Joke Contest

[Minnie Squeaks]

what is the best joke ever??....

ur face
lol
that one isnt so great but i got it off line

 

[CastawayJ]

why does chuck norris have a boyfriend

he ran out of women

 

[reid_man]

what did the fish say when he ran into a concrete wall?






Dam.

 

[wilmabride'sdaughter]

Wheres george and his muffin joke. XD

Two muffins are in an oven.
Onemuffin turns to the other and says, hey its hot in here.
They other muffin turns and says... OMG A TALKING MUFFIN!

LOL i love it!!!!!!

 

[wilmabride'sdaughter]

What goes from green to red at the touch of a button?

A frog in a blender.


What is black and white and red all over?

Half a cat.


What is hard, red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.


There are two statues in a park. One day an angel came to them and said 'because you have been so good and stood still all these years i am going to give you thirty minutes to do whatever you like.' The two statues ran off into the bushes and pretty soon laughter and giggling along with lots of movement cames from the bushes. Fifteen minutes later the two statues come out from the bushes and the angel says 'wait, you still have fifteen minutes left'. The two statues looked at each other and one says to the other 'this time you hold the pigeon and ill crap on it's head.'


One day a man is walking past a mental institution and all of a sudden he hears 'six, six, six, six, six!'. Wondering what on earth is going on he walks over to the fence, spots a hole and peeps through it. He feels a prod in his eye and as he moves away he hears them chanting 'seven, seven, seven, seven!' (curtisy(sp?) of my mum)

 

[disneyoverload]

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?- A Roman Catholic

 

[chandlerwolf]

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

 

[♥DizzyDizney♥]

A man went to the doctors. After the doctor examined him, he told the man he had some bad news, he had cancer and alzheimers. The man replied, " Well, at least I don't have cancer"

 

[Lilsurfer_Chick]

How did the blond die when getting a drink of water?

The toilet seat fell on her.

 

[theodorechipmunkluvr]

there were two flies on the ceiling.
one of the flies said to the other
"hey your man is open"

haha

Ok mine:

Why did the Blonde climb over the glass wall?

To see what was on the other side!!!

 

[theodorechipmunkluvr]

I guess it's more for Office fans, that is Michael Scott's famous line.

A frickin men!!!!

 

[disneychick2721]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

 

[plastiek]

Nice Jokes, I enjoy them all!