"I've Got Some Bad News and Some Worse News!" 11/14 Last chap!

[DONTMINDME]

My heart goes out to the family and everyone who was touched by their lives, what a heartbreaking lose.
Now how did you keep from slapping his teacher , who made her an expert on burn victims, and the emotional scars left behind. I know you had to be seething and it probably took alot to keep from slapping the bejezzus out of her, I don't know if I would have had the self control. Baylor has made so much progress and for her to assume she knows whats best for him.......

 

[Mndisneygirl]

Holy He!!
to that "teacher". I can't imagine anyone less understanding or reasonable. Keep fighting (as I KNOW you will) until you and Baylor are satisfied. That is simply ridiculous.

Oh, there are so many times where I just don't understand how people can think the way they do.

So sorry, again, for you and Baylor to have to continue going through such pain - especially in this case, where it is unnecesary.

Good luck!

 

[Whitleigh]

What a jerk teacher! I certainly cannot relate to Baylor's experience, but I also asked to read a different book when I was in high school because of the content. My teacher agreed since a few others asked to do the same, but he was so rude to us! It is amazing to me how rude can teachers can be, and so insensitive! Good luck to you and Baylor, and I agree, go to the principal for sure!!

 

[lovealldisney]

It is a book about a kid who gets into an accident, drinking and driving and his best friend's legs get pinned under the dash of the car and he gets stuck and is burned alive and dies. The kid who drove, goes through counseling etc. and still ends up killing himself because he can hear the screams of the friend who was being burned.

And who put this on the reading list? I wouldn't want my kids to read this in school. I would go to his counselor and even talk with the principle. If that doesn't work then go to the superintendent of you school district.


My DD in 7th grade was banned from the big school trip to Noah's Ark for joking around with a friend and saying she saw his tidy whities! Now this wasn't like she said it loudly so the whole class could hear they were standing in line and they both were joking around. She is not a girl that is a trouble maker or is failing in school in fact she was on the honor roll. Well the vice principle took it way to far banning her from the trip, she had to serve detentions after school and write a letter of apology to the student she made the remark to! I confronted him and told him that he was taking this way to far and that he should take into consideration how well of a student she is, how she has never been in trouble before ect... he wouldn't budge. So I told him in no way was she serving detentions or writing a letter. I then went to the superintendent of schools, only by doing this did she finally get to go on the field trip. So if this is a big issue with Baylor don't back down and go above and beyond.

 

[Pamlur]

Dawn, don't back down (not that I ever thought you would); if you need some backup, I'm sure there are several people from the Dis who wouldn't mind a little road trip to meet with the officials of Baylor's school district. I would love to have a little chat with that teacher, on the subject of human kindness and how to possibly acquire it.

 

[Christy LOVES Disney]

This just breaks my heart. First the kid whos house Baylor was at should stop being so ignorant and take responsibilty because he was irresponsible to start with.. UGh still makes me mad. And to the teacher. Are you freaking serious, she really doesn't get it does she. Don't get me wrong I've never been burned but I have been through tramatizing things by having my dad pass away, in my room, in my bed. And after psychiatrists and counciling it is still hard to watch movie or read anything about someone dying of cancer....so for a young person to be forced to read something that they are not ready for psychologically realllllly makes me mad and after you explaining she still doesn't change her mind. Ohh I would make a BIG fuss to the councelor and principal together. This wouldn't work for me and I know it doesn't for you because of your love for your kids and well being. I hope everything goes well with it and Baylor gets out of her class. I will be praying for Baylor and your friends family. It's crazy how I feel so connected to your family. Good luck. I will be waiting to see how it went.

 

[SoccerDogWithEars]

Some teachers.

I don't want to hijack your thread, but I have a favor/advice to ask from you. Saturday, a girl in my Bible Study was tailgating with her boyfriend's family, and her dress was blown into the propane grill they were using, and she now has second degree burns on the backs of her legs. While it is nowhere near what you and Baylor and your family went through, she's still understandably very shaken and confessed tonight to us that she can barely be alone now because she has panic attacks and flashes back to it. It is also her first semester at ECU, so she's under a lot of stress from that as well. I was just wondering if you or Baylor could possibly write something to her, or if I could give her your contact information, because none of us quite know what to do other than just offering our support, and I know that you will have just the right thing to say. Thanks, and lots of

 

[Dizneydawn]

Thanks for all the kind words of advice and support.

I did have a chat with Baylor's counselor and she will be addressing the teacher. I don't think that some people get that it was very traumatic and still is for him. My boss at the time and I talked a week after the burn and she asked where I was. When I said, "The Hospital!" She was shocked because she thought we would be home by then.

It is aggravating and I hate the position of not knowing how much to stand up for him and the balance of not wanting to be overprotective. I do not want day to day special treatment. I do not want Baylor always to be labeled, the burned kid but the reality is it will impact him for the rest of his life. Not always in negative ways because there is many positives that have came out from all this. It is just his reality and there is things he will be okay with and things he will not be and those can shift throughout his life.



Good news to share....

Carsyn got a call last night from Anderson University admissions and.....

She will be going to SC this fall!!!!!!!!!!

She is so excited and I am very proud of her. Straight A's this semester and she wants to keep that GPA up to maximize her scholarships! Such a smart girl and her eye is on the future! Now if I can only get that dedication to cleaning her room!

One of her first calls was to her brother and he congratulated her and said he was looking forward to having her around again! That is because he will be off campus and she on so they will not exactly be toe to toe!

BTW - The Anderson men's soccer team advanced to the National playoff's!

 

[tlenzendorf]

Great news for your older two!
For Baylor,if you haven't figured out the balance yet I'm sure you will. I bet he would let you know if he thought you were doing too much.
What great kids you have!


And by the way, if you figure out the room thing let me know!!

 

[Mndisneygirl]

YAY for Carsyn!!! I love that she called Treyner and he was happy for her! I'm sure they will have just enough space!
YAY for Treyner's soccer team!!
YAY for Baylor hopefully getting his needs addressed at school.

I think you are doing awesome! It's clear that he still needs you to step in sometimes, and when he doesn't, I'm sure he'll say so. Maybe he has a hard time having to talk to people about it, and he doesn't want to come across to others as looking for excuses. I'm sure it's a difficult position to be in - like some people have a hard time asking for help, even though they need it. As Mom, it's your job to do it when he can't or won't. Keep up the good work Dawn!!!

 

[Duchie]

Thanks for all the kind words of advice and support.

I did have a chat with Baylor's counselor and she will be addressing the teacher. I don't think that some people get that it was very traumatic and still is for him. My boss at the time and I talked a week after the burn and she asked where I was. When I said, "The Hospital!" She was shocked because she thought we would be home by then.

It is aggravating and I hate the position of not knowing how much to stand up for him and the balance of not wanting to be overprotective. I do not want day to day special treatment. I do not want Baylor always to be labeled, the burned kid but the reality is it will impact him for the rest of his life. Not always in negative ways because there is many positives that have came out from all this. It is just his reality and there is things he will be okay with and things he will not be and those can shift throughout his life.



Good news to share....

Carsyn got a call last night from Anderson University admissions and.....

She will be going to SC this fall!!!!!!!!!!

She is so excited and I am very proud of her. Straight A's this semester and she wants to keep that GPA up to maximize her scholarships! Such a smart girl and her eye is on the future! Now if I can only get that dedication to cleaning her room!

One of her first calls was to her brother and he congratulated her and said he was looking forward to having her around again! That is because he will be off campus and she on so they will not exactly be toe to toe!

BTW - The Anderson men's soccer team advanced to the National playoff's!

Wow that's great news for Carsyn. Congrats to her, and to Treynor!

 

[wigdoutdismom]

Congrats Carsyn! You are going to shine at Anderson!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Day9/10

After we left Biltmore Estate, we did stop at the shops they have on property that sell wines from their Vineyard and cheese mixes etc.

We also stopped at the swanky McD's to show Leah and grab a quick bite!

On our way to Knoxville, we saw these guys.

We made good time in getting to Knoxville. Shannon, Sam and the kids were gone but Susan and Caroline were there. We chatted for a long time about her teaching life and the racial issues she experienced as segregation came to a halt in her school district. I learned so much from her as usual!

We then were invited to go to dinner with them at a Mexican restaurant nearby. Great food and good friends make any dinner the best I think.

Susan talked about how she was trying to look at food as a medicine to fuel her body. She had lost a lot of weight in the few months since we had last seen her and when she ate her whole plate, it gave me hope she could fight this darn cancer that ravaged her body but not her spirit. It was hard to say goodbye that night. I think we all knew the reality was this would probably be the last time we saw her and saying our farewells was difficult.

She carried herself with grace and dignity and when I told her I hoped to see her soon, she looked at me with the wisdom of someone who knows that the odds of another meeting with someone who lives 20 hours away, were not good. The smile on her lips may have said, "I look forward to that," but the knowledge in her eyes was explaining what none of us wanted to admit.

I had seen that same look on my Grandmothers face when I sat on the floor by her bed, holding her hand an telling her how great it would be for her to see Treyner in soccer when she felt better. She told me she wished she could but that she would never see the outside of that room again.

I remember telling her that she could feel good again and that she did not know for sure.

She pulled my chin up and made me see her face and said, "I am sure Dawn."

I sit here typing this and cannot see the keyboard through my tears. I remember that October day like it was this morning and the pain I felt radiating through my heart was as strong then as the lonesomeness I still have for her now.

That was the same way Susan made someone feel. Like they had been blessed to know her and although you would always remember her fondly and often, there would never be anyone to fill that space in your heart again.

Some people say that time eases the pain of loosing a loved one and I agree. I also believe very strongly that I am glad there are pieces within me that misses desperately a loved one who has passed. For it means they made their imprint on my life and an imprint is not meant to be covered up or re-purposed. It is meant to be a reminder forever of what has come and gone and I am lucky enough to have had a few of those imprints in my lifetime. They made a difference. They mattered.

I know I posted these after Susan passed away but here again, is some pics from that day.

Susan is on the left, Caroline on the right.

Susan and Kizzy!

Shannon's cat checking out Kizzy!

Taking over Kizzy's kennel!

Shannon's beautiful home!

Torturing Kizzy with a fake mustache & nose!

Or glasses!

In the backyard at Shannon's! The cat is like..."Really? You call yourself a dog!"


Trampoline shots!

Shannon's cat threatening to use the hose on Kizzy!

We drove through the night after staying longer than planned. Dan needed to get back to work and Leah had band the next afternoon.

Leah charted our Day 10 from the back of the van!

We dropped of Dan at the hotel where we had left his car and he headed on to Des Moines while we went North back home.

There is not a lot to see in this part of Iowa.

The hay bales worked for Kizzy but not so much for Leah who thought she might explode if a bathroom was not found ASAP!

Then we found this treat:

They also were famous for a gas station with an inside bathroom!

Leah sprinted inside and I was soon after and to my surprise, Leah was not in line when a woman came out of the bathroom dedicated for women.

This meant she was in...

And when she came out...she knew she was busted!

Our last odd sighting on the way home was a lawn with all these little chairs.

Creepy and odd all at the same time!

We pulled into the driveway with a sigh of relief and sadness! Our trip was over but at least....Leah was missed at her house!

 

[MEK]

Hey Dawn,

I was seriously behind on this trip report and I'm not even sure how that happened.

First, I am so sorry about the loss of your friends' three boys. That is absolutely tragic and no words can ever express how deep that loss is.

Secondly, I am appalled that Baylor's teacher would not rescind on her insistence that Baylor read that book. Hasn't she ever heard of post traumatic stress? I really hope that situation was resolved to the best possible outcome. That's incredibly insensitive.

Third, congratulations to Carsyn on her acceptance to Anderson. That is awesome news and you must be so happy that she has selected her college for next year. The fact that she is a wonderful student must be so wonderful. Just sit back and wait to see the scholarship money. Ughhhhh....to be in you shoes when I am in just the opposite position where I will more than likely be throwing money out the window next fall. But I was advised by a counselor to let my son sink or swim, so there you have it!

Lastly,

Loved the last update and I have to say that Shannon's cat is really unique. I am glad you all got to visit with Susan and you have those last memories.

 

[Dizneydawn]

MEK -
Carsyn was always a better student than Treyner but the last two years, she is solid in the A category. She wishes she would have figured it out sooner but these last 2 years will help a ton. One of the scholarships for Anderson is based on where she will fall with her GPA at the end of this year. The minimum she can get based on her current GPA is like $6,000 and it will go up if she can push it up. She is taking yearbook though so she has 3 classes she gets no credit for to move up her GPA. Frustrating but with her love for photography, she enjoys it a ton!

Treyner's team ended up loosing last night. He was not in goal. So no more soccer for him till spring. He is changing majors again so I am totally in the, "How much did this cost me?" mentality for school too!

Baylor is doing fine. He has a few appointments coming up for his burn and then meeting with attorneys so I am not looking forward to reliving all this again. He is still a nut though. Last week he taped himself with some friends, eating a ghost pepper. The habenero from the week before was not enough! Crazy kid! When I asked him if he was not worried he might get hurt eating something so hot, he responded, "Cub Foods is not going to sell you something that will kill you so I figured the worst that would happen is I would have painful gut rot!"

I am the panicker, he rationalizes!

Now I need to start the new TR from Dan and my trip!

 

[tlenzendorf]

Now I need to start the new TR from Dan and my trip!

Yes! Anxiously awaiting!

 

[NancyLuvsMickey]

"Cub Foods is not going to sell you something that will kill you so I figured the worst that would happen is I would have painful gut rot!"

Smart kid, and he does have a point... Just never thought of it that way...

That's cool with Carsyn's gpa... I started "braining washing" my kids at an early age that if they can get academic scholarships to pay for their college education, they can have the college nest egg I've been saving for them to do whatever they want ~ car, house, tour Europe for a year...

And so far the oldest (she's a freshman in HS) is straight A's and she does all the extra credit in her classes too!!! One class she got 107% and the other was 103%... Works for me!!!

 

[SoccerDogWithEars]

Baylor's quote made me crack up. I spend most of time around boys, so I'm used to that mentality. Watched one of my friends chug a gallon of milk a few weeks ago...we have pictures of him drinking it, throwing up, finishing it, and throwing up again. It was actually pretty funny, because my friend Morgan was literally kneeling beside him to get the shots....and people here say VCM doesn't know how to have fun

Super congratulations to Carsyn. I, unfortunately, got my butt kicked by AP classes, so while I did stay in the top 10% of my class, it was not with straight A's. By any stretch of the imagination. And even though I did get substantial financial aid, it's still a squeeze to pay each semester. I know you probably have it worse being out of state, but NC college tuition has just gotten insane. And they raise it every year. Then of course, I found out that when they said "if you're used to making A's and B's in high school, it probably won't happen here"...they weren't lying. Obviously I've survived and am happily almost halfway through with my sophomore year, and lovin' ECU just as much as I did the day I got accepted. Good ole Greenville...where we arrest rappers that we paid to perform for smoking weed after the concert, take two years to not even finish construction on a mile of road, but have fancy mirrors in the stadium bathrooms so you can watch the game while washing your hands. Yep. We know our priorities.

 

[LisaKeys]

Hiya!

I am sorry for the loss of your friend Susan, and also the tragic accident and the loss of young lives.

I loved the chalk welcome - it must have put a smile on all of your faces.

I can hardly believe I've been following you since July. I believe your TR (older one) was the first TR for me here on the DISboards. Back then - I had over 6 months until our trip to WDW in January. Can you believe we're down to 55 days??? YIKES!

Looking forward to reading more of your newest TR.

 

[Pamlur]

Have I missed the beginning of a new trip report? If not, has anybody heard from Dawn? I have been worrying.