Is this a new Christmas trend on gift giving ?

[msjprincess]

I've never heard of it before now.

 

[U2_rocks!]

I’ve never heard of this until now but I like it! 4 gifts is more than enough.

I've heard of it, but I agree with you that 4 gifts is plenty. They get gifts from other people as well, some of whom we can influence (my parents especially), so if there are more things that they want someone else can buy them. From us they get one gift (usually), a Santa gift, a stocking and something from the pets (in different combinations depending on how many individual things we have found to buy for them). e.g. some years the pets get together and buy one thing each, other years the cats buy one and the dogs buy another. lol (it is always fun making the gift tags ...). Then they get from my parents, brother, uncle, best friend, their school friends etc. It adds up to quite a bit in the end, so they are FAR from deprived.

 

[aunties]

My niece did this for us last year. We thought it was a cute idea. I am going to do this for my new great-nephew with a little twist (because I can't help myself). There will be a box for want, a box with at least a couple of books, a box with a couple of outfits (mostly handmade), and an envelope with a need - a check to be added to his college fund.

 

[AuntieMe3]

Some seem to be caught up on the "need". Maybe I buy differently but when I think of buying something the kids "need" it's something that it's a bit more than what I would usually buy. Like Dd a pair of Miss Me jeans or dgd needs boots so a pair of Uggs. Or Dd and Dil may get Urban Decay because they need eye shadow. Or like others have said, a lap top or major electronic. Someone almost always gets a new phone. I do get shampoos, tooth paste, etc for stocking stuffers but it's usually high quality items.

If I buy a Christmas present that is something to read it's a special book. For Dd, a entire series that she has been wanting. Or for DS a book he has been searching for that I found at a little out the way book store. Or for any of them a book by a local author.

The one that has "something to share", to me would be a game to play with family or friends.

Exactly...one year my daughter got a laptop for her "need"....she wasn't asking for it but her current one was getting a little worse for wear so we got her a new one before the old one took a dump.

My daughter is an only...she is and has been plenty spoiled year round so at Christmas time she doesn't need a billion gifts...like I said we do this and she still gets more than one gift per category. It's just fun thing to mix up gift giving.

 

[mousefan73]

Nope will not do it.. I reserve my right to spoil my kids and go crazy nuts in supporting our economy.
I feel like people who say they do this are promoting their self rightousness. I can spoil my kids with gifts and still not spoint THEM.

I want my tree to look like all those in the movies.. Boxes and boxes and boxes... I save all my boxes in wrap everything. The amount of money I spend has nothing to do with it.. I love wrapping each gift and spend time doing it.. I will by a pair of fun socks. ( last year DS got monorail ones I got in WDW in the summer). I packed them in a HUGE box weighted with old books....

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Nope will not do it.. I reserve my right to spoil my kids and go crazy nuts in supporting our economy.
I feel like people who say they do this are promoting their self rightousness. I can spoil my kids with gifts and still not spoint THEM.

I want my tree to look like all those in the movies.. Boxes and boxes and boxes... I save all my boxes in wrap everything. The amount of money I spend has nothing to do with it.. I love wrapping each gift and spend time doing it.. I will by a pair of fun socks. ( last year DS got monorail ones I got in WDW in the summer). I packed them in a HUGE box weighted with old books....

I have a sweatshirt that says, "I'm not spoiled, my husband just loves me."

I feel the same way about our son. He isn't spoiled, we just love him.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I have a sweatshirt that says, "I'm not spoiled, my husband just loves me."

I feel the same way about our son. He isn't spoiled, we just love him.

Please don't equate gifting with love. Plenty of parents love their children but can't afford to shower them in presents. Conversely, my own parents were crap parents but, because they're narcissists, they piled an obscene number of gifts under the tree so everyone could see how rich and indulgent they were. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, they treated their child horribly.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Please don't equate gifting with love. Plenty of parents love their children but can't afford to shower them in presents. Conversely, my own parents were crap parents but, because they're narcissists, they piled an obscene number of gifts under the tree so everyone could see how rich and indulgent they were. Meanwhile, behind closed doors, they treated their child horribly.

This is so funny, I counted down to see how quickly someone was going to comment on that.

I almost put a caveat on my post but I figured that it would be much more fun to watch everyone jump.

 

[marlynnp]

I first heard of this on the DIS 15+ years ago. Not our thing, but you do you.

We did do only 3 Santa gifts and the rest were from us and whoever else bought presents.
I personally hate the "Oh, Santa left some of your presents here at our house" thing that some people have their relatives do.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

This is so funny, I counted down to see how quickly someone was going to comment on that.

I almost put a caveat on my post but I figured that it would be much more fun to watch everyone jump.

Oh. See, if I'm posting something that I think might be ambiguous, inflammatory, controversial or taken the wrong way, I make an effort to express myself as clearly as possible so no one misunderstands my point (sometimes easier said than done). I don't rile up message boards for "fun" so I didn't realize that's what you were doing. I thought perhaps you didn't stop to think how your comment could be hurtful to anyone reading along who already feels bad that they can't do more for their kids' Christmas, and I just wanted to help you understand that. My bad.

 

[luvsJack]

Nope will not do it.. I reserve my right to spoil my kids and go crazy nuts in supporting our economy.
I feel like people who say they do this are promoting their self rightousness. I can spoil my kids with gifts and still not spoint THEM.

I want my tree to look like all those in the movies.. Boxes and boxes and boxes... I save all my boxes in wrap everything. The amount of money I spend has nothing to do with it.. I love wrapping each gift and spend time doing it.. I will by a pair of fun socks. ( last year DS got monorail ones I got in WDW in the summer). I packed them in a HUGE box weighted with old books....

Well, I spoil my kids and my grandkids too. When the kids were young enough for visits from Santa, it did mean 7 or 8 gifts each at least from Santa and another several from me and DH. Now, I spoil the grandkids but I am starting to learn that my money is better spent on experiences rather than a multitude of gifts. When kids get so much that they don't even remember what they have, its time to cut back and figure out another way to spoil them. Not self righteous at all, just lessons learned.

 

[mousefan73]

Well, I spoil my kids and my grandkids too. When the kids were young enough for visits from Santa, it did mean 7 or 8 gifts each at least from Santa and another several from me and DH. Now, I spoil the grandkids but I am starting to learn that my money is better spent on experiences rather than a multitude of gifts. When kids get so much that they don't even remember what they have, its time to cut back and figure out another way to spoil them. Not self righteous at all, just lessons learned.

I agree with your points... We have cut back as it did get crazy, when they were little it did get a bit insane where honestly I could have re-wrap some gifts and re-gifted next year and they wouldn't have known... Now they are older and have everything they need and want and we tend to focus also on experiences.. but I also gift wrap these. Last year son got concert tix... I wrapped them in a huge box filled with toilet paper.. was hilarious to film... But I also give the most silliest things as "gifts"... I collect wierd stuff over the year and save for Xmas.. By righteous I meant I have heard from some people I know who do this but are very strict about it.. As if limiting 4 items is the magic number to raising a perfect, caring, non-spoiled kid that Appreciates things.. and then tells you your kids may have a problem as you "spoil" them... Just my experience.

and I hope that people do not feel that the lack of resources or gift is a reflection of their love.. etc... as PP stated parents can spoile with stuff and not love..

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Oh. See, if I'm posting something that I think might be ambiguous, inflammatory, controversial or taken the wrong way, I make an effort to express myself as clearly as possible so no one misunderstands my point (sometimes easier said than done). I don't rile up message boards for "fun" so I didn't realize that's what you were doing. I thought perhaps you didn't stop to think how your comment could be hurtful to anyone reading along who already feels bad that they can't do more for their kids' Christmas, and I just wanted to help you understand that. My bad.

The problem is, everything seems to be taken wrong. Even something like this.

I never said that money means love. Or that giving gifts is love. I never said that people that can't afford numerous gifts didn't love their children. Instead you insinuated that.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

The problem is, everything seems to be taken wrong. Even something like this.

I never said that money means love. Or that giving gifts is love. I never said that people that can't afford numerous gifts didn't love their children. Instead you insinuated that.

You were equating spoiling with love and I was saying those two things have little to do with one another. There are many reasons a parent may not be able, or may not want, to spoil their child and it doesn't mean they love them any less. By the same token, a huge showing of gifts doesn't indicate love either. I just felt that was an important distinction to make. That's all.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

You were equating spoiling with love and I was saying those two things have little to do with one another. There are many reasons a parent may not be able, or may not want, to spoil their child and it doesn't mean they love them any less. By the same token, a huge showing of gifts doesn't indicate love either. I just felt that was an important distinction to make. That's all.

You are equating spoiling with purchasing gifts. Or spending a lot of money.

The poster that I quoted said that it isn't the money. That she likes lots of boxes so that it looks like a tree on a TV show. She then spoke of spoiling.

I'm sorry that your parents equated love with purchased gifts, as you said. And I'm sorry that you have a problem with me saying that my husband effectively spoils me because he loves me. But spoiling doesn't have to mean purchased gifts. Sometimes it just means breakfast in bed. Or hot chocolate and fire when you are feeling down. At least it does to us.

 

[HM]

This is the first I've heard of it.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

You are equating spoiling with purchasing gifts. Or spending a lot of money.

The poster that I quoted said that it isn't the money. That she likes lots of boxes so that it looks like a tree on a TV show. She then spoke of spoiling.

I'm sorry that your parents equated love with purchased gifts, as you said. And I'm sorry that you have a problem with me saying that my husband effectively spoils me because he loves me. But spoiling doesn't have to mean purchased gifts. Sometimes it just means breakfast in bed. Or hot chocolate and fire when you are feeling down. At least it does to us.

Fair enough. The PP with whom you agreed specifically mentioned spoiling with gifts, and the topic of this thread is about limiting gifts to a certain number, so I'm sure you can understand how I got the impression that's what you were talking about.

 

[scrapquitler]

A few of my local Facebook groups for moms have been talking about gifts.
The majority said that they follow the 4 gift rule. 1 gift that is a want , 1 that's a need, 1 something to wear and 1 something to read.

I have never heard of this before.

My kids would think that I forgot to go shopping.

 

[wenrob]

My kids would think that I forgot to go shopping.

 

[22Tink]

I’ve never heard of this either. I enjoy getting my kids things they’ve asked for at Christmas. Santa fills the stockings and the presents are from us. I have a dollar amount per kid and try to stick to it.