It Truly was the Nightmare at Thanksgiving Disney Trip!- update 4/5 pg 10

[MeMom]

Rough start, for sure, but I am glad you kept going. Hopefully the good outweighed the bad when it was all said and done.

That's an awesome view from the room.

It's hard to be a kid these days. Soooo much peer pressure earlier and earlier to be 'tough' or what some kids consider 'cool'. I tell my students that it's so not cool to be anti-authority or anti-learning or to aggravate or bully people, and unfortunately, it's going to be too late for those kids one of these days when they are trying to be cool and it goes too far. Hopefully Jeremy will find comfort in his friends and have his good group of kids to hang out with and be involved with.

 

[merbobear]

I am subscribing! The "bumpiness" of your trip intrigues me...Don't get me wrong, I love the happy, shiny, bubbly perfection that a lot of TR's offer, but sometimes I'm like "Really...nothing annoying happened on your entire trip?" lol

I am absolutely disgusted by how your son's school handled the entire threat situation, but I am glad that you went to law enforcement and kept pushing the issue until the right thing happened (which should have happened in the first place!). Really...separating them and putting the "bad" kid (for lack of a better word) into a different room is a complete no brainer to me! I can't believe that they were basically acting like he was a poor victim and trying to protect him from needing to make new friends. Considering he was handing out a death threat to his current classmates, I doubt that friendship is the first of his worries. Furthermore, I hope that his parents are being proactive about getting their son some counseling as it seems he needs someone to talk to about his emotions and needs help figuring out how to become a normal teen.

I have to say, I wonder if this same situation happened TODAY, would it be taken more seriously? Everyone is on "high alert" now about guns & violence, I could see it become more of a situation where the child would have been removed from the school in handcuffs (which should have happened in the first place, imo!).

Sorry to go on and on..I am just flabbergasted at how they (mis)handled the situation. How is your son doing now? I'm sorry that he gets picked on..and I hope that it stops. My dd is about to be 5 and in our district's PreK program and there are "mean girls" already at that age. She often comes home and says that she has no friends and that kids are mean (upon talking to her teachers, she does have many friends, but I think what happens is one or two negative things happen during the day and she really lets that impact her entire view of the day). It breaks my heart so I can feel where you are coming from when kids are being mean to your ds.

Anyway, epic "I'm subscribing" post over, can't wait to read another update!

 

[Poolrat]

Joining in. On the road now so this will be short.


I just want to give both you and Jeremy a big for all that school drama.

I have had issues with both mine but nothing like that.

 

[PracPerfPatricia]

Erika,

I'm really glad to see you back and so glad you decided you to go a head and write this report...

I am absolutely enraged for you and Jeremy about that entire incident at school. I am enraged for all of us. It isn't ok for the teachers/administrators to ignore or make "light" of that kind of situation and it isn't a great environment for Jeremy to have to deal with on a daily basis -regardless of his size- he is a 5th grade boy...that's so young to deal with that cr*p... & the whole tragedy in in Connecticut makes that picture totally unacceptable...

As tiring as it is, I think you did the right thing... I also think that it's really important for you (as I'm sure you have) make sure Jeremy realizes what a great kid he is... You talked about scouts; any activity he loves that can be done in a group is a good opportunity to build his self esteem and make friends with like minded kids...

In the mean time... it sounds like your school administration needs some lessons not just on school safety issues but basic human decency as well... the messages for not tolerating those behaviors comes from the adults... that other kid obviously needs some intervention as well...

It's not ok for them to hope it goes away or ignore it... You are a great mom and awesome advocate... He is very luck to have you... He sounds like such a great kid and you have to know that he has a lot of gifts and ultimately he'll prevail...

Hugs for both of you...

 

[jeremysdisneymom]

Oh Erika! My heart just fell to the floor reading this. I can't even imagine going through that as a parent, or a child. I am shocked at the school's position to be honest. While I get that the other boy clearly needs help and nurturing, saying they'd move Jeremy and not him is frankly rewarding the behavior. Lord, if it were me I'd probably have been researching other schools, figuring out all my options instead of fighting it as you did and taking it to court. As brutal as this has been, Jeremy is truly blessed to have you as his mom and advocate.

Is this boy in scouts with Jeremy? While I could see scouts being beneficial for him I hope it's a different pack.

I am so glad that all of you, and the car were ok and Jeremy was able to get to his happy place. I know Eric gets picked on quite a bit as well, for different reasons but picked on nonetheless, and I do think that is part of his Disney obsession. It's such a safe, happy wonderful place. As an adult, with that hanging over you, oh, not a good start.

Lovely room though!

I'm here, and don't worry about sharing the good, the bad and the ugly. Life is all of that and even Disney can't always fix it much as we wish it could. I'm glad you are over your funk, and feel ok sharing your story.

I am truly the blessed one. Jeremy is a good kid and really doesn't give us much grief.

We contemplated changing school districts, even looked into it. I just didn't want Jeremy to get the message that this was okay. We had adamantly and very LOUDLY told the the administration that Jeremy would not be moving classes. In all honesty, our principal just doesn't get it. She actually told us that the kid was crying in her office that day and she thought he felt remorseful because he cried. She doesn't have kids of her own so she doesn't naturally grasp their antics I believe. If our old principal had been there it would have been dealt with immediately with a much harsher punishment that would have sent a message to all students that it wasn't tolerated.

The boy is not in scouts. He wanted to join in Sept but our group was only going to be cub scouts for 3 months and then were crossing over to boy scouts. He was supposed to call us in December to join. I think it was the parents intent for him to join us and that is why she asked how much we knew about the incident. I have checked with our council and we don't have to accept him since there are several troops in our area. I don't think they will ask to join in light of the court situation, but who know! People never cease to amaze me.

 

[jeremysdisneymom]

Rough start, for sure, but I am glad you kept going. Hopefully the good outweighed the bad when it was all said and done.

That's an awesome view from the room.

It's hard to be a kid these days. Soooo much peer pressure earlier and earlier to be 'tough' or what some kids consider 'cool'. I tell my students that it's so not cool to be anti-authority or anti-learning or to aggravate or bully people, and unfortunately, it's going to be too late for those kids one of these days when they are trying to be cool and it goes too far. Hopefully Jeremy will find comfort in his friends and have his good group of kids to hang out with and be involved with.

He did get better but there is still a lot of drama to come! Some days were much better than others. It is probably our most interesting trip to Disney.

I liked the view. So odd seeing hardly no one in the pool either. It sure wouldn't look that way at spring break or summer.

I truly don't know how you teachers do it. I am in awe at how you all keep it together with all the issues that go on in the classroom.

 

[jeremysdisneymom]

I am subscribing! The "bumpiness" of your trip intrigues me...Don't get me wrong, I love the happy, shiny, bubbly perfection that a lot of TR's offer, but sometimes I'm like "Really...nothing annoying happened on your entire trip?" lol

I am absolutely disgusted by how your son's school handled the entire threat situation, but I am glad that you went to law enforcement and kept pushing the issue until the right thing happened (which should have happened in the first place!). Really...separating them and putting the "bad" kid (for lack of a better word) into a different room is a complete no brainer to me! I can't believe that they were basically acting like he was a poor victim and trying to protect him from needing to make new friends. Considering he was handing out a death threat to his current classmates, I doubt that friendship is the first of his worries. Furthermore, I hope that his parents are being proactive about getting their son some counseling as it seems he needs someone to talk to about his emotions and needs help figuring out how to become a normal teen.

I have to say, I wonder if this same situation happened TODAY, would it be taken more seriously? Everyone is on "high alert" now about guns & violence, I could see it become more of a situation where the child would have been removed from the school in handcuffs (which should have happened in the first place, imo!).

Sorry to go on and on..I am just flabbergasted at how they (mis)handled the situation. How is your son doing now? I'm sorry that he gets picked on..and I hope that it stops. My dd is about to be 5 and in our district's PreK program and there are "mean girls" already at that age. She often comes home and says that she has no friends and that kids are mean (upon talking to her teachers, she does have many friends, but I think what happens is one or two negative things happen during the day and she really lets that impact her entire view of the day). It breaks my heart so I can feel where you are coming from when kids are being mean to your ds.

Anyway, epic "I'm subscribing" post over, can't wait to read another update!

So glad to have you here!

I should have mentioned earlier and totally forgot. Something major had happened at our high school while we were in Florida and we knew nothing about it when we had met with administration. The very next day after our meeting the word had finally gotten to the news in Cincinnati and Tom knew all about it when he went back to work. A 19 year old had a very detailed plan with a list and was planning to go into the high school. He had been expelled two years earlier for the very same thing but it too had never been reported to law enforcement and no parents were notified. The boy was holding a very BIG grudge against certain teachers in the schools. Tom said that he was not mentally stable and it could have been worse had a friend not tipped off law enforcement. Now, the judge did give the 19 year old bond which someone paid and he was arrested 2 days later as he had started another plan. I think I was even more furious with Jeremy's situation after we found out what was happening in the high school and the school administration was still blowing us off.

I know that in light of the tragedy in December, our local police department has put a policeman in both buildings each day. Teachers are now locking their classrooms and students are not allowed to be in the hallway without an adult. I also know that the school board is finally taking a proactive approach to dealing with these situations. We have had long talks with the two that voted in our favor and I do feel better that they are monitoring the situation.

I know what you mean about you DD. We used to have those days with Jeremy. Kids can really be mean to each other at times. It is very sad.

Really glad to have you here. Hope you enjoy!

 

[jeremysdisneymom]

Joining in. On the road now so this will be short.


I just want to give both you and Jeremy a big for all that school drama.

I have had issues with both mine but nothing like that.

I know you are on the road so you might not see this for a few days, but have fun!!! Good luck with your run!!!

Thanks for the hug!!! It has been a rough month but things are getting better and settlng down.

 

[jeremysdisneymom]

Erika,

I'm really glad to see you back and so glad you decided you to go a head and write this report...

I am absolutely enraged for you and Jeremy about that entire incident at school. I am enraged for all of us. It isn't ok for the teachers/administrators to ignore or make "light" of that kind of situation and it isn't a great environment for Jeremy to have to deal with on a daily basis -regardless of his size- he is a 5th grade boy...that's so young to deal with that cr*p... & the whole tragedy in in Connecticut makes that picture totally unacceptable...

As tiring as it is, I think you did the right thing... I also think that it's really important for you (as I'm sure you have) make sure Jeremy realizes what a great kid he is... You talked about scouts; any activity he loves that can be done in a group is a good opportunity to build his self esteem and make friends with like minded kids...

In the mean time... it sounds like your school administration needs some lessons not just on school safety issues but basic human decency as well... the messages for not tolerating those behaviors comes from the adults... that other kid obviously needs some intervention as well...

It's not ok for them to hope it goes away or ignore it... You are a great mom and awesome advocate... He is very luck to have you... He sounds like such a great kid and you have to know that he has a lot of gifts and ultimately he'll prevail...

Hugs for both of you...

Patricia, I am so glad you are here!

Jeremy is doing better and seems excited to go to school now. I can't say that he was in December. I know he was worried and has expressed us to different things that the other child would do that made him nervous. There were many times we thought of keeping him home. We would go to work and call each other wondering if we did the right thing sending him or not. It is a tough call to take a stand when it is your child in the line of fire.

I know that the few parents who knew about the situation and what we were going through have thanked us for taking the stand because so many parents don't. I have even had teachers thank us so I know the administrative environment cannot be good for them as well.

So glad to have all my dis friends.

If all goes well, I will have an update coming today with some good news for once!!!

 

[jeremysdisneymom]

I just want to tell all of you what an inspiration you have been to me this morning. I couldn't help but cry as I set at my desk reading your nice comments and words of support.

Tom and I didn't tell a lot of people what was going on. Some knew from their child being in class with Jeremy but it was really a handful of people that was close to us. We only told my parents as Tom didn't think it would bode well on his parent's health. They are much older and not in the best health, both physically and mentally.

It was nice to finally speak freely of what we had been going through and to know I was among friends---some really great Dis friends who totally get me and my addiction! Thank you for being there and taking time out of your busy days to lend me support.

Lots of hugs to all of you!!!

 

[MEK]

Thanks for the heads up! I'm here!

 

[Tinkerkell123]

Wow! I am so sorry about what happened to Jeremy and just stunned about the way the school handled that! Unbelievable... Looking forward to the rest of your TR and am glad you are already wanted to go back for a re-do!

 

[Marsheliz]

I am so sorry that you guys have had to deal with that. My children are only 4 and 15 months and that is something that I have worried about with them with bullying etc. when they get older.
Good job mama for not ignoring it!
Looks like you guys had a perfect view!

 

[eandesmom]

I just want to tell all of you what an inspiration you have been to me this morning. I couldn't help but cry as I set at my desk reading your nice comments and words of support.

Tom and I didn't tell a lot of people what was going on. Some knew from their child being in class with Jeremy but it was really a handful of people that was close to us. We only told my parents as Tom didn't think it would bode well on his parent's health. They are much older and not in the best health, both physically and mentally.

It was nice to finally speak freely of what we had been going through and to know I was among friends---some really great Dis friends who totally get me and my addiction! Thank you for being there and taking time out of your busy days to lend me support.

Lots of hugs to all of you!!!

Given what you've shared about the HS situation, even better that you fought for the district to address it. It sounds as if the administration needs to wake up, big time. While no one wants to believe that this is going on, or that it isn't just a joke, that kids just don't "get it" when they say stuff like that, the reality is showing us very different things. We need to find a balance of keeping our kids safe and helping those that need help, get help.

Do I necessarily think an officer at school is the right answer? No. But listening to our kids, taking what they say seriously and enforcing it goes a long long long way. I am still utterly shocked at the lax enforcement at levels in your district and saddened that it took a tragedy for them to begin to change ways but we can only hope that good ultimately comes out of the very bad. You made a difference Erika, in not only your child's life, but who knows how many. And equally as important, you taught Jeremy to fight for what's right, and not walk away.

 

[beachta1]

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to your son, hopefully your trip was a small getaway from all of the drama. I'm disappointing to hear how the school handled the situation considering how violent the note and picture were. There is no excuse for a child to behave that way and not be reprimanded for it.

I can't imagine how the parents of that child may be feeling, knowing that their son could have such awful behavior. Hopefully they care enough to fix the situation so it doesn't happen again...

 

[Ds4angels]

Funny I hardly ever read trip reports, but for some reason felt drawn to yours.
As a mom of twin boys who were bullied in school, my heart bleeds for you and what you all had to go through. I will say I am so happy you all followed through w/ this and your son is feeling better about school again.

 

[ChattaAlley]

I am just horrified at your pre-story. I was almost in tears. I get so infurriated when I hear stories about bullies. And I think you did the right thing about going to court and all. In this day and time what that kid did should have been taken as a threat and not swept under the rug. So I applaud you for doing what every parent should do. I am still mad and this wasn't even about me or anyone in my family. On a side note (and none of my business) have you ever thought about sending your son to karate lessons? I would think having some kind of knowledge about how to fight back or stand up for himself in a situation like this would give him the the self confidence he needs. I just want to give your son a hug . I know I get too involved .

Can't wait to read the rest of your story. I am hoping it got better.

 

[Lovemy3babes]

Hi! Do you mind a new reader?

You have a beautiful family! I'm sorry that such an awful thing happened to Jeremy. But it sounds like you are a wonderful advocate for your son. Most parents wouldn't have handled it as well, myself probably included.

I can understand why your trip got off on a crummy start. Life isn't perfect! Even if we are in the Happiest Place on Earth. I look forward to reading along.

 

[jeremysdisneymom]

Thanks for the heads up! I'm here!

So glad you are here Mary Ellen! You have my curiousity peeked over on your trip.

Wow! I am so sorry about what happened to Jeremy and just stunned about the way the school handled that! Unbelievable... Looking forward to the rest of your TR and am glad you are already wanted to go back for a re-do!

Thank you! It has been a rough month but things are looking up. There are a lot more bumps in this trip but we really did have a good time for the most part. Glad to have you here. Hope you enjoy it.

I am so sorry that you guys have had to deal with that. My children are only 4 and 15 months and that is something that I have worried about with them with bullying etc. when they get older.
Good job mama for not ignoring it!
Looks like you guys had a perfect view!

Thanks! It is one of the worst things that is going on in schools today. I wish there was a simple answer for it but there is not.

We did like the view. Did you notice the empty chairs at the pool below? So unlike summer.

 

[jeremysdisneymom]

Given what you've shared about the HS situation, even better that you fought for the district to address it. It sounds as if the administration needs to wake up, big time. While no one wants to believe that this is going on, or that it isn't just a joke, that kids just don't "get it" when they say stuff like that, the reality is showing us very different things. We need to find a balance of keeping our kids safe and helping those that need help, get help.

Do I necessarily think an officer at school is the right answer? No. But listening to our kids, taking what they say seriously and enforcing it goes a long long long way. I am still utterly shocked at the lax enforcement at levels in your district and saddened that it took a tragedy for them to begin to change ways but we can only hope that good ultimately comes out of the very bad. You made a difference Erika, in not only your child's life, but who knows how many. And equally as important, you taught Jeremy to fight for what's right, and not walk away.

Thanks Cynthia! I hope that if anything comes out of this with the school that they will make the changes and stick with them. They have a problem within their district that desperately needs changed on so many levels. The HS situation just shows you how bad it is and how worse it could have been. It seems that all they worry about is the state tests and achieving the desired rating. For so many of the students, the school is the only opportunity for them to learn structure and right and wrong. That is sad but so true and if they don't get it there, there are some that will never get it at home.

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to your son, hopefully your trip was a small getaway from all of the drama. I'm disappointing to hear how the school handled the situation considering how violent the note and picture were. There is no excuse for a child to behave that way and not be reprimanded for it.

I can't imagine how the parents of that child may be feeling, knowing that their son could have such awful behavior. Hopefully they care enough to fix the situation so it doesn't happen again...

You know, after we got on the ship, we really did forget about it (for the most part) until the long drive home. There was other things that happened to give us worry or help us forget.

I really hope the boy's parents are getting him the help he needs. They supposedly are. He desperately needs the help.

Funny I hardly ever read trip reports, but for some reason felt drawn to yours.
As a mom of twin boys who were bullied in school, my heart bleeds for you and what you all had to go through. I will say I am so happy you all followed through w/ this and your son is feeling better about school again.

I feel for your boys and for you. It is such a hard thing to watch your child go through this.

So glad you are here.

I am just horrified at your pre-story. I was almost in tears. I get so infurriated when I hear stories about bullies. And I think you did the right thing about going to court and all. In this day and time what that kid did should have been taken as a threat and not swept under the rug. So I applaud you for doing what every parent should do. I am still mad and this wasn't even about me or anyone in my family. On a side note (and none of my business) have you ever thought about sending your son to karate lessons? I would think having some kind of knowledge about how to fight back or stand up for himself in a situation like this would give him the the self confidence he needs. I just want to give your son a hug . I know I get too involved .

Can't wait to read the rest of your story. I am hoping it got better.

That is so funny that you mentioned karate. We did look into it once. He went to some preview sessions but in the end didn't like it. He is pretty active in scouts and 4-h so we never pushed the issue.

So glad you are here! And no, you were not too involved!

Hi! Do you mind a new reader?

You have a beautiful family! I'm sorry that such an awful thing happened to Jeremy. But it sounds like you are a wonderful advocate for your son. Most parents wouldn't have handled it as well, myself probably included.

I can understand why your trip got off on a crummy start. Life isn't perfect! Even if we are in the Happiest Place on Earth. I look forward to reading along.

I love having new readers!!!

Thank you. I just did what most parents would for their child. It has been rough but we are much better.

The trip will get better but there are some more bumps along the way.

Glad to have you here.