Is your mom...

[minnie mum]

Absolutely not, in fact I don't want my mom to be my friend. IMO that so degrades the relationship.

My mom is sooo much more than a friend.

I feel exactly this way. And I hope that my children feel this way about me, too.

 

[Arielle22]

Absolutely not, in fact I don't want my mom to be my friend. IMO that so degrades the relationship.
Now some times she fulfills some of those roles but there is never a moment where I want her to be a "friend".

I also tell my kids, I am not their friends and never will be.

My mom is sooo much more than a friend.

I agree. My mom died 17 years ago but when she lived and we talked, I always remembered she was my mom. I was respectful and bit my tongue where I wouldn't with a friend.

I tell my daughters that I don't want to be their friend, I want to be their mom. Just because someone reaches adulthood doesn't change that. They will always be my little girls and I always want to be someone they can turn to.

 

[Julie*]

I absolutely adore my mother and we are very close but there are many things I don't share with her that I would a "best friend" because she's my mother! She and my Dad have my back like no one else and that is very special since they also portray the same thing to my DH and our kids.
My sister is my best friend- we talk about everything from sex to the kids to work stuff and sometimes even complain about our parents to each other. LOL
DH is my best friend too of course but my sister is the one who fulfills a different kind of need- Thankfully, DH gets that as he is the same way with his brother.

 

[meajuly5]

My mom was definitely my best friend. I would say we got the closest when she moved around the block from me. I was 32. Sadly she was diagnosed with cancer right after that and then passed a year and a half later. The time she was sick was surprisingly when we were the closest. We left nothing unsaid. It's been 2.5 years and I still miss her everyday.

So sorry. Glad you had that time together before she was ill

 

[Dizneefamily+4]

Sadly, my mom and I were NOT bffs. We butted heads every time we were in the same zip code. I live about 150 miles away from where I grew up and we got along tremendously better over the phone - mostly because I could hang up when she began aggravating me. I always wanted a close relationship with my mom, but it just wasn't there - the same for my brother and sister and our mom and among us siblings. We just aren't close. My mom actually passed away totally unexpectedly on Mother's Day 2009. I'm mostly sad that she doesn't get to see her amazing grandchildren grow up. I miss the idea of my mom, but not the disaster that our relationship was.

I pray that I my dd8 thinks of me as a friend (but still her mom) when she's an adult. So far so good in that department!

 

[kkandaj]

No, my mom is not my friend. I love her but don't enjoy her a a friend type. She is critical of everything and has tried to overstep her bounds at times.

Truth be told of she was not my mom I would not want to spend time with her.

I could've written this myself. She will do anything for me--but strings are always attached and she does things because she's codependent. Oversteps her bounds constantly.

Seriously--I'm 34 and I don't want to tell my mom I'm going on a girl's trip to Chicago because I already know how negative she'll be and have a pity party for herself. She drains me. Actually makes me very sad, but it has always been this way.

I strive to be a different kind of mother to my daughter.

 

[kittengal13]

My mum is truly my best friend in the whole world Don't get me wrong, we annoy each other sometimes and do have fall outs, but they are never major and do not happen often

 

[CupcakeKelly]

I could've written this myself. She will do anything for me--but strings are always attached and she does things because she's codependent. Oversteps her bounds constantly.

Seriously--I'm 34 and I don't want to tell my mom I'm going on a girl's trip to Chicago because I already know how negative she'll be and have a pity party for herself. She drains me. Actually makes me very sad, but it has always been this way.

I strive to be a different kind of mother to my daughter.

Are you my long lost sister?

There are certain things that my mom and I do together, but she is definitely not a friend. I can't even tell her about some positive things that happen in my life because she turns it around into a pity party for herself. My brother made the mistake of telling her how much he got for a Christmas bonus from work one year, and she complained to me about how "it must be nice, my work doesn't do anything like that for me"

It used to make me really upset and I spent a ton of energy wishing things were different. Not long ago I just came to a realization that I need to accept her for what she is and not begrudge her for what I wish she would be. I know there are parts of my life I can share with her, but others that I can't. Thank goodness I have my brother to share those joys with

 

[luvsJack]

Like others have said, she is more than friend. She is my mom and she has always been there for me and for my kids. I have always (even as a teen and we weren't always getting along so well) been able to go to her about everything.

She is getting on in age now and sometimes gets confused and can be exasperating at times; but she is still my mom and will always be on that pedestal to me.

 

[moon]

1) yes

2) I don't remember...sometime in my 30's

 

[kkandaj]

Are you my long lost sister?

There are certain things that my mom and I do together, but she is definitely not a friend. I can't even tell her about some positive things that happen in my life because she turns it around into a pity party for herself. My brother made the mistake of telling her how much he got for a Christmas bonus from work one year, and she complained to me about how "it must be nice, my work doesn't do anything like that for me"

It used to make me really upset and I spent a ton of energy wishing things were different. Not long ago I just came to a realization that I need to accept her for what she is and not begrudge her for what I wish she would be. I know there are parts of my life I can share with her, but others that I can't. Thank goodness I have my brother to share those joys with

Maybe our moms are long lost sisters!

I'm working on the acceptance of her being who she is--and me no longer walking on eggshells regarding how she feels I should be living my life.

 

[carobear]

Not my best friend - but we get along okay.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

My mother was my best friend in the world. I loved her so much and could tell her anything. We got along so well I chose to live with her and share the bills rather than go out on my own.

It's funny, because growing up she always said to me, "I'm not your friend, I'm your mother. Someday I'll be your friend, but not now. You need me to be a parent now." At the time she was saying this to me I remember thinking 'I'll never choose to be your friend' because I was a mouthy know-it-all teenager. But after I grew up and she saw me as an adult, we just got so much closer.

I think we were closest after she was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2000. I was working from home at the time and she was home on disability on and off so we were like two peas in a pod. I went with her to her chemo treatments and doctor's appointments, and when she was in the final stages of the illness I was her caregiver. The last six months of her life were the most difficult I have ever faced, and the most blessed. I would never trade them, not for anything.

 

[Wendy31]

No, DH is my best friend followed by my sister.

My mom & I talk frequently - less frequently than we used to, & I value her support. I know she loves me, & I love her. I am thankful & grateful for the sacrifices she & my dad made for me & my sister while we were growing up.

On the surface, yes, we're probably "friends," & we do things together. I ask her for advice on "superficial" things. She likes to shop & browse, while I don't, but, many times, I'll ask her to go with me to the mall whenever I'm looking for something because I know she enjoys it. We vacation with my parents sometimes.

However, our relationship is also complicated - not to her, but to me.

I harbor a lot of bitterness & resentment towards her for some things, yet, at the same time, I love her & am very grateful for her.

She's judgmental & very passive-aggressive. She was always impatient & yelled a lot when I was growing up. She's much nicer & more patient now - she also much more "fragile" now, emotionally, mentally, & physically. While to everyone who knows her, she is a wonderful mother & grandmother, there are some things from when I was growing up that still affect me - how I view myself, how I parent, etc.

She also uses her grandchildren & gets a high from being the #1 grandparent (even over my dad) in their lives. She has no life except for her grandchildren.

I don't say anything to her, because, at this point, there's really nothing that could be done that could change things, if that makes sense. However, sometimes, I'd love to talk to a therapist or someone just to come to peace w/ my "mother-daughter" issues in my own head.

 

[MichelleVW]

My mom is my mom, my husband is my husband, my sister is my sister, not friends in my opinion. They are so much more than friends.

 

[luvmy3jewels]

My mother is definitely not a friend in any way to my sister and I. She has always been very self-centered and jealous of her children or anyone else that she perceives as having something she doesn't. Several years ago I attempted to develop a closer relationship with her, as much for the sake of my children as myself. However, I quickly realized that I will never have that kind of relationship with her. It makes my sister and I both very sad that we never had the kind of mother that everyone wants to have.

My mother-in-law, on the other hand, is one of my best friends and I consider her much more of a mother to me than my own. I have been very blessed to have her in my life and I hope that I am as good a mom to my kids and their spouses as she is!

 

[mom2boys77]

I already responded but just wanted to say how sorry I am. This was exactly how my mom and I were. The cancer diagnosis forced us in a way to forget any b.s and focus on what really mattered.

My mother was my best friend in the world. I loved her so much and could tell her anything. We got along so well I chose to live with her and share the bills rather than go out on my own. It's funny, because growing up she always said to me, "I'm not your friend, I'm your mother. Someday I'll be your friend, but not now. You need me to be a parent now." At the time she was saying this to me I remember thinking 'I'll never choose to be your friend' because I was a mouthy know-it-all teenager. But after I grew up and she saw me as an adult, we just got so much closer. I think we were closest after she was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2000. I was working from home at the time and she was home on disability on and off so we were like two peas in a pod. I went with her to her chemo treatments and doctor's appointments, and when she was in the final stages of the illness I was her caregiver. The last six months of her life were the most difficult I have ever faced, and the most blessed. I would never trade them, not for anything.

 

[shortbun]

My mom was always Mom. We weren't friends but we were friendly and had really established a very nice Mother/Daughter relationship based in love.

 

[CaliBear]

My mother and I were best friends. I miss her so much, every day.

 

[MulingAround]

My mamma has been there for everything!
Love you moms!