I've never seen so many parents forcing their children to have fun!

[VandVsmama]

I've been on both sides of the argument!

During our last DL visit, I was "that mom" snapping at her kids. It was our 1st day in the parks and we got there for EMH rope drop. We only had to wait 15 minutes at the turnstiles before they let us into the park, but for my kids, it was an eternity. Every 5 seconds, they kept asking, "Is it time now? Is it time? How about now? When are they going to open? It's taking forever." Imagine listening to it for 15 minutes nonstop and I snapped at my kids & told them, "Listen, you need to both calm down. It's only a couple more minutes and they will open when they are supposed to open. Not beforehand. My answer will be the same one minute from now if you ask me again. Now you need to calm down or we'll sit out here and wait while you have a time out once the gates open."

Meanwhile, while I'm lecturing my kids in the line, people are walking past us to get to other turnstile lines and giving me dirty looks. Oh, it was so much fun (not!).

During that same trip, we got FP to go on Star Tours. My kids have both seen Star Wars a couple of times by the time our DL trip occurred. ODD was 6 at the time. And for whatever reason, the Star Tours queue freaked her out. To the point where she was shaking with fear and crying. She was petrified. At first, I was really frustrated and tried to calm her down, but it wasn't working. I didn't want to torture her or everyone else at Star Tours while she had the 6 yr old version of a panic attack in the queue. So she and I left. My 4 yr old was fearless. Couldn't wait to go on it. I took ODD out of line and we did something quieter and more her speed while DH & YDD went on it. DH got a child swap pass, so YDD & I then went on it together. It turned out ok in the end because this way, both DH & I each got to have alone time with each child. So there was a silver lining to the cloud.

Also during that same DL trip, I'd made reservations at Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique for both of my kids to get makeovers. ODD loved it. Was grinning ear to ear. YDD hated it. She kept it together while they did her hair, but they pulled on her hair really tight and it hurt her a lot and once they put the sparkly hairspray all over her hair, some got in her mouth because her mouth was open. Once the makeover was done and I paid the insane amount like $50-$60 for it, we left the boutique and she totally broke down outside the door to the salon.

And insisted that I take all of the fancy hair stuff out and remove her makeup that I'd just spent all that money on. She didn't even want to wear the princess dress. I mean, it was a total melt down and this was on our 1st day at DL and only after we'd been there a couple of hours!

So off to the bathroom she and I went. DH took ODD over to Princess Fantasy Faire and she had a great time meeting Aurora (her favorite) and 2 other princesses while I did my best to undo the fancy hair do in the ladies restroom. And we had a quiet moment on a bench while YDD cried her eyes out some more and told me how horrible they were in BBB and "Mommy, don't ever make me go back there ever again!"

2 years later and she still talks about it occasionally. When we started planning this trip, her first thing was "Mommy, we aren't going to go to the hair place where they spray glitter in your hair, are we? Because I DO NOT WANT TO DO THAT!"

Prior to having kids, I used to be "that tourist" who would spout stuff to my friends about "people don't control their kids these days" and other such nonsense. Oh how clueless and judgemental I was! I really was an idiot back then. LOL!

 

[TechGuy]

I see both side of this and no, you cannot make an sweeping judgement based on one observation.

For and my DD, she loves roller coasters but detests Ferris (Mickeys Fun Wheel) wheels. We made her ride and it was the last time we did. She hated it, every second. Other rides we made her ride, she loved every second and wanted to ride again..Screaming...POTC...SpaceMountain. She is also the kid skipping and singing down Main Street at midnight after getting to DL at rope drop. This was when she was 4-10 years old, 3 different DLR trips.

My brother and SIL, they are the ones the drag the kids around, past all established nap-times, much to the acoustical distress of every person within a 100 yard radius. They didn't want to miss the "family time". We left them to wallow in the melt downs, until the nuclear melt downs during lunch, in the private dining room at Brennan's. That melt down carried on through the restaurant and down the stair case and into DTD. Many extra hurricanes were consumed that afternoon. I was very glad my brother was paying the bill on that dinner.

 

[Aladora]

2 years later and she still talks about it occasionally. When we started planning this trip, her first thing was "Mommy, we aren't going to go to the hair place where they spray glitter in your hair, are we? Because I DO NOT WANT TO DO THAT!"

That totally made me laugh!

The first time we took DS on Space Mountain it was at Hallowe'en time so Space was Ghostly Galaxy. As we the ride was just ending and we are pulling in to get off, all you could hear was my son saying very loudly and very clearly "Never, ever, EVER again! I NEVER want to do that again! EVER!"

Fast forward 6 months to our next trip and the same child insisted on going on Space as often as we could, maxing out at 5 times in the same day. He still talks about how terrible SM-GG was.

This past February we had to almost force him (and to a lesser extent me!) to try California Screamin' for the first time. It took months of talking about it and a promise that if he hated it, he would not have to try it again.

The first day, he rode it 3 times. I refused to go back after the first time.

 

[Tinkerbell19672]

I remember our son at 4&1/2 yr. old having a fit before we rode Soarin'. He had talked himself in to thinking that the ride was scary or something and there was no convincing him otherwise. He wasn't screaming and carrying on, he was just trying to convince us this was not the ride for him. We were beginning to get a little impatient with him by the time we got on the ride. Of course he loved it and it is still a ride we have to do at least once whenever we go to DCA!

On the other hand, when we were just at DL recently there were 2 families with small kids. The parents were trying to get the kids pumped to go on Space Mountain. These kids were in the age range of maybe 3 or 4 to 5 years old. There was one little girl with a princess dress that was probably in the 4 yr. old range that did not want to ride. She was literally hanging on to the railing as you go down the ramp to get on the ride, crying. Her dad pried her off of the railing and carried her down the ramp to the ride. When it was their turn to get on to the ride, he made her get in, she was still crying and trying to get out. The CMs made him take her out and wait to the side while the rest of their party went on the ride. Dad did NOT look happy. We felt sad for her but were so glad that the CMs made them get out. It would have ruined the ride for her (and others) and maybe ruin roller coasters for her altogether.

Wow, that's crazy! I can't imagine trying to force my crying child on a ride. I think it's great the CM made him take her off.

 

[4Siamese]

On my upcoming trip I'm taking four kids that aren't mine and two that are. I know my girls will get on anything they can and for the most part so will 3 of the four that are not mine. However, my nephew who is 8 is a scared and has been telling me. At first he was agreeing with all the kids about getting on all the rides, but as we get closer he has started telling me how scared he is.

This past weekend I was at my brothers house watching the fight and his son was telling the other kids how he wasn't going to get on TOT because he was scared. His dad kind of shocked me by telling him that he better get on and if he don't that he is going to get it when he gets home and to stop acting like a little girl. Then he turns to me and tells me to make sure he gets on all the rides and to let him know if he don't.

Wow just Wow...I'm hope you don't do that if the child doesn't want to go on particular rides.

 

[Mugglemama]

As someone who had AP's for a couple of years and took 3 young children with me every single visit (at least once per week, usually), I find it silly to assume that the people forcing their kids to go on rides are the locals. I mean...there's far less pressure to "get your money's worth" when you can visit often.

My own children were almost always willing and happy to go on things, but if they weren't, our rule was always that they didn't have to get on ANYTHING they didn't want to get on. Disneyland is our fun place...nobody in our family has to do things there that make them miserable. That's what our regular life is for..LOL!

 

[FryingPansWhoKnew]

I wonder what kind of parent I'd be if I never encouraged my children to face and overcome their fears.

 

[VandVsmama]

What I found the most ironic about that particular trip is my 4 yr old was petrified of the super girly oh so lovely beauty shop. Yet she jumped up and down with glee at the thought of going on the "ride with the golden robot" again.

Re: pushing your kids to overcome their fears...it is definitely an individual thing that the parents have to decide for each child. Each kid is a bit different. They're like a box of chocolates sometimes...you never know what you're gonna get! Lol!

 

[aliceindisneyland]

Additionally, there were a lot of moments in which I thought that locals who visit Disneyland very often destroy the atmosphere for visitors who are there for the first time. They made us feel in some points like we are not asked for to be in their private wonderland. We sometimes looked us in the eyes and thought the same things of what just happened...

We're not "locals" but we have been APs for over 8 years and spend upwards of 30 days a year in the Parks. I make sure my kids squelch any fighting, whining about ride closures or lines, talking loudly during rides, etc. because they will be back in a few weeks but for many of their fellow Park-goers it may be their one and only chance to visit Disneyland! I expect them to display good manners and common decency everywhere we go, but at Disneyland they are required to bring their A-game.
Disneyland is not our "private wonderland" but we do consider it our second home, and in our home we go out of our way to make our guests comfortable. I am sure most APs feel as we do.

 

[bumbershoot]

No child wants to go to a Disney park in the evening, for example at 11 pm.

I have always been a nightowl. Saturday Night Live started just after my 5th birthday and I have been watching it since then because I Could Not Sleep and my room was right off the living room (800 sq ft house). The only time I have been able to sleep well is when I was pregnant and then I slept all the time. If I had been at Disneyland as a little kid you bet your sweet bippy (I have had that phrase in my head literally all day LOL) I would be yearning to go at 11.

And like the NZ person said, you don't know what timezone their bodies are on. When we go to WDW, 11pm is 8pm for us. 9pm is the *start* of bedtime for DS. We could be in the parks easily until midnight during our first nights. Easily.

I've heard a mother say to their girls that thay have an appointment somewhere to get costumes and princess style outfits. All girls started to cry. They said they do not want to do that, but the mother did not want to hear any arguments and they went off.

Yes, kids often do not want to stop what they are doing RIGHT NOW in order to go off and do something else. Kids often can't even think about what that something else was. They just want to stay there and do whatever it is they are doing. That's why kids don't have the right to vote or drive or make big legal decisions. Because they can't think things through. 10 minutes later I nearly guarantee those girls were in 7th heaven and thankful that their mom took them off for it.

Wow, why didnt he just shut up and let everyone, especially the children, enjoy the ride!?

Talking kids through rides is a way to help them enjoy it. I'm going to assume he knew his kid best.

We overheard so many meltdowns, mothers yelling at their children because they were just tired and out of energy...terrifying!

It's terrifying to you? I am now certain you do not have children. Or have never traveled with them. If only you could see our meltdown in Heathrow last year. Oh it was lovely. Kid let me get under 40 minutes of sleep from Vancouver to Heathrow, we had less than 2 hours to get through Heathrow from Air Canada's side to Aer Lingus and the airlines gave exactly the wrong people forms, so I had to fill it out, then I got all lost and had to refind my way, then there was a horribly long line....and DS was absolutely LOSING IT the entire way. I had told him 18,000 times that there were AL flights every single hour, and he could not hear me. And, yep, I lost it. Tried to lose it quietly, but lost it I did. I was not nice. But...neither was he. I had gently told him many many times that I was starting to lose it and he kept on doing it. Kicker was the customs dude asking me "if you are a stay at home parent, where did you get the money for this trip?" Finally we got through, RAN, and got on our original flight.

You have NO idea what someone has been going through right before you walk up, nor do you have a clue about what happens just after you walk away.

Why not smile and send out LOVE towards those people instead of being judgy and mean about it? I mean, what do you think would help the situation you're hating so much? More rudeness, or more love?

there were a lot of moments in which I thought that locals who visit Disneyland very often destroy the atmosphere for visitors who are there for the first time.

How on EARTH can you figure out who is local? Please won't someone let me in on the secret?

Edited to add that nearly everyone that has a kid has experienced the dredded meltdown at an undesirable place. Kids do these things for one reason or another and it's easy to judge others, but without knowing the whole story, you shouldn't judge because your kids could be the next ones doing something you never expected them to do at Disneyland.

All the yesses.

I got the feeling that the mother knew she'd be afraid of the dark and that's why she had the flashlight ready, which was annoying.

That's when I whip out all my glow bracelets, crack 'em, and give them to the mom. Helps light up your exact area without searing other peoples' retinas! (I crack them because I buy cheap glow sticks and get embarrassed if I give out a dud)

We learned early on, and adopted the policy that if we are not all having fun, we go back to the room.

I'm sure that works for you. For my family, even just the 3 of us, it would bring down all the misery. If someone needs to go back to the room and it's an adult, they go alone. If the kidlet needs it, the parents decide who goes. We don't all go unless we all need it. (and I don't nap so I never need it)

You just don't know what's going on in a kid's head.

OH so true.

DS loves LOVES the action on TOT! Loves it! Has since he was 4. HATES the storyline. Thinks we turn into skeletons and die and we are still dead even though we are not. He's 11 and might still think that. He can *now* ignore the storyline and enjoy the ride, but it took a long time.

When he was 4 he suddenly hated POTC. He's been riding it since 17 months. Loves it! Loves Jack. At 4, NO. At 5 (and yes we went for his birthday both years because it fell over Mem Day weekend) it was a yes again. One solid year was spent not on POTC because of something mystifying happening inside his noggin.

Fast forward 6 months to our next trip and the same child insisted on going on Space as often as we could, maxing out at 5 times in the same day. He still talks about how terrible SM-GG was.

GG is horrible. DS hates it. Wouldn't maybe hate it if I hadn't put my hand on his shoulder at, unfortunately, the EXACT same time the ghost swung his hand down from the heavens. Sigh. Oops.

And he balks at DL's Space because we like it. He loves WDW's Space because we dislike it. Little stinker LOL. Pre-WDW he loved DL's Space.

And I once forced him on Peter Pan. He'd been on it many times and loved it, but that morning he was sleepy and really didn't like how dark the line was. I knew that he would get into it once in the ship, and he did, but that whole line long was, well, long, of constant quiet talking with him and reminding him of all the past rides he had enjoyed. If you were only watching body language, if you were too far away to hear, you would have thought I was "forcing" him on a ride and destroying his soul...when I was just reminding him that he loved it, that the line just felt dark (look out there, it's daylight! it's the morning! we're just underneath a roof, that's all), and that it would be great.

 

[sweethannah]

My DD encouraged me to try scarier rides. I didn't do CS our first trip. Her and DH begged me to try it on our 2nd trip and I was incredibly anxious the whole wait. But I did it, and it was terrific and we did it again right away. I did ToT once on my first trip and I was like, NOPE! but she persuaded me to try again and now I love it. We rode it back to back to back and goofed around for family pictures ( which we got to keep thanks PP+).
DD was scared to re-try Indy but we made a deal and encouraged each other to conquer our fears.

I have yet to conquer my fear of Space Mountain mind you. Based on my fear of vomiting, mostly. I rode it once and felt pretty for the rest of the day.

 

[Liberator]

How on EARTH can you figure out who is local? Please won't someone let me in on the secret?

Pins stating AP, Shirts stating AP and hometown, a lot of conversation, Lanyards with AP

maybe I mixed up locals with AP holders, but what I wanted to say that people who have obviously an AP and visit Disney very often talk a lot and loudest on the rides and gave us sometimes an awkward feeling. Just 1 example: an old lady stared at our 1st visit buttons and snottily said "This is really your first visit? Well, I have visited XXX times" M'am, we do not care for you and your visits, thank you!

My friend smokes, she put on a cigarette in , not knowing that Disney is a non-smoking place. The bashing began within seconds, I did not even regonized she started smoking. Why not being friendly and ask her to stop? No, some people draped with pins and buttons like a souvenir shop totally overreacted...my friend asked my why these people do not care for themselves and their obvious problems


No, I do not have children
Yes, I also had meltdowns
Yes, some children may like it to be up after 11 pm

I am not rude, but in some ridiculous situations I can not smile and I do not care for parents who say nasty things to their children. Disney may be the happiest place on earth, but some people take this slogan a little bit too serious...

Seeing so many meltdowns and crying children in the evening is not a fault of the children, being judgy or not...

I did not want my original post spread so much negativity, but all that is just what I recognized very often during our visit. So often, that I thought I should write it on here...

we really had a nice time at DL anyway and I do not want to offend anyone with my post. If I did, I am sorry!

 

[McNs]

I've enjoyed reding through this thread, as a parent it makes me feel a little lore...normal.

 

[elmoandzoey]

I have to say this - I seem to be very blessed with children who tend to not have any temper tantrums at all. I don't know why that is but if there is something they don't like, they just plane out say it. Even when they were little, they would just say "no". We'd explain to them what was going on, if they still said "no", we'd say "tough luck" and they'd have to go along. Then they'd go along, pouting silently but we'd never get any temper tantrum out of it. When they get tired, they just get silent and either track along or want to be picked up and then fall asleep. That's just how my kids are. The older ones were good when we took them to Disney - I think they were more intimidated by the pure wasteness of WDW and what was going on. The little one we haven't taken yet but we plan to in October. So when going to Disney and seeing kids have their fit, I was always a bit along the line of "get your kid under control" or "you didn't raise your children well".

So on my last trip, I met up with a friend and her two kids (4 and 9). They are locals, the kids know the park well. I know the kids since they were little. They are raised very well, they have good manners and I never found them to be overly dramatic or prone to temper tantrums - until I saw them at DL. Oh holy moly. 5 minutes in we walk to BTMRR and the wait is 15 mins. We say we'll go on the ride an the 9yo starts throwing a temper tantrum out of nowhere: "it's too long, I don't want to wait, I am not going on this ride, I am not waiting 15 mins" (she did that 4 more times during the day!). I was totally flabbergasted because that is something I am not used to with my kids. So we are dragging this screaming kid into the queue to the point where she's all into tears and screaming her head off. All I kept thinking, okay, now I am that person that people will look at and probably say "get your kid under control". She spent 15 minutes of throwing her temper tantrum while we ignored her until she actually gets up to the loading platform and suddenly she's all smiles, bouncing up and down and "I want to sit in the very back please". Of course coming off the ride and trying to get onto HM with a posted 15 min ride, we get the same thing "the line is looping to the side, it's like a maze, it's so long, I don't wanna wait, I don't wanna go..." 15 mins later she's laughing and bouncing and trying to scare the crap out of her little brother. And this was at 9am in the morning and neither of the kids were overly tired or overly stimulated. So why did we take the screaming kid through the queue? Because her mom knew she'd totally enjoy it and that was just a short phase she had to go through. Did I feel bad for the people around? Yes, of course I did. I felt very embarassed because of 9yo's behaviour, as did her mom. And it didn't get better when the 4yo started picking on his sister for being overly dramatic. We tried our best to not encourage her behaviour but at some point there's only so much you can do when a kid has her mind set on something. We made sure we didn't start an argument with a 9yr old (you will not win), we didn't yell at her, we didn't grab her and pushed her along, we just let her be. Everything else probably would have escalated the situation. However if we hadn't told her to track along, neither of the 4 of us would have gotten any fun out of it. And yes, we all had super fun on all the rides we went on, even if it started with a temper tantrum.

I am not judging people anymore. There's always two sides to the story and unless you have walked in someone else's shoes, you shouldn't question what they are doing. True, it may come across strange if you see someone dragging their screaming child through the queue and all that but I think you shouldn't just conclude that the parents are pushing their children or the likes. There may be instances when that is true but there are always instances when it's not.

That said - it is not an excuse to be rude to your children or the other visitors. There is no need to yell and scream and cuss at your children our other visitors. That is an absolute no go I cannot and will not tolerate. Children - temper tantrum or not - are still human beings and nobody deserves to be yelled or cussed at for their behavior.

 

[JennyN]

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry you had these issues Liberator. I'm not a local ( Australian) and I have been to DL many times. There have been times I have been tired and snapped at the kids or my husband, but we have still had a wonderful holiday. Maybe I could learn from some others how to refrain from being angry and snappy at times, unfortunately I'm just human.

 

[mom2rtk]

Pins stating AP, Shirts stating AP and hometown, a lot of conversation, Lanyards with AP

maybe I mixed up locals with AP holders, but what I wanted to say that people who have obviously an AP and visit Disney very often talk a lot and loudest on the rides and gave us sometimes an awkward feeling. Just 1 example: an old lady stared at our 1st visit buttons and snottily said "This is really your first visit? Well, I have visited XXX times" M'am, we do not care for you and your visits, thank you!

My friend smokes, she put on a cigarette in , not knowing that Disney is a non-smoking place. The bashing began within seconds, I did not even regonized she started smoking. Why not being friendly and ask her to stop? No, some people draped with pins and buttons like a souvenir shop totally overreacted...my friend asked my why these people do not care for themselves and their obvious problems


No, I do not have children
Yes, I also had meltdowns
Yes, some children may like it to be up after 11 pm

I am not rude, but in some ridiculous situations I can not smile and I do not care for parents who say nasty things to their children. Disney may be the happiest place on earth, but some people take this slogan a little bit too serious...

Seeing so many meltdowns and crying children in the evening is not a fault of the children, being judgy or not...

I did not want my original post spread so much negativity, but all that is just what I recognized very often during our visit. So often, that I thought I should write it on here...

we really had a nice time at DL anyway and I do not want to offend anyone with my post. If I did, I am sorry!

So your friend was smoking outside a designated area and you start a thread to complain about how rude everyone else was?

And maybe the person commenting on your first visit pin just wanted to start up a conversation? I love chatting with others in the parks. And yes, through the years, my kids have acted up from time to time. But we had a great time and made great family memories.

I think once you have kids you'll look back on this thread with an "aha" moment.

 

[Liberator]

So your friend was smoking outside a designated area and you start a thread to complain about how rude everyone else was?

And maybe the person commenting on your first visit pin just wanted to start up a conversation? I love chatting with others in the parks. And yes, through the years, my kids have acted up from time to time. But we had a great time and made great family memories.

I think once you have kids you'll look back on this thread with an "aha" moment.

yes, she started to smoke a cigarette out of sudden, she was not aware that Disney is non-smoking. I should have told her as I knew that she needs a cigarette from time to time. But there is a difference between telling someone to stop smoking that cigarette and pointing with a finger on someone and start yelling.

Yes, I like to start chatting with people too. But she was just snotty from the beginning she opened her mouth.


A day can not be 100 % perfect, but there were a lot of awkward incidents that gave us a strange feeling. Maybe it was because of the crowds. And the parades. Parades seem to soak out the humanity of some visitors brains


regarding the meltdowns: maybe you are right with the aha-moment one day

 

[JenKate]

I'm 37 and I cry if you make me go on Space Mountain. (Oops, 38 now!)

Our kids cried because we MADE THEM go to Disneyland the first time. They wanted to go to the hotel pool. I planned that surprise for a year, so yep, I forced them to enter the most magical place on earth. They got over it after a few minutes.

 

[VandVsmama]

Just another point of view to consider, but certain parts of the U.S. ARE very anti-smoking and California is one of those places. Southern CA culture is big on health and fitness. "Working out" is a national past time in LA. When you consider that, it is not surprising that other guests around you were a bit upset. At least your friend was polite and put out the cigarette!

Also, some people are VERY allergic to strong odors like cigarette smoke. My dad, for example, can get asthma attacks so bad that he has to carry an epipen for emergencies. So maybe the people snapping at your friend had something like that going on.

 

[maltdizzy]

A lot of people willingly light up in theme parks (and elsewhere) in defiance to no-smoking rules. It becomes a pet peeve to deal with them. Ca. is fore-runner in smoking bans, in some cities is ticket-able to light up in public. The Ca. bans have existed long enough that people have become very sensitize to the rare instance of cigarette smoke.

As to identifying locals...just like in WDW, the locals aren't necessarily the ones covered in the AP pins and lanyards, those are just people who are fortunate enough to have time and money to visit often, from wherever. The "easy to spot" locals are the Mickey Goths (usually from Orange Co.) or the heavy-tattooed families from all over So. Ca.; but that's still a very small sample of a population of 20+ million that all live within a 2-hour drive to DL.

Theme parks can bring out the worst in good or bad people...they feel financial strain, get worn out with the lines and crowds, they can bear a grudge all day against another rude guest, etc. I don't worry about things that are out of my control, I just do my best to be understanding.