Hiya, told ya I would be back to babble a bit this evening

for now I will babble then I need to run to the store to get Katelynn some hairdye LOL she wants to get her hair done for before trip... I am only going to get 1 box and streak the color in this time fun fun
James has his Remicade again tomorrow. As usual I have the dread feeling but hey, it will means once noon time hits tomorrow that it will be 1 week prior to leaving !!! Even though wishflight is on October 1st, we will be heading out on September 30th in limo bound for Boston, Dream Factory of Maine will be paying for us to stay the night in hotel. How fun ! makes the trip start a day early

so during treatment time tomorrow up until James falls asleep (He always falls asleep due to the high amount of benadryl they have to give him so it will reduce risk of reaction) we will be able to talk about what will be happening in the upcoming week. Too fun so at least there is something positive.
James wish Coordinater will also be coming down to the hospital to spend some time with James while he is in, Which I am appreciative of, I;m not sure why but I do not like being alone with him during those treatments. My anxiety seems to be lower if someone is with me. I find myself watching every breath in and out watching the color of his skin, watching for anything and everything which just increases the anxiety of the idea we are shoving a toxic substance into him. I am currently working on rewiring my thinking as far as these treatments go. Hopefully someday I will be in a place where I can look at them as a life saver vs a toxin. I;m getting there just not completely yet. so for now its every 6 to 8 weeks anxiety cycle. Add fact I have an extreme phobia of driving on the insterstate. The whole day is just emotionally draining.. who am I kidding the day before day of and day after is emotionally draining. Having said that. I am grateful that the treatments are available, I am grateful that a Shriner Dr took the time to meet with my son and consult with his gastroentologist to come up with a solution that not only treats the Crohn's but the Arthritis he has due from the Crohn's.
James is even excited to see Chris again

which is nice to see him happy because he has been struggling with happiness for quite some time now, even with this trip coming he still has his off days where he just can't seem to feel happy. very normal for a child/teen suffering with a chronic illness but still heartbreaking to see. Kids in school can be so cruel. He still has not gotten over the fact that some kids (even his best friend) teased him about having "retardation of growth" and that Crohn's makes you bleed so they gave him the nickname "jamiepad" ... UGH @ cruel kids. Well surprise surprise James shot up in height this summer which shocked many kids at school and now he has learned to just walk away when someone teases about his illness, he will even walk from his best friend if he starts in. that takes a huge amount of strength. I am so proud of that kiddo of mine i couldn;t even begin to express it. His strength, his will, his smiles, his outlook 99% of the time. My hero. Both of my kiddos are my hero's

It's amasing. I would have never thought when I had them that they would be the ones to teach the most in my lifetime, but they sure have. I appreciate the small things like I never did. I love life more then I ever could have...
see.. Remicade week babbles LOL
My goals for tomorrow is this. 1. Make it through the driving on interstate LOL 2. get James home safe and sound from treatment. 3. Get that packing list written !!!!!!!
hahaha packing list. goodness gracious seriously I am thinking now maybe I will consider packing the day before? the morning of? LOLOL jussst kidding but it will be near close on that.
This trip has so many aspects involved into it I dunno honestly what the kids are most excited about. here is a list , incomplete of course of things kids have spoken about that they are just sooo excited about
--Limo ! not for just a 10 min ride but hours !
--Staying in a hotel - James has never done this
--Flying, kids have never experianced this and Wishflight they saw the video from GKTW and both think it looks fun. we are still in the dark. the letter said that people are working on making it a special event (not exact words here but i dont have letter in front of me)
--seeing not only disney but universal as well
--so far it looks like kids want to do the
MNSSHP, so they have been talking about that
--they can't wait to see GKTW itself and see what villa we will be staying on and where on the map we will be
The list goes on and on and on
I know my two kiddos, even mum and dad will be so appreciative of this trip seeing as we have never had one. We went camping once about 8 years ago for 1 night with 7 kids if that counts? other then that nope never gone anywhere done anything. Oh wait ! we went to Funtown/Splash town for a day once several years ago. other then that nada.
Soooo Exciting ! and we have left the itin this way. We have each park individually planned with 5 things each, 2 for james and 1 for rest of us, these are the must have experinces per park. Rest of time in park will be go with flow. we do not have days planned. we have no idea what park we will do on a partic day. we plan to also leave that as a go with the flow idea. James will be our leader on this seeing as it is His wish trip

I also know he is kind to his sister and will take her ideas into consideration. so GooOOoo with the flow it is
OK babbles have gone on and on and on and Katelynn is still waiting for a run to store for hair dye LOL she wants it done tonight not tomorrow hahaha so for now I will shush my babbles and come in tomorrow hopefully with good news again of a Remicade gone perfect !!!! last round was sooo awesome hoping this is the same
*hugssss* to everyone and happy planning/reading/dreaming !