J & T's Wishes Wedding 5/5/12 SB/SBP/BW *Wedding & Aulani HM TR Complete!*

[princesswendy720]

I feel terrible saying it but I've been in such a bad mood the last few days. I feel like I have no idea how I'm going to make everything work and pay for it all. I've been working my bum off doing OT (more $$ than getting a part-time job since I get time and a half) and I'm barely paying my bills at this point. I'm so glad we told our families no presents for Christmas this year because I really don't know how I could make any presents work.

I guess I'm just super stressed at this point, especially knowing we have 5 months to go and now things are really going to kick into gear. I'm trying to keep a brave face, DF has asked what's wrong and if it's wedding related and I keep telling him no, I don't want him to know how stressed I am over this but ugghhh it's so hard. Anyone else hit this wall??

I know how you feel. Money has been tighter around here lately too due to me saving for the wedding. I keep updating my estimated budget whenever new (and of course, higher) pricing is released, then I sit there and calculate how much I'll have saved by the wedding, and we're cutting it close. Do you get a yearly bonus? Also, you'll have tax returns before your wedding so that should help a bit. File as early as possible. I think I did mine in January last year and had it in early February.

If you want to cut down your total BEO at all, you could maybe just do an Antipasto platter at your cocktail hour. That should cut that number in half. Also, you could have people toast with what they have, or negotiate cutting something out of your bar package to have champagne added in as part of the package price.

 

[MrsDuck]

I feel terrible saying it but I've been in such a bad mood the last few days. I feel like I have no idea how I'm going to make everything work and pay for it all. I've been working my bum off doing OT (more $$ than getting a part-time job since I get time and a half) and I'm barely paying my bills at this point. I'm so glad we told our families no presents for Christmas this year because I really don't know how I could make any presents work.

I guess I'm just super stressed at this point, especially knowing we have 5 months to go and now things are really going to kick into gear. I'm trying to keep a brave face, DF has asked what's wrong and if it's wedding related and I keep telling him no, I don't want him to know how stressed I am over this but ugghhh it's so hard. Anyone else hit this wall??

We did hit that wall... and switched to S/D. Wishes just became too much $$.

Try not to stress too much- you can make it work. I guess I'd start by cutting out the stuff you really don't need which means you have to make some tough decisions and really prioritize. It's so disappointing to have to do this but if the budget is becoming a problem it probably should be done.

I think I'd sit down with FI and talk about it and then ask your planner too.

I wish I had a better advice but I do want you to know that I'm sending your way! Keep us updated!

 

[donald&daisy]

I feel terrible saying it but I've been in such a bad mood the last few days. I feel like I have no idea how I'm going to make everything work and pay for it all. I've been working my bum off doing OT (more $$ than getting a part-time job since I get time and a half) and I'm barely paying my bills at this point. I'm so glad we told our families no presents for Christmas this year because I really don't know how I could make any presents work.

I guess I'm just super stressed at this point, especially knowing we have 5 months to go and now things are really going to kick into gear. I'm trying to keep a brave face, DF has asked what's wrong and if it's wedding related and I keep telling him no, I don't want him to know how stressed I am over this but ugghhh it's so hard. Anyone else hit this wall??

I totally know what you mean. We are paying for the wedding ourselves and I'm nervous about getting our BEO back. We've been saving a loooong time and I know how much we can afford, so I'm really hoping what we've asked for comes back in line with that amount. We are keeping Christmas small this year too. I'm sure we will have to make some compromises along the way--I refuse to go into debt for the wedding. Maybe wait until after the holidays and then take another look at your BEO and see if there are some things you won't really miss on the actual day and go from there. It will be okay

 

[virtuous girl]

Dont b stressed out about it but u do have 2 communicate with Df bcuz he needs 2 know what is bothering u... U do not need a major argument b4 the wedding bcuz of the wedding.. Ways 2 cut down can b 2 take out the welcome party, dessert party, & bride's lunch, these alone r almost $7,000. At least u can keep everything on ur wedding day which is more important than these other activities. Just know that u r marrying the man of ur dreams & thats all that matters. U will find a way 2 make it work but u will have 2 communicate in order 2 make it happen

 

[tric8783]

I know how you feel. Money has been tighter around here lately too due to me saving for the wedding. I keep updating my estimated budget whenever new (and of course, higher) pricing is released, then I sit there and calculate how much I'll have saved by the wedding, and we're cutting it close. Do you get a yearly bonus? Also, you'll have tax returns before your wedding so that should help a bit. File as early as possible. I think I did mine in January last year and had it in early February.

If you want to cut down your total BEO at all, you could maybe just do an Antipasto platter at your cocktail hour. That should cut that number in half. Also, you could have people toast with what they have, or negotiate cutting something out of your bar package to have champagne added in as part of the package price.

Thanks for the ideas! I do get a bonus, it comes around mid-Feb so I'm trying to keep in mind I'll get my bonus and tax return around the same time and I'll be fine. I just get myself so worked up in the meantime thinking about all the potential for disaster. ahaha I always try to file really early too, I'm really going to get on DF this year. Last year we had to use the same accountant to file because we own our house together but aren't married, so we need to file separately but split the house (complicated). I'm definitely going to try to work the bar package to include the champagne or else we'll take it out. We already told Maxine we weren't doing speeches/toasts so I think she really did just put all the possibilities in this BEO knowing we'd cut it. I wish she hadn't!!

We did hit that wall... and switched to S/D. Wishes just became too much $$.

Try not to stress too much- you can make it work. I guess I'd start by cutting out the stuff you really don't need which means you have to make some tough decisions and really prioritize. It's so disappointing to have to do this but if the budget is becoming a problem it probably should be done.

I think I'd sit down with FI and talk about it and then ask your planner too.

I wish I had a better advice but I do want you to know that I'm sending your way! Keep us updated!

I hear you. I'm slightly kicking myself since we could have had the beach wedding at the S/D and I never even knew about or considered it really. Of course after we signed our contract it was game over, but I really hope we can make it work and it will still be everything we dreamed. Really in the end I know it's DF and I, and the rest is just a pretty party! I will keep you updated and thank you for the pixie dust, allowing me to vent and the support!!

I totally know what you mean. We are paying for the wedding ourselves and I'm nervous about getting our BEO back. We've been saving a loooong time and I know how much we can afford, so I'm really hoping what we've asked for comes back in line with that amount. We are keeping Christmas small this year too. I'm sure we will have to make some compromises along the way--I refuse to go into debt for the wedding. Maybe wait until after the holidays and then take another look at your BEO and see if there are some things you won't really miss on the actual day and go from there. It will be okay

My parents are basically paying for the wedding, but they've told me they're sticking to the minimum. I'm very detail oriented, so I'm of course plotting in my head all of the extras, the shoe check, the flip flops, the koozies, nice invitations, then I'm thinking of really wanting to do nice things for the girls, get them robes to get ready in, a "nice" gift, etc. I think just seeing these #s and the initial panic got to me and quick. I'm really hoping I can talk to both Laura (def scheduled on Weds) and Maxine (need to call her assistant tom) and calm myself down, get this taken care of!

Dont b stressed out about it but u do have 2 communicate with Df bcuz he needs 2 know what is bothering u... U do not need a major argument b4 the wedding bcuz of the wedding.. Ways 2 cut down can b 2 take out the welcome party, dessert party, & bride's lunch, these alone r almost $7,000. At least u can keep everything on ur wedding day which is more important than these other activities. Just know that u r marrying the man of ur dreams & thats all that matters. U will find a way 2 make it work but u will have 2 communicate in order 2 make it happen

Thank you! I hate being in a bad mood and venting but I couldn't take it anymore, so thanks for listening!! Maxine added in the welcome party and dessert party but they are the same event in two different locations so we could see the price and choose one. So I've already eliminated that! (about 3K), and I'm definitely taking out the luncheon also the day of the wedding. Earl of Sandwich can cater for 10 of us for about $200. Especially since my ladies are already giving me a breakfast that morning, we all arent going to be very hungry a few hours later to spend $40/person on lunch! I know you're right, I stop myself from "complaining" as much as I can! I did break down and tell him this morning I'm super stressed over funds, he of course tells me not to buy all the "crap" that I want (ie the flops, the koozies, the special touches) men!!



After my little rant and your support I am feeling a little better. I just need to watch myself closely and make it all come together! Pixie dust for sure on Weds when I talk to Laura and I'll come back and let you all know when I can talk to Maxine too, assuming it might be Friday (she works M/W/F).
I appreciate you!

 

[tric8783]

Just checking in! I called yesterday and set up a phone appt with Maxine to discuss our BEO- she has next week off so I couldn't get in until 12/14 but I am speaking with Laura tomorrow at 10:30AM!! I've got my list and everything set to go and can't wait to crunch some numbers, fingers crossed for me please!!

We also got our koozies last night!! I'll have to take a picture and post them but I love them!! There are so many in there (we got 100) but it looks like 1,000!!

Hope everyone's having a great week!

 

[LuvLuvLuv]

I just got all caught up!! I definately was in your shoes several times in planning!!! Pshh we left on the plane not knowing if we had enough money for food for the week!! It's very stressful and can take a serious toll on you. Keep thinking that it will all work out!! Money is the one thing that DH and I fought/fight about most--it's really the only thing we quarrel about. We both have 2 jobs, but sometimes it's just not enough!!

Keep your head up---it'll be great!!!

 

[tric8783]

I just got all caught up!! I definately was in your shoes several times in planning!!! Pshh we left on the plane not knowing if we had enough money for food for the week!! It's very stressful and can take a serious toll on you. Keep thinking that it will all work out!! Money is the one thing that DH and I fought/fight about most--it's really the only thing we quarrel about. We both have 2 jobs, but sometimes it's just not enough!!

Keep your head up---it'll be great!!!

Thanks so much for reading and the words of encouragement! It's the only thing we fight over too, I hate it! If only we were all millionaires we wouldnt have these issues!!!

 

[tric8783]

I just got off the phone with Laura (floral) and am feeling much better!! We did take out my peonies from the reception so we can see the cost difference. She also said there are different sizes for the revere bowls to anyone interested in them! We took out the silver goblet set and instead are going to do clear cylinder vases with flowers in the middle and floating candles on top. I really wanted more candlelight and my BEO says "no candles allowed' for some reason, so I was glad we can have some! I am getting the luminary place cards for pretend candle light as it is!

hmm what else, told her to take off the swirled petals for the ceremony, made the silver chiavari chairs a definite for the reception. I also changed to 3 roman tables of 20 (instead of 4) and 2 rounds for 10. i changed my jr bm's bouquet to roses and hyndrangea instead of all the "specialty" flowers in the BM bouquets. Hopefully DF is okay with this since he wanted her to "match" but her favorite flowers are roses so hopefully it will go over well. It will still be the same colors as the other girls. We'll see!

She told me she'll update the changes and have it back to me by tomorrow- yippee! I love fast turn around and I'm really hoping taking out the peonies, changing the centerpieces etc will make a difference!!

i'll post it when i get it!

 

[MrsDuck]

Glad to hear things are coming along in the floral department!

I wanna see the koozies!!

 

[Icecoldpenguin]

I just got off the phone with Laura (floral) and am feeling much better!! We did take out my peonies from the reception so we can see the cost difference. She also said there are different sizes for the revere bowls to anyone interested in them! We took out the silver goblet set and instead are going to do clear cylinder vases with flowers in the middle and floating candles on top. I really wanted more candlelight and my BEO says "no candles allowed' for some reason, so I was glad we can have some! I am getting the luminary place cards for pretend candle light as it is!

hmm what else, told her to take off the swirled petals for the ceremony, made the silver chiavari chairs a definite for the reception. I also changed to 3 roman tables of 20 (instead of 4) and 2 rounds for 10. i changed my jr bm's bouquet to roses and hyndrangea instead of all the "specialty" flowers in the BM bouquets. Hopefully DF is okay with this since he wanted her to "match" but her favorite flowers are roses so hopefully it will go over well. It will still be the same colors as the other girls. We'll see!

She told me she'll update the changes and have it back to me by tomorrow- yippee! I love fast turn around and I'm really hoping taking out the peonies, changing the centerpieces etc will make a difference!!

i'll post it when i get it!

I had not commented yet and I wanted to comment on all of this. While you and I have very different tastes I think you are creating a beautiful wedding. The advice I have for you is that things get stressful but don't let it take over your life. I have had to cut stuff out that I wanted because it just was not necessary. Sometimes those are the things that people won't miss and even though we want them it really comes down to what we need and what we want. I am finding ways to cut things and afford the wedding I want to have. The good thing is that by cutting some things I am able to add in some other things that are less expensive so that can be cool too.

I think if you have not talked to DF that you should because keeping him involved in my opinion is very important. He needs to understand that you are not upset at him and maybe he can help you to de-stress.

I am glad things seem to be working out with changing stuff out just remember that no matter what you do it is going to be gorgeous your location is wonderful and in the end you are marrying your best friend.

Teresa

 

[tric8783]

I had not commented yet and I wanted to comment on all of this. While you and I have very different tastes I think you are creating a beautiful wedding. The advice I have for you is that things get stressful but don't let it take over your life. I have had to cut stuff out that I wanted because it just was not necessary. Sometimes those are the things that people won't miss and even though we want them it really comes down to what we need and what we want. I am finding ways to cut things and afford the wedding I want to have. The good thing is that by cutting some things I am able to add in some other things that are less expensive so that can be cool too.

I think if you have not talked to DF that you should because keeping him involved in my opinion is very important. He needs to understand that you are not upset at him and maybe he can help you to de-stress.

I am glad things seem to be working out with changing stuff out just remember that no matter what you do it is going to be gorgeous your location is wonderful and in the end you are marrying your best friend.

Teresa

Thanks Teresa!! I definitely agree! I'd much rather have our DP than have peonies in our reception decor so I'm willing to make changes! DF is very laid back and care free (we are different personalities haha) But we've been together for 7 years so we're a fine tuned machine by now! He considers being involved as "showing up" and that's perfectly fine with me!! When we bought our house in July 2010 that was the most stressful situation we had ever been in our lives and we made it through (we bought a bank owned foreclosure and it was a MESS to put it nicely). My small freak outs are bumps in the road I know I just need to relax (but my personality tries to fight this!) Thanks for the kind words, I totally agree!! On my pinterest page I have the quote "A wedding is a party, not a performance. If at the end of the day you are married to the one you love, then everything went perfectly." It's so easy to get caught up in the planning but I try to step back and remember this!!

I actually was looking through a site I found and thought of you with your peacock theme!! I was told about a website, ruffledblog.com, there is a section for people who are "recycling their wedding" ie selling their centerpieces, stuff they bought for decor that they now don't need etc.
Saw these peacock "wreaths" that you might like!
http://ruffledblog.com/recycle-your-wedding/see-ads/1888/Peacock-Themed-Wedding/Centerpieces/

 

[Icecoldpenguin]

Thanks Teresa!! I definitely agree! I'd much rather have our DP than have peonies in our reception decor so I'm willing to make changes! DF is very laid back and care free (we are different personalities haha) But we've been together for 7 years so we're a fine tuned machine by now! He considers being involved as "showing up" and that's perfectly fine with me!! When we bought our house in July 2010 that was the most stressful situation we had ever been in our lives and we made it through (we bought a bank owned foreclosure and it was a MESS to put it nicely). My small freak outs are bumps in the road I know I just need to relax (but my personality tries to fight this!) Thanks for the kind words, I totally agree!! On my pinterest page I have the quote "A wedding is a party, not a performance. If at the end of the day you are married to the one you love, then everything went perfectly." It's so easy to get caught up in the planning but I try to step back and remember this!!

I actually was looking through a site I found and thought of you with your peacock theme!! I was told about a website, ruffledblog.com, there is a section for people who are "recycling their wedding" ie selling their centerpieces, stuff they bought for decor that they now don't need etc.
Saw these peacock "wreaths" that you might like!
http://ruffledblog.com/recycle-your-wedding/see-ads/1888/Peacock-Themed-Wedding/Centerpieces/

wow that is awesome thank you so much! I do really like them minus the orange flowers but now I am stuck on there looking at all the stuff people are getting rid of! I love it!

Teresa

 

[BethieTink]

Tricia,

Glad to see that you got some things resolved. Good luck with the call on the 14th.

Can't wait to see the updated BEO. Hopefully, it will come in a lot more reasonably. Even with cutting some stuff back, you will have a lovely day.

Interesting that there are different sized Revere bowls (makes sense, I guess). Another thing for me to think about.

 

[tric8783]

wow that is awesome thank you so much! I do really like them minus the orange flowers but now I am stuck on there looking at all the stuff people are getting rid of! I love it!

Teresa

Yes, isn't it great! I actually copied the wrong link, those are nice too but these wreaths are what I really meant: hahaha
http://ruffledblog.com/recycle-your-wedding/see-ads/1545/Peacock-Wreath-Centerpieces/Centerpieces/

 

[tric8783]

Tricia,

Glad to see that you got some things resolved. Good luck with the call on the 14th.

Can't wait to see the updated BEO. Hopefully, it will come in a lot more reasonably. Even with cutting some stuff back, you will have a lovely day.

Interesting that there are different sized Revere bowls (makes sense, I guess). Another thing for me to think about.

Thank you!! I hope I'll get the updated Floral BEO today from Laura and I'll post it when I do! She told me there were revere bowls much bigger and some smaller, so I think the one I got the picture of was the middle size.

 

[tric8783]

5 months from today!!

 

[CourtenayB]

Yes, isn't it great! I actually copied the wrong link, those are nice too but these wreaths are what I really meant: hahaha
http://ruffledblog.com/recycle-your-wedding/see-ads/1545/Peacock-Wreath-Centerpieces/Centerpieces/

Super awesome site! Thanks! What would we do without the DISboards?

 

[MrsDuck]

5 months from today!!

So excited for you!

 

[tric8783]

Super awesome site! Thanks! What would we do without the DISboards?

I know right!! They even have wedding dresses, shoes, etc on there! Definitely a great resource!