Is private school worth it?

[bumbershoot]

Word that!

And further..."and "follow the pack" mentalities are formed"... From watching the interactions of my 6 year old in his homeschool PE class, other classes at the Y, and just dealing with his friends, I would say that following the pack can start that young. HOWEVER, in middle and high school is when those mentalities get more dangerous. Right now, he's just going to let kids push him around a little while playing catch...it'll be different when he's 14.

That said, I was in (public) elementary school with 3 boys who were "stoners" in 5th grade! And in that same grade was when SOME people started smooching a little bit. But I have NO doubt that the kids in the religious schools were doing the same...after all, all the "dirty" jokes we giggled about were brought to us from kids who went to Sunday School....

And since the OP brought up money, I'd like to make two small points:

Depending upon your financial situation, will you be stretching your budget to make this happen? It sounds like there are additional costs for field trips and "mandatory donations." Think long and hard if your child will be the "poorest" one in the class. Values aside, it can really impact kids if all of their friends have something and they do not.

As a poor kid in public school, I can definitely say it's hard to be the poor one. I don't remember anyone teasing about it, but as the one wearing the basic clothes with no nice labels (my brother was lucky, as his best friend was bigger than him AND was rich, and his friend's mom gave my mom her son's old clothes...so my brother had OP and Polo etc etc shirts, lucky kid) I remember feeling very very left out.

My district was rated top in the state and the academics were excellent. The problem was my district also had a lot of families that were very wealthy and did not display the sort of values I want my children to have.

My question is...why would this be *better* in a place where you have to have the money to PAY for the education? Won't it be *worse*?

 

[TerrytownGrl]

Where we live, the public schools are very poor. Our parish (county) public schools rank 64th out of 70 school districts. Our newspaper further reports that our parish (county) has the highest percentage of children attending NON PUBLIC schools in the nation (about 40%).

Having said that, my dd attends a Catholic elementary school and plans to attend an all-girls Catholic High school. Because the public schools are lacking in our area, we have a pretty diverse student body. There are Hispanic, African American and Vietnamese students as well as Caucasian students in our school.

As far as designer clothes and shoes go, almost all schools in our area wear uniforms - public, private and parochial. This cuts down on the clothing snobbery.

We have no regrets about sending our dd to Catholic school. Another pp said you must look at things on a school by school situation. I agree.

 

[princessmom29]

totally worth it for us. Our public schools are not terrible, but DD had 15 kids in her K class this year. Public school average was 26 with no aide. Her school goes out of it's way to make everyone feel welcome, and bullying and cliques are NOT tolerated, period. They make it very clear very early on that it is expected that everyone be treated with respect. They mix up classes yearly so that the same 4-5 girls are not always together, ect.
It is not so much that the academics are vastly different at the elementary level, but it is all of the extra things that she gets. There are no sports opportunities before middle school in public schools. CYO sports start in 2nd grade. DD gets art, music, computer, and foreign language once a week. All of these have been cut in public schoos. She will get daily recess and PE through 5th grade. There is no recess anymore in public school. The most overwhelming thing however, is the sense of community at her school. If she is sick someone is calling to check on her, and not just form the school. Whatever mom is volenteering that day tends to notice and call as well. They really care about the kids and what is going on with them. The headmaster knows the names of the kids when he passes them in the halls.

 

[gk90]

Very much worth it for our family. DH and I both teach in public schools, and even though our school district is decent, we like the values foundation that our kids get at their private (Catholic) school.

My daughter started off in public school for pre-K and K. One day I was waiting outside with the other parents while the 2 pre-K and K classes formed a line to go in the building. I heard a number of the kids chanting and yelling "LIAR LIAR" at another kid and looked at the teachers and aides expecting them to do something (like tell the kids to stop it) but they did nothing. I was wondering whether to intervene but didn't want to since the teachers and a couple of parents of the kids involved were right there. It continued for a minute until the kids went in. It was partly this incident as well as others like it that made us decide on private school.

A few years later my daughter asked why I'd transferred her to private school. I said it was for the faith and values and told her about the incident described above. I asked her whether kids in her school could shout "LIAR" at another kid and she said it would never happen--the teachers or the older kids who had monitoring duty would intervene. I asked her then and have asked a couple of times since whether she'd like to go back to public school and the answer has always been no.

private schools almost always pay less than public schools. I am a public hs teacher and I tell my boss all the time that I am overpaid for what I am expected to do. Because of this, I come in early, stay late, manage clubs and after school activities, and spend a good deal of time figuring out challenging and fun activities for my students. Many teachers that I know in private schools know that they are underpaid and just "punch the clock" to get their time in to get their paychecks.

This can be true, I've seen some private school teachers who underperform, but having taught at private as well as public schools I've seen both--private school teachers who aren't making much and are still totally dedicated to doing everything they can because they aren't really in it for the money, and public school teachers who are really not that interested in education and are just going through the motions. Luckily most of the teachers at my kids' private schools were very caring and dedicated--I really wish that they were earning more.

Our public schools around here tend to be far better than the parochial schools in terms of both cliques and academics.

Again this will vary from school to school and district to district. In terms of the academics we've been lucky--a friend of ours had twins who wanted their own identity so she sent one twin to our school and another to the nearby public school. Comparing their work she saw such a difference that she decided that identity issues weren't as important as academics and said that the one in public school had to benefit from the private school education as well.


As other posters have pointed out, not all public schools are bad and not all private schools are great. By all means do your research and find out more about possible school choices for your family. Here's one resource for school reviews http://www.greatschools.org/ but nothing beats a visit to the school.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

Didn't have the strenght to read this entire thread tonigth and I had a long list of pros and cons to private school. We have one in private school (she has Dyspraxia and Asperger's) and three others in public. It just comes down to your families personal situation.

I will say from my personal perspective, I was in public school from k - 9th grade. In 10th grade we moved to another state. My parents were told the public schools in our new town were not that good, so I was put in a small private "Christian" school, and I use that term loosely, as I didn't see much of anything Christian goin on there. There were most definitely cliques there and, guess what, they were doing the same drugs, listening to the same rock-n-roll and having the same sex as all the kids in public school. Big waste of my parents money!

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not down on all private schools, but just because there's a Christian label and a few less kids per class, does NOT mean your kids will get a better education.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

Other factors to consider are that the kids expelled from public school end up in the private schools

Yes, this. I went to a $$ private elementary school chock full of delinquents who had been expelled from the public schools. My parents really thought that they were doing something wonderful for me and didn't listen when I told them that I was being bullied every.single.day by these creeps. To this day, my mother doesn't want to hear what really went on at that school

Anyways, I'm undecided on the public/private debate. In all likelyhood, my 4.5 year-old will get the McKay scholarship (scholarship for kids on IEPs here in FL), so in theory I could send her to private school for free. However, our neighborhood school has a very good reputation and I feel that it is at least worth looking at. DH remains convinced that we must go private...I guess that time will tell. DD is at a private Montessori preschool but that school only goes to Kindergarten. In all honesty, after my experience in private school, I'd at least like to try public school for my own kids.

 

[ccgirl]

Yes, this. I went to a $$ private elementary school chock full of delinquents who had been expelled from the public schools. My parents really thought that they were doing something wonderful for me and didn't listen when I told them that I was being bullied every.single.day by these creeps. To this day, my mother doesn't want to hear what really went on at that school

Anyways, I'm undecided on the public/private debate. In all likelyhood, my 4.5 year-old will get the McKay scholarship (scholarship for kids on IEPs here in FL), so in theory I could send her to private school for free. However, our neighborhood school has a very good reputation and I feel that it is at least worth looking at. DH remains convinced that we must go private...I guess that time will tell. DD is at a private Montessori preschool but that school only goes to Kindergarten. In all honesty, after my experience in private school, I'd at least like to try public school for my own kids.

Really??? The private school accepts kids expelled from public? Must depend on the school because my DD's school would NEVER accept an student that was expelled.

 

[badblackpug]

A few things. My experience with academic performance comes from this: I have 2 friends that had their kids in the local parochial schools (2 different schools) The 1st had 3 kids. When she had her 4th, she unfortunately "sized out" of her house and had to move. With the new house and new baby she was unable to afford private school so she moved her kids to the local public. He kids were so far behind their grade level they had to do pull out programs for a year to catch up with their classmates, and her 1st 2 kids are bright. Her 3rd an average student. My other friend's son is an only child. He went to public school K-8. She decided that she wanted him to go to private school for HS because she wanted to avoid the "bad influences." What she noticed when he went to private school was that they did not have the resources of the public school, and the class sizes were no smaller. Specifically the computer lab did not have enough computers for each student and they had to share. The other issue was all the extras, above and beyond the tuition that she had to pay. There was always a "donation" for this or that. Plus books, plus the fees for extra-curricular activities.

In re-reading the OP, it seems that this is a budget stretch. The OP mentions having to move to a smaller home. Honestly, in this economy selling a house may not be feasible, or even reasonable as you really may not be able to get what your home is worth. Now that being said, if I felt my public schools were really sub par, I would do it. Personally, I am more concerned with the academics than the religious aspect, but let me qualify that by saying I am not christian. I truly, firmly believe that values are taught at home and regardless of school your kids attend there will be people there whose values do and don't jive with yours. I think the important thing is to give your kids a good foundation at home so that they make the right choices in the world.

Our public schools have a "zero tolerance" policy for bullying and violence. These things are not tolerated. As far as cliques go, there is not really anything anyone can do about that. Girls are particularly guilty of this. No school can really enforce who plays with whom, or hangs out with whom outside of school. They can ensure that they are not teasing or bullying others but as far as the little girl wars ("I'm not talking to you, and neither are my friends on general principle") there is little anyone can do but ride out the storm!

 

[PrincessTiffany]

Really??? The private school accepts kids expelled from public? Must depend on the school because my DD's school would NEVER accept an student that was expelled.

You better double check that policy. MANY private schools end up with deliquent kids from public schools.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I went to public school and while I received a good education, it was not a "great" education. I live in the same district I graduated from, but now the school is definetely sub-standard. I sent both of my children to parochial elementary/middle schools. DD just graduated from Catholic H.S., and DS is in a Jesuit H.S.

I have to admit in our area, this is definetely the right choice. DH and I have struggled for years with our budget to pay off the schooling, but I wouldn't change it for a second.

There is never a "you have the wrong words/clothes" problem in our area at the schools. Expelled students only have one choice of school to attend and all the districts use that one school.

I am not sure if it is the schools or my children but they both loved their schools and classes. DD received a full-ride to her college choice, and DS is extremely excited to start AP classes this year (his sophmore year). Both schools are total opposites, DD only had 70 girls in her whole graduating class, DS has over 200.

The newspaper just released the scores of state testing (I have to admit though that I do not believe in them) and our local public school that they would have attended has a higher failure rate than pass rate at all grade levels. Their schools rank in the Top Ten in the private school sector.

Is private school for everyone, absolutely not. Was it for us, no doubt about it. My children would have been lost in the system in public school. It all comes down to the choice that is best for your child, and ultimately only you and your partner can make that choice. Good Luck.

 

[pandora174]

Really??? The private school accepts kids expelled from public? Must depend on the school because my DD's school would NEVER accept an student that was expelled.

Gosh I felt like I was applying for college to get DS into his current private school. The one he attended in Kinder & 1rst grade, the usual paperwork expected at any public school. But for 2nd, (the only difference is that this school is a Catholic parochial school). They asked for his records from pre-k through 1rst grade, all testing results, letter of recommendation from last school & current ST pathologist, last 2 years report cards, current & past speech evaluations (he'll get ST at this school) & he still had to pass their entrance exam, as family we had to meet with the principal & the priest AND then we got the acceptance letter This school will go through 8th grade, so while no private school is perfect I'm very happy with my choice. They also have a very strict no bullying policy & cameras in all classrooms & common areas to enforce this & I agree they would never accept a student that had been previously expelled.

Now in our area the public school are really bad. In pre-k DS came home making gang signs. So for us private school was the way to go. Since we have a McKay scholarship I was very lucky to be able to pick the best private school that fit our needs. Very big for us is that the private school is accredited, resources including science, computer, art, spanish & multiple sports + a very active social activities & a strong religious base. So it all comes down to what is best for your family.

 

[ccgirl]

You better double check that policy. MANY private schools end up with deliquent kids from public schools.

That is definitely their policy. I am on the board. We do not feel expelled students would adhere to our code of conduct. Plus, there is a waiting list for every grade. A lot of students on the waiting list never get the chance to be admitted.

 

[ccgirl]

Gosh I felt like I was applying for college to get DS into his current private school. The one he attended in Kinder & 1rst grade, the usual paperwork expected at any public school. But for 2nd, (the only difference is that this school is a Catholic parochial school). They asked for his records from pre-k through 1rst grade, all testing results, letter of recommendation from last school & current ST pathologist, last 2 years report cards, current & past speech evaluations (he'll get ST at this school) & he still had to pass their entrance exam, as family we had to meet with the principal & the priest AND then we got the acceptance letter This school will go through 8th grade, so while no private school is perfect I'm very happy with my choice. They also have a very strict no bullying policy & cameras in all classrooms & common areas to enforce this & I agree they would never accept a student that had been previously expelled.

Same for my DD's school. They are very selective with admissions. I totally agree with it and am very pleased with her education thus far.

 

[ccgirl]

A few things. My experience with academic performance comes from this: I have 2 friends that had their kids in the local parochial schools (2 different schools) The 1st had 3 kids. When she had her 4th, she unfortunately "sized out" of her house and had to move. With the new house and new baby she was unable to afford private school so she moved her kids to the local public. He kids were so far behind their grade level they had to do pull out programs for a year to catch up with their classmates, and her 1st 2 kids are bright. Her 3rd an average student. My other friend's son is an only child. He went to public school K-8. She decided that she wanted him to go to private school for HS because she wanted to avoid the "bad influences." What she noticed when he went to private school was that they did not have the resources of the public school, and the class sizes were no smaller. Specifically the computer lab did not have enough computers for each student and they had to share. The other issue was all the extras, above and beyond the tuition that she had to pay. There was always a "donation" for this or that. Plus books, plus the fees for extra-curricular activities.

In re-reading the OP, it seems that this is a budget stretch. The OP mentions having to move to a smaller home. Honestly, in this economy selling a house may not be feasible, or even reasonable as you really may not be able to get what your home is worth. Now that being said, if I felt my public schools were really sub par, I would do it. Personally, I am more concerned with the academics than the religious aspect, but let me qualify that by saying I am not christian. I truly, firmly believe that values are taught at home and regardless of school your kids attend there will be people there whose values do and don't jive with yours. I think the important thing is to give your kids a good foundation at home so that they make the right choices in the world.

Our public schools have a "zero tolerance" policy for bullying and violence. These things are not tolerated. As far as cliques go, there is not really anything anyone can do about that. Girls are particularly guilty of this. No school can really enforce who plays with whom, or hangs out with whom outside of school. They can ensure that they are not teasing or bullying others but as far as the little girl wars ("I'm not talking to you, and neither are my friends on general principle") there is little anyone can do but ride out the storm!

I think it is definitely a school to school thing not just a state or district. My DD had a new student join them in grade 1. She ended up staying after for extra help because she was so behind already. As I mentioned, my DD attended a reading/math camp for a couple of weeks this summer which was held by public school teachers. They told me she was leaps and bounds above the public students. However, go to the next town and that is not the case with their parochial school.

Private schools also offer financial aid. If you decide private school is the way you want to go and feel you will have a tough time affording it definitely look into financial aid. I know our school offers it and quite a few people take advantage of it. I think it is a great thing and I usually go to every fundraiser there is just so I can donate money to the education fund. We don't pay for books. The $3600 tuition is all inclusive. No mandatory fundraiser, fees etc. I am very torn what we are going to do when my DD reaches 9th grade as her school only goes thru the 8th grade. At this point, I am leaning toward an IB school which is one of the best in the country. However, admission is by lottery so it is extremely difficult to get in there as well.

Good luck with your decision; it is not an easy one.

 

[MomToOne]

You better double check that policy. MANY private schools end up with deliquent kids from public schools.

And many exclude them, or takes them only in certain circumstances. Ours requires the records from any previous schools and teacher references from their most recent school before accepting any students. And we've kicked out plenty of kids who get into trouble after coming to the school - that's one of the often unspoken strengths of private school, after all. We can actually kick out the trouble makers much more easily than public schools.

It all really depends on the school. If they are desperate for enrollment (many are), they will often take anyone with a checkbook. Or the administration may not be on the ball, or have bigger issues to deal with than background checks on 7 year olds. Or, they may believe in serving "at risk" groups and choose to take students with certain backgrounds. That's where getting to know the individual school is key, to see if their philosophy/management style corresponds with your values/beliefs/wants.

 

[melancholywings]

I don't think there is a right answer for this. Not all public schools or private schools are a like. We did a private school and it was a horrible experience - what they promised and delivered were two different things. I kind of felt like we paid a whole lot of money to be treated like crap. But our public school has a very 'small town' feeling and we adore it and the staff.

 

[badblackpug]

I think it is definitely a school to school thing not just a state or district. My DD had a new student join them in grade 1. She ended up staying after for extra help because she was so behind already. As I mentioned, my DD attended a reading/math camp for a couple of weeks this summer which was held by public school teachers. They told me she was leaps and bounds above the public students. However, go to the next town and that is not the case with their parochial school.

Private schools also offer financial aid. If you decide private school is the way you want to go and feel you will have a tough time affording it definitely look into financial aid. I know our school offers it and quite a few people take advantage of it. I think it is a great thing and I usually go to every fundraiser there is just so I can donate money to the education fund. We don't pay for books. The $3600 tuition is all inclusive. No mandatory fundraiser, fees etc. I am very torn what we are going to do when my DD reaches 9th grade as her school only goes thru the 8th grade. At this point, I am leaning toward an IB school which is one of the best in the country. However, admission is by lottery so it is extremely difficult to get in there as well.

Good luck with your decision; it is not an easy one.

I agree it's a school to school thing. Unfortunately, enrollment is down in the parochial schools here so they are charging a lot for "extras." My sister sent her kids to a local catholic school because her districts school were deplorable, she got financial aid. She has since moved, so it's not an issue. The prep schools in the area are excellent, bar none, but the tuition is $10,000 for K/PreK, $15,000 for elem, $20,000 for middle, and $25,000 for HS. It's just not within financial reach for a lot of people. My advice to the OP was to compare the schools since it seems to be a financial stretch. She may find that one or the other is better or she may find that they are on pretty equal footing. I would not put myself in financial hardship if the educational quality was equal.

 

[MomtoAlexnWilliam]

You better double check that policy. MANY private schools end up with deliquent kids from public schools.

There is no way a kid with a history of delinquency would be allowed at my kids' school. Like others have said, the application packet we had to fill out is comprehensive and serves to weed out behavior problem children.

We all pay way too much for our children's education to have our child's experience disrupted by a delinquent child. And in the instances where a child becomes a problem during the year the school can and has taken quick steps to fix the problem -- the kid either straightens up or is gone.

Of course, that is just my school. Other schools may have a more lenient policy.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

We live in the deep south, so there aren't too many traditional parochial schools, as we have a low Catholic population. We live in a suburb of Montgomery, Alabama and there's one Catholic school within a 100 mile radius of where we live. What we do have here in the buckle of the Bible Belt is an over abundance of "Christian" schools or facilities referring to themselves as Christian schools. Ever heard the term, there's a church on every street corner? Well, we have a private school on every street corner. Many of these places take deliquents and behavior problems of all kinds and have little or no accredidation sometimes. Also, public schools in the deep south have the bad reputation of having low test scores and standards, sometimes warranted, sometimes not. I think a lot of people, sometimes irrationally, think private is always better around here, and well, it's not. Also, people don't like to talk about it, but racism is still alive and well here in the south and many people here send their kids to private schools to separate them from minorities. The three largest, most elite private schools in Montgomery graduated a total of about 15 minorites this past school year. Yes, 15. Also, I've never heard of a private school in our area offering financial aid, ever.

I do want to say that we do have some very good private schools in our area, our oldest daughter is attending a private school for bright/high i.q. kids with learning disabilities and/or Autisim or Autisim spectrum disorders and it's an incredible school. Our three youngest continue to go to an outstanding public school.

Public or private school has to be considered on a family by family basis. There are way too many factors to definitely say one is better than the other.

 

[a742246]

I sent my children to private schools(20,000+). Is it worth it? It really depends on how your current school district is. If its a good-excellent school district then private schools are not worth it. If its poor to fair, then private schools are the answer.

My suggestion is, If you are in a poor to fair district, look into an area that has a good school district and move into that area. If you cannot find one then private education is the way to go.

I believe that if you are in a good to excellent public school district then send them there. Why? Because private education is expensive and it is a 13 year commitment. You better be financially stable for that span of time. I was for 12 of those 13 years, but for that one bad year (I owned my own business) they put be thru hell. Just think about it, you will probably spend at least $100,000 for those 13 years per child. You could put that money into a college fund and they will have a no-debt college degree upon graduation.

A good education is only as good as the effort that you put into it. If your current school district has the tools for a good education then use it.

This is just my opinion, but whatever you do, have fun doing it.