Jon and Kate Plus 8 Official Thread - Part 5

[madge]

Like I said this is going to get ugly, it already has.

www.blindgossip.com is having a field day today.

check the items BG12345

 

[brockash]

This may be long so I apologize up front. I also wanted to put the caveat out there that I'm not trying to change opinions as I think a majority of us already have our views about this entire situation. With that being said.....

It was extremely hard for me to watch Monday's episode near the end. I truly felt a sense of sadness. My DH also watched it as he has caught some of the episodes through the year.

We both have always thought it was amusing to watch the two interact with each other especially in earlier episodes. While Kate was more upfront about her bickering/bossiness - don't be fooled into thinking Jon was just a victim - Jon got quite a few sly ones in himself. I think this bantering with each other was nothing more than normal husband/wife venting/bickering.

I truly believe in the early days - even up until the last year or so - they really did love each other. You can see the genuine smiles as they interacted with the kids AND each other.

I'm not quite sure where they got off track. Both are most certainly to blame for things through the years BUT in regards to the most recent issues of the last 6-7 months it seems that Jon checked out awhile ago. It seemed even more obvious as he was giving his interview this past Monday. I asked my DH what he thought about the episode and he blatantly said "Jon needs to grow up". "I'm only 32 years old" and "Excited" in addition with the newly pierced ears really threw me for a loop. He apparently feels robbed of his youth and now is having a mid-life crisis (kind of early in my opinion).

I found it "pathetic" to say he is now standing up on his own two feet and basically isn't going to take it anymore (Think KISS "We're not going to take it"). I'd bet the farm that Kate was bossy/control freak when they first dated/got married and most likely got exaggerated as the show/years progressed. That's her problem to work on and should have been addressed fairly soon as it got "to much" for Jon so that they could work on it. However, I don't think the behavior Jon is exhibiting these past months is something that was present when they first dated/got married. You can't be one way in a relationship for 9 or so years and then suddenly do a 180 and expect it to be ok.

In my opinion Jon did not handle the last several months very well. I think he made a decision awhile ago about getting out. In his mind, it wasn't worth the effort to do counseling or salvage what they had left. Since his "love" was gone for Kate he started to act more like a non-married person.

Flame time...
I believe someone said they understood why Mady is the way she is - there is nothing wrong with Mady. I think she is a completely well balanced child who likes to pout when she doesn't get her way - which I have rarely seen Jon or Kate give in to her way when acts that way. If the response she gave was correct after being told that her parents were divorcing she is a pretty well adjusted child. Cara on the other hand is going to have alot of issues with this - she's somewhat a daddy's girl as they had more in common (sports, skiing, etc.). This is going to be a very tough road for her.

While the older girls will have memories of a closer family at one point in their lives the younger ones will probably have less of those memories/images. When you grow up with your parents always apart, or at least during the years you can remember, then its not a huge adjustment as you get older. I think the younger ones will also be fine.

I think some people are being a bit hard on Kate for going to the press or speaking out. I'm sure she feels very scorned by Jon and I think she would rather have at least tried to go to counseling or work on it rather then him changing into a new person and shutting down. It's human nature that when you feel attacked or wronged to defend yourself and I think that is what she is doing. She's hurt because she hadn't already made up her mind to get out, at least yet. I'm not saying its right by any means but I can completely understand where she is coming from.

Where I am coming from....
I'm from a "broken" home. But I remember the pre-divorce era and the post-divorce era. My parents were married for 17 years and got divorced when I was 14, my sister 13 and my brother 6. I saw my mother check out of the marriage long before my father even knew. By the time she told him, it was to late and she was "excited" about her new life. Don't get me wrong - they were both at fault for the problems in their marriage and neither are blameless.

Let's pray this does not turn into an ugly battle. Luckily Mady and Cara are to young to be pulled into court, or at least any reasonable Judge won't want to pull them into court for any questioning, etc.

Now that I have written my book...

That's basically how I feel as well. And the thing about Maddy...I just think it's rediculous that ppl. have said "oh well this is why she's the way she is" I agree, that I don't think there's anything wrong with her either. She and Cara are different kids, and react and act differently. I have a 7 year old son that get's attitude at times. Yes, Maddy is more dramatic, but I don't think anything is wrong with her. I think she's completely in the range of norm for a girl her age, and I think it's sad that ppl. that don't even know her would speak badly about a child, just to prove some kind of point about how "horrible" they think her parents are.

 

[Epcot luvr]

www.blindgossip.com is having a field day today.

check the items BG12345

Big sigh, it hasn't even been a week. Who do I give the shovel to, Kate has strong arms. Jon can just use that tractor I guess, they need to make it big enough for two.

 

[dairyou]

When I read this I think " well if it was a male dis'er posted .........
And how do we know Kate didn't ........
It is immpossible to know who did what with whom and it will just keep going in the same circle. I do not think at this point anybody is going to change their opinions unless some major evidence about jon or kate is brought forward. At least I am not

Oh, is this a debate? I didn't know we were trying to change each others opinions. My post was an observance. This a public forum. I don't take each posts very seriously. We don't know each other and it's not like anyones opinion would ever be taken seriously in my life.

 

[mla1977]

In PA you have two options for divorce (actually another option too). The 90-day divorce and the 2 year divorce. The 90-day is granted if no one contests the divorce and the 2-year is granted if someone contests the divorce.

I am certain her attorney knows what she is doing. She works for one of the largest law firms in the area.

(PA is one of the few states that still has "at-fault" divorce. A person can claim abandonment, fraud, etc. I don't know how that affects the 90-day/2-year waiting periods though.)

 

[C.Ann]

Yes but you were the one who was outraged that people were even using the word 'hate'. Nobody said who can and can't use it but rather defined what it meant. You took it to mean something quite drastic I believe, like running down someone with your car.
.

I am not debating this again.. I do not need an education in what the definition is "per the dictionary" - nor do I need to be told to "enlighten" others as to what that definition is.. I don't think others on this thread require a definition from the "dictionary" either - yet it had to be clarified again by the same person.. Why was that? I wasn't even on this thread when the second round of "educating" people occured.. Actually I thought the educator had moved on from that need.. Obviously I was wrong.. I've said the last I have to say on this matter.. If the drivel continues, so be it.. The closing of this thread is not going to be laid on my feet.. All further comments and responses on this matter will be ignored by me from this point on so this thread doesn't end up closed..
If that is more important than being "right", perhaps others will follow suit..

How's this? I am "Team Kids" - always have been, always will be.. And now it's back to defending what I see as the most important aspect of this thread - 8 little children..

 

[madge]

Actually, I thought her filing on Monday could hurt the ratings because for sure everyone knew the "big announcement" once one of them filed (at the time we didn't know who filed).

there is speculation that Kate (or her lawyer) somehow thought they could file in another county, around the time the offices close for the day, and not be noticed... which all goes back to TLC editing in the screen about the divorce.

I swear, I straddle the fence on this whole thing. I wish that (and know it isn't going to happen) someone from TLC who is neutral would speak out about what happened. There is some version of the truth out there. I'm dizzy from the spinning of the whole mess... it's like being stuck on the Mad Tea Party for days. But at the same time, I wish they'd all shut the heck up... and stop riding the daggone drama llama.

 

[jpaxton1118]

OMG! I was not trying to start anything by saying I don't like the way some people are catorgrized as Kate Haters. I was not really even talking about the word hate. Lets just agree to disagree on this subject.

Now on to a different subject. I just cannot see how they can say seperated 2 years either money or emotionally. They renewed their vows. Whether or not they were seperated before the renewal the fact still remains they renenwed their vows.

 

[madge]

Big sigh, it hasn't even been a week. Who do I give the shovel to, Kate has strong arms. Jon can just use that tractor I guess, they need to make it big enough for two.

no kidding. I do wonder how much truth there is in what blind gossip is posting.

The thing is, TLC won't need 5 weeks to figure out what to do about the show. These two could, quite possibly, self destruct before the end of June.

 

[C.Ann]

First thought this divorce is going to get ugly.

When I first read and saw the papers filed for divorce they were marked as sealed. There was also mention that nobody was going to get a look at them.

Then the AP got a look,made me go hmmm??
Then the announce of the 2 year thingy.
Quickly TMZ is reporting that it was a misunderstanding Kate checked it to cover all her bases to get the ball rolling in case Jon contested.

This is what I am thinking, Kate thought the papers were sealed and that the check was done because they have not been living as man and wife for two years. Nobody would find out they had not been living husband and wife because they were sealed. Then, when AP printed the "check mark" it was damage control mode because they knew peopled were going to be very angry that they had been duped for the last 2 years.

Also, if Kate said in the interview with People that Jon asked for a divorce and this interview was done Thursday, why on earth would she think he was going to contest it.
Finally I can't imagine a lawyer telling a client to check something that is not true to cover there behinds. I think Kate checked it and it was because for the last 2 years they were just roommates.

Like I said this is going to get ugly, it already has. The lawyers will be very happy $$. Maybe they will not even be able to film in August if things keep going down hill with regards to how they are treating each other the divorce judge might step in and put a hault to it all. especially if he has concern for the well being of the kids and how this wil effect them. I am not familar with divorce but I do think kids the court has some responsibliity to their welfare ? Hope that all makes some sense.

I don't know how anyone - least of all Jon & Kate - could ever possibly believe that this was going to be kept "private".. First of all, people can be "bought" - second of all, they haven't kept anything private themselves..

"Ugly" doesn't even begin to describe how this is going to go down.. "Greed" on both of their parts has been around as long as the show has been around.. Does anyone think a divorce is going to change that??

 

[Epcot luvr]

Oh, is this a debate? I didn't know we were trying to change each others opinions. My post was an observance. This a public forum. I don't take each posts very seriously. We don't know each other and it's not like anyones opinion would ever be taken seriously in my life.

I should have been clear, my apologies. Not a debate with you. This thread(s) I should have staed, I was using your post as an example one of so many, it keeps turning into a debate . Trust me I have had some pretty good tag teams on me. This was not you, my bad.

 

[Nik's Mom]

Boy,things got ugly in the few hours I was away. Looks like this will be an ugly divorce. People seem to be taking sides around here. In my opinion, both Kate and Jon were at fault. Kate treated Jon like a child and Jon often acted like one. And they certainly did not show respect for each other on camera. It's sad because there were some moments when they really seemed to love each other. But then the next scene would be so ugly.

In the end, I think divorce is best for the kids. They would finally get some peace in their lives...except for the TLC camera crew shoved in their faces. I'd have more respect for Jon and Kate if they said "we're getting a divorce and have decided to stop the show so our children could have some peace." Then, slowly but surely the photographers and magazine covers would go away. But instead, they have decided to continue, regardless of the effects it will have on the kids. For that, they've lost my respect.

 

[LKHomemail]

no one really knows what goes on behind the closed doors. it is possible that kate had the fling with the personal trainer , and then later jon had a fling with deanna (others?) .

in so far as the renewal of vows, kate said,we are doing this because we want the kids to know that mommy and daddy will be together forever ?
why would the kids ever question at that point that mommy and daddy wouldn't be together ? makes you think something had been going on then. is it possible that the marriage had broken up then and they reconciled at the renewal. i think jodi said they split up right after the renewal.

it is sad to see any marriage come to an end. i think it would be incredible story if they could put the marriage back together and start a new life.
sadly, i don't think this is how it will play out.

 

[dairyou]

I should have been clear, my apologies. Not a debate with you. This thread(s) I should have staed, I was using your post as an example one of so many, it keeps turning into a debate . Trust me I have had some pretty good tag teams on me. This was not you, my bad.

I wasn't mad. You just have to take the Disboards what it is. Many different opinions. Many say opinions are like a**holes. Everyone has one

Deb

 

[Epcot luvr]

I don't know how anyone - least of all Jon & Kate - could ever possibly believe that this was going to be kept "private".. First of all, people can be "bought" - second of all, they haven't kept anything private themselves..

"Ugly" doesn't even begin to describe how this is going to go down.. "Greed" on both of their parts has been around as long as the show has been around.. Does anyone think a divorce is going to change that??

C.Ann, I think you only look at links where it comes from Jon or Kate? I may be wrong, check out the one posted by Madge from Blind Gossip.

 

[jpaxton1118]

I think it is the vow renewal that has me so mad at them. WHY would you tell your children that you are going to show them that mommy and daddy are always going to be together and that they would be there to experience it with them and everything that was said and done in front of those kids. When they are older they are going to know that their parents lied to them, it is on video. They told them they would always be together and in 6 months they were seperated saying that they had been living seperate lives for years. It breaks my heart. I could not imagine putting my kids through that. As a child I would be more upset over the lie they told us and showed us then I would be about my parents just deciding to seperate. It is just sick.

 

[Epcot luvr]

Boy,things got ugly in the few hours I was away. Looks like this will be an ugly divorce. People seem to be taking sides around here. In my opinion, both Kate and Jon were at fault. Kate treated Jon like a child and Jon often acted like one. And they certainly did not show respect for each other on camera. It's sad because there were some moments when they really seemed to love each other. But then the next scene would be so ugly.

In the end, I think divorce is best for the kids. They would finally get some peace in their lives...except for the TLC camera crew shoved in their faces. I'd have more respect for Jon and Kate if they said "we're getting a divorce and have decided to stop the show so our children could have some peace." Then, slowly but surely the photographers and magazine covers would go away. But instead, they have decided to continue, regardless of the effects it will have on the kids. For that, they've lost my respect.

_____________________

I don't think either of them are going to be put on the short list for sainthood, hope I can post that.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Can someone please post or sum up the blindgossip link. I really hate that they expect me to work during the day and block those darn sites!! Come on, it's not like I would really spend my day reading non-essential websites, would I??

 

[Epcot luvr]

I think it is the vow renewal that has me so mad at them. WHY would you tell your children that you are going to show them that mommy and daddy are always going to be together and that they would be there to experience it with them and everything that was said and done in front of those kids. When they are older they are going to know that their parents lied to them, it is on video. They told them they would always be together and in 6 months they were seperated saying that they had been living seperate lives for years. It breaks my heart. I could not imagine putting my kids through that. As a child I would be more upset over the lie they told us and showed us then I would be about my parents just deciding to seperate. It is just sick.

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I am not therapist or anything, after hearing mom and dad say for-ever and then taking it back so quickly. I have a feeling they might have issues down the road with relationships and commitment?

 

[jpaxton1118]

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I am not therapist or anything, after hearing mom and dad say for-ever and then taking it back so quickly. I have a feeling they might have issues down the road with relationships and commitment?

That was my thought too. And not only do they have the memory of it but now they can watch the whole dirty lie anytime they want to.