"JACK & JILL SHOWER"

[sajetto]

I've heard of showers for destination wedding couples where you either clip money to a "money tree" or give gifts, but NOT both. That is terribly tacking to have to pay "admission" to a party. If someone wants to give something that's their choice. If I recieved this sort of invitation I wouldn't attend. Really, I even think money trees are tacky. A card party, okay. A honeymoon registry, okay. "Admission" to a shower, not cool.

 

[dngrmys]

I am getting married in two months and the bottom line is...there is always someone who is going to think something is tacky. Don't sweat the small stuff, and believe me, this is small stuff.

If you can't afford to go or do not think it's worth it, that that is OK. I would recommend sending the couple a nice card to at least acknowledge that you were thinking of them.

If you were to go then I would show up with a gift...just in case.

Good luck!

 

[Cthia]

My family has been invited to a "surprise" Jack & Jill shower. The cost is $25.00pp and there will be dinner/dancing all night.

MY QUESTION IS: DO WE BRING A GIFT??? We have paid $100.00 (4) to attend. I asked another person and that person said NO GIFTS...but they also were not sure either.....??

I do not want to go w/o a gift and look like a jerk OR for that matter WITH a gift and look like a jerk...UGH....

Does anyone know if when you go to something like this and have paid for the meal and entertainment you do NOT bring the couple a gift???

A CARD???

UGH!!!!

LOL This sounds something like my BIL is having. Someone called us and asked us for our email address to send the invitation. We haven't gotten it yet but I doubt we will be attending since it is over an hour and half ride from our house.

 

[Micca]

Whatever you do don't fall for that "Fetch A Pail Of Water" game. EVERYONE gets hurt.

 

[poohluvrs]

Whatever you do don't fall for that "Fetch A Pail Of Water" game. EVERYONE gets hurt.

I agree, charging to attend a shower is beyond tacky

My husband would sooner attend a princess party in drag than partake in a Jack & Jill - showers are girl time!

And who the heck gets married on memorial day weekend, do these people have any friends

Good luck

 

[DVC Sadie]

This goes beyond the realm of comprehension for me. I have never, ever heard of charging for a shower, having a cash bar at said party, and last but not least be required to bring a gift (although of course a gift would be given)

Another poster said that Jack and Jill parties were originated down here in the south but I swear I was raised in New Orleans and currently reside in Pass Christian and I've never heard of these types of parties.

Unless we were invited by a family member we would graciously decline the invitation but would RSVP as soon as I could.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I thought this thread was about bathrooms!!!!!!

 

[WDWAurora]

Not southern for sure. Never heard of this and was horrified when I learned about the dollar dance-then later I found out DH's big sister had one!! They're from MO, but live in NC now...I bet the groom's family thought they were SO tacky!!

But it's perfectly normal other places...Not my thing.

 

[poohluvrs]

But it's perfectly normal other places...Not my thing.

Not normal here in MA......Cant imagine anywhere in New England where it is normal....I can just envision all the Manhattan-ites paying to attend a Jack & Jill

OP- you are a good friend to attend! Its still uber tacky.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

A fee for a shower???

Perhaps they will be giving some of the cash to a couple. But charging for a hosted surprise party.


I thought J&J just meant co-ed and not cover charge.

 

[momrek06]

OP here: The more I read this THREAD the more I would just like to stay HOME!!! UGH!!!

And I am into it for $100.00 ALREADY....the groom's dad is a builder and he just finished building our new home so DH and builder became very close and the next thing you know WE are getting invites to J&J and Wedding. I do NOT even know the bride at all. Maybe one time I saw her and said hello!!!

UGH!!!! You know with my whole family being invited I was kinda sort of wondering WHY US...do they not know allot of people....but hey, we are def going and I will get the Home Depot g.c. as I "think" I should have a gift and I will POST everyone after the weekend (Saturday night) to let you know all the details...HEY, will the BAR be cash do you THINK??? UGH...

 

[poohluvrs]

OP here: The more I read this THREAD the more I would just like to stay HOME!!! UGH!!!

And I am into it for $100.00 ALREADY....the groom's dad is a builder and he just finished building our new home so DH and builder became very close and the next thing you know WE are getting invites to J&J and Wedding. I do NOT even know the bride at all. Maybe one time I saw her and said hello!!!

UGH!!!! You know with my whole family being invited I was kinda sort of wondering WHY US...do they not know allot of people....but hey, we are def going and I will get the Home Depot g.c. as I "think" I should have a gift and I will POST everyone after the weekend (Saturday night) to let you know all the details...HEY, will the BAR be cash do you THINK??? UGH...

Hi, I didnt realize you're in MA too! I would just enjoy it now that you're in it for the $100 - its not like you can ask for a refund! If you show up & its cash bar though, take your Home Depot card & run like the wind!

PS - If the father of groom is a builder why the heck do they need HD cards? Cant he get a discount on supplies through his Dad from commercial suppliers - these people sound like looney extortionists! Hope you got a deal on your home improvements, & hope you meet the bride on Sat!

 

[momrek06]

PS - If the father of groom is a builder why the heck do they need HD cards? Cant he get a discount on supplies through his Dad from commercial suppliers - on

Yes, well I guess he has totally TAPPED out his dad with all the building supplies. I guess they want the g.c. for purchases like maybe to put towards carpeting or paint for the rooms or facets for the sinks...???? Your guess is as good as mine. His dad does get a "good" builders discount already at H.D. so if he has the g.c. and everyone going gives them one from there, might add up to a nice amount for the couple....

 

[Nancyg56]

A Jack and Jill was supposed to take the place of a shower and a stagg. Some people charged for it, and no gift was required. We had one for my DS and DDIL, invited close family, chose a nice meal with beverages offered along with a wine fountain. No one was charged. I paid the bar bill, which was minimal.

I think that you do what you want. Today, I see lavish showers, huge weddings, stags, bachlorette parties, I just go to what I want, and don't worry about the rest.

 

[ebaynut31]

I would not bring a gift. I might bring something for the raffle table if they have one. Like a bottle of wine or something like that.

I have never been to a combination Jack and Jill shower. I have always been to them as separate occasions.

I like the idea of all in one. Cash is the best gift of all !!!!!

The only way I would bring a gift is if in the invitation or on the ticket it said where they were registered.

Just my opinion and I have lived in Mass for 36 years.

 

[tmasingo]

Maybe it's a regional thing???

ETA ~ just noticed you are from MA too...I've never heard of such a thing

Not regional....MA has them all the time. I often see them advertised in local newspapers and have known many people who have had them.

This is so weird to read your responses, because I've been to Jack & Jill's before and paid to go. $20 ticket or something like that (like buying a ticket to a bachelor party). Gifts were not expected. It was a blast, and a great way to celebrate the bride & groom together with family & friends. The Jack & Jill was in place of a bridal shower/bachelor/bachelorette party. I'd rather go to a Jack & Jill than a bridal shower!! They're tons of fun!

This is exactly what I was thinking. I've never heard a Jack N Jill be referred to as a shower. It's a Jack N Jill. Period. Any that I've ever been to, the cost for the ticket is what is the gift. That all goes to the couple at the end of the night. The host(s) pays the cost of the event. Sometimes people bring cards, but not gifts. It's just a party to get together and celebrate the couple's upcoming wedding.

 

[cepmom]

Not regional....MA has them all the time. I often see them advertised in local newspapers and have known many people who have had them.

I have been to Jack and Jill baby/bridal showers and all that meant was that men were invited too....the shower was the same otherwise ~ food and present opening only with men as well as women. I have also been to a Jack and Jill type bachelor/bachelorette party...a night out with the bride and groom and their friends together but never one like the OP described.

I guess it just may not be in my area of MA (South Shore) or maybe just not my group of friends/aquaintences I have never heard of such a thing.

 

[PaulaSue]

The idea just sounds tacky and I wouldn't go. Of course I didn't do dollar dance or a cash bar.

 

[Cthia]

I attended a Jack and Jill party over 10 years ago for my ex-boyfriend's boss and his fiance. I don't remember us bringing a gift. It was just a party for everyone to congratulate the soon to be married couple. The bride also had a bridal shower, that is where I gave her gift. At their wedding they did the dollar dance. Never saw that done before then.

Memorial Day weekend must be a poplular weekend to get married here in Mass. My BIL is getting married that weekend and a guy that I work with is in a wedding that same weekend.