"Jack & Jill" invitation - apparently a wedding fundraiser! Really?!

[Ember]

Yeah, I've already declined the invite.

I'm sorry, but it is not my job to pay for someone's wedding. If you can't afford the wedding you want, then save up longer. If you want to get married sooner and can't afford big wedding, then have a smaller one. For goodness sake, serve water if that's all you can afford, but serve it graciously!

A marriage is about publicly joining your life to another. It is not about a party, being the center of attention, or getting gifts. Why anyone would think is was acceptable to have a charity fundraiser to pay for a wedding is completely beyond me. Pay for your own darn wedding, and if the money and gifts are THAT important, then the couple should save the expense of a wedding and by themselves presents!!

 

[Stacerita]

Tacky

 

[JessicaR]

First time I am hearing of an event planned like this. It is really tacky. I can't figure out how people think this is a good idea and are not embarrassed to present it to their friends and family. Are others doing similar or the same that it has become acceptable? Maybe I'm married too long and out of the loop but this sounds horrible.

Does anyone think this is a good idea? What the heck happened to being responsible for yourself if you want something. When did society change so drastically?

OP - anyone else say they aren't going that you know of? I wonder if invited people are talking about it thinking its a tacky idea too. I almost feel embarrassed for them.

 

[mrs_hower726]

What is wrong with people??? C'mon, this is absolutely absurd and crazy. Reminds me of a thread I posted to earlier about a mother who was suprised when an invitation for a birthday party for her DD to attend had the note to bring money to get into the pool.

If you can't afford to have a wedding, or a birthday party, then DON'T! But don't think you are entitled to have it all and think it's ok to charge your guests. It's TACKY!!!

 

[Goofyzgurl]

Crazy...I've never even heard of having someone pay for your wedding....I guess it's the same lines as teh other thread where they have a bday party for their kid and charge their friends money to come.

 

[diznygirl]

I don't have a problem with it.

According to the OP, the event in question is neither the wedding nor the shower. It is merely something that they are doing to raise money for the wedding. As such, it's no more tacky than having a yard sale to come up with the money.

Actually, it's called having a JOB to come up with the money!

Sorry folks, I'm pretty old fashion. A wedding is a celebration of 2 couples who decide to spend their lives together. It is not my job to fund your celebration. I don't fund your vacations, if you want a big blow out bonaza then you should have the means to pay for it.

If you think about it, men buy tickets to stags all the time and when they get there, they usually buys drinks and raffle tickets. The money that is raised is normally handed to the groom. How is that any different than a Jack & Jill?

It's different because a "Stag" is just an excuse for all the grooms' friends to party with a stripper.

 

[mkymouse1928]

And here I was mortified because my mom wanted to have an "around the clock" shower for my future sister in law and mention where she is registered in the invites (we didn't do either one, thankfully). This, though, really takes the cake.

 

[NAB]

We have them all the time here too.

Like others said it a shower/stag put together. It is not to help pay for the wedding. people that put it on are usually your wedding party or friends.

The bride and groom can use the money any way they want. Gift that you would usually get at a shower etc. Most times the bride and groom do not even know about it. You try to surprise them.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

This is even more tacky than a dollar dance.

When I got married over 19 years ago , all good hunkey weddings had a money dance. I know they're not so common anymore, but back then they were a part of every wedding I attended, including my own.

 

[DebbieB]

It's a regional thing. I live in PA and never heard of one here but I had a business associate in CT who talked about them all the time. She was in the age group where all her friends were getting married. It was a normal part of the wedding preparations and she and her husband looked forward to it as a night out with their friends to celebrate. She was in the "country club crowd", I don't know if it was more of an upper class thing.

 

[JerseyMamaBear]

Just when I think I've heard it all!! I would be busy that day and for the shower and wedding.Unbelievable.

It is really too bad that you are busy and cannot attend, isn't it? ,

Wow! Mrs. Manners and Dear Abby would be rolling in their graves if they knew just how tastless and tacky celebrations have become! What are people thinking anymore?

 

[tzolkin]

I'd heard of a "Jack & Jill" before but thought the term just referred to a bridal-style shower for both men and women.

So did I.

Wow, it truly must be a regional thing. These types of parties are very common in my area. Instead of a separate bridal shower and stag party, a lot of couples opt to do a "Jack & Jill".

If you think about it, men buy tickets to stags all the time and when they get there, they usually buys drinks and raffle tickets. The money that is raised is normally handed to the groom. How is that any different than a Jack & Jill?

I've never heard of a Stag Party.

I've heard of a bachelor party, but I thought the guys just go out (pay their own way and cover any drinks/etc for the groom). I didn't know there was any ticket buying or raising money and giving it to the groom.

 

[daisyyy]

seriously? If they cannot afford to have a big wedding.. then don't.... Don't expect your guests to pay for your wedding.. IMO, they should just get married.. send out something that says... Hey.. we got married... ( in other words... send a gift)... they would be better off, and not insult anyone... I wouldn't go... I'd be busy that day if I were you.