I've HAD it. Parents v. Non-Parents at work

[Handbag Lady]

Why is it that when someone has a new baby, or a kid issue, or whatever, they get to leave work and rush home right away...leaving the rest of us to do their work to cover and we don't get any compensation of time off?

I understand. Stop it, don't try to explain. I know that kids need care outside of work. I know that when there is a newborn, you might need more time off of work. I'm not begrudging you the time off.

But why, oh, why, do you think we like to cover for you for nothing?

Does it EVER enter your head that maybe one or two days a month those of us without kids would like to be told, "Hey, you covered for me when my kid was sick/colic-y/pregnant wife was hormonal, take the last two hours off and I'll cover for you?"

 

[Chelley00]

Does it EVER enter your head that maybe one or two days a month those of us without kids would like to be told, "Hey, you covered for me when my kid was sick/colic-y/pregnant wife was hormonal, take the last two hours off and I'll cover for you?"

Have you ever asked? If one of my coworkers wanted to take time off, and had covered for me, I'd GLADLY cover for them, but they'd need to ask because I can't read their minds

 

[Robinrs]

Feel better????

 

[Minnie_me]

Oh, get over yourself.

I cover for child-free friends at work ALL THE TIME. Way more than they cover for me. They have to leave early for dr's appointments, for a friend's wedding or baby shower, to take their cat to the vet, to go out of town with their friends, to get work done on their cars.

 

[MushyMushy]

I've seen non-parents have to take a LOT of time off for their own aging parents.

It all comes around at some point.

 

[MM27]

I agree with you OP

 

[Kimberle]

I've had a good 25-30 people working for me. The ones who "needed" the most time "off" were the ones w/ no kids. The ones with kids only took what they needed for fear of "loosing" it.

Just my personal experience.....

 

[Allison]

Well, most people I know aren't in a position to tell a coworker to take time off. That is the manager's job. It's also not the coworker's job to determine your compensation.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Well, most people I know aren't in a position to tell a coworker to take time off. That is the manager's job. It's also not the coworker's job to determine your compensation.

That's what I was thinking. Like the parent should pay the non parent over time? If it's a problem, talk to your manager. If the OP had someone who depended on them, I'm sure it would work the other way, too.

 

[Magic Mom]

People have covered for me when I have to leave because of a sick kid, and I've had to cover for people who have to leave because of other types of family emergencies (most recently a very sick parent.) It evens out.

 

[Rupert B Puppenstein]

I have to agree somewhat...there are parents at work that do hardly ever call in and work really hard but there are some that you know they just don't want to come in, but their kid is suddenly sick. The ones that abuse things are the ones that ruin it for those that are responsible and have kids. There are always a couple different groups. If you work hard as a parent, I have no problem with you leaving early to go support your kid at school, take them to the doctor, etc. But, there are people that I at least work with that purposely got pregnant for the extra freedom - their words not mine - granted, I guess it backfired in that their children seemed to be the ones that could never sleep through the night.

I have worked in environments where things were pretty even, but my latest environment has more abusers than I ever thought I would see. Things happen, but if you just don't feel like coming into work, why blame it on an excuse involving your child? I have yet to see it even out for me - but that is just my experience. I work a lot more than the parents in my area and they never cover me enough to call it even. I am not talking about overtime, I am just talking about helping out when you need it.

 

[HelenePA]

I would think your co-workers HATE asking you to cover for them I'm sure they love you for doing so even if they dont say it. I'm sure if your husband/cat/dog/fish/goat got sick and you needed to go home and take care of it us with children would cover for you.

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

My heart bleeds for you, having to work all 40 of those hours a week without needing to rush out and take care of someone else, sucking it up when you are feeling like caca because you know you'll need to be able to leave at some point in the future when your children need you. It bleeds I tell you.

I took so much more time off work before I had kids, when I had to rush out of work to take my dad to the ER or to take my mom to the doctor.

 

[RitaE]

ooh - volatile topic!
I can tell you that when I worked "in an office" ... I was usually at my desk by 6:30 or 7am because I knew that when 5pm hit I needed to be out of there because my childcare ended (no ifs ands or buts) at 6pm.

I also rarely took more than a 30 minute lunch, I didn't wander in late on Monday morning and I didn't stand around gossiping for hours because I KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that my work needed to be done because my childcare ended at 6pm no ifs and or buts.

Meanwhile, those with lives different than mine where always asking "Why does she never work late, why is she never in on weekends etc etc etc

Luckily I worked for a boss who kept this nifty little "Projects completed" worksheet and whenever these types of discussions would develop would post it as proof of who was the most productive. Let's just say I never had anything to be ashamed about in regards to my value to my employer.

Every office is different and every employee is different. Obviously the OP has an issue going on in her workplace, but to lump all working parents into that category is quite insulting.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Have you ever asked? If one of my coworkers wanted to take time off, and had covered for me, I'd GLADLY cover for them, but they'd need to ask because I can't read their minds

Yes, I've asked. Usually, someone's kid is sick. I am told, "well, they have a kid."

Feel better????

OH, YES. Thank you!

Oh, get over yourself.

I cover for child-free friends at work ALL THE TIME. Way more than they cover for me. They have to leave early for dr's appointments, for a friend's wedding or baby shower, to take their cat to the vet, to go out of town with their friends, to get work done on their cars.

I'm not them. I don't even have a pet. My mechanic has weekend hours and I'm never late to work.

I've seen non-parents have to take a LOT of time off for their own aging parents.

It all comes around at some point.

My parents are only 20 years older than me. They have more time off from work than I do.

I agree with you OP

Thanks!

I've had a good 25-30 people working for me. The ones who "needed" the most time "off" were the ones w/ no kids. The ones with kids only took what they needed for fear of "loosing" it.

Just my personal experience.....

Again, not me. I take my annual vacation with 12 months' notice.

Well, most people I know aren't in a position to tell a coworker to take time off. That is the manager's job. It's also not the coworker's job to determine your compensation.

If they can tell me to cover for them while Junior has the sniffles, they can tell me to knock off early. Again, it doesn't even enter their mind to ask, or ask the boss.

That's what I was thinking. Like the parent should pay the non parent over time? If it's a problem, talk to your manager. If the OP had someone who depended on them, I'm sure it would work the other way, too.

We are all salary. There is no overtime. The thing is, I don't have anyone to depend on me except my husband. He manages just fine without me during the day.

 

[Allison]

ooh - volatile topic!
I can tell you that when I worked "in an office" ... I was usually at my desk by 6:30 or 7am because I knew that when 5pm hit I needed to be out of there because my childcare ended (no ifs ands or buts) at 6pm.

I also rarely took more than a 30 minute lunch, I didn't wander in late on Monday morning and I didn't stand around gossiping for hours because I KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that my work needed to be done because my childcare ended at 6pm no ifs and or buts.

Meanwhile, those with lives different than mine where always asking "Why does she never work late, why is she never in on weekends etc etc etc

Luckily I worked for a boss who kept this nifty little "Projects completed" worksheet and whenever these types of discussions would develop would post it as proof of who was the most productive. Let's just say I never had anything to be ashamed about in regards to my value to my employer.

Every office is different and every employee is different. Obviously the OP has an issue going on in her workplace, but to lump all working parents into that category is quite insulting.

Well stated.

 

[JerseyJanice]

But, there are people that I at least work with that purposely got pregnant for the extra freedom - their words not mine - granted, I guess it backfired in that their children seemed to be the ones that could never sleep through the night.

This might be one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read.

There is one thing that parents of young children do NOT have, and that is freedom. Nothing I can think of (short of prison, maybe) impinges on your freedom more than being a parent of little kids.

If a coworker seriously told you that--and frankly, I don't believe it--it was surely her first child.

 

[Allison]

Lets see.

My employee who calls in sick the most has no kids at home.

My employee who changes their schedule the most has no kids at home.

My employee who is gone the most to attend to family is attending to an elderly parent not a child.

Big deal. I don't judge a whole category of people based on that. They are good employees.

 

[HelenePA]

This might be one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read.

There is one thing that parents of young children do NOT have, and that is freedom. Nothing I can think of (short of prison, maybe) impinges on your freedom more than being a parent of little kids.

If a coworker seriously told you that--and frankly, I don't believe it--it was surely her first child.

There are times I am SURE prisoners have more freedom and I do! Its all worth it in the end...

Since we are lumping parents together based on a few does that mean all childless couples are children haters?

 

[Handbag Lady]

People have covered for me when I have to leave because of a sick kid, and I've had to cover for people who have to leave because of other types of family emergencies (most recently a very sick parent.) It evens out.

Maybe it just hasn't been my time yet. Also, it never enters the minds of these people to think to offer.

I have to agree somewhat...there are parents at work that do hardly ever call in and work really hard but there are some that you know they just don't want to come in, but their kid is suddenly sick. The ones that abuse things are the ones that ruin it for those that are responsible and have kids. There are always a couple different groups. If you work hard as a parent, I have no problem with you leaving early to go support your kid at school, take them to the doctor, etc. But, there are people that I at least work with that purposely got pregnant for the extra freedom - their words not mine - granted, I guess it backfired in that their children seemed to be the ones that could never sleep through the night.

I have worked in environments where things were pretty even, but my latest environment has more abusers than I ever thought I would see. Things happen, but if you just don't feel like coming into work, why blame it on an excuse involving your child? I have yet to see it even out for me - but that is just my experience. I work a lot more than the parents in my area and they never cover me enough to call it even. I am not talking about overtime, I am just talking about helping out when you need it.

My husband and I joke all the time that we need to rent a kid to leave early on a Tuesday.

I would think your co-workers HATE asking you to cover for them I'm sure they love you for doing so even if they dont say it. I'm sure if your husband/cat/dog/fish/goat got sick and you needed to go home and take care of it us with children would cover for you.

Okay, you can come and work with me. You get it. (But I doubt those hate asking me, I am really nice about it because I do understand when your kid is sick, you NEED to be there for them.)

My heart bleeds for you, having to work all 40 of those hours a week without needing to rush out and take care of someone else, sucking it up when you are feeling like caca because you know you'll need to be able to leave at some point in the future when your children need you. It bleeds I tell you.

I took so much more time off work before I had kids, when I had to rush out of work to take my dad to the ER or to take my mom to the doctor.

I WISH I only worked 40 hours a week. That would be a vacation.

ooh - volatile topic!
I can tell you that when I worked "in an office" ... I was usually at my desk by 6:30 or 7am because I knew that when 5pm hit I needed to be out of there because my childcare ended (no ifs ands or buts) at 6pm.

I also rarely took more than a 30 minute lunch, I didn't wander in late on Monday morning and I didn't stand around gossiping for hours because I KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that my work needed to be done because my childcare ended at 6pm no ifs and or buts.

Meanwhile, those with lives different than mine where always asking "Why does she never work late, why is she never in on weekends etc etc etc

Luckily I worked for a boss who kept this nifty little "Projects completed" worksheet and whenever these types of discussions would develop would post it as proof of who was the most productive. Let's just say I never had anything to be ashamed about in regards to my value to my employer.

Every office is different and every employee is different. Obviously the OP has an issue going on in her workplace, but to lump all working parents into that category is quite insulting.

Ah, I disagree. I wasn't lumping all working parents into my complaint group. Just the ones who take LOTS of time off without even thinking about those of us stuck with their work. Heck, I've worked with working parents who never took excessive time off (but then again, she had a house-husband and didn't need to).