Joke Contest

[Babyjustrun]

It's not my joke, and I can't remember where I heard it but...

A piece of string walks into a bar. He hops up onto a stool and yells
to the bartender, "Hey! Gimme a drink!" The bartender picks up the
string and throws it into the street. The string thinks, "I'll show
'im. I'll go back in disguise, he won't know it's me, and at the last
minute I'll humiliate him. So the string contorts its body into a
whole different shape, and frizzes its hair ala a 'fro. It goes back
in, hops onto the stool and asks for a drink. The bartender says,
"You're that piece of string I threw out 5 minutes ago." The string
answers, "No. I'm a frayed knot."

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

It's not my joke, and I can't remember where I heard it but...

A piece of string walks into a bar. He hops up onto a stool and yells
to the bartender, "Hey! Gimme a drink!" The bartender picks up the
string and throws it into the street. The string thinks, "I'll show
'im. I'll go back in disguise, he won't know it's me, and at the last
minute I'll humiliate him. So the string contorts its body into a
whole different shape, and frizzes its hair ala a 'fro. It goes back
in, hops onto the stool and asks for a drink. The bartender says,
"You're that piece of string I threw out 5 minutes ago." The string
answers, "No. I'm a frayed knot."

 

[reminisce]

What did the farmer say when he walked into his barn and saw a brown cow and a brown chicken?



BROWNCHICKENBROWNCOW!!!



I love that joke

i feel really stupid---i dont get it

 

[cindys_castle2011]

Q: Why is it dangerous to walk in the jungle between 3 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants jump out of the trees.
Q: Why are pygmies so small?
A: They walked in the jungle between 3 and 4 in the afternoon.

(IM REALLLY SORRRRY IF THIS SEEMS RACIST. TELL ME AND ILL TAKE IT OFF. IF IT DOES.)

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white
stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't
know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did
and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other
zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are
what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black
stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."

 

[cindys_castle2011]

i feel really stupid---i dont get it

LIKE BOWCHICKAWOWOW..
TRY AND SAY IT IN THE TUNE THAT THEY SAY BOWCHIKAWOWOW IN.
AND YOU'LL SEE WHERE IT COMING FROM.

 

[reminisce]

LIKE BOWCHICKAWOWOW..
TRY AND SAY IT IN THE TUNE THAT THEY SAY BOWCHIKAWOWOW IN.
AND YOU'LL SEE WHERE IT COMING FROM.

oh haha i feel stupid now

 

[Packfan25]

these are really funny

 

[BabyPiglet]

Am I the only one that doesnt get this?

When a guys zipper is open we say 'Your fly is open.'

So the flies say 'Your man is open.'

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

When a guys zipper is open we say 'Your fly is open.'

So the flies say 'Your man is open.'

Oh!
Gotcha!!


Wow,
I feel dumb now.

 

[llama62]

To boys, "That's what she said"

Makes em laugh every time.

 

[Babyjustrun]

I personally don't find the 'That what she said' joke funny at all.
I've never used it and never will.
It's as lame as the 'your mom' jokes.
Ugh god.

 

[llama62]

I personally don't find the 'That what she said' joke funny at all.
I've never used it and never will.
It's as lame as the 'your mom' jokes.
Ugh god.

You have to use it in the right context

 

[RaggedyAnnPrincess]

Knock knock
Who's there?
Me, I kill you!


Not my joke... Jeff Dunham said it..

I love that one!

 

[RaggedyAnnPrincess]

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him?"

 

[Babyjustrun]

You have to use it in the right context

Nah.
I've heard it a thousand times in the right context.
Still isn't funny.
I'm not big on sexual jokes, I don't find them funny.

 

[cindys_castle2011]

I personally don't find the 'That what she said' joke funny at all.
I've never used it and never will.
It's as lame as the 'your mom' jokes.
Ugh god.

wait someone explain.
i dont get this.

 

[Stitch&figment 4 eve]

I personally don't find the 'That what she said' joke funny at all.
I've never used it and never will.
It's as lame as the 'your mom' jokes.
Ugh god.

I guess it's more for Office fans, that is Michael Scott's famous line.

 

[RaggedyAnnPrincess]

I guess it's more for Office fans, that is Michael Scott's famous line.

Yessssssss! Exactly!

 

[Princess victoria]

You have to use it in the right context

pahaha
it is pretty funny when you say it at the right time

 

[angelfire]

Am I the only one that doesnt get this?

you know how if your zipper is undone you say your flies open well since there flies they say your mans open.