Its taken me awhile to get up the nerve to post this, but..

It's an 8 page thread now, I've only read the 1st page and the 8th page, so I'm sure the following has been posted at some point. But, just it case it hasn't:

1) Make copies of every single piece of financial documentation that exists. Insurance, credit cards, bank accounts, tax records, property records, anything and everything that has to do with your financial mariage from the day you said "I do".

2), Run your credit report with all three credit buearus. Make sure he hasn't taken out new accounts in your name that you don't know about. Then put a fraud aleart on your credit report, no new accounts can be opened (be sure you open anything you may need before you do this). Start getting him off as many accounts as you can that you hold jointly. Also run your kids credit reports and put a fraud aleart on them, I've heard of parents using their kids SS numbers to start opening accounts when they can open their own. Hopefully your ex isn't THAT big an SOB but why take the chance!

3) Get a lawyer, especially one with a nick-name of "pit bull" or something ;). Don't make any agreements about anything, let your lawyer and the courts decide who gets paid what, when, and how. Money is tight, I'm sure, but a good lawyer is worth their weight in gold, get the best one you can possibly afford.

4) File (or have ex file) ASAP, the sooner the law gets involved, the better. Plus the sooner you start, the sooner it's over with.

5) Get conseling for both you and your kids. My best friend's parents divorced when she was in jr. high. Her mom made her and her sister go to counseling but never went herself, and she really needed it! Almost 20 years later, she's STILL bitter. Don't let that happen to you!

I'm so sorry this is happening. If you ever need advice, just post here on the Dis, we've got your back! :hug:
 
I'm so sorry! :hug: My brother just went through this with is now ex-wife, she had a boyfriend. :rolleyes: Anyway, the courts will decide what he pays, not him. My brother pays child support, alimony and half of day care. He also pays for their health insurance. Here and hopefully there, it gets automatically deducted from his check and sent to her, so he has no choice but to pay.
 

There is nothing I can add, but just to say that I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I've seen the pictures of you and your precious girls, and I know you can stay strong for them. I has to be harder than anything you've ever done, but you WILL make it.

Huge hugs to you and the girls, take care of you,and get a lawyer ASAP!
 
Nothing to add but just wanted you to know that my prayers are with you and your babies.
 
I just saw this too. I read the 1st & last page. Could he be on drugs?:grouphug:
 
So sorry you and your girls have to go through this.

Like the others have said, get the best lawyer you can. Even if it means that you have to borrow money to pay legal fees. It WILL pay off in the long run. You don't want to be stuck with no alimony and the minimum child support.

Best wishes. Come visit here for support.
 
So far he is supporting us like usual but is already asking how soon we can get the heck out of HIS house so he can move back in. He is about to leave for a 6wk TDY but said we need to figure out where the girls and I will go when he gets back. Previously he'd said we had until Nov to make arrangements but now I think that isn't going to happen.

Ok, your soon to be ex is living in fantasy land. I am going to assume, that you own the house jointly?? Which means it is at least 1/2 yours. He can not throw you or the kids out. At this point if I was you, I would change the locks so he cannot get in while you are gone. Talk to an attorney, and get ready to put the house on the market. Sell the house and you will get your 1/2 at least, but all that will be determined by the courts. Get youself a GOOD lawyer. Make sure they are very experienced with family law.

Good luck!!!
 
:grouphug: I am so sorry for you... this could happen to any of us.. we are here to help.. take care of yourseld and the girls..:grouphug:
 
Interesting you pointed that out. It is odd. I wonder what is up with that?
Perhaps the OP can answer.


When my ex left me he did just that. got all detached fromt the kids and all. It was over a month before he ever even came into the house again once he decided to leave. He kept saying things that weren't even words I had heard him use before. I asked and asked if there was someone else and he always said no. Fast forward...not only someone but one of my friends. they are now engaged. (Great friend, huh?) But I really think they detach from the kids because of the guilt. My kids were so sad and didn't know what was going on. Also-he asked for the divorce so he paid for it all...lawyers and all. I didn't sign anything until he agreed to pay for everything.
Fast forward...I was so sad and didn't think I would ever be ok. I felt like I was mourning a death rather than a divorce because the man I loved wasn't even there anymore. It was like he had died or something.
Believe it or not-I am now so happy he left me!! my kids do wish we were together still but now i finally see things I didn't see when we were together. and I also have met a wonderful man. I was in college when he left and now have graduated and am going for my Masters now. When all those people told me I would be ok I didn't believe them...but they were right. Sure, this isn't the family I planned....it is even better.:goodvibes
 
Hey ya'll. I took the girls to the zoo today so I didn't read up on the thread until tonight. To hear everyones stories and all helps so much..I know that eventually things will work out and we'll get back on our feet/routine/etc, but the "unknown" is scary KWIM. I wanted to thank you again for the support and advice. I am taking it all in believe me. We don't own the house, just rent it. I am grateful that only his name is on the lease so that when we leave (and I will eventually) I am not responsible for it. I love the house but the rent is over 1000. and I just can't afford that alone. You know we almost bought a house, but I backed out last minute..I am grateful not to have that headache now. Besides my support system will be in Ocala. My aunt agreed to watch the girls/get Remy on/off the bus while I work and go to school PT so I can save on daycare fees (I hope to be able to make enough to give her something for doing this though she says not to). I am so grateful for my family, we have always been close and it is shown during something like this..like when I had to talk my cousins outta hunting HIM down like a rabid dog and..well..lets just say my cousins are a blood thirsty lot LOL.
 
Oh and tag fairy thank you for removing HIS tag! I hate losing a tag, but in this case its worth it LOL.
 
Okay i didnt read the whole thread but here are a couple of VERY important things to consider-if he is filing-or if you are for that matter-you may not be getting your divorce in Florida-since he is in the military you can also file in 1) the state you were married in or 2) the state where your home of record is-look carefully at the laws and file where its best for you.

When you Hire a lawyer-be SURE you get one who is well versed in military family issues or you will loose benefits to which you are entitled-since the marriage has lasted more than 10 years in some states you are entitled to a portion of his retired pay if he stays in 20 years-and your children should retain thier access to Tricare and other military benefits as long as he remain in the military-or until the age of 23 if he retires after a career.
 
I'm late to the thread, but it sounds to me like you've got a sane head on your shoulders and you've been given alot of good advice. More good wishes for you. :grouphug:
 
So sorry to hear this is happening to you and your children. As said though make sure you get a lawyer and don't let the scum get away with that. You and the little ones deserve better then that. :hug:
 
So sorry you and your girls are going through this. Sounds like you have a great support system.
 
Stay strong, Angela. Everything happens for a reason and it's usually a better reason than you could imagine while you're going through it.
 

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