody has a possible solution.

Here it is called "drop-in" daycare or emergency daycare. It is specifically for the unplanned stuff. If you tell me what city you are in I will try and locate one for you.

This type of daycare is used for hospitalizations, jury duty, illness etc.

I cannot imagine having NO plan for life's occurences.

PS - Work is not always family friendly either!

 

[wvjules]

Here it is called "drop-in" daycare or emergency daycare. It is specifically for the unplanned stuff. If you tell me what city you are in I will try and locate one for you.

This type of daycare is used for hospitalizations, jury duty, illness etc.

I cannot imagine having NO plan for life's occurences.

PS - Work is not always family friendly either!

But WOHMs dont' care about their families so that is a moot point.

 

[merryweather20]

For a lot of people, the answer is a church. When their backs are up against the wall, they call their pastor and beg, and very often the pastor knows someone who can pitch in. Sometimes the person isn't even a church member, but turns to the church because they can't think of anyone else to help. You can call social services, too -- they have lists of agencies that might be able to help.

I've had a neighbor that I've only waved to in passing come to my door and tell me that her dog had just been hit by a car, and would I come over to her home and watch the baby for a couple of hours while she rushed to the vet. I went, because it is what a kind person does when someone is in trouble. I took my own toddler with me to her home, and she understood that.

At the risk of channeling Blanche DuBois, it *is* possible to fall upon the kindness of strangers. None of us like doing it, but sometimes when life throws you a curve you just have no choice but to make that leap and trust someone that you don't know.

Even in your example it is only a couple of hours. In a dire emergency I could have a neighbour or my minister's family look after the kids for a couple of hours. 4 weeks? No.

 

[allison443]

I think this whole thread is silly. Jury duty has the potential to cause disruption in anyone's life that is called to serve. Not just families with children.

I agree...years ago I was working in a different state and my childcare was in that state, near my office. Then I got called for jury duty in the county where I live. Yeah, it was a logistical headache but we worked something out.

I have had to go I think twice more since then. Yes, it is quite inconvenient but it's one of those "what can you do?" things. NJ used to have quite a few automatic exemptions but almost all have been eliminated.

Most recently when I went, I was working on a per diem basis so I lost a day's pay in addition to the childcare hassles. The jury duty pay didn't make up for it! However it is a necessary part of living in the US.

 

[Missy1961]

I think this whole thread is silly. Jury duty has the potential to cause disruption in anyone's life that is called to serve. Not just families with children.

100% true. But that's part of the price we pay for living here. So many say our system is the best (I believe that it is), but we all have to do our part. Like most of you, when I get that summons I grumble a bit, but I go.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Do teachers not count? I have NO long term childcare coverage.. My brother watches the older kids on the weekend for me if I need to get out but I dont have a ton of extra money to be paying babysitters 10+$ an hour to watch 4 kids its just not gonna happen! My family besides my brother is dead.. all dead. We haven't seen or talked to his family in 4 years so they are strangers to my kids and I'd rather be thrown in jail or live on the streets than have them watch them anyway that's a whole other subject

Who would watch your kids while your in jail?

To be put out a few days of your life for the chance to live in a "innocent until proven guilty" society IMO is not asking to much.

I don't understand the trend that people assume nothing has to be asked on them to live in a free country.

 

[DawnCt1]

In Connecticut, if you are called to jury duty, you serve one day unless you are selected to sit on a jury for a trial, and then you are there for the duration. DS#1 returned to college and his classes were such, between clinical and classwork, that daily attendance is required. Missing a day could be the difference between pass or fail. He postponed his jury duty for 9 months out figuring by then he would be able to miss a day or two of school. When it rolled around again, it fell right into finals. He could have postponed it to serve within 30 days, but that would put him into the beginning of another trimester. He rolled the dice and took his chances. He was scheduled to serve on a Friday and court was cancelled. He is all set for another two years. We have had three DSs received jury duty summons while in college. A student on semesters can usually reschedule, but students that have trimesters have limited time in which to serve.

 

[MushyMushy]

For the poster who asked for ideas when there is no family around, here's what I would do. Get to know the neighbors and suggest emergency plans -- something you could do for them if an emergency arises, and help from them if something comes up. For short term care, call local college and/or high school or vo tech. Some of those kids are studying child care or early education and would be great to use in a pinch. Call your local social services. They might have a day care system in place. One poster mentioned being laughed at for asking about temporary options, but I know it is a possibility where I live.

Another thing you could do is get your child involved in mommy & me groups and just make friends with the other parents. I know it's hard for parents to make friends when their kids are little, but you don't have to be best buddies in order to rely on one another. Just lay it out there and tell them the situation and you're wondering if they could be your emergency backup.

Kids are a mixed blessing though. You only have to worry about it for such a few short years. They grow up way too fast. Mine are both teens now, and I really miss the years when they were little. I couldn't wait til they were older and I'd have a little more freedom. I guess the grass is always greener. (that's just me, I'm not saying anyone else feels this way)