John & Beths' VR PJ, SoG, undated!augh!

[acomasdiaz]

I am sorry to hear that he might have been extended by 6 weeks. I hope the time passes by as quickly as possible for you.

 

[BecBennett]

I had to go back and look through the wording again to find the spelling mistake, it's not that noticeable, but there will probably be a few people who will notice it.

 

[trudy88]

If you're planning on holding hands with hubby, then a wrist corsage would be beautiful!
Sorry about the 6 weeks; I hope it doesn't interfere too much with your plans.

 

[padisneyfour]

The wrist corsage is very pretty....

 

[hollybearsmom]

Yeah for the corsage!

The only damper of extending his time away is that I hoped to squeeze in a trip that first week back with just he and I, to do my consulting appt. and just to have fun. I will adapt. I will find a way to go!!!!

Here's an idea of what I want the gazebo to look like...

And here's a brides' photo of how she did one similar to the one at Shades of Green...

 

[hollybearsmom]

How many changes can one trip go through?

In-laws want to take the trip in November.
Why oh why do I plan?

 

[princess22]

Oh no! Have you started booking stuff? Do they realize you are planning a vow renewal? There are always bumps in planning stuff... hope you get it all sorted out. Is your hubby back yet?

 

[hollybearsmom]

We had booked and starting paying at SoG already.
They have the black card but said they didn't really read it...so they deny knowledge of anniversary, pooh.

Hubby is home for two weeks r&r then off to finish his year. sigh

 

[NitroStitch]

How frustrating to be trying to plan and have things keep getting rescheduled! We did a planning/scouting trip to SoG in July, so I'll attempt to link a few pictures we took. You can also check out the whole gallery on my Smugmug account for more photos of SoG and their gazebo and lobby areas at that time.

This was the way the Gazebo was set up for that afternoon's wedding:

Another angle, showing the chairs they'd set up for the afteroon wedding:

Here's a link to the whole gallery - the first seven pages or so are of Shades of Green before:
http://nitrostitch.smugmug.com/Paul-and-I/Shades-of-Green-and-Disney/9069003_2y9cs/1/603848688_vg6oi

Good luck with your planning!

 

[hollybearsmom]

Ohmygosh, thank you!!!

Let's see. Where are we...oh yes, the when is up in the air, as is the who...

I really want to keep this scheduled for the anniversary weekend. But, one bil and his family can't come then. And his parents only want to take one trip next year when everyone can go at the same time. So do we do this without his family?

I am seriously considering it. Yes I am. It is our anniversary. We have invited friends and family to attend. Do we NEED family there to hold this ceremony for our celebration? I think not. We would still go out to dinner to celebrate if they couldn't come, so why can't we have our vow renewal without them?

I know its not the same without your family there....what do you think?

 

[hollybearsmom]

So this is a little late in the PJ but here’s our story..
Part I
College is expensive, and although I was working as an RA to offset housing and meals, I still needed another job, actually two. I was a Grad Asst. for my research statistics professor, and the other job I found was in this Dance class. So one night a week, I taught. I made friends with a girl in the class, Laura, and tried not to notice the instructor’s two sons acting up since I was worried about my job and paycheck and grade…

John is at same college, and a PE major. Johns' roommate (my friend in class, Laura) ((don’t get the wrong idea it’s a multi-level apt bldg)) talks him into the “easy A”, and since it’s in Johns' major, he jumped on it. So 2nd or 3rd class John joins, and knows the instructors oldest son from other PE classes. Instant chaos in my class. I can’t tell them to do anything, I could lose my job. So I just grin and bear it.

Mid-way through the class we have a performance. I have no car. Laura does. I ask her to pick me up, no problem. She and John discuss it and decide they don’t need to take two cars, so they carpool, and John drives. She calls, I run downstairs, she jumps in the back, John and I are sharing 4’ of air space. We have to talk. We make nice conversation; complain about the performance, football team, and talk about nothing that I can recall. We perform, pack up, they drop me off.

TRUTH: First impressions aren’t always right! It's not always love att first sight. Laura later asked us about each other, Johns' opinion of me “stuck up”, my opinion of John “obnoxious”. I am not stuck up, I’m really shy. So when I wasn’t teaching, I wasn’t talking, or cutting up, or anything. I was usually reading for some other class. John isn’t really obnoxious, he is loud, and very social, and loves to have fun.

I sometimes hang out with Laura at her apt, and one night I see John going out in his dress uniform. Wow. Yeah, the uniform got me. (Disregard earlier comment about love at first sight!) We chat briefly, John is going to some banquet and dance for the Air Force ROTC. I’m giddy, and John says my exact words were, “well, if your date gets hit by a bus, call me.” He leaves, I think nothing about it, head to my dorm, and my phone rings.
‘Hello?” ‘Hi. It’s me.” “It’s who?” “Me, John.” “John who?” Yeah, I was out of it. “You know you’ll never believe it, but my date got hit by a bus. Still want to go out?” “Sure.” “Be downstairs in ten minutes.” “Sure.” I run like a maniac up to my RA friends’ room, drag her out the door and to the lobby. ‘I’m not going out with him alone, I don’t know him that well, we might not have anything to talk about, you are coming too.’ Ten minutes later John pulls up, with a friend in the car. He didn’t know me that well, and if it wasn’t going well, he needed an out and someone else to talk too. That must have been the very first time we thought alike.

We all went to grab something to eat at a Wing place. Talked a little bit. And they took us back to the dorm. Next week when I went to hang out with Laura between classes, I went and talked to John a little. And the next day, and the next, and we finally starting Officially Dating, in April that semester.

Isn’t that sweet?
More to follow...

 

[hollybearsmom]

Part II
So I have to leave and go back to working in the real world. College is on hold. I live about two hours away. I live in the same town as my grandmother. We make a long-distance relationship work. TRUTH: Trust. It was not easy, and not always fun, but we made it. John is in his last year, and we know he will be leaving to serve somewhere after graduation and his commissioning. We have talked long hours about being settled down, and growing old together, we have casually looked in a couple of jewelry stores. On the side, I start buying the bride magazines. My mom and I start talking in general terms about weddings and dresses. There is no ring purchased. No mention of a ring purchase.

I’m getting antsy. John talks about a wedding in the summer. I won’t talk to him about it. I’m making plans with my mom and her best friend, buying ribbons, picking out pictures of flowers, and cakes, and thinking about bridesmaids. But I won’t talk to him about it……I haven’t been invited yet. I get really nasty about it sometimes, and we get really close to not talking to each other, but he is working behind my back.

He talks to my workplace, and gets a day off approved without my knowledge. He talks to my co-workers. He has gone to my house and talked to my parents. He hides flowers in my grandmother’s closet.

My mom comes to visit my grandmother. It’s election day in November. He tells me we are going to a dinner for a friend’s dad who is in politics, I buy it. I borrow a cocktail dress, get the hair done, and wait for him to pick me up.

 

[hollybearsmom]

Part III
TRUTH: I hate being late. TRUTH: Don’t make me wait. Get here on time. It is past the time he would need to leave college to get here on time. I’m wondering and worrying. Close to an hour later, he calls, he had to stay later than he thought for class and then they had mandatory PT, so he is leaving now.

Okay, I think, he drives fast, we had a cushion of time, we can be a little late. Talk to my mom, she says not to worry, it’s okay. I waste time around the house. Time comes when he should be at my house. He calls, he says there’s traffic, he’s just now getting off the interstate, should be here in half an hour. It’s getting later. I don’t like attention, we are going to be very late for the dinner. I fiddle. I call my mom back. She tells me not to worry, it’s okay, we aren’t going to be that late, no one will notice.

He calls again. Outside town, stopped at gas station, be there in 15 minutes. I pace. I’m steaming, no way we are walking into dinner almost an hour late. He should have been here, my poofy hairdo is falling. I’m frustrated. I start to get steamed. I’m watching out the window at every sound. I call my mom, I’m yelling about him, she tells me not to worry, it’s okay. We are probably seated in the back since we are young, if we miss the dinner, that’s okay too, we will still have fun.

I’m super anxious and waiting at the door, keys in hand, to run out when he pulls up. I get another phone call. Sorry, had to grab a coke, in town, be there in five minutes. I’m u-p-s-e-t. I’m ready to tear off the dress and refuse to go. I call my mom. I’m done I tell her. I’m not going, and I’m not talking to him again. He knows I hate to be late and kept waiting. He knows not to tell me ten minutes and not mean it. He doesn’t care about me, I’m in tears. She tells me to calm down and not to worry, it’s ok.

Here comes his car. I’m sitting on my couch pouting, foot bouncing a mile a minute, I’m not getting up, I’m not going, I am ticked off. But I leave the door open so he can see through the storm door that I am there and mad. He comes in the door and tells me it is too late to go. I am livid! He tells me not to change yet, we will still go out, I stomp into the bedroom and slam the door. He goes to his car. I hear him in the living room, but I don’t go out. I pout. I press my ear to the door to listen for what he is doing. I flop on the bed and repeat all the above. He knocks on the door. Please, please.

Whatever. Somehow he convinces me to come out, he has candles everywhere. There are roses, the biggest roses I have ever seen, ((they were a special hothouse variety that had blooms as big as tea cups)), music, and he gets down on his knee. And pulls out a ring.

There are tears, screams, and laughter. We go to my grandmothers to tell her and my mom and show off the ring. They have already seen it. They knew all about it. There are more flowers there. We sit and talk awhile, call the other family members, and finally get dinner near midnight.

I find out that I have the next day off from work. I am still a little mad, but my mom was right, it’s ok! And those phone call locations, all fake, he was at my grandmas the whole time, getting ready, fluffing flowers, etc.

 

[hollybearsmom]

The date. How do you make all the people happy even some of the time???

If you are just jumping in - dh family decided to do a family trip next year to Disney. So thats the grands, the 3 brothers and their wives, and the five grandchildren. Three cities, two states, different school systems, and they don't have concurrent vacations anytime during the school year. So that means going during the summer (HOT, crowded, HOT, expensive, and did we mention HOT)
-or- going the week between Christmas and New Years. (decorations, cool weather, some crowds but we found it managable) OMG! You would have thought we asked for a loan. It was not a pretty discussion.

So summer it would be. Well, dh is starting a new job on Monday, (he got extended for training, but at a different base, so like a new job) so his schedule is fairly unknown for vacation time...so we will have to wait for anything definate from us until the end of next month at least...but we had this VR trip planned since our drive home last year. And we made STD cards to give out, and I ordered those brochures, and made a deposit...

But the kids don't get out of school at the same time at the end of the year, so one brother says they won't make it then. No problem, I thought, who really comes to a VR anyway? Your current friends who didn't know you when you got married the first time, and family if they can. In my opinion, anyhoo. AND they (the family members) seem to have no knowledge of this plan even though we have been talking and planning since January 1st! The STD card was lost?!? Really?
In a moment of a fit over this earlier this week, I told my dad it was off. There was no trip.

But we have invited like sixteen couples/families we are close enough with to spend a weeks vacation together, for the VR as scheduled and reserved for June 11-13th weekend at SoG, then POP for 13-19. And we may have to change it all. Or scrap it. But I pretty much decided today after a major tear-filled breakdown that WE WILL KEEP THE VR AS SCHEDULED because it is what WE WANT TO DO, WHEN WE WANT TO DO IT, AND IT IS OUR ANNIVERSARY dang it.

Then, IF, dh can get the time off, we will keep our vacation for that next week with our friends, and IF, his family chooses that week, FANTASTIC , and if they pick another week. Well, we will see how much pixie dust is left in our bank for that trip - maybe we will make our trip shorter by a few days even.

I was happy with that compromise with dh, but can we get the family to agree??? I really don't know.

 

[NitroStitch]

The date. How do you make all the people happy even some of the time???

But we have invited like sixteen couples/families we are close enough with to spend a weeks vacation together, for the VR as scheduled and reserved for June 11-13th weekend at SoG, then POP for 13-19. And we may have to change it all. Or scrap it. But I pretty much decided today after a major tear-filled breakdown that WE WILL KEEP THE VR AS SCHEDULED because it is what WE WANT TO DO, WHEN WE WANT TO DO IT, AND IT IS OUR ANNIVERSARY dang it.

Then, IF, dh can get the time off, we will keep our vacation for that next week with our friends, and IF, his family chooses that week, FANTASTIC , and if they pick another week. Well, we will see how much pixie dust is left in our bank for that trip - maybe we will make our trip shorter by a few days even.

I was happy with that compromise with dh, but can we get the family to agree??? I really don't know.

Wedding plans (and VR plans, of course) are so frustrating, especially when you're trying to coordinate so many people and whatever they want too. I guess it's like the line from the song Garden Party..."you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself."

This is one of the reasons we're doing a teensy, tiny wedding. With it being just us and my best friend as photographer, we just have to make ourselves happy. The teensy wedding has its drawbacks too, but lack of conflict is a definite perk.

Good luck coordinating as many schedules as you can, while still doing what you want on the time frame that makes you happy!

 

[hollybearsmom]

I need to hear about this tiny wedding....
just got off the phone like thirty seconds ago, and its my MOH who says, "well, I'm not sure we can make it now."

Throw my hands up. What am I going to do????

 

[padisneyfour]

sending you lots of good luck with everything!

 

[hollybearsmom]

Thank you for the pixie dust!!!!!!

I think planning is the most fun and I get a little too attached once I make a choice and then it isn't popular.

So my MOH and her family are going to Disney, and want to go when we go, but they are not sold on the summertime if there is a choice.
Can you have a VR not near the time of year you were married, does it matter? I'm thinking that the best way to make everyone happy is to move our "date".

John and I know for sure that we are not going to have a ceremony here and then just go to Disney as a 2nd honeymoon. We want our kids involved and to have the trip experience with us. We are just that kind of family.

So, if we go in the fall, we could have a Pirate and Princess theme.
Or we could go in December and have the winter fantasy.
Or we can go in August and have the melted ice cream theme.

Please, weigh in on this,

IS IT OKAY TO HAVE YOUR VR MONTHS AFTER YOUR ACTUAL ANNIVERSARY??

 

[NitroStitch]

I need to hear about this tiny wedding....
just got off the phone like thirty seconds ago, and its my MOH who says, "well, I'm not sure we can make it now."

Throw my hands up. What am I going to do????

Oh no... You definitely need more pixie dust to come your way!

Our tiny wedding will just be my fiance and I, with my best friend in the role of our photographer. She takes gorgeous photos, and I think she partly volunteered to be behind the camera to avoid being in front of one - and especially to avoid the dreaded MOH dress. The only other person there will be the officiant.

When we started planning, we wanted immediate family and closest friends, but none of his friends could make it (between deployments, current assignments not allowing vacation time, and budgets), none of his family could come, and my father wasn't going to be able to travel. My mother and stepfather would be like having Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet balcony at the wedding, since they are anti-love and anti-marriage and would badmouth the whole thing (they've done it before).

Since we set a date and decided to do the elopement-style ceremony, both of our families have indicated that NOW, they might be able to come. With our budget shrinking to the size of the wedding we ARE planning already, and now that we're enjoying the lack of controlling and grousing family members, we're sticking to just the two of us and my photog friend. I wish we could share the day with additional people who would be happy for us and would make the day even more magical, but it's not in the cards for us. They'll have to wish us well from a distance. And that's okay.

It's definitely not the answer for everybody, but for us, it's the best solution. Good luck figuring out who to try to schedule around and coordinate with and who to risk offending, however unavoidable and unintentional. Ultimately, it's YOUR day, and it's about the two of you, and I hope that your family and friends will remember that, at least most of the time.

 

[padisneyfour]

for my two cents, you could do your VR when it works for you..... ours is not on our actual anniversary date (though we had hoped it would be but the WP is unavailable then) so we moved our VR date a week but other VR brides have had it when it worked for them.....our VR is around the time we usually go to wdw.....good luck