Is there a word for mothers like this?

[grinningghost]

In the doctor's waiting room today. Mom enters with 2 kids, boy age 5, girl age 3ish.

They start playing with the waiting room toys, and then fight over one of the toys.

Mom starts with "Noah, you are not to argue with your sister. Mommy is sick today and I will not listen to you fighting".

Then it moves on to "Noah, sit down! I will NOT have you behaving this way in public!"

Now Noah is crying like a banshee, begging to play with the toys, promising he'll be good.

Instead of giving the kid another chance to behave and in the process, BE QUIET, she forces him to sit until they're called in. A semi-long wait.

I can understand discipline, and good behavior in public, but when the punishment infringes on everyone else in the room, it makes me nuts.

 

[Stitchfans]

Sick or not, she shouldn't expect everyone else to have to listen to her son crying like that. If he was having a problem behaving she should of either given him another chance, or she should have read a book to him or something.

 

[True North]

human?

I just know sometimes when I am sick enough to go see a doctor I am not always the nicest of people, and don't always follow the most common sence.

 

[canwegosoon]

stressed or tired...I think she would have left the kids with someone if she had other choices(eg. family or friend). But the sad truth is many people are out there doing it on their own...

 

[gallaj0]

Why does she have to give in to her kid?

By setting a punishment, then backing down to "give them another chance" you have just taught your child that you make empty threats, and can be bullied by a child. It doesn't matter where it happens, the child doesn't care where they are.

And maybe if she was relaly sick and not up to the fight with the child, she just couldn't get back into the referee job between the kids.

 

[minkydog]

overwhelmed. I have had to take one (or all three!) kids with me to the doctor before and I hope people realized that I had no other choice.

 

[krystyana]

i'm not sure i see what's wrong with how she handled it...If she had given in and allowed him to go back and play she would have reinforced his bad behavior, and reading stories or playing with him would have rewarded the bad behavior. She couldn't really leave with him and remove him from the situation as she was the one who needed to see the doctor. Guess I just don't see how see handled it as inappropriate, but then I have a 4 year old who has thrown a few over the top tantrums in his day and guess I sympathize with her.

 

[DisneyPhD]

human?

I just know sometimes when I am sick enough to go see a doctor I am not always the nicest of people, and don't always follow the most common sence.

Agreeed. She is sick and having a hard day. Instead of judging people could be trying to help (smile at the kid, offer a distraction, or to read them a book etc....) Remember the OJ comerical where the women makes a paper airplane for the restless child on a subway.

We are so fast to judge today. Especailly other parents. It isn't an easy job. I am a good parent and I know I am not always the best one I can be, especailly when I am sick. My poor DD when I was pregnant and ill for months. It was all I could do to play with her 5 min at a time once or twice a day. She wacthed way to much T.V. and I know it.

I also agree with gallaj0, how is giving into a temper tandrum going to help anything?

 

[lulugirl]

I prefer to see the situation you described than a parent who refuses to discipline his/her child.

 

[Aidensmom]

Kids have a wide range of personalities. If this was a child who is usually well behaved in public, and it usually just takes a couple of warnings to get them to behave, then giving them another chance would have been appropriate. If it is a child that constantly tests his limits though, another chance can be a big step backwards. You'd have been listening to my child cry too. I'd rather have complaints about my crying toddler now than my juvenile delinquent teenager later down the road.

 

[Beth76]

I'm willing to cut anyone a break who is not feeling well.

 

[wvjules]

I don't see what the problem is?!?!?!

From the title of your thread I was expecting child abuse, not a punishment by sitting in a chair that was actually followed through.

 

[disykat]

I prefer to see the situation you described than a parent who refuses to discipline his/her child.

Me too!

 

[xCourxCorex]

c'mon, Mom, let Noah play with the toy !

 

[inaminute]

Bravo to that Mom! Finally, a parent who apparently believes in being consistent and doesn't give in to their child's every whim! If I'd been there I would have made sure Mom knew she was doing the right thing.

 

[mommaU4]

I agree with all the posts.

She did the hardest thing of all.....she stuck to her decision. Good for her.

I remember one time in Target when DD was about 3 and right as we were getting ready to get in the checkout lane she saw a toy she had to have. Started screaming and crying when we said no. It was only a $4 toy and it would have been easy to say fine here, but when we say no once we can't give in.

I told DH to take her out to the car while I paid. She cried and screamed the whole way out the store. I was almost in tears because everyone was staring. Then the lady in front of me turned around and said "I just wanted to say you did a good job of handling that. It's not easy to say no and stick with it."

OMG, I could've kissed her!!! Maybe next time in a situation like that you could say a few kind words to the mom. I'm sure she'd appreciate it.

 

[WIcruizer]

Maybe I'm missing something, it sounds like she handled it perfectly. Nothing was mentioned about yelling, hitting, etc. She calmly gave a couple of warnings, and then there were consequences for the bad behaviour. Perfect. So often a situation like that would result in yelling "syop that" over and over and over again.

 

[Marseeya]

I think she did the right thing, but feeling ill or no, she should have taken him away if he couldn't settle down. I'm sure there were others in the waiting room who were sick and didn't feel up to dealing with an obnoxious kid.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

That's a good point Marseeya. There were probably others around who were sick too and didn't feel like listening to her kid cry.

Also, I'd like to point out that sometimes there is more going on than meets the eye to situations and it's easy to rush to judgement. I've been on the receiving end of tons of judgement personally and it's never fun.

My son has a disability, but you'd never know it to look at him. He looks perfectly typical, but once he talks you know there's something up with him. I pretty much have no one to rely on for sitters so I have to take my kids with me most places. Maybe the mom was using a kind of behavioral technique with her son and she was following through with it. I guess I can see both sides of the issue.

 

[Jennifer S]

I prefer to see the situation you described than a parent who refuses to discipline his/her child.