Too funny!! I actually haven't heard back from Laura yet, and I had emailed Maxine on something else that she responded to, so I emailed her my original long email again and got a response. I get so excited to see her last name pop up in my inbox, I'm not sure if that's too normal!
I'm so glad I'm not the only person who does that! We're only a few days away from being able to make rehearsal dinner reservations! 
What to do?? 
That's a good point, I definitely don't want to mess with anyone's vacation plans. We do have a lot of people that are telling me theyre staying through until Monday. I'm thinking maybe very informal like stop by and get something on your way to the park type deal for a few hours only. I'm still up in the air about it really! We are moving over to the Poly on Sunday for our free night before we head off to Aulani on Monday, so I'm hoping to be able to rent a poolside cabana there for DF and I and just relax! One of my BM's birthdays is on 5/6, so we told her and her husband (who is one of DF's BM) we'd go to dinner with them for her birthday. I think we're going to organize going into a park with the group on Friday morning before the rehearsal, assuming most of the group will be there Friday. I guess we'll see- it's so hard trying to guess and figure it all out!!
Our e-pics got postponed! I am slightly bummed, but our photog is a husb & wife team, I correspond with the wife who is so nice, she's been sick and her Grandmother passed away right before we went down to FL so she had to go home to WV, etc etc. I understand they are busy and they want to make an inspiration board for us to theme our e-shoot and come up with some props etc to add to it that tie into 'us' so I'm actually looking forward to see what she says! I love reading her blog, her writing is just amazing! I can't wait to actually read about us on there, it will likely be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about us (hopefully that is... hahha)
We also can't go to the orchard now-- ugh!
My family and some cousins have booked their rooms for the wedding (through DVC) and we've got 27 nights so far! So exciting! Poly here we come!
I emailed Maxine today with all the res #s and she added them to our block- yippee!!
Maxine did also tell me she can get us the buttons, she told me she gets them from the front desk at the Grand, but nonetheless to let her know which ones we'd like and how many and she'll get them- yay!
I told her for the DP right now we're going to ask everyone to meet us at the BC, since right now everyone who has booked a room is staying at the BC, then we will all walk to the Epcot entrance to be brought in. I figured it'll save money on transportation and everything else is in this area so it should be easy for everyone to find. Thoughts??
I also asked if there was transportation for us from rehearsal at BC to the RD at Ohana and back. We can get a mini motor coach, but it only holds 25, or we could get 4 8-passenger vans. I haven't seen these vans but the mini motor coach sounds so much nicer. My only issue is right now we have 26 adults and 3 kids under 3. I wonder if they will say the kids can't ride on laps and will count towards the 25, or if we could squeeze one more person or how strict they are. Or who I could talk to in my fam and get them to drive separate and not ride on the bus (thinking my mom... hmm)
I don't remember if I shared but I also asked if I could place signs around (at the beach, at SBP, at the reception) and she said yes, to all! I also asked if we could hang strings between a few columns at SBP and attach pictures with clothespins or some sort of pins. I saw this on Pinterest and thought it was so fun! My plan is to print out at least one picture of each confirmed guest we have and put it there for them to find! I really like making things very personal and adding small touches, she said we can check with floral but most likely we could do it -(This was one of my 25 things on my email to Laura)
so now also waiting to hear back from Laura on the 25 things I asked her!
Also I found the thread on here for DVC point rentals and forwarded to some of my BMs, if they get a two bedroom and split it by 4 couples, they can def get a steal! I don't know anything about renting points but it seems like a win-win. Anyone rented and had a good experience? Hopefully nothing too terrible!?
It's almost Friday-- yay!!!
Morning ladies!
I have some family drama I'd like some opinions on!
DF's family is large, (compared to mine anyway) so they probably take up about 1/2 of our guest list. All of them live near us, and we celebrate everything as one large group, we have at least one family party a month, and the ALL come.. to every.single.one. So to say I know these people and feel comfortable with them after 7 years is an understatement! DF didn't go away to school, he didn't live on campus either, so he has his core group of friends from HS and that's about it, which to me is great, shows he's loyal, really cares about them, and they all really are great. When we first started dating, I really wished my family were close like that, I have cousins, aunts and uncles, etc, but my parents lost touch with most of them, I haven't hung out with any of them since I was little and the connection is just basically gone.
So my side for our guest list consists of my parents, my two siblings and their husband and gf, one of my cousins that lives in FL, and my uncle that lives in CA, both the cousin and uncle are on my mom's side. We don't talk to my dad's side since my grandparents passed and that just is what it is. I did go away to school and I'm pretty social, so I have about 40 friends that I'm inviting, DF has the family and I have the friends. It actually balances in my mind.
My mom recently had an old friend pass away and since then she's been trying to re-connect with her side of the family. In my view, I think she is trying to use my wedding as some sort of family reunion. She wants to invite her sister (that I have only met twice in my life and I'm 28), and a few other cousins I also have only met a few times. I am very adament in telling her no, they are not being invited. We are having a destination wedding for a reason, we both want it to be small and intimate. I really don't want people I don't know at the wedding and DF agrees. My mom keeps sending me guilt emails trying to make me give in and say they can be invited, telling me it's sad I'm not considering other people's feelings, that we're inviting all of DF's family and none of mine, etc. At this point DF's family is my big family and I don't consider people I don't even know my family. I can't say that to her of course!
My mom also wanted to invite them to the engagement party and I told her no, since they were not being invited to the wedding. She went behind my back and invited them herself anyway, and then none of them showed up.
Am I being totally unreasonable?? Part of me says just give in, she is paying, who cares. But a bigger part of me says I don't want people I don't know coming to my wedding, it will make me feel awkward and uncomfortable and I don't want my wedding to be some family reunion where we don't see or talk to them again for another 20 years. Ugh!!
Just try and let her see your point of view.
me too! So glad I saw your tip on 190 days, yippee!!
Fingers crossed we both get in where we want!
Yay! Can't believe you have so many nights already. I think having everyone meet you at BC is a great idea. I don't see any need for transportation. We aren't using it either. Most of our guests we figure will be in the park that day and for the few that won't be will be met at the gate by a CM. It seems crazy to have to pay all that money for buses. I think your guests will be fine with it!
Glad to hear your planner is giving you the ok on everything you want to use for the ceremony/cocktail hour!!! BTW I bet your planner will be fine with the kids sitting on laps if you wanted to do the mini motor coach. It doesn't seem any different than if you were to do that on the magical express or park transportation buses.
I don't think you are being unreasonable at all but weddings are so tough. There is always that guilt that you have to invite certain people which I don't understand. My side is mostly family as we have a big family most of which is close to me since we all live locally. I too didn't live away at school so have a small group of close friends invited. Df on the other hand has a smaller family and most of his relatives live in Michigan and aren't coming so he has mainly friends. Anyway we have gone back and fourth on what was the right thing to do when inviting people. For me part of why I wanted a destination wedding was because I wanted it smaller than normal and I new this would help. We aren't close to my dad's family but ended up making a compromise. We invited his siblings and my grandparents on his side but not my cousins. There are just too many of them and I don't see them much and I'm not close to any of them. Maybe there is some kind of compromise you can make with your mom. She is paying but it is also your day and you want to be around the people who mean something to you! Just because Df has a lot of family doesn't mean you should, there is a difference, you see his family a LOT! Hopefully you two can work something out
I'm keeping my fingers crossed, too! Let me know when you get your reservations!
As for the family situation, I think you should invite exactly who YOU want to invite because it is YOUR day. We are paying for our wedding ourselves, so that might make it a little easier, but we made sure we invited exactly who WE wanted to invite. I can see where your situation might be a little harder to deal with. If you do end up choosing to invite them, I wouldn't worry about it too much because it sounds like they probably wouldn't come anyway.
So my stress levels have really been rising, between numerous things, my mom and this whole guilt trip being one of them!
DF's family had one of their big parties on Saturday night, and I sat and talked with one of his cousins. She told me my mom apparently accused her of 'snooping' through my brother's house at the engagement party (where the party was) when she was trying to find my brother to thank him for having the party, etc. At this point I'm really embarassed, try to brush it off and say I'm sorry, that she really has a mind of her own these days and she's one of my biggest stressors, etc.
A big part of me right now is about to tell her she can invite them. I'm thinking of this because A. they may not even come, B. she will stop sending me the guilt emails and my stress level will lower, C. if they do come, they will occupy her and she'll have less opportunities or time to talk to and say crazy things to DF's family. I'm really thinking it might be a good idea at this point.
I also added a few people to the list over the weekend, (a few friends that were on the B list), after his cousin also told me they may not come because even if they leave the kids home, whoever watches them won't be able to get them to their baseball games. (The kids are 6 and 8). really?? haha I actually really like them, and I know they are very involved with their kids and sports, and maybe there's another reason they can't come and they don't want to say it, but it just got under my skin a little bit and I decided to invite my friends that are excited to come and have a good time!
Who knew this would be so stressful! I was really trying to be a breezy, stress free bride too and it is not working out!!! hahaha
This this this!
I am sure that if you 'google' minibus transport in the WDW area, you will get loads of options.
So my stress levels have really been rising, between numerous things, my mom and this whole guilt trip being one of them!
DF's family had one of their big parties on Saturday night, and I sat and talked with one of his cousins. She told me my mom apparently accused her of 'snooping' through my brother's house at the engagement party (where the party was) when she was trying to find my brother to thank him for having the party, etc. At this point I'm really embarassed, try to brush it off and say I'm sorry, that she really has a mind of her own these days and she's one of my biggest stressors, etc.
A big part of me right now is about to tell her she can invite them. I'm thinking of this because A. they may not even come, B. she will stop sending me the guilt emails and my stress level will lower, C. if they do come, they will occupy her and she'll have less opportunities or time to talk to and say crazy things to DF's family. I'm really thinking it might be a good idea at this point.
I also added a few people to the list over the weekend, (a few friends that were on the B list), after his cousin also told me they may not come because even if they leave the kids home, whoever watches them won't be able to get them to their baseball games. (The kids are 6 and 8). really?? haha I actually really like them, and I know they are very involved with their kids and sports, and maybe there's another reason they can't come and they don't want to say it, but it just got under my skin a little bit and I decided to invite my friends that are excited to come and have a good time!
Who knew this would be so stressful! I was really trying to be a breezy, stress free bride too and it is not working out!!! hahaha
As far as your mom and her guest list do whatever you think is going to make things easier for you. If you have to give in then thats what you do. Btw I can't believe she said that to Df's cousin!!!
Of course if I'm upset or acting crazy, DF looks at me like I have 3 heads and doesn't understand why I'm so stressed. ahhhhh! 
This this this!
Best advice: just brush off all negativity. Courtenay gave great advice!
Hang in there, girlie!
Awww sweetie - I am so sorry that you are having family dramas. It would seem that very few brides get away without having some family-induced stress before their big day!!
I would say, that your feeling that you should be the bigger person and let your Mum invite her guests, is probably the best course of action. It will stop the stress for you, keep her quiet and keep her occupied at the wedding. If she is paying, it will not cost you any more than a two minute, polite 'hello' at the wedding events, if they come. If they don't, well you have done what was asked of you and your Mum can have no excuse to badger you further. Just MHO. Sometimes, we have to take the road of least resistance for our own sanity!!!
Just wanted to say, that re. the transport for the rehearsal and dinner, don't forget that you could use an outside company for this and not go through DFTW. It would probably be significantly cheaper. We rented a mini-bus to transport our guests from BLT to SSR (Turf Club Grill) for our welcome dinner, and it was very reasonable. Unfortunately, I can't remember how much it was or which company we went with in the end!!!
DF looks at me like I have 3 heads and doesn't understand why I'm so stressed. ahhhhh!
I totally said the same thing, I wasn't going to be stressed, this was all going to be fun! And hey Disney is planning my wedding so things have to be perfect. Well that attitude only lasted a little while. There are so many things that come up when planning a wedding, its just not easy. I have come to realize after talking to so many people that is normal for all this stress, so you just have to accept it and work with it however you can
I can't believe someone would use the excuse that their kids wont' be able to get to their sports events if they are at your wedding lol. People say some crazy things. We had some major drama with my dad's family after we got engaged.(not that your cousins comment was this bad but still we all go through it more so with a destination I guess) There were several comments by my cousins on his side and aunts about how dare I have a Disney wedding because not everyone would be able to come! So that made things easy we wiped them off the guest list and we added people who really want to be there!
Good luck with everything, can't wait to hear what you decide. How many people will you end up with if you add your mom's family?
His family was asking me if they HAD to buy park tickets to attend the wedding, etc. They are all looking for "deals" to stay off property in condos with full kitchens because they for some reason think Disney's prices are so crazy. I was irritated at first and I'm trying to just stop myself and let it go! 
I slightly understand, but we are inviting his entire family and everyone we are close to, so I don't find a need to throw another party when we get back for the people who didn't come or people we didn't invite because we aren't close with them. I'm trying not to be selfish, but it's not like we're only going down with 10 people (then I would understand the at home reception). I'm still also getting asked when the characters and princesses are coming. I'm laughing it off until they see how nice the wedding is actually going to be and then let them feel silly for mocking us. People can be downright fresh! 
but trying to keep positive positive!!! 
